A Dose of Morale

Title: A Dose of Morale
Pairing: Havoc/?
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Yaoi, Cross dressing, spoilers for Chapter 38+ of the manga.
Word Count: 4,368
Disclaimer: Don't own FMA/not profiting


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His days seemed to be getting longer and longer, trapped in his own body and the drab hospital room that had become his home. The smart military uniform he once wore with pride had been replaced with that of a normal patient’s- a light blue gown mostly obscured by an overly starched, white blanket. His mother was normally with him keeping him company, but that day she would not be. His father, her husband, was doing no better than himself. Old age and creeping illness had him trapped as well, and the poor woman was left splitting her time between her two most beloved men, both seemingly damaged beyond repair. It must have broken her heart; it sure as hell broke his.

The floor’s nursing staff was pleasant, checking up on him with more frequency than they usually did since he had no visitors that day. In any other situation, Jean would have been using every tactic he’d ever learned to try to get at least one of their phone numbers, but what was the point now? He couldn’t move his legs, it’s not like he had anything to offer.

He couldn’t take them dancing and he couldn’t hold them close without a mood killing display of maneuvering. He would have to struggle to not run over their shoes with his dirty wheelchair wheels and depending on the terrain, he might even, God be damned, need them to push!

He was no longer date material; he had sadly come to terms with that already.

Not like I ever was…

It had already been a few months since the… accident, he liked to call it. He didn’t know for sure how long it had been; the beginning was all a haze. The burn had caught a nasty infection and he slipped in and out of consciousness from the high temperature and the pain (the Colonel had done a real number on him, cauterizing his wounds. Of course he was eternally grateful to the man for saving his life, but he wasn’t going to deny that it hurt like a bitch). Because of that, he lost track of exactly how long he had been there. He’d have to remember to ask.

Thankfully though, in the past few days, his burns no longer bothered him and aside from the physical paralysis (not to mention the mental and emotional paralysis of being denied his nicotine fix. Damned no smoking laws, damned health!), he felt pretty good.

One of the prettier nurses entered his room to fluff his pillows with a sweet smile and he found himself wondering, despite the view, whether or not his Colonel was going to visit him that day. He had shown up a few times when his mother said she’d be away, though he didn’t know how the man knew his mother’s plans. He hadn’t told anyone that she would be absent and he knew she hadn’t told anyone, either… must have been that infuriating Mustang omniscience.

Now I know what the Boss feels like…


He always enjoyed the Colonel’s visits, though. Roy would bring inside military news that Jean was unable to get through normal civilian means, not to mention the general company of someone he flat out admired. The man had always held a special place in his heart that he was unwilling to confront. It confused him and frightened him, and he left it where it was, refusing to address it as anything more than immature hero worship.

Not even. Jealousy, more like it…


As the pretty brunette left his room, he faintly heard the sound of clicking heels down the hall and dismissed them, knowing full well no one in that attire was coming to see him. The only women he knew well enough to take the time to visit were his mother (much too old for those types of shoes) and various military coworkers (much too practical).

He reached to his bedside table and grabbed the hand grip he had been using to strengthen his hands and arms; he would need them more now for his mobility. He let his mind slip into reminisce mode while he exercised, his eyes gazing out the window, down to the bright green grass of the hospital courtyard. There were lush trees surrounded by flowerbeds and shaded benches to sit, but something caught his eye beside those benches. There were dark, cylindrical objects positioned close to them and he strained his eyes to make out what they were. Trash cans? No, the trash cans were closer to the hospital entrance. Cigarette... receptacles?

He pumped the grip harder.

Lost in his frustrated stupor, he didn’t hear the faint click of the hospital room door opening, nor did he notice the figure in bright red heels enter his room and close the door again, locking it quietly. The purposefully loud snaps of those heels against the tile as they slowly neared his bed were quite enough to jar him from his thoughts, however, and he started suddenly, whipping his head around to greet his visitor with an irritated glare for sneaking up on him.

As he turned his head, time stopped. His irritation quickly dissolved as his brain comprehended the signals his eyes were frantically hurling, his jaw went slack and the hand grip dropped to the floor in unison with Roy Mustang’s black overcoat, revealing as it fell, a tight, white, half-buttoned nurse’s jacket; white, thigh-high stockings held in place by white garter belts; gloriously devilish red heels and the shortest, tightest miniskirt Jean had ever seen in his life that left very little to the imagination.

There was a long pause, heavy and silent, as poor and paralyzed Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc struggled to process the vision before him. Laugh? Cry? Pull himself from his bed and fall face first before the man’s wonderfully heeled feet? This was Colonel Mustang for heaven’s sake, and he was in a nurse’s outfit (Complete with cap! He’s wearing a cap!) that looked to be at least three sizes too small for him.

Was that... what is that?! Does he… that bulge!

Staring slack-jawed would have to do.

While Jean’s eyes focused on the various parts of his superior officer’s body that he normally did not get to appreciate, a slightly embarrassed, yet determined-to-be-confident smirk formed on the Colonel’s face as he prepared to advance on the shell-shocked Lieutenant.

“I hear you’ve been feeling under the weather?” the dark-haired man purred before Jean as he closed in on the hospital bed, lifting a knee to climb aboard. The miniskirt was so short, it barely hindered his mobility.

Jean Havoc could have picked any number of combinations of sounds that would form an adequate response to his superior officer’s question. In any other circumstance, his dumbfounded expression and silence would have been considered an act of insubordination, but the dim, echoing voice of reason in the back of his mind told him that his commanding officer wouldn’t hold it against him, especially considering he was in the process of straddling his lap and causing that miniskirt to ride up his toned thighs to reveal what it had been struggling valiantly to hide- the evidence of a very clearly aroused male.

Jean’s mouth opened and closed in what he thought was a pretty successful attempt at communication given the circumstance and Roy swooped in for the kill, claiming the man’s confused mouth with his own while he was distracted. For a few long moments, Jean’s world flipped from upside down to sideways and back. There was a reason Roy was so popular with women and now he knew why; the man knew his way around a mouth. As Roy’s tongue turned the marksman into a Believer, he ran his palms up his victim’s chest, cupped his face for a moment and lightly scraped his fingernails through flaxen hair and over his scalp.

Jean was at a complete and utter loss. He was compliant, but inactive; a willing, yet uninvolved participant and Roy decided to take it up a notch. He ground his body into Jean’s, his erection surely prominent against the poor man’s stomach, and snaked one hand through the short hair on the back of the Lieutenant’s head, tilting his face upwards while his other hand gripped the front of the light blue hospital gown pinned between their bodies. As he pulled the man closer, he staged one last bold attack on Jean’s lower lip before withdrawing for a response, leaving the blond breathless and glazed.

Roy smirked at Jean’s half-lidded eyes and dove for his neck, devouring the sensitive flesh behind his ear, finally eliciting a whimper from the otherwise silent and shell-shocked man. Roy took that as a cue to continue and ground down into Jean’s lap with a low growl, reaching his hands around to undo the ties holding the blue hospital gown in place. At this, Jean’s brain finally clicked into gear.

What… the hell?

Pretty much all of Jean’s time in the hospital so far was spent in various levels of agony; all thoughts about whether Junior was still in business were pushed out of his mind. He didn’t even want to think about it, didn’t want to know! It was bad news, had to be! If he couldn’t move his legs, he couldn’t move his dick either, and although he wasn’t about to complain about the Colonel’s random… friskiness… he wasn’t seriously trying to take it further, was he? Jean wasn’t in the hospital for a cold!

As the gown was loosened and brought down over his shoulders, Jean scrabbled to push Roy away, his arms tangling in the cloth. Roy mistook his struggling as an enthusiastic attempt to rid himself of the garment and continued, sliding his lips and tongue down Jean’s neck, and pausing to bite at the curve of his shoulder. How the Colonel knew that that was one of Jean’s sweet spots was beyond him, but he let out a low groan and threw his head to the side.

“C-Colonel-!“ he cried out in a fruitless attempt to catch Roy’s attention. It ended up sounding like a pleased moan and Roy chuckled lowly before nipping along the front of his neck to the other side, the other shoulder, and doing the same. A firm scrap of teeth and a soothing swipe of tongue later, Jean Havoc was almost convinced. He breathed heavily through the sensations rippling over his skin and found his hands wandering over the Colonel’s scantily-clad chest, but he snapped back to his senses and gave that same chest a solid shove; way harder than he intended.

Roy toppled backwards with a yelp onto Jean’s legs, his miniskirt riding all the way up to his waist, exposing himself completely. He stared up at Jean with surprise and a bit of anger as he wiped the saliva off his mouth with the back of his hand.

“What was that for!?” he asked incredulously, leaning back on his hand with his legs still straddling Jean’s waist. His cock stood proudly, unaffected by the Lieutenant’s snubbing and completely free from its miniskirt prison. Jean’s eyes, although enjoying the view, glanced towards the door in fear, expecting one of the floor nurses to come barging in at Roy’s outburst.

“What the hell are you doing?!” he replied with a slight pant, equally incredulous but in hushed tones.

“Don’t worry, it’s locked,” Roy muttered, pulling himself back into Jean’s lap and going for his shoulder again, “and I thought it was kind of obvious…”

Jean scrabbled to get the determined man away from his sensitive spots and listen, “No! Stop!” He planted a palm on Roy’s chest again and the Colonel stilled, looking into Jean’s eyes, confused, “Just stop for a second! What- what are you-?”

“I’ve noticed the looks, Jean,” Roy interrupted with confidence, ducking his head for another go at the Lieutenant’s shoulder, “You can’t tell me that you don’t want this…”

The man in question flushed and he swallowed thickly as Roy gave a tentative lick to the curve of his shoulder before lowering his lips and sucking gently, eliciting a hesitant whimper from the uncooperative soldier.

Looks... what looks!? I never made any looks!

“I never made any looks!” Jean countered feebly, repeating his thoughts out loud.

Roy chuckled and spoke into his skin, warming it with his breath and buzzing it slightly, “Of course you did,” he ghosted his lips up the blonde’s neck, sending chills down his spine, and sucked an earlobe into his mouth, whispering, “and even if you hadn’t, you just proved your interest.”

Jean closed his eyes with a sigh and enjoyed the feeling of the man practically making love to his ear. Of course he was right, he was always right. Hero worship… jealousy… who was he trying to kid? And God, he hadn’t been touched like this in a long time. The few dates he had managed to score that actually got this far weren’t nearly as talented as this. It was just routine to them; plant a kiss here, swipe a tongue there, a heavy pet or two later and Jean was left unsatisfied, but this wasn’t routine with Roy. There was something different- purpose, sincerity, warmth. Hunger.

Damnit, no! This can’t go where he wants it! I have to stop this…

Jean ran his hands up the Colonel’s arms and squeezed them gently. “What do you want from me, Roy,” he asked quietly.

Roy stopped once more and moved back to look at Jean’s face. His eyes were closed still and he seemed sad; it was not going the way Roy had planned. He had, at worst, expected to be laughed at for showing up in heels of all things (the skirt Jean had seen before. They were very creative young boys back in the academy, doing the crazy things that young boys do to get back at their friends. It was that lost bet that Roy vowed to never let his weaknesses be known to anyone, be they superficial or not), but seeing the normally good-natured Lieutenant like this was painful.

“I… I don’t understand what you mean,” Roy asked, eyes searching the blonde’s face.

Jean opened his eyes and glanced away, staring out the window down towards the courtyard, “How far do you expect to go with a cripple?” he asked quietly after a time, glancing back to the Colonel quickly before training his eyes on the greenery below.

Roy blinked in confusion, “What does that-“

“I’m paralyzed from the waist down, Sir!” Jean interrupted, swinging a fiery and apologetic gaze into Roy’s, “I can’t… I can’t do what you want me to do!”

Roy opened his mouth to speak but then snapped it shut, blinking and staring in silence as Jean again averted his eyes. They sat in an uncomfortable silence for a moment, Roy shifting uncomfortably in the ruined man’s lap, wondering what to say next. Jean started to suggest that maybe the Colonel should just leave, but was interrupted by a soft snicker, which quickly turned into a barking laugh.

Roy Mustang, that infuriating bastard, was laughing at him! Jean stared at the man in utter disbelief, convinced that he had finally lost his mind. It sure would explain a whole hell of a lot, and he might even be able to forgive him for this if he had. Erectile dysfunction is one thing, but having your spine snapped by an alchemically created monster is another entirely!

Roy noticed the angrily confused face before him and laughed harder for a moment before waving his hand reassuringly. He eventually regained his composure, shook his head at the Lieutenant and slid down his body in one quick move. Roy threw the blanket down as he went, flipped up the hospital gown and all but swallowed the half erect cock found before him in one shot.

As Roy bobbed his head up and down Jean’s cock, the poor man gaped. In all the insanity, he hadn’t even realized that he had been responding after all. After all the fretting, the worry… the shoving! If it didn’t feel so damn amazing, he would have laughed himself.

IT WORKS!!

Jean jumped flips in his head, somersaults of unadulterated glee, while watching the infamous Colonel Mustang curl temptingly against his dead legs like a very naughty kitten, bobbing his head of signature black hair (Obscured by the nurse’s cap. Nurse’s cap!) up and down his cock. His miniskirt had bunched around his waist and his firm ass was entirely exposed, along with the lacy white garter belts that framed its sides deliciously. One of his red heels had begun to slip off his foot in all the maneuvering, but that was alright. Everything was alright as long as Roy continued doing what he was doing with his mouth where he was doing it.

Jean sighed deeply and felt his eyes close in pleasure while his hands unclipped the cap from his superior officer’s hair. As endearing as it was, he wanted to be able to run his fingers through that choppy mane. He’d always wanted to; he could admit that to himself now. Roy purred out a groan and gave the head in his mouth a few last teasing swipes with his tongue before releasing him with a wet pop and looking up at the blond above him with a self-satisfied grin. Jean had become fully erect and Roy didn’t want to bring him too close to the edge before the grand finale.

Jean looked down at him with questioning eyes, wondering why in God’s name he had traded his attentions for a smile, but Roy crawled up his body like a cat in heat and straddled his lap once again, causing both of their exposed erections to rub together purposefully. Jean groaned involuntarily at the sight and feel of it and he cupped the Colonel’s face in his hands, hungrily attacking his mouth with his own, running fingers through his hair and pulling him closer, but Roy broke away, leaning back and procuring a small vial from the breast pocket of his tight and tousled uniform.

Jean, of course, knew what it was for, but he had never actually participated in anything that… needed it. Hell, twenty minutes ago he hadn’t even admitted to himself that he even had an interest in the Colonel other than platonic admiration, how the hell could he expect him to be ready for… for that!?

“Relax,” Roy said with amusement. Jean’s fears had marched across his face like a heard of cattle; he was going to have to work on that.

While the Lieutenant scowled slightly and silently scolded himself for his obviousness, Roy uncapped the vial, poured its contents into his hand and smoothed it over Jean’s erection with a few tight pumps of his fist. There was just enough oil for one application, but it would be enough; Roy knew his limits and he was sure enough in his abilities to know that it wouldn’t last too long. Despite his womanizing reputation, he was no novice.

Jean’s eyes widened with comprehension as Roy rose on his knees, positioned himself over the slick and waiting cock and slowly slid onto it, both of them groaning as he slipped inside.

An inch or so in and then rest; Roy cradled his head on Jean’s powerful shoulder and panted, giving himself time to adjust before taking him further. May God be damned; Jean wanted to thrust so badly. He wanted to move, he wanted to move, but he couldn’t! Damn that bitch! Solaris, Lust, whatever her name was! He tried so hard, his brain sending messages to his legs that were never received, lost somewhere on the way; it frustrated him and he grunted, throwing his head back, a slight sheen of sweat forming over his brow.

Roy sunk a few inches further and Jean’s inner voice wailed. He slid his hands up the Colonel’s thighs, kneaded his ass and Roy moaned, taking the rest of him in one slow shot until all of Jean rested inside. His inner muscles instinctively flexed around the intrusion and Jean’s mouth twitched at the sensation, breathing in slow, deep breaths.

After a moment of steady breathing, Roy lifted his head and planted one hand on the wall behind the bed and the other on Jean’s shoulder for balance before moving his body upwards and down again, rocking slightly at the hilt and rubbing the underside of his cock against Jean’s belly. He leaned forward and placed a soft bite on the panting blonde’s upturned chin before raising himself again, causing Jean to lift his head and hungrily suck Roy’s lower lip into his mouth for a passionate kiss. What he couldn’t do with his hips he did with his hands, holding Roy’s waist firmly and guiding the man up and down on his own erection.

The pace steadily increased along with their breathing and whimpering; they were forced to keep quiet lest they garner the attention of the nursing staff. A locked door would only delay them for so long as they obviously had room keys, so they had to be quick and they had to be quiet, but stifling their moans only served to excite them both more with the possibility of being caught.

Roy bounced and rocked his hips, and as their need increased, he leaned back from Jean’s shoulders and planted his hands on the bed behind him to drive himself down as hard and as fast as he could. With his head thrown back and his mouth open in a moan only he could hear, Jean groaned at the sight of his Colonel’s slim body stretched backwards over his, his lean muscles flexing and contracting under his fair skin as he fucked himself with abandon. Jean slid his hands from Roy’s waist and opened the few buttons holding the too-tight nurse’s jacket in place, causing it to fall open to his roaming hands. He loved the Colonel’s tight stomach with his palms and he ran the pads of his thumbs over his nipples, eliciting delicious whimpers and gasps from the normally reserved man.

It was too much for the Lieutenant to bear. He quickly neared the end and not wanting to leave his Colonel unsatisfied for all he’d done, he let one hand leave Roy’s chest to travel down to his weeping cock. It bounced as he thrust and twitched with arousal, and although Jean had never handled another man’s erection before, he knew what to do. He wrapped his fist around it, ran his thumb along the ridge of the head and pumped it in time with the Colonel’s thrusts.

Roy gasped and his shoulders sagged, unable to support his weight any longer, rendered weak from the sensation. He pulled himself upright to embrace Jean’s shoulders, burying his face in the crook of the blonde’s neck and riding him with quick and shallow thrusts.

“Jean…” Roy breathed into the man’s skin between gasps, “faster…”

Jean gave a low, guttural moan and quickened his pace on the Colonel’s cock, the heat and sweat between their bodies providing lubrication in his hand. Not long after, Roy ground himself to the hilt on Jean’s cock and bit into his shoulder to stifle the moan of his release, spilling over both their stomachs and Jean’s hand.

Feeling Roy clenching rhythmically around his cock and biting into his shoulder to control himself sent Jean over the edge with a howl that was quickly and wisely suppressed by Roy’s hand, planted clumsily over his mouth in his own orgasmic stupor. He erupted inside the alchemist, arching his back against the pillows and panting sharply through his nose before collapsing into Roy, burying his face in his dark and dampened hair.

They two soldiers stayed that way, twitching, trembling and gripping; using each other for support as they rode out the fading waves of their orgasms.


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Roy rummaged through his discarded overcoat for his spark gloves, never without them. He slid one onto his hand under the questioning gaze of the spent and contented Lieutenant who watched with a lazy smile from his hospital bed. Glove on hand, he tossed him something that could have made the grown man weep.

Jean caught the cigarette mid-air and rolled it in his fingers in awe before planting it between his lips. A mere snap later and the blond took a long and much needed drag, savoring the smoke as it rolled through his lungs, holding it inside as long as he could stand it before exhaling slowly, eyes closed in an ecstasy slightly different than his previous pleasures, but no less gratifying.

He took a deep breath and sighed, opening a single eye to see the Colonel’s pleased smirk. “So. Why are you wearing that anyway, Sir?” he asked with a grin before taking another deep drag.

Roy’s smirk never faltered. “I figured you could use a good dose of morale,” he replied drolly with an arch of an eyebrow, “I heard you were thinking of resigning.”

Jean chuckled and smiled sadly, staring at the burning tip of his most beloved crutch, “Do you dress up like a girl for every cripple hindering your goals?”

Roy shrugged the overcoat onto his shoulders, unlocked the hospital door and opened it a crack, peering down the hall, making sure the coast was clear, “Only the ones worth keeping,” he replied, “I’ll be waiting.”

Colonel Mustang saluted his Lieutenant quickly and casually before making his escape, slipping out the door and clicking his heels quickly down the hall. Jean sat for a moment with a slight smile, cigarette dangling between his lips before pulling the drawer of his bedside table open and producing a resignation form which he had yet to sign. He folded it into a small square, took his cup of water from the table top and set the form aflame with the end of his cigarette.

It burned quickly and quietly, and he held it until the flames threatened his fingers before dropping it into the water with a finalizing sizzle.