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Lost In Teletubby Land	By : immatureimp Category: Dragon Ball Z > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 777 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own DragonballZ, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Lost In Teletubby Land
- 1
Disclaimers: No I don’t own Dragon ball Z or the Teletubbies. Betcha didn’t know that did ya?

Warnings: Major Stupidity ahead. Yaoi hints G/V, Tinky Winky/Dipsy, LaLa/Po and the Bunnies making bunnies....
Lost In Teletubby Land
"Over the hills and far away, teletubbies come to play…"

Goku and Vegeta materialized on a gently rolling hillside covered with small clusters of pink flowers. They studied their surroundings in confusion. The sky was bright blue, with white cotton puff clouds. The grass beneath their feet was a perfect spring green, but somehow didn’t look quite right. Probably because it was artificial turf. Vegeta growled and dropped into a fighting stance when he saw the sun. It was a lot closer than it should be, and was dominated by the face of a darling baby.

Goku acted quickly. Pulling the prince protectively behind him, he allowed golden energy to ball around his hand.. The sun smiled and let out a delighted giggle at the sparkling display.

Vegeta stepped out from behind Goku’s back. "I don‘t think it dangerous, moron,“ he muttered. “I am Vegeta, Prince of All Saiyajins. Where are we?” he asked the sunny-faced... um... sun.

The sun gurgled and cooed.

“ ‘Geta, I don’t think it understands you,” Goku flew up about ten feet and tickled the cute little baby chin. “Coo-chee Coo-chee Coo,” he babbled in baby talk.

The wide-eyed sun just looked confused.

Vegeta groaned, “Damn it, Kakkarot, I knew I shouldn’t have let you teleport us. Now you’ve got us lost on some demented child’s fantasy world, with fake grass and a stupid fake sun that GIGGLES!”

"At least the bunnies are real," Kakkarot observed. He nudged the prince with his elbow, Vegeta staggered a step or two forward before regaining his balance. "Look at those two…"

Vegeta looked at the bunnies that he’d indicated and blushed furiously. "Just where in hell did you teleport us to?" he asked sharply. Goku shrugged, still watching the two rabbits do... well... what rabbits do.

They walked towards a circular structure in the distance that was covered with the same grass-like material as the ground. "Perhaps they’ll let us have some of the rabbits," Vegeta mused aloud, "It’s been a while since we ate and I could use some real meat."

Goku stopped in his tracks. "You wouldn’t EAT the cute little bunnies, would you?" he gasped in horror.

Vegeta put his hands on his hips and scowled. "They’re not cute, idiot, they’re food!"

"They are too cute!"

"Fine. You’re right, Kakkarot, they are cute. They’ll look even cuter roasting over an open flame." Vegeta licked his canines hungrily then glared at the younger saiyajin.

"Vegeta! That isn’t nice. Now just look at that..." Goku sighed happily as he pointed at two brown and white bunnies who were currently giving each what looked like Eskimo kisses, little pink noses touching and whiskers twitching. "Ahhh... Aren’t they adorable?" Goku sighed, little hearts in his eyes.

Vegeta snorted in disgust. "This place is disgusting! I KNEW I shouldn‘t have let you teleport us…"

“Fine, next time you do it!” Goku snapped back petulantly.

“I would if I could, fool. The problem, Kakkarot, is that your sense of direction is on a par with your intelligence.”

“What?” Big words confused Goku, as well as some not so big words.

“You couldn’t find your way out of a paper bag without a large neon arrow pointing the direction.” Vegeta snickered at the image.

“Hey!”

Their argument was interrupted by a strange sound. An odd periscope-type device had sprung from the ground nearby. It was apparently part of some type of public address system, because it announced, "Time for teletubbies, time for teletubbies…" pointed toward the structure. A blue projectile had spurted out of the center. "Tinky Winky!" it shouted.

Goku, who had started to power up at the first weird sound, yelled and pushed through to the third level of Super Saiyajin, when the blue creature appeared. Jumping into a fighting stance he tripped over his hair and skidded face first through the artificial turf, getting a nasty rug burn across his forehead before he finally stopped, tangled in golden hair ropes.

Vegeta didn’t move, primarily because he was too stunned. He watched in open-mouthed horror as three more projectiles emerged from the structure. "Dipsy!’ a green one proclaimed. "La La!" came from a yellow one. "PO!" was the triumphant call of the red one.

The creatures had landed on the top of the structure and now ran, spilling down the sides. Goku was once again on his feet ready to counter any enemy attack, but the little creatures were completely unconcerned. They stopped just in front of the pair and tumbled to the ground, rolling and kicking their chubby little legs.

.

They were pear-shaped creatures, very wide in the hip and thigh area, and they were completely covered in brightly colored fur, except for their faces. They each had a differently shaped antenna protruding from the tops of their heads, and a silver rectangle on their little bellies. Their faces were sweetly animated and their eyes had a look of innocence that was rather endearing. They reminded Goku of the toys that he had received in the last hundred kid‘s meals he had ordered at the local hamburger joint. He always ate the kid’s meals because he liked to play with the toys afterwards. “These must be the teletubbies,” he guessed.

“No shit Sherlock...” Vegeta muttered under his breath. “What the fuck was your first clue?”

Goku decided that they looked harmless enough. He powered down, saying, "Well, Vegeta, I don’t think that they mean us any harm." Vegeta rolled his eyes. Just because they looked like giant tub toys didn’t mean they weren’t dangerous. Buu had looked like a rolly-polly sweetheart too. And he remembered all too well how that turned out. These beings were too adorable to be totally harmless. He planned on keeping his guard up. Of course he’d never admit that out loud.

"Hi! My name’s Goku and this is Vegeta. We come in peace." Goku indicated himself and then Vegeta. The teletubbies jumped up and down clapping their pudgy digit-less hands.

"Cuckoo come peas! ‘Eta! ‘Eta!" said Tinky Winky, the blue one, excitedly.

"Cuckoo, ‘Eta, tubby cusstid?" inquired Po, the red one.

"What did they say?" Goku asked Vegeta under his breath.

“How the hell would I know!” Vegeta snarled back.

Their conversation with the English-challenged overgrown toys was interrupted as the wind suddenly kicked up. A large pinwheel behind the structure began to spin rapidly, making a whirling sound.

"Uh-oh!" the creatures chorused. They scampered to the top of the nearest hill. Curious, Goku and Vegeta followed, warily. The creatures began to undergo some kind of transformation. Their antennae were glowing and the silver rectangles on their tubby bellies showed some kind of static. Apparently, they were television screens. Eventually, only the yellow creature who called herself ‘La La’, remained in the transformed state.

"Oh, oh look, La La!" Tinky Winky exclaimed.

La La stood, looking down at her belly with pride, swaying to and fro. Gradually, images began to appear on the screen. Goku and Vegeta both perked up, because the images were of the two of them! Together, camping in the forest. Embracing in the gravity room.

Getting busy in a large blue satin cover bed.

The final image of them together was so blatantly erotic in nature that even naive Goku couldn’t misunderstand what was happening. Vegeta just looked away, not meeting Goku’s inquiring gaze, pretending no interest in the little documentary on Saiyajin mating. Except for the tell-tale blush that rimmed his cheeks and the large rigid erection that tented his blue spandex, you‘d never have guessed he‘d seen the film. "Again, Again!" the creatures demanded. "Again, Again!"

Once again, the images played out. Goku and Vegeta both turned away, careful not to glance at the little television in the yellow belly. But they did steal a glance or two at each other.

The creatures gathered around them, and crushed them into a fuzzy embrace. "Big hug!" they exclaimed, gleefully. Goku and Vegeta shared a horrified look.

"Yes, well…" Goku began.

"What the fuck is going on?" Vegeta demanded.

But before they could figure it out, the pinwheel began spinning again. This time, it was the green one, Dipsy, who stood with his antenna glowing and his television screen activated. Vegeta felt a sense of foreboding. Dipsy reminded him a bit of Guldo…

This time the images were laced with static, not really in focus – as if they hadn’t quite happened. Yet. But there was no mistaking what they were. Goku training Ubuu. Vegeta training in the Gravity Room. Eating alone. Sleeping alone. Separate.

The teletubbies were uncharacteristically silent. There were no exuberant cries of "Again, Again!" Not this time. Goku looked at Vegeta, but he wouldn’t meet his eyes. Instead he he looked down, kicking his white-booted foot against the green plastic grass, despondently.

"Cuckoo, ‘Eta sad." La La whimpered.

"So sad!" wailed Dipsy, ruefully, throwing himself into Tinky Winky’s comforting embrace.

He patted Dipsy head, murmuring "Dere, dere Dipsy, dere, dere."

The sun sighed forlornly.

Goku took Vegeta by the arm and turned the prince to face him. He lifted Vegeta’s chin – to force him to look into his eyes. "It doesn’t have to be that way, Vegeta," he said, softly.

And they all watched and waited: Goku, the teletubbies, and the sunny-faced sun, as inscrutable emotions played across Vegeta’s face. They all knew – it was up to him. There was a war going on inside him – anger, reluctance, disgust, uncertainty, pride, then determination. Finally, he spoke, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

"We can’t let it end like that," Goku whispered, ignoring Vegeta‘s loud protests and struggles, he pulled the lithe, blue spandex-clad body to his, pressing steel hardness against hard control. "It would be so wrong." He tilted his head down slightly and their lips met. The teletubbies exploded with a tubby cheer! They joined hands and skipped around the new couple gleefully.

Vegeta couldn’t believe what was happening, nor how much he liked it. After all these years, his resolve was broken by ugly fuzzy toys with a stunted vocabulary. Before he could change his mind, he deepened the kiss, pressing his tongue between Goku’s, letting his hands roam until they found the orange clad ass. The he squeezed the two plump cheeks. Goku gasped, then moaned, and then pushed him playfully away, reprimanding him, " ‘Geta, NOT in front of the teletubbies!"

But his words belied his actions, as he pulled Vegeta back, feverishly, overwhelmed by the emotions that he’d just discovered. They were devouring each other, and their hands were beginning to wander and explore all types of stiff ridges and warm valleys. The teletubbies tittered. Suddenly a loud voice, which seemed to come from everywhere, admonished, "Noooooo…"

They pulled apart, guiltily. And watched as La La and Po let go of each other. Tinky-Winky and Dipsy ignored the voice because Tinky was too busy stroking Dipsy’s green antennae.

"Dende?" Goku asked.

“Don’t be absurd," the voice boomed, "It‘s me King Kai!"

"Oh, hi King Kai" Goku said. "I... Umm... I sort of got lost."

"I know," King Kai said, exasperated. "Saiyajins! Next time ask for directions! I was going to make you figure it out by yourself, but it is time for you to leave this place. You are beginning to corrupt the teletubbies."

Vegeta blushed again, and he was getting very tired of doing it too. Even Goku had enough sense to look embarrassed. Though he didn’t understand why.

"We’re very sorry," he said, figuring an apology was what was needed here. Then his stomached growled, "Do you think we could get something to eat first…"

"You CAN’T have any of the bunnies," King Kai said, sharply.

Goku shot Vegeta a quick ‘told-you-so’ look. Vegeta scowled back at him.

"We can, however, give you some tubby custard," King Kai finished.

At this, the teletubbies scampered into the structure. They emerged after a moment, rolling a large keg. It took them a while to roll the keg into position in front of Goku and Vegeta, because they kept getting diverted by each other’s little antics. Po pushed La La, then La La pushed Po – Tinky Winky and Dipsy had a rolling race down one of the hillsides and ended up on top of each other. Goku and Vegeta looked on, their mouths hanging open in disbelief and disgust.

"This is going to be one great story to tell," Goku murmured.

"Don‘t you dare repeat anything that happened here today," Vegeta growled.

"Now it‘s time for you to leave," King Kai intoned. Then he telepathically gave Goku the direction home.

"Big hug!" the teletubbies cried, once again trying to envelope the pair. Goku returned their embrace, patting every fuzzy head that he could get a hand on. Vegeta made sure to hover just out of reached. There was no telling where those creatures had been.

"Thanks for everything, King Kai," Goku said.

"Yeah, thanks so fuckin’ much," Vegeta glared at Goku.

The periscopes emerged from the ground once again, announcing "Time for tubby bye-bye, time for tubby bye-bye…" The teletubbies laughed and ran away, making out in the bushes, grabbing and groping each other. Making out like the bunnies. It was a teletubby orgy. King Kai reprimanded them, "Noooo…come back here." Clearly, King Kai was going to have his hands full getting them back in their building, so Goku took the opportunity to teleport himself, Vegeta and the barrel of tubby custard home.

The sun beamed happily, then gave a sleepy yawn.

~~~

As the sun sinks in the sky, teletubbies say goodbye.
- 1
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Lost In Teletubby Land