Not So Useless

Title: Not So Useless
Pairing: Roy x Riza
Rating: NC-17
Notes: The first part of this was written on a rainy day after deciding to watch the Fullmetal OVAs and then chase that with a good dose of hentai. I posted it intending on making a 2-shot...and then promptly forgot. Finally, over a year later, the end came after a 3-hour silent film in my Motion Picture History class, and the realization that I needed to finish off a few of my 2-part stories. At that point I noticed that part 1 was too short to be considered a part, so I wrote part 2 and attached it on, making it one nice, neat little one-shot...that leaves potential for a sequel, if it fancies me in the future. But for now, enjoy as is!

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Thunder crackled outside the Central Headquarters, followed by the slow patter of rain on the rooftops. Within minutes, a dreary midday drizzle had turned into a full-blown thunderstorm, casting a dark gloom across the cobblestone streets and thoroughly soaking everything outside his office window. Roy Mustang tapped a gloved finger on the windowstill, utterly bored and annoyed by the state of the afternoon and the stacks of paperwork on his desk respectively.

It had been only a few hours earlier, when his first lieutenant, Riza, had come to fill him in on that day's reports and duties. Apparently there was more movement from resistance groups, presumably tied to Scar, and another report of mysterious alchemic practices in the South side of the warehouse district that had to be investigated. Of course, this news was of little concern to the colonel - as soon as the reports left her lips, Risa placed a stack of files on his desk and turned to leave with these parting words:

"I'll assemble two teams and handle these incidents myself. You're useless when wet."

Her statement wasn't uttered out of cruelty or mockery; lord knew Risa respected him far too much to even consider such insubordination. It was just the truth, Roy Mustang, the great Flame Alchemist, a legendary name in the book of State Alchemists, was rendered helpless with a few drops of water. Well, not completely helpless, he could hold his own in a normal fistfight, but more often than not, his opponents were skilled alchemists themselves, leaving him at a serious disadvantage.

And so he sat, the fingers of one hand drumming on the windowsill, the other cupping his chin as his breath made little circles of fog on the chilled glass. The paperwork that had manifested itself on his desk wasn't going to get done; he hated paperwork more than anything, and the fact that it was supposed to occupy him on a day when he should be out on the streets with his men investigating new developments in the Scar case made him loathe it even more than usual. He considered transmuting it back into a block of wood or a roll of toilet paper or anything tree-based, but considering it was most likely important materials, he left well enough alone.

Around mid-afternoon, Roy was leaned back in his chair, holding a folder in one hand and with a snap of his fingers of the other hand, sent it up in flames. The resulting pile of ash landed in a small bowl on his lap, which he placed in the middle of a chalk transmutation circle drawn on his desk. Pressing his palm to the edge, it glowed and the folder reappeared in perfect condition. He repeated this process several more times until he grew bored of it, not even stopping to consider if the materials within had survived several restorations intact. It was most likely just another false alarm report about the Philosopher's Stone anyway - they only kept them for posterity.

Finally, nearing the end of the day, a sopping wet and exhausted first lieutenant entered his office, dripping an easily followed trail across the floor to his desk. A soggy folder was added to the top of the pile she had left there earlier, which hadn't seemed to change a bit save a few scorch marks on the top one. He looked up at Risa, slightly amused at how disheveled a little bad weather could get her, and wiped the arrogant smirk off his face the second he saw the utter frustration and fatigue her expression showed.

"The resistance group was just that - resistant. Havoc is in the infirmary with a broken arm and a few other minor injuries. Breda is in surgery right now to remove some bullets from his shoulder and one in his abdomen, he's expected to be okay, no vitals were hit. We arrested three of the five, including the leader, but couldn't get any information on the whereabouts of Scar. The alchemy report from the South side turned out to be some idiot teenagers experimenting with some unrecovered materials from the 5th Laboratory. We're arranging a new sweep of the premises and will have the entire site leveled, burned, and sealed to prevent further instances. The boys are fine, but the golem they created made a mess of three buildings and nearly crushed Fuery to death. He's going to be in traction for a month."

She paused in her report when Roy attempted to stifle a yawn.

"Is all this boring you? Or was I interrupting your paperwork, Colonel?"

The glare he received accompanying the mention of paperwork would've been enough to bring lesser men to their knees. However, Roy was used to it, and just shrugged it off.

"The weather's just making me tired, please continue, Lieutenant."

Riza sighed, leaning back and frowning a bit at the small puddle of water that had resulted from her standing before his desk.

"The rest of the details are outlined in the report. I'll be heading to my quarters now to dry off before I catch my death of cold. It's days like this I'm sure you're glad you're useless in the rain. If you'll excuse me, Colonel."

She saluted stiffly and left the room, but those last few words didn't miss their target. Useless. Roy hated being called useless, the same as the Fullmetal boy hated being called short. Water was his Achilles heel and truth be told, it bothered him even more than paperwork. Again, he reminded himself that it was a statement of fact; she wasn't insulting him on purpose.

As he watched the soaked First Lieutenant walk out of his office, uniform clinging wetly in all the right places, an eviler-than-normal smirk crossed his lips. Useless in the rain, huh? He lingered a bit in his office, idly shuffling papers around and rearranging furniture until he saw Risa exit the building and start making her way to the female apartment barracks a few blocks away. Grabbing his overcoat, Roy left the building a good 40 paces behind her, enough to keep watch but not so she would easily notice her newfound stalker.

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The fine hairs on the back of Lieutenant Hawkeye's neck were bristling at every alleyway she passed, and she had no idea why. There was that distinct feeling in the pit of her stomach that she was being followed, eyes seemed glued to her person as she quickened her walk home to a near jog. The rain seemed to have slowed to a light drizzle, but the pavement was still slick from the day's downpour, making every step of her boots echo a sickening splatter sound between the adjacent buildings. Ever so often, she would glance back over her shoulder, but no one else was out on the quiet streets of the small apartment-laden area she traveled through to make it home. The day had been miserable weather-wise, and surely no one was dumb enough to be stalking around out in the damp now, were they?

She reassured herself that she was just getting delirious from cold and just needed a warm shower and dry clothes to set herself right again. That thought calmed her nerves for a second until she was forcefully pulled by the arm into the dimly lit space between two buildings. Her back came in contact with the cold brick facade, hitting her head hard enough to stun her vision for a moment. All she could see was a white-gloved hand reaching for her mouth, muffling her reaction as the other hand restrained her arm from reaching the handgun she had strapped to her side.

A moment in silence passed as she recovered from the stun both of hitting her head and the assailant who had her pinned against the wall. Suddenly, her eyes focused on a familiar face and head of short black hair. Her eyes flashed back from shock to confusion and Roy knew that she was returning to normal rationale rather than her previous "cornered, fight-or-flight" state. He slowly removed his hand from pinning her arm to the wall and heard her mumble from behind the one clasped over her jaw. He removed it and she began to question him, only to be cut off by his mouth descending on hers.

The look of shock was back on her face, only this time it was from disbelief and confusion, not fear. Roy's hands grabbed her wrists and pinned them over her head as he intensified the kiss, running his tongue over her lips in a request for entry. His knee slipped up between her legs, closing her in against the wall and causing her to gasp, allowing him the entry to her mouth he so eagerly sought. Riza's thought process finally caught up to her and analyzed the situation:

Roy Mustang had pulled her into an alley and was now shoving his tongue down her throat.

It could have been anyone - a deranged criminal who would've hacked her body into little pieces, a vindictive alchemist ready to transmute her into god knows what, Shou Tucker...but no, no danger, just her skirt-chasing commanding officer. Said officer was currently devouring her mouth with skill enough to slowly remove all traces of rational thought left in her shocked mind, and there was no reason she could come up with at the moment to stop him.

The rain had picked up, as did his pace, when the water-soaked gloves released her wrists and went to work pulling back her overcoat to reveal her military uniform. Light blue fabric quickly darkened to a deep navy as the rain soaked into her second layer of clothing that had until now managed to keep dry. The now damp jacket was being pulled open by his quick hands, bring yet another warming layer into exposure and rendering it useless to the elements. Riza was far from cold, however, as his mouth traveled down her now exposed neck and teased at the sensitive spot at the base of her ear. How he knew about that she'd never know, but now that he did, she could only acknowledge it with an appreciative moan.

Roy grinned, knowing he was having a positive effect on his target, and continued his assault with a slip of a cold, damp hand under her soaked undershirt. He found a very restrictive sports bra concealed underneath, which under normal circumstances would've been reduced to a pile of ash with a little snap of the fingers, but the soaked pyrotex wasn't being of any help that day. Not letting small details hinder his goal, he pulled the elastic up over her breasts, creating a slightly uncomfortable bunch of fabric under her arms, but when the cool, moist material of his gloved fingers slid lightly over her nipples, Riza could care less.

His roaming lips had reached the side of her neck and started to form small red circles where he nipped and sucked enough to draw the blood to her skin. Riza's arms hung limply at her sides as she let her weight rest against the brick wall, her knees doing little to help keep her upright as Roy's mouth descended even lower to capture one of her nipples. Her breath was coming in pants, creating foggy little clouds in the air between them, and the heat was slowly spreading throughout her every limb, pooling in her abdomen, and creating a delicious, frustrating pleasure she hadn't felt in a very long time.

With his tongue and teeth busy at her left breast, and one hand busy at her right, his free hand slipped down to her pants and worked at the buckle. After a second of fumbling and no luck, he released her right breast and set both hands to work at her waist, cursing the fact that he wasn't Fuhrer yet. Skirts would make this sort of access so much easier.

Zippers and buttons no longer being the barrier, Roy dropped to his knees, not giving a damn that he had just landed himself in a puddle. Before him was a pair of modest cotton panties that had to go, and with a snap of his fingers....

...damn rain.

Suddenly the gloves were off, useless as they were, and so were Riza's panties, or at least down to her ankles along with her uniform pants. He grasped her hips and slid her down the wall slightly, the rough damp brick of the building a very odd feeling against her naked backside, but nonetheless erotic somehow. As her knees bent slightly, her legs parted and Roy went straight for the center, not missing a beat as his tongue eagerly sought out her entrance.

Riza nearly screamed; how couldn't she? She clamped a hand over her mouth to muffle her cries before someone on the main street got curious. Roy's tongue was doing dangerous things to her parted thighs, swirling up and down, long drawn out licks, teasing skims over the edges of her entrance. With as much skill verbally as his mouth held when bullshitting her on paperwork, this sort of skill wasn't much a surprise. She could feel her arousal coming on stronger, and he was doing his best to lick every drop from her body. It was driving her mad, and the location he had chosen for this particular torture was only adding to the pleasure.

Somehow, Mustang had turned Hawkeye into an exhibitionist.

She was biting her knuckle now, approaching her peak rapidly as his tongue continued to dance along her most sensitive of areas. Suddenly, with a wicked gleam in his eyes, Roy started his final attack. With one hand holding her hip in place, Roy went for the kill with the tip of his tongue giving a sharp lick to her swollen clitoris. She gasped, followed by a second sharp intake of breath as he repeated the action immediately, forcing more air in her lungs than she thought possible. Riza didn't have time to exhale as the third step was completed, two of his fingers thrusting quickly into her sex as his tongue hit the spot a third time, and it was all over. Her cries echoed through the alley, carried by the damp spring breeze that swept through the streets.

There way no way someone didn't hear that.

Panting hard as she started to slowly inch down the building, Riza was hard pressed to find any sort of strength to keep herself upright after what Roy had just done to her. Luckily, he was perfectly in control of his faculties, and disengaged himself from her body in time to catch her liquid frame. She crumbled into his arms, still riding out the last waves of pleasure he had just evoked within her body, and they landed on the ground, her body cradled in his lap.

Her eyes could only stare up at the dismal gray sky, but she didn't care how dreary the weather looked: she was in post-orgasmic bliss and everything was a lovely shade of rose. The cold started to seep into the Colonel's pants, and he finally decided enough was enough, helping Hawkeye back to her feat and to reassemble her uniform before someone really did find them. She dressed in silence, her face now a lovely shade of crimson-pink that could only be found on the cheeks of naughty school girls caught in the back of the classroom with their boyfriends. Roy turned to walk back toward the main street, Hawkeye in tow a few steps behind.

They reached the thankfully deserted street and he walked nonchalantly toward the residential areas, pulling his still damp gloves back on. She followed curiously, knowing his own quarters were back at Central, and only the lower ranking officers such as herself lived in this area. Their short walk led them to the outside of her apartments and ended when Roy stood at the bottom of her steps, finally turning to speak, an arrogant smirk plastered across his face,

"Not so useless in the rain now, am I?"
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Finished...for now.