Adult-FanFiction.org : Gundam, Beyblade, DBZ, FMA

Standing in the Path of God's Tears	By : Squallsama Category: Gundam Wing/AC > Yaoi - Male/Male > Heero/Duo Views: 1511 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing/AC, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Standing in the Path of God's Tears
- 1
Title: Standing in the Path of God�s Tears

Author: Squall-sama

Disclaimer: Don�t own them, don�t sue me. Sunrise,
Bandai and Sotsu Agency does.
Also, the song I�m With You does not belong to
me, it belongs to Avril Lavigne
and whatever records she works with�not me, just like Gundam Wing. GOT
THAT!!!?!?!?!

Pairings: 2x1/1x2

Warnings: LEMON! Angst�really sad.
POV, One-shot.

Notes: This is set 5 years after Endless Waltz, so
all the boys are 21, ok. I�m changing the story line a slight bit, from
the end of Endless Waltz to fit this story line. So if you don�t like it, too
bad. Go cry to the Wambulance. I wrote this over an
extended period of time, whenever I was sad or depressed or something similar
to that� thus the reason for the depressing angst in this�just in case anybody
wanted to know�. This is also my first songfic that
I�ve ever written�it�s a lot harder than it looks� -_-0�

Notes: ~blah/blah~ Song�my program is a fucking
bitch and screws it up when I post it.

~�� ~�� ~�� ~�� ~

~Standing in the Path
of God�s Tears~

~I�m standing on a
bridge

I�m waiting in the
dark

I thought that
you�d be here by now�~

As I stand here, under the heavy rain, watching the
tiny droplets of water fall upon the earth and skyscrapers, with their sharp
spikes piercing the sky� I can�t help but remember something someone once told
me�

When it rains� God is crying�.
These tiny droplets of water� are God�s tears�.

~There�s nothin� but the rain,

No footsteps on
the ground

I�m listening but
there�s no sound�~

It�s been five years since I�ve
heard that said, since I�ve heard that voice�. Wars passed and people died,
friends became lovers, and lovers became distant memories and some things I
never wanted to forget, were forgotten.

I never spoke to Heero after we
saved Relena the last time; he was taken to a
hospital for a concussion and fell into a light coma� for reasons the doctor
never spoke of. I watched over him for a short time, but decided the best form
of action would be to leave�I knew he would be safe�. There was no point in me
watching over him anymore, he didn�t need me to�he had plenty of people around
to watch out for him and care for him� and love him.

I kept tabs with Quatre for a
while�even Wufei at times, but I slowly started to slip from their small, but
desperate attempts at keeping some sort of contact with them. I would still
keep up with their lives�finding out special events or important happenings in
each of their lives, secretly. It tore at my heart when I found out Quatre and
Trowa got married�I wanted so desperately to be there when that happened�I
always knew it would� but it was my choice to cut off all contact with my
past�� no matter how dear it was to me.

After severing every last strand of
connection I had with each part of my past, I left Earth, where everyone had
chosen to stay, and made my way back into space�to a new colony just past
Saturn�s rings. Man was certainly advancing technologically. It was clean and
mostly upper-class, but easy to live in and the people there didn�t look at you
like you carried the most dangerous disease of the century�it was quite nice.

~Isn�t anyone
trying to find me?

Won�t somebody
come take me home�~

�I ended up settling in quite easily with the
money I had� saved from fighting in the wars. Then I opened up what the locals
called, �Duo�s Deal�. I used to laugh every time someone called it that�though,
I never did name the place so I guess that name just kinda
stuck. It was basically an all around convenience, thrift, farmers market, and
nick-knack shop. Anything and everything could be found in there and I prided
myself in that fact� but the best part was the beneficial back-up I gave to the
unfortunates within the city or anyone else who came along and needed a hand
up. I called it that, but everyone knew it was charity, just a better way of
saying it since I wouldn�t allow that word within my store or around me.

I made a deal with and for
anything. If you could meet it�any way�I would beat it and help you along until
you found your way again. Needless to say, my customers loved me. I had the usuals, everyday people that knew me as well as I knew
myself�my new self� and then I had the shy, new customers who would stagger in
and blush and sputter around me, not really knowing how to act until I got
their problem out of them and helped them on their way.

It was a great business�lots of
fun. It wasn�t church or an orphanage, and it wasn�t really charity, no matter
how much others persisted in the fact, but I still got to help people and
that�s all that mattered. Yet, every now and then, I would feel a distanced
emotion come over me that I couldn�t explain and I would have to take a few
days off, go on vacation, away from all my wonderful customers and business.
When I�d come back, I�d practically have a line waiting outside the door to my
home and work. It always made me feel good when I saw that�it showed me that I
was needed�and I needed to be needed.

~It�s a damn cold
night

Trying to figure out
this life�~

Then, not too long ago, I had a
young boy, no more than fourteen�fifteen at the most, come stumbling into my
store�literally. He looked like he had been through Hell and back again; when I
saw the way he had been abused, it made me see red and I wanted to find the
bastard who had done that to the boy and kill him very slowly and very
painfully. I was mad enough when I first saw the boy, but after I was able to
get close enough to him to touch and clean him up, and I saw what he looked
like�I was speechless and left the boy right there in my bathroom, still
soaking wet and scared half-to-death.

What I saw, I could never put into
words; I wanted to burn my eyes out and make my memories go away. I wanted to
scream at the top of my lungs and cry and kill and hurt myself all over again.
I couldn�t breathe around the boy without causing enough pain to myself to
overwhelm ten men.

For the past five years, I was able
to block all memory, all thought of one, Heero Yuy, the Perfect Soldier, out of
my mind� but apparently not my heart. That boy that came stumbling into my
store that day, was so much an exact replica of my old partner, I had to ask
him if he knew who his father was and delve deeper into his past than I had
ever done with any of my other �clients�. Even though I knew it was physically
and scientifically impossible for Heero to have a child five years younger than
us, I still couldn�t help but think there was some relation behind them.

~Won�t you take me
by the hand

Take me somewhere
new

I don�t know who
you are

But I, I�m with
you�~

Immediately I took to finding where
everyone was again. I between bringing the striking boy back to health and
finding a new home, school and place to work for him, I lost myself in
searching for my forgotten past. I stayed up all hours of the night on the
Internet, reading up on Mr. Winner-Barton�s latest success or a Preventer Chang�s accomplishments; calling all of my
contacts and pulling every string I knew just to get a hold of Quatre again.

After safely securing all ties with
the mysterious boy and sending him on his way, I was finally free to devote my
full attention to finding the only people I�d ever called family again.

It took me four days to finally get
a hold of one of Quatre�s secretaries, then a vid-phone,
some smooth talking, and that suave grace of mine to finally get the bitch to
let me talk to Quatre over a vid-link. His security
was better than Relena�s!

I was so nervous as I waited for
the vile woman to patch me through to her head boss, I didn�t know why�I mean,
I knew Quatre like I knew myself�like I knew all the Gundam Pilots� but I still
felt odd. I guess after cutting off all contact with the people you care for
most then suddenly popping back up out of nowhere again has it�s affects on
you� it�s like coming back from the dead�not that I haven�t done that plenty of
times before�.

~I�m looking for a
place

Searching for a
face

Is anybody here I
know�~

Then I was suddenly face-to-face
with Quatre, or, well, as face-to-face as you can be with millions of miles
between you and an electronic screen projecting your image. I smiled, actually
smiled when I saw Quatre pop up on the vid-phone; he
still looked the same�small, fine face and clean-cut, short, blonde hair. He
looked a little taller than he used to be, of course that was to be expected
with five years on him�I grew almost a foot! He had lost a lot of the innocence
in his features, finally growing into the man that he was. Then he spoke, his
voice still kind of high-pitched, but taken on a nice alto to it.

�� Duo��?� He looked so much in
shock as his large blue eyes widened in surprise and he covered his mouth with
his long fingers. Then disappeared. My mouth dropped as Quatre fell from view
of the screen, collapsing to the ground from the sound of it. I wished I was
there then, I felt so bad for him, probably giving the poor guy a heart-attack.
Then I heard the door open and an all-too-familiar voice shout Quatre�s name. I
smiled as I heard Trowa ask if Quatre was ok and what was wrong; when a weak
�Duo� was mumbled from the out-of-site Quatre I suddenly saw Trowa, standing
before the screen with much the same shocked expression as Quatre held moments
before.

My smile widened when I saw the
changes in Trowa, his shorter brown hair�still that one giant bang in his eye,
so much more emotion in his features and his height! He was already tall but
now he was monstrous! He had to have been almost seven feet tall! But he was
still the same Trowa, and I was happy about that�it would have been a shame to
lose anyone to a few years age. Of course, I have no room to talk� I�ve changed
so much�.

�Duo�?� was the only exchanged
between us for a long while, both of us looking each other over as best we
could over the vid-link, then he spoke again.

��I�we thought something had
happened to you� you�re alive�� at that last word Trowa smiled�a full out
smile, something I�ve never seen and will never forget. I nodded and laughed
lightly, not knowing what to say in the awkward position I was in.

�How have you been, Duo? We�ve
missed you�� I thought my composure I�d forced upon myself was going to break
at the admission of them missing me�they�d never know how much that meant to
me.

�I-I�ve missed you guys too. Uhh, hey, is Quatre alright down there�?� Trowa smiled as I
pretended to be looking over the screen at where Quatre was. He knelt down and
came back up with a dizzy looking Quatre who quickly covered his fatigue with a
bright smile and tears. I took a deep breath, forcing myself to be good as
Quatre broke down and told me how much they had missed me and asked why I never
contacted them and all that other non-sense you blubber about after finding
someone who�s basically dropped off the face of the Earth�in the literal sense
for me. After an extremely long conversation and a few tears finally shed, on
my part, we had decided on a date that I would fly out and meet them on Earth,
to stay for a while and catch up on everything I�ve missed in the five years we
were apart.

~�Cause nothing�s going right

And everything�s a
mess

And no one likes
to be alone.~

I couldn�t have been happier and I
quickly set to finding the deeds to my beloved business and calling the only
person I�d ever trust with something like this�Howard. After a few arguments
and a long talk over what I was giving up, the place I�d called home longer
than any other was leaving me�or, more precisely, I was leaving it to go to a
new one.��

��

And now, here I am, three days, two
shuttles, and about two hundred bags of peanuts later, on Earth� staring up
into the dark sky above me, now pouring rain upon myself and my luggage, though
I don�t care�I haven�t been under real rain in almost seven years�it�s
nice to know that it�s the real thing for once and not something artificially
created. Quatre would kill me though, if he knew I was purposefully standing
here, sopping wet and still standing. I smile at the thought and reluctantly
headed off in the direction of my hotel. Another thing Quatre would have killed
me over�not taking a taxi. Why the hell do I need one of those when I�m
perfectly capable of walking there myself? Oh well, he can scold me all he
wants when I get to his house tomorrow, we all know he�ll force me to stay with
them once I arrive� not that I�m complaining�that�s fine by me, I just didn�t
want to deal with all the commotion and excitement after flying half way across
space to get here.

~�� *�� .��
*�� ~

�Wow, I still can�t believe you�re
back Duo, this is so wonderful! You are staying, aren�t you�I won�t take no for
an answer�� I smiled and nodded adding,

�I can�t believe I�m back
either�it�s so good to be back with you guys�� it was really heart-warming when
Wufei even smiled at my confession. I never realized how much I missed them
until now�. I sighed loudly as the room went silent, my mind starting to drift
towards something I wanted to hide and not speak of, not around the others, but
it came out anyway�I think they were expecting it though.

�So, how�s Heero�?� I smiled sadly
as each had their own reaction to my question, Wufei visibly stiffened, pausing
mid-sip, of his tea to swallow hard and stare at me blankly. Trowa looked about
to say something but stopped and turned his face away from me, not wanting me to
see something in it. Quatre looked on the verge of tears�I didn�t understand
why�had something happened? What could have possibly come about to cause these
kind of reactions from the men before me�?

I became even more upset and
worried than I was before; upset at myself, for speaking those words and
worried over the fact that not a single word had been spoken of Heero since my
first contact with Quatre and the others. I wanted to cry, I was so lost and
confused and stressed and overwhelmed with everything that had happened in such
a short period of time.

~Isn�t anyone
trying to find me?

Won�t somebody
come take me home�~

Heero and I had been lovers once,
everyone knew that� I had even dared to fall in love with him, which is what
lead me to hold the protectiveness I felt for him and then the need to leave
him behind. I never knew if he loved me back or if I was just a way of relief�
he never told me. So when I asked the question everyone, including myself, had
been dreading, it only made the pain worse.

I waited for someone to answer my
question, the silence painfully unnerving as we all sat there, each of them
waiting for the other to answer so he wouldn�t have to. It hurt� to know that
my closest friends couldn�t tell me something as important as this, all I want
to know is where Heero is at�I don�t even know what I�d do with the
information�if I got it.

�Heero�� I look up at the word
�Heero� when Quatre says it, hope in my eyes. I can see Quatre�s face grow
darker as I stare at him, I know he doesn�t want to talk about it�but damn it,
I do!

�Quatre, please, where�s Heero?
What happened to him�?�

�Why should you care, Maxwell?
You�re the one that left in the first place� and now you want to try and pick
up something you broke a long time ago?� I just stare at Wufei, too shocked to
do much of anything but stare. One minute he�s so forlorn and the next he�s
yelling at me, turning this around to be my fault! What just happened here!?

�Whoa� wait a minute, I didn�t come
back to get blamed or yelled at over something I didn�t do! What the hell are
you talking about�I didn�t do a damn thing to Heero!� I couldn�t hold back the
cringe as Wufei rose from his chair and stomped over, towering above me
threateningly. And the worst part was that Trowa and Quatre didn�t look about
to move from their spots anytime soon.

�Duo, you baka! Think for once and
maybe you�ll understand!! You left Heero when he needed you the most, you
ran away and didn�t come back!!� Wufei seemed to calm somewhat after yelling in
my face, then moved back to sit down in his chair. I watched warily as he took
a deep breath and looked back up at me with eyes I�d never expect to see on a
man like him.

~It�s a damn cold
night

Trying to figure
out this life�~

�Duo, Heero loved you� and you left
him behind. No matter what your thoughts or intentions were, you still left and
it killed him. He went after you, Duo� he tried to find you�� I couldn�t
believe what Wufei had just said, suddenly my heart hurt far more than it ever
had, and I�m sure, ever will. I couldn�t breathe and everything became blank�I
didn�t see or hear or feel anything. I was just cold and completely lost.

I felt like I had died right then,
everything seemed completely insignificant and I was void of all emotions. The
one thing I had loved most, I pushed away. God! When my whole life�my whole
existence had been devoted to only him�why didn�t he just say it!? I loved
him�I loved Heero and because I loved him so deeply, I left him�I didn�t feel
it was fair of me to feel that way when he�when I thought he didn�t. And now I
find out he did and it�s my fault that I�ve lost him�that he�s no longer
around�.

That�s not possible� how could
Heero have given up so easily? It�s not fair!!

�Duo�� I looked up into Quatre�s
eyes, on the verge of tears and he continued in a hushed voice,

�� Duo� we haven�t heard from Heero
in over a year, he�he kept in contact with us up until then and� he just
suddenly stopped talking or visiting us. We don�t know where he is, we were
hoping you did, but you obviously don�t� Wufei has used every resource in the Preventers and Trowa and I have done all we can and then
some�it�s like� he just disappeared. Just like you.� for some reason that last
sentence hurt more than I think Quatre was intending it to, and all I could do
was stare at him like a hurt and lost little boy. Quatre seemed to sense my
hopelessness and wrapped his arms around me as tight as he could.

~Won�t you take me
by the hand

Take me somewhere
new�~

It felt nice to be back in
someone�s arms again, even if it wasn�t the person I loved. The last time
someone held me like that was when Sister Helen was alive� I don�t think it
will be happening again anytime soon either.

~�� *�� .��
*�� ~

Five weeks later� I�m living with Quatre and
Trowa�what�d I tell you? That first night I spent with them, after they told me
about Heero� Quatre asked�told me to stay with them, I did. A week later I was
working in the Preventers with Wufei, right by his
side, which was nice�I wasn�t being treated like a total insignificant moron,
except when I was around Wufei. That man never really did forgive me for what�
I did to Heero, but he accepts and treats me more as an equal now than he ever
did during the war, which is a plus.

~I don�t know who
you are

But I, I�m with
you�~

It�s different, living with my old family again,
nothing has changed really�it�s just like it was during the war, only easier,
more simple and less stressful. It�s nice to be able to relax with them and not
worry about being killed, maimed, or blown to Hell at any given second anymore.

I�ve slowly built my days and new life-style into a
pattern over the few weeks that I�ve spent here on Earth too. Wufei picks me up
for work everyday, we find the bad guys that threaten our peace and �punish�
them. I come home�usually walk, despite Quatre�s efforts at making me drive
home or at least let one of the company drivers take me home, but I refuse each
time�I like the exercise�I need it and the scenery isn�t too bad either�.
Actually, that�s one of the main reasons why I walk home�I love the life and
greenery where we live. It�s� real. More so, alive�the plant-life on the
colonies were real too, but it wasn�t like it is here on Earth� this is real,
true life�not artificially created life.

I tried explaining that to Quatre once, the
differences between the colony�s artificial creations and the Earth�s own, he
got it�but still shook his head saying that�s not a proper reason to get myself
soaked and sick over. So, here I am, standing in the middle of the park that�s
on my way home, in the rain. I love doing this to Quatre�.

�I sigh and
tip my head back, closing my eyes as the rain falls on my face. It�s been a
steady downpour since this morning, but has turned into a light drizzle since I
left the office about thirty minutes ago. I don�t care�it�s still rain�� God�s
Tears�. Without really paying attention, my mind drifts to Him, the few nights
we spent together; to the time when He spoke those words�.

After the guys told me Heero had disappeared, I
devoted every waking moment to finding him. I knew if anybody was going to
�bring him back from the dead�, it was going to be me. Besides Heero, I had the
best hacking skills out of us all� but it seemed I lost those skills somewhere
about four years back, because I virtually got nowhere with the research. I
didn�t care though, I wasn�t going to give up on finding Heero�I still haven�t;
every day, as soon as I�d enter the office, I would run a search on anything
and everything that might be related to Heero Yuy in any way. Each time I came
up empty handed� but that only leads me to believe that he has to be alive�to
cover his tracks, otherwise I would have come up with something by now�.

~Oh, why is
everything so confusing?

Maybe I�m just out
of my mind

Yea,
yea, yea�~

I know I�m fooling myself, but I just can�t let go�
how could I? You can�t just stop loving someone like that� I may have left him
behind and never left any recognition of my existence with him, but that
doesn�t mean I stopped loving him.

~It�s a damn cold
night

Trying to figure
out this life�~

Distantly, I hear footsteps, but pay no attention to
them, it�s just some crazy fool walking their poor dog in the rain�. I sigh and
lean over the brick wall of the old bridge, once more depressed at where my
thoughts have taken me�again, when suddenly I hear a soft voice saying
something behind me.

�You know, when it rains� it�s really God crying�.�
All at once my world comes to a stop� my breath coming in uneven shuddering
gasps�how, how could this be possible? I�m just imagining it�that voice, those
words� this can�t truly be real. Just to prove a point to myself, I push away
from the wall and stand up strait�wobbling slightly from the dizzy feeling that
has overcome my senses, and I slowly turn around, eyes closed in disbelief and
fear.

When I�ve finally turned opposite my original
position, I just stand there a moment, trying to calm my breathing and compose
myself. I know what I just heard, can�t be real, but�. Opening my eyes very
slowly reveals a pair of boot-covered feet, then black pants and the tips of a
black trench coat� I slow my traveling eyes, taking in every detail of the very
real person before me�so far clad in nothing but black. As I go higher, I
notice the hands are hidden in the pockets of the coat, the stance is almost
lazy and relaxed, then I notice the small expanse of dark caramel skin exposed
just above the collar of a black tank-top and I swallow convulsively.

I take another deep breath and close my eyes for a
moment, then open them to what I�ve only imagined in dreams, pictures on nights
I was most lonely. He�s here�he�s back� he really is alive�. I close my eyes
and shake my head slightly, still not believing it�s true, even as a hot
wetness pricks at the edges of my eyes and spills over, warming my cheeks from
the colder touch of the rain.

��Heero�� it�s pathetic, but all I�m able to whisper
as I stare back into those beautiful prussian eyes of
his�they haven�t changed a bit. It�s odd, how I feel that pull at my heart
again, the pain, like I felt before when I thought I�d lost him� I don�t care
though� I don�t care. I force myself to whisper a few more words before
anything else can happen, I just can�t let go of him this time�I won�t�

�Heero I� I�m sorry�� suddenly I feel myself falling
into his arms and they wrap protectively around me, holding me just as strong
as ever; he feels so much warmer than I can remember when I bury my face
against his chest and begin to cry openly. I grab onto his coat as tightly as I
can then, afraid that if I let go, I�ll lose him again� I think he understands
that as well, because his arms tighten around my weakened body.

~Won�t you take me
by the hand

Take me somewhere
new�~

I close my eyes and lay my head on his shoulder,
despite the fact that I�m almost a foot taller than he is. Suddenly the cold
becomes very aware and forefront in my mind as Heero�s body-heat warms the
front of me and the rain begins to fall harder, pelting down on my back. He
shifts under my weight and I�m vaguely aware of myself whimpering when he
moves, afraid he�s leaving again� all he does is shift me to his side and slowly
starts to lead me down the bridge and away from our meeting place.

I can�t remember anything from the time between my
falling into Heero�s arms and suddenly appearing at a door to some hotel room
with the number �21� on it. I let Heero pretty much carry me inside; he closes
the door and locks it then moves me through the small living room to an even
smaller bedroom and gently deposits me on the surprisingly comfortable
mattress. I stare up at him as he pulls away, he just stares back down at me
with the strangest expression�it�s not angry or upset or sad, or entirely happy
either, it�s just� neutral. But I feel a small smile pull the corner of my
mouth as I realize it�s not the same emotionless mask he always wore so long
ago either�he looks so� human now�so alive�.�

I had to say something�I felt so stupid and so wrong
for all the harm I�d caused Heero; he just continued to stare at me though, he
looked so� wise and kind, which only made me feel worse.

�Heero, I�� before I could say anything more, he placed
a finger on my lips, shushing me silently. I stopped and stared up at him,
conveying my feelings with my eyes�like I always did� Heero stared at me a
moment more and slowly leaned over, replacing his finger with those luscious
lips of his�they never changed�thank God�. I finally let myself go and gave up�
closing my eyes and wrapping my arms around Heero�s, still petite, waist.

I smiled into our first kiss we�ve shared in over
five years as Heero leans into my embrace and lets me pull him down onto the
bed. When we part for air, Heero is still watching me with the same expression
he�s held since we met on the bridge�. I frown slightly and start to grow
worried, wondering if he didn�t really come back for this� for me. The worry I
felt must have shown in my eyes because Heero slowly brought a small hand up to
my face and cupped my cheek within it, gently rubbing the pad of his thumb over
my lips. I closed my eyes and leaned into his touch, sighing; I�d never felt
such tenderness from him before�not from Heero�even during our love sessions,
he never touched me in a caring way.

~I don�t know who
you are

But I, I�m with
you�~

I didn�t want it to stop though, being the greedy bastard
that I am� so I push past his hand and lay my head down on that strong chest,
sighing as I listen to his heart-beat. I think he�s a bit stunned at my sudden
movements because he tenses slightly and doesn�t touch me for a few minutes. He
slowly starts to relax though and when I feel him lay his arms on my back, I
smile and tighten my hold around him.

We lay there on the bed like that for a long while,
I feel myself start to doze off though when Heero suddenly starts to trail the
tips of his fingers over my back, up and down; drawing circles and small
designs, sending chills down my spine and making me shiver from the delightful
feelings he provokes. I moan Heero�s name and lean into his body more, nuzzling
his neck and placing a gentle kiss there. Heero makes a small noise of
appreciation and I take that as a sign to continue. I finally sit up and stare
down at him for a moment, just taking in his beautiful features� then I lift
him up slightly, pushing him towards the head of the bed, telling him silently
that I want him on the bed all the way.

He understands and sits up, then pushes himself back
up onto the bed completely�kicking his shoes off before he does� good, one less
thing I have to worry about removing from his body�. then I crawl over to him
and straddle his hips, staring into his eyes for any changes that might show me
what he�s really feeling, but he just stares back at me with the same warm eyes
he�s held so recently�. I smile and kiss Heero again, earning a moan from him
this time; somewhere in the back of my mind I realize that Heero hasn�t forced
me onto my back yet�.

While Heero may have been the one receiving my cock
in the past, he sure as hell wasn�t uke. I remember
every night we ever spent together, he never once let me take control of our
lovemaking� but tonight is different�everything is so different. But I�m happy
with the new changes and I wouldn�t want it any other way� I just wish I�d
never left Heero behind like I did�that�s my only regret.

~Take me by the
hand

Take me somewhere
new�~

Slowly and cautiously, I pull each article of
clothing from Heero�s perfect body�afraid that any fast or sharp movements will
frighten him and he won�t want to continue, but he lays there, completely calm
and almost lazily as he lets me do what I want to him, like a doll. I chuckle
at how much he looks like a giant cat right now, his head tilted back on the
pillows, eyes closed and muscular limbs sprawled out carelessly. When I finally
remove all of Heero�s dark clothing, I take the time to marvel over his
gorgeous body�the years only making him more beautiful and perfect than he was
when I last knew him.

When I look back up to his face, he�s watching me
again� it�s almost unnerving to a point, how he hasn�t said anything or showed
any reaction to what has happened�it makes me wonder what he�s been through
these past five years. I want to ask, but I�m too afraid of his reaction�I
don�t want him to leave again. Against my better judgment, I open my mouth,
ready to ask some questions, but one of Heero�s finger�s stops me again� I
frown at him, not understanding why he won�t let me talk. Then Heero leans
forward and whispers in my ear,

�Not now, lets just enjoy this time together� then
we�ll talk�� he pulls away and stares at me, a small smile pulling at the
corners of his mouth. I sigh and nod, smiling back at him; he�s right,
questions can wait �till later�right now, all I want is Heero�to be with him
and be part of him once more. I lean forward to capture his lips in a much more
forceful kiss than the others and he willingly submits, opening his mouth to me
immediately. I moan at his submission and thrust my tongue into that hot
sweetness of his mouth, reveling in the wonderful taste of his.

Heero counters my moan with one of his own, while wrapping
his arms around my neck, pulling me closer to him; it�s overwhelming, how much
he acts as though he needs me� I falter momentarily when the thought that this
is all an act, passes through my mind. Oh god, please don�t let these feelings
he�s showing for me be false� I would die if they were.

~I don�t know who
you are

But I, I�m with
you�~

I push the disturbing thoughts aside and continue to
plunder his luscious mouth as I struggle to remove my own clothing. When I
begin to lose patience and growl around our kisses, Heero aids me in removing
my clothing, calm and languid in his movements as he pulls the shirt from my
shoulders and unbuttons my pants. I gasp out loud when my aching cock is
finally released from the confines of the wet Preventers
uniform I had been wearing. I quickly kick the pants off and lay my whole body
flush against Heero�s, earning a wonderful gasp from him.

I smile down at him and kiss the corner of his right
eye, when I pull away, he blinks up at me owlishly�he looks so adorable when he
does that�I just never want to let him go�. I sit up again, causing Heero to
mewl in disappointment from the lost contact of our bodies, but the sweet pout
he wears soon dissolves into something more of a seductive need as he throws
his head back and opens his mouth in a silent cry when I take the head of his
penis in my mouth and suckle it for a moment. Heero whimpers when I pull away,
I can tell he�s forcing the pathetic glare he�s giving me, but he jerks his
head to the side roughly, glancing at the nightstand. I understand immediately
and lean over Heero, opening the drawer and pulling out a tube of lubricant�
hmm, it seems he must have expected this to happen, either that or he always
travels prepared�just in case? Nice thought, still the perfect little soldier
boy I know and love.

I smile and kiss Heero�s pouting lips again as I
twist the cap off the lube and squeeze a generous amount of the gel onto my
fingers. I have no idea how long it�s been since Heero has been with anyone� what
if�no, no, I won�t think about it, I won�t let the possibility that, of course
he wouldn�t wait for me for five years� ruin this moment. It doesn�t matter if
he didn�t wait�all that matters is that he�s here, now, with me�.

I kiss him roughly again, conveying all my feelings
with the kiss as I slowly push my index finger past the tight ring of muscle,
concealing Heero�s hidden secrets. Heero gasps against my lips, arching off the
bed when I push my finger in a little further�maybe he hasn�t been with
anyone�. Heero clutches my shoulders desperately when I added a second finger,
squeezing his eyes shut and gritting his teeth from the pain I didn�t mean to
cause him. When I added a third finger, Heero cried out and bit his bottom lip.
I was so shocked, I didn�t move for a long while�I just stared at him, afraid I
would hurt him again.

When Heero opened his dark blue eyes, he had a
slight crease to his brows and a light sheen of sweat had started to form upon
his forehead; he just stared at me with pleading eyes and whimpered. I didn�t
know what to do, I didn�t understand why he was so tight and sensitive�I�d
never hurt him like this before, even during his first time�.

~Take me by the
hand

Take me somewhere
new�~

�Heero, I�are you all right? Should I stop�?� Heero
shook his head and pulled me to him again, whispering in my ear once more,

�No, I�m fine�I�ll be ok� I-it�s just been� a while�
since my last time�� when I leaned back to stare at him, I couldn�t help the
shock that crossed my face�he really had waited�he�d been faithful this whole
time! I couldn�t help it as my eyes began to water, this only proved what he
was doing wasn�t an act and I berated myself for being so foolish to believe it
ever would have been. Heero doesn�t pretend�when he feels for something or
someone, it�s strong and true� despite the emotionless fa�ade he put on during
the war�he was a tightly packed ball of emotions, just waiting to burst at any
moment� and perhaps the most emotional of us all.

I kissed Heero�s cheek as he pulled away and this
time, as I pushed my fingers inside his tight body, I was much slower and
gentler, but it still hurt him, I could tell�.

After thoroughly stretching his unbelievably tight
passage, I coated my aching shaft with the lubricant and crawled between
Heero�s gorgeous, powerful thighs, making myself comfortable as I leaned
forward and captured Heero�s lips with my own, determined to find a way to
bring as little pain to him as possible. As I tried to distract him with the
kiss, I slowly pressed the head of my cock against his opening and pushed in as
slowly as I dared�he was so tight! I couldn�t believe the pressure I felt
around my cock as I entered him�it was almost unbearable, and I could tell it
was a lot for Heero to bear also, I kissed him again, distracting him long
enough to enter him completely.

�� Heero took in a deep, shuddering breath when I had
finally stilled and he stared at me, trying to force back the pain I knew he
felt. I brushed back a lock of sweaty chocolate hair from his face and smiled
down at him, gazing at his beautiful features lovingly. Heero sighed and
shakily wrapped his arms around my neck once more and shifted his body in my
hold� when he did that, I thought I was lost, but I somehow managed to keep
still and very slowly, I pulled out of Heero�s impossibly tight heat, then
pushed back in a little faster than when I first entered.

We soon built up a perfect rhythm, Heero completely
forgetting about his pain as he pushed down against my large cock and I pushed
into his waiting heat, hitting that sensitive spot deep inside of him each
time.

~I don�t know who
you are

But I, I�m with
you�~

At first I didn�t understand how something could
have been so perfect, but when I realized that Heero was as much a part of it
as I ever was, for the first time, I knew how everything should have been and
how it would be for the rest of our lives. I�d never let Heero go again, and
when he looked into my eyes, falling and on the edges of passion, I smiled and
whispered in his ear,

�I love you�� and then Heero came, crying out my
name and clamping his tight heat around my straining cock, making me come with
him.

I collapsed atop Heero as he milked me dry; he sank back
into the pillows and both of us just lay there, breathing heavily, completely
spent but satisfied. I pulled back from Heero to look at him but he just pulled
me back down on top of him, refusing to let me go� so I wrapped my arms around
him again and pulled him on top of me as I rolled over onto my back. Heero
hissed in pain as I slipped out of him from the change in position and flashed
him an apologetic look.

Heero let out a heavy breath and laid his head on my
chest, closing his eyes. I watched lovingly, and ran my fingers through his
hair, kissing the top of his head as he began to drift off into slumber.

After leaving Heero behind, here on Earth, five
years ago, I never thought I�d see him again, but secretly, I never gave up
hope�. And I never gave up my love for him, not once tainting it with that of
another�just as he had stayed true to me, so I had to him. Now that he�s here
with me again, back in my arms, everything feels so perfect and right�new and
different, but right.

Heero shifts in my arms suddenly, moaning softly in
his sleep and then he mumbles something under his breath,

�Love you� Duo�� right, perfect�. The first time he
has ever admitted his love to me and I will never forget it.

~I�m with you�~

I love you too Heero, I love you�.

~�� *�� .��
*�� ~

I returned to the house two days later� and not
alone. I still can�t help but laugh when Quatre opened the door and fainted
right there on the tile floor, he had to have had a headache after that. The
look on Heero�s face though, was priceless. He looked like a child who�d been
caught with his hand in the cookie jar, not knowing what to do.

The celebration we had, with the return of everyone
back together again, had to have been the biggest party I had ever been
to�including those of all the prime ministers and secretary�s of state and
head-haunchos I�d crashed during the war. Afterwards,
when Heero and I had escaped back to our room, he told me everything that
happened�.

When he found out I had left, he became severely
depressed�he told me he didn�t know why until Quatre and Trowa had gotten
married and he realized then that he loved me and he had to find me. He told me
he searched everywhere, used everything he had to locate my whereabouts, but he
just couldn�t find me. He told me that he realized, subconsciously, that he
didn�t want to find me at first and he became depressed once more, and just
gave up completely for a long while�he cut off all contact with everything
human and hid himself somewhere on the Eastern side of Earth.

What startled me the most though, was when he told
me that he had found me over a year ago, but when he did, he didn�t know what
to do and he just stayed back�watching me from a distance, learning of my new
life, new home, new friends, new lovers. He was confused at first by what I
did, but realized after a while how I helped people and how much they
appreciated it.

When he had found out that I didn�t have any lovers
he understood and felt he didn�t need to watch over me anymore, he had left the
colony I was living on little more than a month before I did. He said, as soon
as I contacted Quatre for the first time in four years, he knew what I was
doing and when I was going to arrive on Earth.

I had asked him why he waited so long to show
himself if he knew where and what I�d been doing for so long, he told me,

�Because I trusted you.� I couldn�t have ever shown
my gratitude or love to him, to equal how I felt when he told me that; he was
my life and I was his, we finally realized that.

�

�Some nights�
after Heero has fallen asleep in my arms, I lay awake, wondering what would
have happened to me if that boy had never shown up on my doorstep? Or, maybe,
if I�d never left Heero altogether� then I think to myself that I�d be
miserable�I know I would have, Heero never would have changed and I�d have to
live with his stoic, �emotionless� self, or I would have continued living out
my life on the space colony until I died from boredom�I loved that job, yes,
but I could have never stayed with it for ever�though I know that�s what would
have happened.

So, on nights like these, with Heero cuddled close
to me, I silently thank the mysterious boy who fell onto my doorstep that
day�without him, I�d never have found my home.

~I�m with you�~

~Owari~
- 1
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Standing in the Path of God's Tears