Dance Monkey Dance
Dance Monkey Dance
xmlns=\"http://www.w3.org/TR/REC-html40\">
Dance Monkey Dance
Card
Warnings and (hides her head here
and now just to let everyone know what they are getting themselves into)
Dis-claim-ations:
150%;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo2;tab-stops:list .75in\'>a.
I sadly do not own DBZ, DB or DBGT. If
I did, you will soon see what abuse I would then inflict to our heroes.
150%;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo2;tab-stops:list .75in\'>
Sigh. Let’s
see, warnings: Unrepentant abuse of
characters. HUMOR SEX LEMONS.
influence of the ‘full moon.’
150%;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo2;tab-stops:list .75in\'>
I did not even really break a sweat trying to keep this
one ‘canon’ but if I shocked myself, and kept some things canon, let me
know. Oh, the characters should be ‘in
character.’
150%;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo2;tab-stops:list .75in\'>
I am not trying to ‘make fun’ of anyone’s story.
under the full moon’ idea in general.
(One of my favorites. Mmm…horny Saiyans.)yes\"> So this is all HUMOR.
FUNNY. Laugh with me!
150%;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo2;tab-stops:list .75in\'>
THIS IS A ONE SHOT.
NO MORE CHAPTERS. DON’T
ASK. *glares at certain people who know
who they are. *
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***
font-style:normal\'>
font-style:normal\'> In the
many, many, many long years since Vegeta-sei was destroyed by the evil Tyrant
Freiza, the customs of the Saiyan race were lost.yes\"> All the knowledge that existed in the world was that of the
Prince, who had been a very, very young child when he was taken from his
world. Naturally, being such an
innocent thing, nobody had informed this child of the ways the moon could
affect a Saiyan’s libido and mating instinct.
font-style:normal\'> As far
as the Prince knew, the moon was insignificant.yes\"> That it affected only the ability to attain transformation.
transformation and whatever passing effects the moon might have had were
dismissed with a sniff of a regal nose and a sneer.yes\">
font-style:normal\'> Fool.
font-style:normal\'>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***
font-style:normalspanspan style=\'mso-tab-count:1\'> Goku
woke up with a grimace and pressed a hand to his stomach; it felt…weird.
really heavy and kind of painful. He
rubbed the heal of his hand across his tummy and tried to imagine why it was
that he could have a stomach ache in the middle of the night.
servings of vegetables, a couple of chickens (he didn’t like chicken, it was
girly meat) and half a sheet-cake. (It
had been Goten’s birthday, after all.
So he left that second half for his son.)yes\"> That wasn’t an unusual meal.
But now he was starting to think that maybe he shouldn’t have eaten the
rice too. It might have been overkill
for his poor tummy.
font-style:normal\'> And it
wasn’t until after he flipped the covers off—heard Chichi snore with a
disinterested sort of disapproval—and moved his legs that he realized it wasn’t
his stomach
drifted in through the window, all pleasant and nice—seemingly—and as it
reached his skin, it made his flesh tingle and heat up and he blushed mightily
as he looked between his legs.
(Obviously he had seen an erection—his erection at least—before, he did
have two kids after all and those didn’t just fall out of the sky—although he
had fallen out of the sky so that was a common misconception and people needed
to stop making fun of him for it.
Anyway, he had seen an erection before, but DAMN.)<
st
style=\"mso-spacerun: yes\">
font-style:normal\'> It
wasn’t his stomach that hurt, it seemed, but his nether region that was
demanding rather loudly—and painfully—that it would very much like to be taken
care of,thatthat wasn’t too much to ask.
Thanks.
font-style:normal\'> So he
managed to get out of bed—rather carefully, because it did hurt quite a lot—and
crept across the floor. Felt like a
huge idiot as he hunched over and inched along in his little sleeping
shorts. (Remember all those pants he
tore up fighting people? They were now
sleeping shorts.) When he finally made
it to the door, he stopped the tip-toeing nonsense.yes\"> (Chichi did not a happy woman make when you woke her up before
she was ready to be awake.) He padded
down the hallway, down the stairs and without really stopping to consider just
what the hell it was he was doing, he opened the front door and was blasted
full on with that moonlight that made him all tingly and warm and his nether
parts were virtually dancing for joy about this new development.
font-style:normal\'> Thusly
taken over by instinct, he left the door open, and took off into the air.
font-style:normal\'>
font-style:normal\'>~~~***
font-style:normal\'> Vegeta,
his highness, was woken up in the middle of the night by a rather insistent
erection that demanded the attention of the body to which it was attached.
pissed the woman off and was sleeping on the couch) and the moonlight that
strained in through the windows made his skin darken, heat up and it
tingled. Insanely tingled, and his
erection did a happy little jolt of pleasure, and coaxed him to his feet.
font-style:normal\'> (Why he
was listening to a part of his body that in fact did not think he did not know,
but for now he was willing to just go along with what it seemed to want.)
font-style:normal\'> He
crossed the floor with his socked feet, opened the fronor, or, and shivered in
the full force of the moonlight.
(Shivered in the chilly air that smashed into his shirtless little body,
and made his erection think twice about this apparent plan to go outside into
that air.) Vegeta stepped up into the
air and flew away without closing his front door.yes\"> (Which was stupid because he did have a toddler floating around
his house, and he should turn around and close the door, but his erection gave
a throb and reasserted its control of the situation.)
font-style:normal\'> So he
floated in the moonlight, headed toward it and thought pleasant thoughts
about…well, he wasn’t sure what he was thinking about other than it would be really
nice if he had some sort of person lying around ready and willing to allow him
to sate this erection so he could go back to being the one in charge.
part of your body after all.
careful what you wish for, because who else did he meet, out in the middle of
an empty stretch of land directly under the moonlight, but a mostly naked
Kakarot sporting an equally insistent erection.yes\"> (Not that Kakarot’s erection really had to work very hard to take
charge of that brain.) Just before his
feet landed, he wanted to cross his arms over his chest and demand—in a haughty
‘I’m better than you’ type voice—just what Kakarot was doing there.
twinge of pain and told him to keep his Kamidamned mouth shut, they both knew
who was in charge here.
font-style:normal\'> So
Vegeta didn’t say anything, stood in front of Kakarot and wondered just what it
was that he (and his bossy erection) were doing here.yes\"> He tilted his head back, looked up at the moon, felt his whole
body alive with those tingles until all his skin had flushed out with
excitement and even the barest movement of the wind was making him shudder like
an animal in heat. He sighed—that too
made his body shudder with excitement—and looked back at Kakarot.
font-style:normal\'> Who…was…
font-style:normal\'> Dancing.
font-style:normal\'> Looked
just about as confused as Vegeta was amused by this.yes\"> In fact, he thought he should be laughing his ass off at the
idiot who was looking at his arms—which were waving back and forth in the air
while he had his feet a good space apart and was twisting.
font-style:normal\'> But,
his erection stubbornly told him to look at his own arms.
l;
font-style:normal\'> WOULD
YOU BELIEVE IT?!
font-style:normal\'> The
Prince of Saiyans was dancing like a moron too.yes\"> Dancing with his hands all up in the air, flapping back and forth
while he jutted his hips all over the place (this pleased his erection
immensely) and all that was really missing was the hooting.
and hated the instinct as soon as he felt the first ‘hoot’ in his throat—and that
a good ‘hoot hoot’ was in order. And
that is what came out of his mouth.
font-style:normal\'> Monkey
noises.
font-style:normal\'> Kakarot
smirked. Then he hooted in
response. But he didn’t stop
dancing. In fact, his dancing started
to be less about the arms in the air flailing about like uselessly pieces of
string caught in an updraft and became much more about his hips.
crouching and looking confused about that as well.
font-style:normal\'> Meanwhile
Vegeta remained standing, leaned forward though.yes\"> Hooted very authoritatively.
(Just to let everyone know whose boss here.)yes\"> And the dancing continued, until he was all slick with sweat and
shining in the moonlight that was now making every inch of his skin burn with
the need to be touched, and his erection was pulsing with his heart beat
(mocking him, he was sure.)
font-style:normal\'> Of
course, as soon as Vegeta thought the situation got less embarrassing, Goku
went back to standing up, hooted louder than him—verged on a scream, really—and
toppled him to the ground.
font-styormaormal\'> And
didn’t that just make his erection so happy he thought he would die right
there. The big idiot bared his teeth,
hooted real low in his throat and set about ripping his pants off—Vegeta’s, not
the idiot’s. When that task was done,
he looked mildly confused with just what he was supposed to be doing next and
then figured out—probably do to his own erection’s bossiness—that he needed to
be naked as well. So, he ripped off his
own pants.
font-style:normal\'> Smirked
happily.
would you believe that Vegeta was still doing his little idiot dance even
though he was on his back, and (for whatever reason he did not know) he shoved
Kakarot onto his back and pressed one of his knees into the ground on either
side of the idiot’s hips so he could flail his arms about more, hoot like an
idiot and jerk his hips against the hardness jutting up proudly.
font-style:normal\'> If he
died tonight so that nobody need ever know about this, he would be one happy
Saiyan.
font-style:normal\'>
font-style:normal\'>~~~***
font-style:normal\'> Dancing
was fun.
font-style:normal\'> Odd.
font-style:normal\'> Slig
al
alarming that just one little part of him seemed to be doing all the thinking,
but then everyone said he had a little brain, and if that was true than his
erection was bigger than his brain and he should think with it more often so
everyone would leave him alone about his little brain.
font-style:normal\'> Anyway.
font-style:normal\'> Vegeta
dancing was especially nice. Definitely
when he shoved him back onto his back and Vegeta danced above him like that,
and looked so very pretty in the moonlight (that moonlight was driving Goku to
distraction) and he enjoyed this slow for a few precious minutes, got sick of
it, and brought Vegeta down so he could grind against him better.
thing.
font-style:normal\'> The
grinding thing was okay. His erection
stopped aching so badly he thought he would die from it, but it wasn’t as
satisfying as making babies had been.
So he let his nether parts do the thinking for a few minutes (poor thing
was busy after all) and it came up with a brilliant idea!
back under him, pinned him to the ground and wrapped his mouth around his
hardness. (Spent a moment wonder just
how his erection thought this was going to help him have sex.)
him (that was a rather interesting nice taste, he didn’t know why Chichi bitched
so much) he was rewarded. (That part
was rather disgusting.) But his erection
(the moonlight and his instincts) told him how to use that there ‘reward’ and
get to the ‘baby-making without the baby’ part of the evening.
font-style:normal\'> And
when that was accomplished (and he had some serious questions for his erection
when he was finish here about just why the hell he had put his fingers where he
had with what was on them on them and all that nice…stuff) he picked Vegeta up
again—still dancing and hooting, mind you—turned him over—just so he would stop
flailing his arms really—and then pushed into him.
font-style:normal\'> Oh that
was good.
font-style:normal\'> But he
had the feeling that if that moonlight from the full moon wasn’t showering
Vegeta with the lovely tingling feeling that he might end up in a fistfight
instead of getting the sex he wanted, and since his body was much bigger, he wrapped
his arms around the Prince and pulled him up so he was sitting on him.
angle.) Then he proceeded to put all
his careful preparation to good use as he thrust into the heat of Vegeta’s slim
body.
font-style:normal\'> The
hooting (finally) changed to strained little groans.yes\"> The arms (unfortunately) still waved in the air, but not for
long, they soaked up the moonlight, his skin flushed out again, and those
flailing arms dropped down to Vegeta’s erection and wrapped his hand around it.
font-style:normal\'> Not
that he cared, because his main concern was that his erection had finally
escaped from the cold of the open air and into the searing heat of Vegeta’s
body. His shoulders and back were
tingling from the moonlight and he kept one hand on Vegeta’s chest as he thrust
into him and drove his body up and down against him, and dropped the other down,
wrapped around one of the strong thighs and pulled it open farther, heard his
own little whimper as he tried to move faster and Vegeta rolled his head
against his shoulder as he thrust into his own hand and clenched his body all
around Goku.
font-style:normal\'> He felt
Vegeta’s breath against his neck as he pressed his bared teeth against Vegeta’s
shoulder, his mouth watered—which he found freaking odd—but his erection (from
within Vegeta) gave him a pained little throb and he opened his mouth, pressed
his teeth to skin, and as he tipped over the edge into the oblivion of climax
he bit through the skin and drew blood.
font-style:normal\'> Felt
something rip into his throat—just the outer skin—and whimpered as he released
inside of Vegeta. (Was so happy that no
babies were coming from this, because that would really suck.)
font-style:normal\'>
font-style:normal\'>~~~***
font-style:normal\'> He
wiggled his toes—why he had no idea—just before he opened his eyes and looked
down to see that the only damn thing he was wearing was a pair of socks.
the big idiot sleeping happily (and NAKEDLY) next to him.
was odd) then looked down at his placid nether parts and GLARED for all he was
worth.
font-style:normal\'> Stupid
ass erection thinking that it should do the thinking!yes\"> AS IF! Look what mess it
had gotten them into! (Although his
nether parts pointed out rather sleepily that he had not gotten into anything,
really.)
font-style:normal\'> Kakarot
yawned, sat up and blinked happily.
Scratched the bite on his neck and looked like an idiot.
screeched. “DANCING!” he shouted.
font-style:normal\'> Vegeta
felt his eyes go huge and jumped to his feet, stalked over to Kakarot and
stabbed his chest with his finger. “DON’T.
ANYONE.” Then he frowned,
crossed his arms over his own chest and tried to figure out a way out of his
mess without having to let anyone know what had happened the night before.
font-style:normal\'> “Wait, ‘Geta.
dancing or don’t tell anyone about any of it?”
font-style:normal\'> “Any of
it,” he snapped, then remembered the idiot had that IT thing he could do.
font-style:normal\'> “But ‘Geta,
I don’t know where your room is.”
font-style:normal\'> “Then
take us back to the Capsule house. Just
not where anyone will see us.” Then he
had to move closer and actually touch the bastard to get swept up in that
technique. When they reappeared, they
were standing behind the bar in the kitchen, looking at his son and his wife
who were just sitting down to eat as they said:
font-style:normal\'> “Uh…Dad?”
font-style:normal\'> “DADDY!”
that was Bra, but luckily, Bulma still moved faster than the toddler and
snatched her up before she could get behind the bar and see the naked
people. She screamed though.
font-style:normal\'> “No,
you don’t,” Trunks said, took his sister from his Mom and disappeared as fast
as his demi-Saiyan legs could carry him.
font-style:normal\'> Vegeta
punched Kakarot. “WHAT DID I SAY?!”
font-style:normal\'> “Well
how was I supposed to know there would be people in the kitchen!?” Kakarot
shouted back. “Besides, this is the
only part of this building I know about!”
font-style:normal\'> “I’m
taking a shower!” Vegeta shouted and
stormed away. (That damn woman had seen
him naked so she would just have to deal with his nakedness, dammit.)
font-style:normal\'> “Sure
thing, ‘Geta!”n stn style=\"mso-spacerun: yes\"> Then the idiot
disappeared again. And there were a few
seconds of sheer silence, and then he heard Bulma start screaming.
make it to the bathroom before she did and slammed the door, locked it and
smirked at it when he heard her start pounding on it.yes\">
font-style:normal\'> No way would
anyone ever, ever, ever know about what happened yesternight.
font-style:normal\'>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*******
font-style:normal\'> *hangs
head * Okay, to explain where the hell
this one came from: I was watching that
remake of ‘Planet of the Apes’ (with Mark Wahlberg) and there is that one scene
where the orangutan lady is dancing on the bed hooting and whatnot when people
run through the room and she’s like ‘AHHH!’
But before the interruption the two apes were looking mighty…er… ‘hooty.’
font-style:normal\'> Wah-lah.
font-style:normal\'>
font-style:normal\'>Gk: Nobody but them
anyway.
font-style:normal\'>Vegeta: They must
die.
font-style:norm>Gk:>Gk: Ah, Geta.
font-style:normal\'>Vegeta: What about
her? *points at Card *
font-style:normal\'>Gk: Okay.
But… ‘Geta, if we kill her think
of all the sex we won’t be having.
font-style:normal\'>Vegeta: Someone else
will start writing about it. Without
hooting. Or dancing.
font-style:normal\'>