Never Kissed Part I

DiScLaImEr: Gundam Wing (and all the many other Gundam Something characters out there) do NOT belong to me. They belong to people like Sotsu Agency and Sunrise and Bandai and all the other companies in the world who own a piece of the GW pie. I only like to borrow them and make them act out weird and very risque stories for my own twisted amusement, and perhaps the amusement of others. The only thing here I own is the storyline, which is pretty sad. GUNDAM WING IS NOT MINE.

WaRnInG: Let\'s see... this story contains coarse language--as you may be able to tell from the first line--homosexual relationships between luscious boy toys, not to mention graphic sex scenes between luscious boy toys, and general silliness and stupidity. And what the hell, I may even throw in some bloody violence and drug abuse. I\'ll think about it. Now read on, if you don\'t have anything better to do, my perverted kin.

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\"Never Kissed\"
chapter I: The Rules


\"Ah.... ouch. Ehhh..... AUGHHHH! THAT HURTS, GODAMMIT!!\" I felt a bolt of agony race up my body to my head where it informed my brain how fucking EXCRUCIATING my leg felt right then. And then again and again. I tugged on my bangs and whined, feeling another one lance up as my shortened pants leg was shoved up around my upper thigh, effectively lodging a wedgie deeply into my ass. I lifted my head and glared. \"You insensitive PRICK. There is NO excuse for that.\"

Hiiro shook his head, not showing how sadistically amused he really was. \"If you had offered to take care of this yourself, Duo...\"

\"What? It\'s a little gash. It would heal on its own, it doesn\'t need to be patched up. And anyway, cutting up my clothes and wedgie-fying me won\'t help it.\"

He picked up the injured leg and tossed it over his right shoulder so that my shin was dangling down his back. I watched him, dramatically exclaiming oohs and ahs of pain whenever he pressed too hard on the flesh. I suppose it was more than a little gash, actually. A little. It had been bleeding a lot. And it was dirty. And I couldn\'t sit up to clean it. And no one had administered me any drugs.

So I watched him, blanking out the pain, watched his slender little fingers, smaller than mine actually, as they began to wrap gauze tightly around the now clean and dry wound. Then that got boring, and my eyes drifted up his arm to his hair, to his cheek which was leaning against my bare knee, which kind of tickled, and I sat there leaning back watching him thinking rather inappropriate thoughts at such a time. Well really at any time they were inappropriate. I didn\'t care. Hiiro seemed to mind sometimes but I didn\'t.

Then he was done and deftly (with lots or practice I\'m sure) he clipped the end and tucked it efficiently under the other folds. He smoothed it then, running rough palms up and down my thigh, which in my mind right then was pure evil, EVIL, and sadistic, to do such a thing to a hormonal young lonely teenager like myself. Fuck it, let\'s admit it, I was horny. So Hiiro was a guy, and I was also a guy... As a person, I am very open-minded, and as a person, Hiiro was very scrumptious.

So anyway, that was when he looked up at me, patting my leg, and I guess I was looking all wide-eyed and vulnerable, or something, with my dirty uniform, my scratched and bruised face, disheveled hair, long bangs in my eyes... So for that I figure Hiiro must blame ME, if he blames anyone, and that was that.

We had sex, in case you\'re wondering. Hehe, Hiiro was soooo a virgin. Not that I\'m making fun. In that respect, so was I. But it wasn\'t some wonderful, heated, unforgettable night filled with passion and sweaty love making. Well there was some of that, but mostly it was awkward, bumpy sex, pure and simple. And it was very short. No one lasts long when they\'ve been waiting that long, lusting after their partner. And no one lasts that long if they\'ve been celibate for fifteen years, either.

That\'s ok, we made up for it the second time. The third one too.

So that is how it started. That was the first time. The next morning, lying next to his sleeping form (I hadn\'t gotten a wink), I remember feeling as if something... close to magical had happened. Maybe it was because I had taken his virginity, or maybe it was because I thought I had penetrated (no pun intended) this hard shell around him and taken out all the gooey bits and rearranged them like refrigerator magnets. Took a perfectly legible REMEMBER TO BUY CHEESE MILK AND BDAY CARD 4 CARLA and turned it into MMERA TYT ALLMUESNY4 RALHCOHH MET. Fucked him up, courtesy of Duo Maxwell. In a good way. In a way so that maybe he wouldn\'t threaten to end my life as much, in a way so that he\'d look at me with something other than a blank stare or thinly veiled contempt.

Maybe because he was so beautiful... because he was. I remember lying there with him next to me, not quite in my arms but slumping against me, head lolled back and mouth open. I turned and looked at him carefully after listening to his breathing pattern to make sure he was asleep. And he was so lovely that I had to look away. He had beautiful eyes, in sleep and awake, and I looked at his long dark brown lashes and the way they curved up sharply. They were longer than mine. His face was delicate, except for that strong nose, and his strong chin. He had soft little lips. Kissable lips. And his hair was everywhere. It stuck up in all directions. I turned on my side and smoothed it down, knowing it would wake him. It did, but he didn\'t open his eyes. The light in the room was still soft and grey, and I forced myself to look at his face again while my hand traveled to his collarbone and chest, brushing his little brown nipples with my knuckles. Finally his lids raised lazily, and the blue-blue of his eyes confronted me, making me feel guilty. I froze, looking into that deep cobalt color, afraid. Oh yes, I was afraid. I\'ve always been afraid of Hiiro.

He reached up and covered the hand of mine that lay on his chest. I felt my heart swell and my throat close for some odd reason. Feeling my stomach flutter I recall wondering if he was going to break the silence by shocking me with something like, \"I love you Duo.\" Those chilling dark eyes regarded me for a moment, thoughtfully.

His hand tightened around mine and then he began to pull it, sliding it down over his flat hard stomach until my hand reached him there, and I felt him. He lifted one forked eyebrow.

\"Do you want me again?\"

I blinked, understanding, the pressure in my throat alleviating and my stomach calming down. I didn\'t know what had come over me.

I nodded. I did want him. So I took him again. I leaned over him and made it last, longer than the night before, longer than I had ever lasted. I made it last for hours. My leg was killing me but Hiiro made me forget.

I smile to myself nervously now, remembering the childish ideas in my head. I was just emotional or something. Because he was so beautiful. I understand now what he means by relieving stress, by finding release in sex. I agree. Most calming thing for MY nerves, dammit.

It\'s dark in here, in this little room we share, much like the one where we had first coupled. It\'s raining outside and I\'ve been thinking about other things enough, and so now I naturally let my thoughts turn to Hiiro. We\'ve been carrying on this ritual of ours for months, not counting the war\'s little interruptions that keep us apart, and I\'ve not grown tired of him. I can\'t ever grow tired of his body. Even now I lustily anticipate his return, thinking of things to do to his naughty parts.

A few minutes later he came in, entering so quietly had I not been listening for him I would never have heard him. Once inside he let himself make more noise, shifting around without turning on the light, even though he knew I was awake since I wouldn\'t go to sleep until he did. I lost him in the darkness for a while, and then the bathroom light clicked on far to my left. I watched his silhouetted figure enter it, listened to the hiss of water as he turned on the shower faucet. I sighed and wished I could join him. But I\'d better not. There\'s very limited water and he probably has less than ten minutes to clean himself. So I waited, hating myself for wanting him so much.

I dozed while he showered, then snapped back to alertness when I heard the water stop. The pulling back of the curtains. The dripping sound as he stood on the bathmat-less tiled floor, then the reaching for the little square bath towels. I listened to him dry his hair and then heard the flop as he threw it back on the rack. He exited. The light clicked off and I was bathed in utter darkness again, eyes unadjusted.

So I closed them and went back to relying on my ears, silently narrating his every move in my mind. He padded across the carpet quietly, stopping in between our beds. I held my breath, waiting.... wondering if he would come to my bed tonight. Sometimes he didn\'t. \'Let him come to me,\' I thought. I bit my lip as I realized that he\'s always the one to come to me, and never vice versa. Well if it comes to it, tonight will be the first time.

No need for that. He finally decided and walked to my little bed, resting his knee on the mattress hesitantly, as if waiting for permission. I didn\'t move and I didn\'t say anything, so eventually he climbed under the covers with me. I moved for him to make room happily. Well who wouldn\'t be, with a wet, warm, naked Hiiro Yui in bed with them?

Hiiro wasted no time, reaching for me and stripping me from under the blankets, all somehow with the utmost gracefulness. I felt like I\'d waited for him a year, moving against him with nothing to inhibit the pure nude friction between us. His lips covered me and his hands roamed over me; I welcomed his sudden dominant personality with the appropriate sounds and grunts.

As he flipped me over onto my back and spread my legs I thought to myself how all my sexual plotting had been for nothing. When Hiiro gets aggressive, there\'s not a thing I can do. He slipped his hands behind the backs of my knees and shoved my legs up high into the air. He wanted it rough tonight. That\'s fine, as long as he remembered to... Ah shit, I don\'t think so!

In the position I was in, it was easy to snap my ankle around and clip him under the jaw before he could push himself in. He dropped his arms, surprised, the dim outline of his face in the darkness illuminated inches above me.

\"Unh unh, you horny little bastard. Haven\'t you ever heard the phrase \'A little dab\'ll do ya?\'\" I opened my legs and lowered them until they were resting on his hips, and pulled myself back. \"I do not believe in that S&M garbage, or whatever it\'s called.\"

He became quiet. I didn\'t move, and he didn\'t make a sound, so I broke the silence again.

\"Well? You got anything?\"

He sniffed. \"Nothing. Do you?\"

I shook my head, then realized dumbly he couldn\'t see me. \"No. What about soap?\"

\"No water to lather it up with.\" He paused, hesitant. I knew just what he was going to say. \"Uhh... Can\'t we... you know... use saliva?\" Saliva. Who calls it saliva, really?

\"You\'re off it. I don\'t know what you\'ve seen in videos but that shit hurts like hell. You might as well use nothing. You know that better than I do, Hiiro.\"

\"Yeah.\" So we had reached an impasse... An impasse? I think that\'s what it\'s called. Anyway, we were stuck. And my body was humming. I wasn\'t going without it tonight.

\"We can do other things, baby.\" I call him baby \'cause it annoys the crap out of him.

\"Don\'t call me that.\" See? \"I know we can do other things. But I don\'t want to.... I want to fuck.\" Brutal word, fuck. Especially coming from him. But he was right. I wanted to fuck too.

I made a suggestive noise and sat in his lap. Pretty comfortable, considering we were both naked. I rubbed his back. \"Don\'t look like that\'s gonna happen, sweetie poopie pie.\" Ewwww. Even I was disgusted.

Roughly he took me and pushed me down again. I sighed. Obstinate bastard. He tries it again and I\'ll dislocate something.

Instead he leaned far over me, until his long bangs drooped in my face. \"Oh? I\'ve got an idea.\"

He repositioned himself until his head was above my crotch. I listened to him, knowing what he was going to do, at least to some extent, and eagerly anticipating the imminent pleasure sure to take place. A rare treat too. Hiiro hardly ever gives head.

God, but nothing could have prepared me for it. For one thing, Hiiro had never done it like this before. He\'s usually fast and impatient and pretty sloppy. Not that I ever really minded. Like I said, it was a rare treat.

But it was very different this time. For one thing, he spent the whole of two minutes studying me, hovering over me, breathing on me. That doesn\'t sound like much but it was, in fact, very erotic. He didn\'t blow, just breathed on my sensitive places. I was starting to ache very badly, almost painfully, when he put his hand on me. Just that little bit of contact after making me ache was almost enough to set me off, but my skin just prickled and I kept it at bay. I was silently amazed how he\'d done that, but decided to concentrate on his ministrations instead. Like I had a choice.

He grasped me gently, holding it like someone would hold any other household cylindrical object. He scraped his thumb across the soft skin, down, then up again. More of this. It felt quite good.

Eventually he started using two hands, moving them in ways with techniques I had never thought of before. There was one where he twisted them around while moving up and down at the same time. And another... well, I know I\'m making this sound like I\'m making observations from a very objective point of view, but that\'s not true. I\'ll be honest. I don\'t remember much of what he did because I was goo. But I think this is how it went.

Finally he graduated to using his mouth. By this point I had forgotten that anything besides rough, skilled hands existed, so I was very surprised to feel something new, something wet. And hot.

It was like I had never felt someone\'s mouth on me before. It was as if all the times he opted for letting me fuck him instead of giving me head, all the times he had gone down on me with passion but inexperience, was all to build up to THIS, to give me an experience I had never had before, and one that I thought I could never get from him. It felt so fucking good. I was past the point of having to say my abc\'s backwards in my head to keep from coming; it felt so good I couldn\'t come. I can\'t recall well enough to tell you exactly what he did, but at one point or another, he must have done everything. All the way down. All the way up. All the way. Hiiro can\'t brush his tongue without gagging, yet he can apparently swallow me whole. He hummed. When he did that I almost lost it. My mind that is. I was beyond climaxing, remember?

I found out later I felt like I couldn\'t come because he was holding me in a special place. Of course I had no idea at the time. I was barely aware of anything, but I vaguely remember moaning incoherently, and nearly pulling his hair out. Also, rocking my hips violently to meet him every time he came down. I also remember he was moaning at least some of the time. That\'s a real turn-on. I mean, think about it.

Either minutes or hours later, he slowed down and let go. Right away I knew I was about to explode. I regained a little clarity and pushed him away suddenly, panting raggedly.

\"Stop...\" I choked out shakily. \"Stop...\"

I felt him looking at me in the darkness. \"Why?\"

\"Why?\" I was surprised. \"Why, you always want me to stop... I mean, I know you don\'t like to... you know, get that in your mouth and stuff...\" Why? Why was he making me explain this, is what I wanted to know.

\"Come here. I don\'t mind,\" he purred as he started to go down on me again. \"I want to taste you...\"

Jesus, just hearing him SAY something like that was probably mostly what made me go off. He hadn\'t even gotten his tongue wrapped around me when it overtook me, and I cried out when I went off, as I experienced the absolute best and most cataclysmic orgasm of my entire life.

Up until that point, anyway.

I was pretty much gone after that, as you can imagine. I felt absolutely exhausted -- completely relaxed and peaceful and ready to drift away... then I felt Hiiro\'s fingers not so gently making their way into me, and I thought for a moment that that had been Hiiro\'s angle: to make me come so hard that I was too drained to fight him. But then I realized his fingers were very slick and wet and warm. I got it then. If it hadn\'t been for the mind-blowing climax I had received a few minutes earlier, I might have been turned on by such a thing. But right then I was only an observer, with that objective point of view I told you about while ago.

He groaned as he slipped into me, a sound and sensation that almost got my engine turned over. \"Duo...\" Hiiro whispered huskily. He was pumping in and out by then and somehow I found the energy to hold onto his arms and rock myself against him. Harder then, and I thought how sexy it would be to watch him. I imagined his eyes squeezed shut and his mouth open, face twisted into an expression of pleasure. My hands roamed from his arms and across his chest, touching his nipples, kneading them and pinching them hard enough to hurt. He moaned in response, grunting in between thrusts. Every time I heard his low and wonderful voice I felt a stirring in my own body. I always told him he was too quiet in bed. He usually never made a sound. He was now though, and I realized it wasn\'t a coincidence.

I clenched hard around him down there, something I knew he liked, and squeezed his nipples again, hard. He whimpered, a delicious noise. I moaned and didn\'t let up on his sensitive chest.

\"Louder,\" I whispered, and pushed him back until I was sitting on him. \"Louder,\" I said it again as I rode him, as hard and fast as he had been. He was breathing hard but seemed too far gone to hear me, so I slowed down. He made a sound of protest and I sped up, then again slowed down. \"I said, louder,\" I murmured forcefully, hardly moving on him at all. He moaned unhappily and I heightened the pace again, and kept it going with each noise he made. He was finally getting the idea.

I felt helpless as my arousal took over again, clouding my thoughts and making it hard to keep my eyes open and clear. I wanted to listen to him carefully, to enjoy it soberly, but it felt too good. I hadn\'t had him inside me for a long time, and he was being wonderfully noisy, so every ounce of conscious effort I could give was spent on keeping up the rhythm I had promised. I felt his rough fingers digging into the skin on my hips hard as he held on desperately, knowing the control was out of his hands. And I knew he wouldn\'t go much longer like this. The masculine dominance I had seen earlier was not out of the picture. He would not stay on bottom for long.

I was right. Moments later I had been flipped again, and impatiently picked up and rolled over onto my hands and knees. Ah. Everyone\'s favorite position. He was back inside in no time and going at it like there had been no interruption. I braced myself with my elbows and kept my head in the pillow, concentrating on nothing but the physical. Hiiro was a good lover, and through all the practice we\'ve had he was also a knowledgeable lover, but above all, he was a long lover. He could go for hours, which wasn\'t always a good thing. Now it was. I wanted it to last forever. As I felt my sanity slip a little more with each thrust, I thought passionately how this was what it was all about; it was all I wanted, him. I wanted him completely. And I had him.

But I lost him every time he pulled out, collapsing on me in sexual exhaustion. He had climaxed hard, I had felt and heard his strangled cry of release, and now was resting on me in a heap of sweaty post-orgasm flesh. His breathing roared harshly in my ear, his heart beat hard against my back, and I felt so bad. Not used, exactly, that would come later. Just bad.

At length, he rolled over, reached for me, and finished me by jerking me off. Pretty thoughtful of him really. He doesn\'t always remember to do that. I clutched him when I came, holding onto his shoulders desperately, my face buried in his neck. As my pleasure faded and floated away and right before I had my mind back, I did something I had never done before, and never would have if I had been sane.

I kissed him.

I guess that doesn\'t sound so bad now does it. Well, that\'s my fault, as the narrator, for not informing you about... the rules (bum bum BUMMM). See, when we started this thing, Hiiro and I both laid down some guidelines for ourselves to follow, to prevent emotional attachment and such things. Funny, it was me who made most of the rules, including the no-kissing ordinance. It\'s mainly to do with the whole everyone-who\'s-ever-gotten-close-to-me-dying thing and all. First of all, sex is a secret. Don\'t want anybody getting the wrong ideas. Also, no pulling any jealous over-protective stunts on each other (Hiiro\'s, since he is forever being stalked by Relena, and for me, since I am as anyone will tell you, quite the charmer). No sentimental stuff like roses or unexpected gifts, unless of course the gift is rubber and battery operated or strawberry flavored lube gel (which we certainly could\'ve used tonight). And the number one rule is: do NOT kiss each other!

So by the time I pulled my slobbery mouth off his, not to mention a slobbery tongue, I had realized my foolishness. Mortified, I wanted to bury my head in the sheets and die. My heart was going a mile a minute and my breathing hard to get control of. I forced myself to look at him though, lips pressed firmly together, lest they should get other ideas.

I felt so stupid, especially since it was completely dark and I couldn\'t see him. He hadn\'t moved since I had laid one on him, and he wasn\'t saying anything either. I opened my mouth to blurt out some lame excuse, then shut it again--I didn\'t have one. Besides, I figured it would be wise to keep my mouth to myself right then.

Why did I do it? That was the question running through my mind. Sure I\'ve thought about kissing him, lots of times I have, but I would never do it! What was so different about tonight that I couldn\'t let the opportunity slide by? WHY did I kiss him?

To make matters worse, it hadn\'t even been a good kiss. It had been hard and sloppy, completely without warning, even to myself. And of course I didn\'t get kissed back, either, so all in all, it was a horrible kiss.

One of my legs was still entwined in his, but I was too scared to move it. Aside from that we weren\'t touching, and he was being so quiet I could hardly hear his breathing. Was he mad? Surprised? Thinking about the lecture he was about to give me?

\"Hiiro, I\'m sorry,\" I finally said, laughing skittishly. \"Boy, I don\'t know where THAT came from. I guess... heat of passion and all that shit, whatever it is they say.\" I wonder how my voice sounded to him, \'cause to me it sure sounded like bullshit.

I heard quiet rustling, as if he was looking for something in the sheets to my left, and then a harsh light clicked on. Reflexively I closed my eyes tight and brought a hand to my face, my eyes had already become so used to the dark. Eventually I could crack them open a little to look at him. Of course his eyes were fine, dark, normal, completely adjusted. I don\'t think anyone could do something to Hiiro where he would have to look like an ass, doing something so human as squinting your eyes when the lights go on.

For some reason I felt twice as naked with the lights on. Especially since I was still wet and sticky and getting cold. But Hiiro was naked too, so that was all right. He was staring at me, my face, so I took a moment to let my gaze drop and look him over, head to toe. He wasn\'t in the least self-conscious, but then he had no right to be, really. His body was, by most people\'s standards at least I\'m sure, perfect. It was by my standards too.

\"Duo.\" I started to scrape lint off the cheap sheets. I could see him tense impatiently out of the corner of my eye. \"Duo. Look at me.\"

He made me look at him by grabbing my chin and forcing me to look up, not ungently. \"Why do you look so scared? It\'s only a rule.\" He brushed sweat-stuck hair away from my face tenderly, so tenderly I began to feel that curious pain in my abdomen, and that closing in my throat. I had only felt it a few times... but it was happening more often. I know what you think they are, but I\'m pretty sure you\'re wrong. Anyone would react this way after having Hiiro touch them. Do you have any idea how beautiful he is?

\"Just don\'t do it again, all right?\" His voice never lost that silky tone. I nodded contritely, staring straight in his face. His eyes were dark and soft and I felt that painful fluttering tenfold. He dragged his thumb across my lower lip, stopping to let it rest against my teeth. Automatically I closed my eyes and pulled it inside to the first knuckle, suckling on it gently, tasting his salty skin. I heard him sigh heavily, as if he just had to concede to something he didn\'t want to, and then that feathery voice again.

\"You\'re so beautiful when you\'re frightened like this.\" He sighed again. \"It\'s awful that you\'re so much lovelier when you\'re afraid... and that I like it so much.\" He pulled his hand away and wrapped his arms around me, soft lips leaving burning kisses on my neck. One hand traveled down, sliding across one of my cheeks and then gripping it hard, his lust evident against my thigh. I could only lie there, gaping, wondering how in the hell he could be so amorous again after no time at all.

When we were... when HE was done, rather, he sat up, patted my head, turned off the lamp, and got up in the darkness to make his way to his own bed. I was both sad and relieved to see him leave. These were the times, after he left my bed, that at least the pain stopped.

But then, it always seemed like a whole new pain would start.