Addicted to You

A/N: This story is very long and meandering. I don’t own Gundam Wing, it belongs to Sunrise and Bandai, but I do love to play with the characters. This story is totally A/U so don’t expect much of anything except the names to be the same. Feel free to Review and let me know how much you loved/hated the story. Happy readings…

Addicted to You

CHAPTER ONE

He was drunk. Undeniably. Luckily, his best friend turned lover, Trowa, had been there to help him inside. Trowa just shook his head. This was happening more and more often lately. Quatre would get depressed and go off to get drunk before stumbling home at an un-godly hour. But Trowa was always there, waiting for him, to help him inside and help him get into bed before going to sleep himself. Quatre had even come in one time at four in the morning after a really exhausting day to find Trowa sitting on the couch half asleep but still determined to wait up for Quatre. Luckily Quatre hadn’t gotten drunk that night and had been able to get to bed on his own.

“You have to stop doing this Quatre,” Said Trowa getting a grip around his waist. “You’re killing yourself.”

“Really?” Quatre could barely manage to talk. He was really drunk tonight, more so than usual. Suddenly he seemed to realize he was being held onto. “Where am I?” he asked, pulling out of Trowa’s grip. “Who are you and how do you know my name?”

Trowa sighed. He started to move toward Quatre, but Quatre backed up. “I’m warning you. I may look helpless but I know how to protect myself.”

The imagined threat helped Quatre clear his mind a bit but he could still barely see and his mouth refused to work right.

Just as Trowa was wondering what to do, Quatre collapsed to the ground. Fearing for the worst Trowa ran to him and checked his vital signs. He was breathing normally if a bit shallow and his heartbeat was steady if a little weak. Exhaustion combined with too much alcohol had finally overloaded Quatre and he had passed out. Trowa took Quatre upstairs to the bathroom and set him on the floor. He stripped Quatre down to his boxers and put him on the shower floor. He turned on the shower making sure the water was cold but not too cold and sat down on the counter. A few seconds later he heard Quatre sputtering.

Quatre felt the cold water pouring on him and woke up. He was still really woozy but knew that he must be at home; Trowa must have put him in the shower. He reached up and struggled with the knobs.

Trowa heard Quatre shut off the water. A couple seconds later the shower curtain was pulled back and Quatre stood there sopping wet in his boxers. He tried to step out of the shower but tripped and fell heavily. Trowa was at his side in an instant.

Quatre pushed him away and tried to stand up but he fell back to the floor extremely dizzy. He knew he was going to throw up but couldn’t make it to the toilet in time. He felt strong arms pick him up and force him to his knees before the toilet. After he stopped retching Trowa wiped his mouth with a cloth and helped him stand. He gently dried him with a towel and led him down the hall to his room and sat him on the bed.

Quatre could barely keep his thoughts straight but in a moment of clarity he knew that he was unable to get dressed himself. Blushing as he realized he would need Trowa’s help getting undressed. Quatre turned to see Trowa standing there looking uncertain. Quatre managed to tell Trowa that he needed help getting undressed. Trowa nodded and came over to help.

Trowa was a little embarrassed; sure they were going out but they had never gotten more intimate than kissing and some petting. Trowa had never seen Quatre totally naked; he had always kept his boxers on. He gently helped Quatre sit on the bed and take his wet boxers off. Trying to be tactful Trowa turned away whenever he could. He found another pair of boxers for Quatre and helped him get into those.

Quatre was feeling less woozy now but was still totally uninhibited due to the alcohol.

“Come on Trowa. Don’t tell me you haven’t imagined me naked before.”

Trowa looked up a bit embarrassed. “Well, yeah, but...” he trailed off. He looked at Quatre again.

“Come here baby.” Quatre instructed patting the bed. Trowa obeyed. When Trowa was seated on the bed beside him Quatre grabbed him and not-so-gently pushed him down onto the bed. The look in Trowa’s eyes was one of concern. He was afraid of what Quatre was thinking, or more correctly, not thinking, in his state of mind. Quatre lay down next to Trowa and claimed his mouth.

As he kissed Quatre all Trowa could think of was how carried away this could get. He loved Quatre, but he wasn’t sure if he was ready to get really involved intimately with him yet. Quatre was also drunk which didn’t lend any confidence to Trowa about his decision making process. As Quatre pushed past Trowa’s lips with his tongue Trowa tasted the alcohol in his mouth. Gently trying to pull away from Quatre Trowa moved away. But Quatre just moved with him. After finally breaking away from Quatre, Trowa sat up. “Quatre. You are tired, unhappy, and drunk. I know you really want this, but do you want now, like this?”

Quatre just replied in an offended voice. ”I thought you loved me Trowa.” Trowa started to respond, “I do, but...” But Quatre cut him off. “Don’t you want to show me how much you really love me?”

Trowa, unsuspecting of a trap, answered immediately, “of course.” Quatre took full advantage of the situation “Then make love to me Trowa.” Quatre commanded.

Trowa wasn’t sure he had heard Quatre right. “What?” he asked. “Yes, you heard me right. If you really love me then you’ll have sex with me.” Trowa was taken aback. He did love Quatre but was their relationship ready for this? He didn’t want to press it too soon. He didn’t know about the sober Quatre, but he wasn’t ready. “I don’t know Quatre, I don’t know if I’m ready for this. If we’re ready for this.”

Quatre sensed that Trowa wanted to please him but didn’t want to mess up their relationship. Quatre pressed him. “I’ll understand if you don’t want to,” Quatre saw the look of relief pass across Trowa’s face, “...I’ll understand that you don’t love me.” Trowa’s face fell.

“Quatre! I do love you; please believe me.” Quatre just gave him a look. “No, obviously you don’t. You say you want me, you say you love me and you never want anything from me. A few kisses here and there and maybe some petting, but I want more Trowa. I deserve more for being so hands off until now.”

“deserve? I didn’t know… You could have told me you wanted more. We could have talked.”

“No we couldn’t. I would have told you, you would have felt guilty and then just crawled back inside that little box inside you where you go when your feelings are hurt or you’re lonely or if anything is wrong you just fucking shut down.” Quatre was yelling by this point. “I couldn’t do that to you, but now I see it didn’t even matter anyway. I am saying it now. If you won’t have sex with me, you don’t love me enough to want to make this work.”

Trowa looked at Quatre and wiped away a tear. “Quatre, are you really serious?” One look at Quatre’s face told Trowa that he was and that pleading wasn’t going to get him anywhere. He made up his mind. “All right then Quatre. As much as I love you I’m not going to sacrifice my morals and what I know is right, just to prove my love to you, you’d never have asked me if you weren’t so wasted. If you truly loved me you wouldn’t make me decide what to do. I’m sorry but I’m going to have to say no.”

When Quatre heard Trowa’s answer he was mad. “How dare you say no!” he raged. “Here I thought we were in a loving relationship! But now I see how it is. You were just using me! You don’t really love me!”

“Quatre, that isn’t true!” Trowa protested but Quatre wouldn’t listen. He decided that Trowa had to pay for his deception. “How dare you say no?! I love you, and you still say no.”

Trowa foresaw things getting ugly and stood to leave but Quatre snatched his hand before he could get anywhere and yanked him back toward him. “No! Quatre, let go!” Trowa yelled and tried to pull away but Quatre got a grip on his other arm and pushed him backward onto the bed, following him and landing with him with all his weight. Trowa tried to wriggle out from beneath Quatre and almost slipped off of the bed but Quatre grabbed him again around the neck and threw him back onto the bed, knocking his head against the headboard. Holding Trowa down with one hand gripping his neck, Quatre reached over to a drawer beside his bed and pulled out some rope. He pulled Trowa’s shirt off and used the rope to tie Trowa’s hands to the bed.

As his hands were being tied to the bed Trowa was still in shock. ‘What had caused Quatre to become so violent?’ A moment later Trowa was shocked into action as Quatre stripped off Trowa’s pants. Trowa tried to slip his hands out of the bonds but by then it was too late, they were too tight. Quatre divested Trowa of his remaining clothing. He tried to straddle Trowa but Trowa twisted out of the way and tried to climb toward the headboard. Quatre grabbed Trowa’s feet and forced him back on his back. Backhanding Trowa across his mouth, and landing an elbow to his eye, and Quatre using the time when Trowa’s sense were reeling, used another piece of rope to tie his feet to the bed.

Despite all that Trowa did he found that he could not pull his feet away from Quatre’s grasp. Quatre was stronger than he looked, even intoxicated. The look in Trowa’s eyes was of pure dread as Quatre pulled off his own boxers and straddled Trowa. Trowa bit his lip to hold back a moan as Quatre wriggled back and forth on top of him, despite all that was happening, the sight of Quatre naked was breathtaking. Holding still, Quatre leaned down and kissed Trowa’s face, lips, and mouth. Quatre got off Trowa and sat beside him. Using his hands and mouth, he teased Trowa until his body was sweaty and twitching with pleasure. By this time Trowa had bit his lip so hard a small trickle of blood ran down his lip and onto his chin. Quatre roughly licked the blood off of Trowa’s face and said harshly “Come on Trowa, scream, moan, yell, I want you to.” But Trowa didn’t scream. With tears running down his cheeks all he said was, “Quatre, please, please no.” Roughly flipping Trowa over, causing the ropes to twist tighter on his hands and feet, Quatre roughly inserted a finger deep inside Trowa. Trowa tightened at the invasion and nearly screamed at the roughness but as Quatre slowly worked his finger in and out Trowa’s body relaxed. Quatre quickly inserted another finger and scissored his fingers to open him further.

Trowa tried desperately to get away, to go anywhere, but he was firmly tied in place. Suddenly the pressure was gone. Quatre had pulled his fingers out of Trowa; then the pressure returned tenfold as Quatre slid his cock into Trowa. Trowa tried to hold back his scream but the pain was too overwhelming. Arching his body as far as the ropes would allow him Trowa let out a strangled scream.

Quatre grinned as he heard Trowa’s scream. It was a feral grin of a predator, one that realized its victory over its prey. He drove himself into Trowa as hard as he could. He barely heard Trowa’s cry over his own gasp. He felt exquisite pleasure roll up and down his spine as he trembled. How good it felt. “Trowa!” he cried. Trowa shifted underneath him. Quatre smiled and thrust himself into Trowa again...and again...and again. He dug his fingernails into Trowa’s back, flexing his hands with every thrust.

By now Trowa thought he was going to pass out. He was bleeding and exhausted but Quatre continued his brutal assault. Quatre grabbed a handful of Trowa’s hair and viciously yanked Trowa’s head back towards him. “Are you enjoying this, Trowa?” Quatre gasped in his ear. All Trowa could manage was a whimper.

“Quatre.” He whispered quietly his voice laden with pain. “Why are you doing this?” Quatre just grinned savagely and thrust into Trowa again, he reached around Trowa’s body and gripped his cock and tugged on it a few times. Try as he might Trowa couldn’t get his body to obey him. He started to tremble and as much as he tried to hold still waves of pleasure started to course through him he arched his back and thrust his hips in time with Quatre’s merciless thrusts.

Quatre thrust a couple more times and then came inside Trowa with a triumphant cry. He collapsed on top of Trowa in exhaustion. Trowa wriggled trying to shake off the need inside him, the need of release. Quatre chuckled in spite of his fatigue. Flipping Trowa over onto his back again the blond pilot proceeded to arouse Trowa to the point of an orgasm. Quatre sat there for a minute letting Trowa drown in a mass of pleasure. Then he took Trowa’s whole length in his mouth and quickly took him over the edge. Trowa climaxed, his whole body writhing as waves of intense pleasure and ecstasy washed over his body.

Quatre’s feral grin was the first thing Trowa say as he came down off his high. “See Trowa; see what we have been missing? This is what real lovers do. You enjoyed yourself, I know you did.”

After Trowa came, Quatre untied his feet and hands, he knew that Trowa was too tired and in too much pain to move, much less harm him. As Quatre drifted off into sleep the last thing he heard was Trowa whispering, “I loved you Quatre; and I thought you loved me too.”

The next morning Trowa woke before Quatre. He was exhausted and hurt all over. He whimpered as he half slid, half fell out of bed to rinse off in the shower, as he washed the blood and semen off his abused body, he didn’t even think of revenge; all he wanted was to get as far away from Quatre as he could. He dressed in a long sleeve forest green shirt and long white pants, topping the outfit out with a pair of sunglasses, hissing in pain as the clothes rubbed his wrists and ankles, every little movement hurt. He started to cry as he packed a suitcase with some clothes as well as his favorite personal belongings and crept down the stairs and out the door, he let his tears escalate to sobs when he was out of the house. Luckily Wufei’s house was only a mile or two away. It was a Saturday morning so not very many cars were on the road, for which he was grateful.

He reached Wufei’s door and rang the bell. ‘Please be home.’ He thought. The door opened a crack and Wufei’s face appeared in the doorway. “What do you wa-” he stopped mid-word as he recognized Trowa. “Trowa?!” Disbelief was written across Wufei’s face. He opened the door the rest of the way and let Trowa inside.

The darkness inside the house along with Trowa’s long hair and clothes covered most of the evidence of the beating Trowa had received.

“Trowa I must admit this is a surprise. I thought you and Quatre were sharing a house.”

Trowa gently nodded “we were...” he said quietly.

“Then what happened? Why are you here?” Wufei inquired.

“Quatre and I, we had some trouble...” Trowa admitted.

“Trowa.” Wufei growled dangerously.

Trowa sighed and raised his face to the light, slowly slipping the sunglasses off. There was an ugly bruise on his left cheekbone and around his eye. Wufei gasped and turned on the lights. He gently reached up and brushed Trowa’s hair out of his face. He saw that Trowa not only had a bruised cheek but a split lip and bruise marks on his neck. His shock quickly became disbelief as he saw the damage done to Trowa.

Wufei was appalled. When he had first seen the bruise on Trowa’s cheek he had thought the boys had gotten into a fistfight; but when he saw the split lip and bruises on Trowa’s neck he reconsidered. Looking closer at Trowa’s lip he realized that there were teeth marks etched in the skin and the bruises on his neck looked like fingerprints. “What in the world happened to you?”

Trowa gritted his teeth, determined not to let the tears forming in his eyes fall. He said nothing and soon Wufei’s harsh look vanished. “Come on Trowa, please tell me. I want to help you.”

Not saying anything Trowa slowly rolled up his sleeves so his bruised and chaffed to bleeding wrists were revealed. Wufei stifled a gasp as he realized that ropes had made these marks. Sitting down on the couch and trying vainly not to wince as he felt his abused and violated body being return, Trowa slowly rolled up his pant legs to reveal the same marks on his ankles that were on his wrists.

Looking at the brutality of Trowa’s injuries Wufei abruptly realized where he had seen these marks before. These were the same marks that he had seen on that young woman in Treize’s suite. He had been on a mission to infiltrate an OZ base. Consequentially it was the same base in which Treize had been staying. Wufei had wandered into Treize’s room after accomplishing the main part of his mission. He had been momentarily appalled at what he had found. A young woman had been tied up in the corner farthest from the door in a small chest next to her had been all sorts of ugly sex toys. She had been tied with ropes and had obviously been beaten and sexually abused. Wufei had untied her and carried her home with him. The next morning she had had marks and bruises exactly like the ones Trowa had now.

Wufei remembered that the girl, whose name was Ami, had been emotionally scarred and it had taken months for her to fully trust Wufei. Wufei looked at Trowa.

“What happened Trowa?” Wufei asked in a firm but gentle voice. “I can’t help you if I don’t know what happened.”

Trowa trembled slightly. He forced himself to recall last night. He began to speak softly and hesitantly at first, gaining strength until he was speaking in a clear- if quiet- voice.

“I was up last night waiting for Quatre to come home. He had gone out to get drunk again. He came home and was so drunk that he passed out. I took him to the shower and revived him. I took him to his room and helped him get changed into dry clothes. He acted like he felt better and then started to kiss me. That was fine but then the kissing got more involved.” Trowa was talking like he was reading from a book, not telling what had happened to him.

”He asked me if... if I loved him. Then when I said I did he, told me if I really loved him then I would sleep with him.” Trowa had to force the words out of his mouth, he felt so ashamed.

“When he insisted I told him that I loved him but wouldn’t give up my morals to prove my love. He got mad. Accused me of using him. Then he tried to get me on the bed but I kept getting away so he tied my hands to the bed. Then he tried to get on top of me but I got away so he tired my feet down.” The tears that had threatened to fall now came freely down Trowa’s face.

“I couldn’t do anything. Then he proceeded to...” Trowa broke off. Wufei sat on the couch beside him.

“It’s ok Trowa; you don’t have to go on. I think I get it.” Wufei said in his gentlest voice. He hugged Trowa but Trowa pulled away.

“If you don’t mind I don’t want to be touched right now.”

“Of course,” Wufei nodded and moved away. “Come on; let’s get you settled into my spare room and then you can get some more sleep. I’ll call the police and report him.”

“NO! Wufei, please, don’t call the police.” Trowa begged.

“Trowa. Quatre raped you. He must be reported.” Wufei said.

Trowa shook his head. “Please, please don’t.” Trowa looked up at Wufei with tears in his eyes. He was panicking. “Ok Trowa, ok, I won’t call them. Calm down.”

Trowa complied and followed Wufei to the spare bedroom. Wufei set his suitcases down on the floor. “Trowa, will you at least let me put some bandages on your wrists and ankles?” Wufei asked. Trowa looked over his shoulder and nodded. He stripped off his shirt and heard Wufei gasp behind him. “Oh my god Trowa, your back.” And then a moment later; “Those are fingernail marks!” Turning Trowa saw Wufei’s look of horror and flinched and started to put his shirt back on. Wufei quickly snatched the shirt from his hands. Trowa jumped backwards away from Wufei like he had been bit. “Lay down on the bed on your stomach. I’ll get some bandages for your wrists and some antibiotic for your back.” Wufei instructed and left the room.

Trowa gingerly lay down on the bed and tried to relax. “Trowa, I’m coming in the room.” Wufei warned. “Here, I’m going to start on your back.” Trowa winced as he felt cool hands on his back, but they were gentle and soon the soothing motion helped him relax. “Ok Trowa, now your wrists.” Wufei moved up to his wrists and smoothed some antibiotic on his wrists and wrapping them in bandages. Trowa hissed as Wufei pulled them tight. “Now the ankles.” Wufei repeated the process on his ankles and then handed Trowa a couple ibuprofen and some sleeping pills along with a glass of water. “Get some sleep Trowa.” He said and pulled the door closed. Trowa nodded and curled himself around a pillow and cried.

Quatre woke, his head one massive ache. As he sat up he felt other aches, aches that had nothing to do with being drunk. He stared around him, noticing the bloody ropes on the floor and the blood on the bed. Then last night came back to him full force. He let out a strangled cry of grief and quickly stumbled out of the bedroom. He searched the whole house, but no sign of Trowa, except the missing clothes and suitcase.

Quatre stumbled upstairs and into the bedroom. He sobbed and fell onto the bed. “Trowa? What have I done? Oh lord, what have I done?”