I Surrender

Title: I Surrender

Author: judgewac

Rating: PG-13, maybe borderline R

Warnings: Yaoi (That’s boy and boy relationships), Sappy, some OCness, and lime. Some spoilers of the show, but not much. If you have not read the manga, seen the show, or have read the fic then you might not know what is going on.

Pairings: 2+1

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters or the show. I also don’t own the song
I Surrender either. I am poor and don’t have any money. So please don’t sue.

Archived: geocites.com/crystalfic, fanfiction.net, on the yahoo group 1x2ml, and adult-fanfiction.org.

Status: Un-beta-ed

Notes: This is sappy, but what can I say, I am a major sap. This is from Duo’s POV and For the flashback the POV is not Duo’s, though. You can’t really tell what Heero is thinking, which makes him look less guarded and not like the emotionless type that some of the show and mangas show. Duo is sappier and more serious in this, than he is also sometimes shown to be. The characters are portrayed the way I think they would act if they ever fell in love during this time and either though the show or the mangas, if this plot and situation happened. Also this is what I think they might be like in really life, if also faced with this situation. There is so much to all the Gundam Wing characters that we know and lots that we either don’t know or can see in the characters from watching and reading about them.

The song is sung by Celine Dion and is called I Surrender. I was listening to the song when I came up with the idea for the fic. The words and the music inspired it, so if you can listen to the song or even listen to it when you are reading this fic because it enhances the story. I have included some of the lyrics in the story, but I tried to change them around to fit the story. Thanks and enjoy.


Feedback is appreciated. Please, do send.
[]-lyrics, ~flashbacks~, ‘thoughts’

I saw this movie one time, but no matter how hard I try I can’t remember what it’s called.[1] But there is something one characters says that sticks in my mind; “Get busy living or get busy dieing.” I want to live…

[There\'s so much life
I\'ve left to live
And this fire\'s burning still]

~“What are your dreams Heero?” asked Duo in a whisper, breaking the silence between the beds in the darkened room. “I mean, like, what do you want to do? What are your goals?”

Duo waits for an answer to come through the darkness. Heero sits up on his bed and tries to think of how he wants to answer. They had become very close in the short time they have known each other. They had told each other about their pasts during the nights they didn’t have any missions in their shared room. They comforted each other after their frequent nightmares, but they have never once talked about the future. At least, until now.

After several minutes of silence Duo pushed the covers away from his body and sat up on the side of the bed to face Heero’s outline. “You must have dreams Heero. Come on tell me. I promise I won’t laugh.”

Heero sat there and stared at Duo in the dark, trying to find the right way to say what he wanted to say.

[When I watch you look at me]

“I have many dreams, Duo. I want the war to end so I can stop fighting. I want to stop killing people. I want to live and not die. I want…” Heero pause in the middle of what he was saying and continued in a whisper, with his face to the floor, “I want you to love me.”

Duo wasn’t sure if he had heard Heero right. He didn’t know if he should ask or not, but he did anyway. “Did you just say...uhm..that you want me to love you?”

“Yes.” Said Heero in a louder tone, but with his face still bent towards the floor.

Duo stood up and quickly closed the distance between Heero and himself. He wanted to be able to see the Wing pilot. He quickly sat next to Heero. Taking his face in his hands, he turned it so he could look into Heero’s cobalt eyes. “I do love you, Heero. I have loved you for a long time.” With that Duo gave Heero a simple loving kiss that spoke his feelings so that the Japanese soldier wouldn’t doubt what he was telling him.

After the kiss, Duo laid down with Heero on his bed, wrapped in a loose embrace. Duo had one arm wrapped around Heero’s waist, while his other hand was stroking Heero’s hair. Heero had his head against Duo’s chest and both arms wrapped around Duo’s waist. They were silent for a long time, just basking in each other’s warmth.

“I want to make your dreams come true, Heero. I will find a way to stand and fight for them...I promise you that,” Duo whispered interrupting the silence.

Heero didn’t respond. He was content enough to listen to Duo’s voice and just nod his head in agreement.

[I think I could find a way
To stand for every dream
And forsake this solid ground]

“What about the others…and the professors?” Heero calmly asked before they fell asleep in each other’s embrace, “What will they think?”

“I am sure the others will be ok with it, but screw the rest of them. Screw the professors. Screw oz. And everyone else…All I care about is you. I’m not going to live in fear anymore and I’m going to make sure your dreams come true…For the both of us.”

[And give up this fear within
Of what would happen if they end, you
I\'m in love with you]

They spent the rest of the night in each other’s arms. The nightmares never came that night.~


I want to live for love and for Heero. I knew I would give everything I am to live, for him to live. I wanted to have a life with Heero and I would do anything in my power to have that.

[\'Cause I\'d surrender everything
To feel the chance, to live again]

The day after I promised to make Heero’s dreams come true we had to leave for our new missions. We had to go our separate ways and haven’t seen each other since. I always send my heart and my love out to Heero everyday, as a way of keeping in touch with him. I know he does the same to me. I feel I can reach him from anywhere with my love, and that with our love we can make it though this war.

[I reach to you
I know you can feel it too
We\'d make it through]

Sometimes before I go on a mission I think about his dreams…our dreams. They are the same now, because I love him. I always think about that magical night I asked Heero about his dreams and how I made them mine. I still can’t believe he trusted me enough to tell me them. Now I have a new dream, a dream of a day when I will hold him in my arms forever and never go.

[A thousand dreams I still believe
I\'d make you give them all to me
I\'d hold you in my arms and never let go]

I have just finished a very dangerous mission. I am out here in the woods, just a few feet away from my hidden Deathsythe. I think back on the mission and realize just how close I came to death. I realize I can’t live without Heero; he completes me. I can’t survive without him another night. He’s the only reason I go on living. I want to surrender my feelings and myself to him forever. I don’t want to go on living a lie and hiding my emotions from everyone so I can continue my missions without an enemy exploiting them.

[I surrender
I know I can\'t survive another night away from you
You\'re the reason I go on
And now I need to live the truth]

I ran…I ran through the woods to the nearest shuttle port, leaving behind my fear, my doubt, and my Deathsythe. I didn’t want to think about the war that was going on around me. I just wanted Heero. I didn’t know exactly where he was, but I knew I could find him if I followed my heart and used my hacking skills. I used my laptop to search for him. As I looked I kept thinking how I didn’t want to live in fear anymore, fear that either of us were going to die and fear of the future. I was going to live for love and I know nobody was going to take that away from me. Not anyone, not fear itself.

[Right now, there\'s no better time
From this fear, I will break free
And I\'ll live again with love
And know they can\'t take that away from me]

I found Heero. He was on the Earth. I hopped on the soonest shuttle that would take me to the small town where I thought he was. I looked for him everywhere, but there wasn’t a trace of him. ‘As soon as I find you Heero, we’ll break away from our fears.’ I thought, hoping Heero might hear it. I knew I would give up everything to live again. In order to live for love, the only thing that has made me want to live through this war. I know Heero feels the same too. I send out my heart as a promise that I will find him. Somehow, I know he can feel me coming and that we will make it through this war together instead of apart.

[And they will see... yeah (I\'d surrender everything)
To feel the chance, to live again
I reach to you
I know you can feel it too
We\'d make it through]

‘I still believe in our dreams, Heero. You’ve given them all to me and I will make them come true like I promised…I can’t wait to hold you in my arms again, but this time I will never let you go. I am surrendering everything I have to you.’ I hoped he could feel all the promises I am making to him. I hoped I could find him. I have searched the entire town. Now I have to go back to looking through my laptop for any clues that would lead me to my love.

[A thousand dreams I still believe
I\'ll make you give them all to me
I\'ll hold you in my arms and never let go
I surrender]

I have searched for two days and every night gets longer as I search for him. But a voice in my heart is getting stronger and tells me I am going to find him. That I am getting closer and closer to finding him. I may not have the same mask I wore before, the one that protected me from everything that was going on around me. But at least I will have love and it will be protection enough. I will have a reason to live and to fight.

[Every night gets longer
And this voice\'s getting stronger baby
I\'ll swallow my pride
And I\'ll be alive]

I can’t believe it; I found him. I see him walking in a park near a safe house. I call his name, but he doesn’t seem to hear me at first. The second time he turns around, and I get a view of his beautiful face. That is when I knew I had done the right thing in surrendering to him.

[Can\'t you hear my call?
I surrender all... (I\'ll surrender everything)
(To feel the chance, to live again)]

I run to him and his arms are open, prepared to wrap me in a warm embrace. We are finally together, and my heart feels like it could fly. I know he feels it too, because as I look at his face I can see his tears through my own. It’s now that I know we are going to make it through, to the end.

[I reach to you
I know you can feel it too
We\'ll make it through]

“I still believe in your dreams, Heero…You gave them all to me, and I will always keep my promise to you…I will make them come true, for the both of us.” I declared all the feelings and thoughts I had been having. I sealed my promise with a passionate kiss. I poured my feelings over the past months of being away from him. But I had yet another promise to make to him. I pulled myself away from the kiss and said, “I am going to hold you in my arms forever, love. And I am never going to let go…I surrender everything to you right here, right now…I’d give my life to live and will break away from everyone who tries to hold us back all because of your love. I promise you that…Take my love and my promise…Take everything I give to you. I surrender all to you, Heero…Right now and forever.” I sealed my new promise with a more passionate and longer kiss than the first, holding him close as we made love with our mouths.

When we break away we are both out of breath. I looked at Heero. He had a smile on his face. I have never seen him smile like that before and it makes me smile just to see him so happy. “Of course, I will take your promise and what comes with it, baka …Ai Shiteru.” Heero kisses me and I know he will do the same, and surrender everything that he is to me.

[A thousand dreams I still believe
I\'ll make you give them all to me
I\'ll hold you in my arms and never let go
I surrender
Right here, right now
I\'d give my life to live again
I\'ll break free
Take me, my everything
I surrender all to you (Right now)
Right now (I\'d give my life to live again)
I\'d give my life (I\'ll break free, Take me)
Take me, take me (my everything)
My everything (I surrender all to you, right now)
Right now (I\'d give my life to live again)
I\'d give my life to you baby
I\'ll break free, yeah free]

End
[1] This quote is from the movie The Shawshank Redemption. I love this movie and this is the best quote out of the film.
So what did you think. Yeah, I know. I am such a sap. I can’t help it I love happy endings. Please review.