Faded Colours
folder
Gundam Wing/AC › Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
3
Views:
468
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0
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0
Currently Reading:
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Category:
Gundam Wing/AC › Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
3
Views:
468
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Gundam Wing/AC, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Faded Colours
Title: Faded Colours
Author: Zimmerie Kanoah
Rating: Pg-13
Pairings: 1x2past
Warnings: Death. Yep that’s right one of our beloved Gundom Wing boys is going to die. And this is unbeta-ed. Oh… it post war. Haven’t decided how many years, not sure if it’s really relevant for the plot line.
Genre:Angst
Disclaimer: I own nothing and I am not receiving in profit from the creation of this story. This is purely for entertainment purposes only.
Chapter One: I Can Break
It’s happening all the time when I open my eyes~
I’m still taken by surprise~
I hold sunlight and swallow fireflies~
And it makes me want to cry I love you~
I shall never grow up~
Make believe is too much fun
By Eisley - Brightly Wound
Heero stared down at the white marble tombstone his knees becoming weak beneath his weight, his heart seemingly about to be squeezed into mush, and he found that his breathing was labored as if he was under a wall that had fallen on top of him. He was not a claustrophobic man by nature but out here in the open, with the biting cool air, and the small white flakes falling Heero was finding he felt as though he was in a small box with the air slowly being sucked from the small enclosure. Reaching his black leather clad hand towards the stone in front of him he stops short not able to go the last few inches, knowing that touching the inscription there would only make this so much more real. No, he thinks pulling back and placing his hands back into his flight jacket, far to painful to feel the truth that was clearly in front of him, better to leave it as it was.
“Why?” He chokes out, his breath coming out in a puff, before he stops himself fighting back the tears burning behind his now closed eyelids.
Taking a shuddering breath he steps back, then slowly turns away from the grave pulling the collar of the jacket up and slumping into the little shelter it provides. Heero briskly walks away from the white marble tombstone where his comrade, brother in arms, confidant, and lover lies dead for what was now two years. Still the pain of that day burns him, cuts him deeper than any weapon could ever, had ever done to his physical body. Even the experience of his near death and recovery from it did not compare to the pain he felt daily sense that moment he watched his heart die.
***
Heero looked up from his plate to say something comical to the man across from him only to catch a small drop of blood slowly fall from the other’s nose. He normally wouldn’t have worried but he couldn’t shake that something was wrong, something about the moment itself was out of place.
“Duo?” He asked curiously when Duo had raised his hand to his temple. “Duo are you okay?”
“Yeah,” he replied in a strangled voice.
“Duo,” Heero paused unsure of what to do or say. “Duo your nose is bleeding.”
“Figures…” with that Duo fell from his chair the resounding clonk of his head seemed to echo in the quite shock that followed.
“DUO!” Heero yelled falling to his knees beside his lover, while flipping open his cell, and dialing 911.
***
“So Duo how’s the fight going?” Heero can hear Quatre’s cheery voice fillter in from the other room while he prepares dinner.
“Well the kemo seems to be working, I have to wear this fuckin’ ichy wig, but I can be a brunette one day and then a blonde the next. Hey just think I can totally go all out for Holloween this year!” Duo rambled off.
Heero knew the man was hurting, but he kept it well hidden from everyone. Crying at night, the headaches, the presisting nose bleeds, the nausea , and his over all weakness was killing Duo more than the cancer itself. He sighed, as he listened to Duo chattering on about things that weren’t all that relevant to his current situation, and Quatre kindly stayed away from what was painful for Duo to talk about.
A year now, a whole year and still no improvement, none. Heero’s eyes narrow momentarily while he places the plates down on the table. The doctors continued to say any day Duo would start to get better, but he was starting to have his doubts, and when he looked into his lovers eyes he could tell that Duo was losing faith as well. He wasn’t so sure how much longer he would be able to handle this, and he wasn’t even the one going through the painful kemo and body damage. Looking up at his Duo he smiled, his lover was much more than anyone ever gave the former pilot credit for.
***
Heero swallowed the lump in his throat, closed his eyes tightly, and clasped his shakey hands together before speaking back to the doctor. “But you said he would get better this time, you were so sure.”
“Yes well it seems that his body, given his youth , couldn’t take it. His body has had the opposite reaction to the therapy than was intended.” She answered clinically.
“What do you mean by that?”
“Instead of attacking the cancer, his body has begun to attack itself. He will live out the rest of his life in great pain while his body kills itself.”
“I see.” Was all Heero could grind out .
Turning away from her calm, and uncaring demeanor he walked out into the spring air. Duo’s favorite season, he always yammered on about how it was the season of rebirth and renewal. Yet his lover was going to die and his death started in this season, this season of happiness and sunshine. Heero punched the brick wall of the building to ease the inner pain with some of the physical, this spring was and the ones after it would always mean death and heart ache to him.
***
He sat just outside of the room, which was cracked open, listening to the conversation going on within. Wufei had come to visit today and had all but brought the life back into his Duo. Wufei always had that effect on people oddly enough. One would think, while looking at the group of them, it would be Quatre, but it was Wufei with his strong sense of self, and love for those he held dear to his heart. Even young children loved him, which is what Duo loved most about his best friend.
“Neh, how poetic is this Fei?” Duo rasped out lifting the breathing mask to be heard.
“Whatever do you mean by that Maxwell?”
“Oh, only that it’s poetic I’m dieing with the change of seasons, and what better one than Fall when the natural world begins to go to sleep for winter.”
“Hm, this is so very true my friend,” Wufei pauses before continuing. “It is a beautiful time of the year for you to seek your sleep as well.”
Heero cringes with anger. Wufei shouldn’t be encouraging that sort of talk, maybe if they all showed that they believed Duo was going to live then he would get better.
“Hey Fei can I ask you a favor?”
“Yes of coarse.”
“I’m worried about my Hee-chan.” Duo says with a sadness that stops Heero’s heart a few beats.
“That’s not really a favor Maxwell.” Wufei points out.
“Thanks Fei, I hadn’t realized.” Comes the raspy reply.
“You are welcome.”
“Well you see, I need you to watch out for him for me.”
“I can most assuredly do that for you, but my belief is that once you die you can be reborn and watch out for him yourself, and there is always the fact that you can spiritually watch over him as well.”
“Yeah,” He pauses placing the mask back on to get a little more breath. “But I need someone who can hold him when he’s ready.”
There is a long silence and Heero doesn’t know quite what to do with himself. Why is Duo so worried about that he wonders. Shouldn’t he be more worried about his own immortality? Wufei finds himself speechless staring down at the bed ridden man with sunken dark eyes, IV’s and tubes hanging off his bone thin frame, bald except for a few straggly hairs, and the breathing mask over his nose and mouth. He couldn’t think of one thing to say to him, not one. Heero had never been willing to have bodily contact of any kind from him, and Duo wanted him to promise to hold him?
“Duo… I…”
“You already agreed.” Duo said with an attempt to smile which was ruined by his sunken eyes and the breathing mask.
Duo Maxwell had him there he thought. “That I did.”
***
Heero stared down at the picture in his hands a finger tracing his lovers face. Closing his eyes and resting his head back against the couch he shuttered. Two years today had gone by, and everyday that went by didn’t dull the pain in his heart. He could never get rid of the picture in his mind of those last few moments. How he and Wufei had been the only ones visiting him that last month. How Wufei had left the room to give him privacy as Duo’s body went limp and the monitor went dead. Could never remove the picture of the last light fading from his lover’s eyes, graying out forever.
He hadn’t cried, hadn’t desperately asked for a God to bring him back, hadn’t held him tight and shook him with frustration and pain for his leaving. Only so slowly and reverently had he placed his body back onto the sheets and pillows below him. Traced his fingers over the now closed eyes and his sickly looking cheek, then had placed their wedding ban around his to small of a finger. The wedding ban that he had never been able to give him because he had fallen sick and was now dead. It was best that Duo take it with him to the grave he had thought.
Slowly opening his eyes he realized he was in desperate need of conversation, even comfort he had denied himself of sense his lover died. Looking back down to the picture in his hand his eyes skipped over to the other Asian in the picture. He was the only one he would have ever considered given the fact that nobody else had stayed with them through that time. Wufei had been the only one strong enough then, but would he be strong enough now?
“He-chan, why do you doubt my judgment?” Came the whisper from his memories.
“I-I can’t.” he replied back.
“You need to my love.”
“I need you.”
“I’ll be there I promise.”
“It’s Wufei…. I can’t” He repeated to the empty apartment.
“Yes you can, for me Koi, seek him out for me.”
“He wouldn’t, couldn’t.”
“You know he died that day with me, just like you.”
“No..” Heero choked out tears burning once again at the corners of his eyes. “Nobody died like I did. Nobody understood. Nobody cared.”
“You’re wrong Heero.” Was the last thing he heard before silence fell to the apartment once more.
Heero fell to his knees, and for the first time in two years he cried, sobbed into the carpet, his wails carrying through out the dark and empty apartment. He was alone, so alone. How could Duo have given up? Didn’t he know he couldn’t do anything without him anymore? Hadn’t he known that life was nothing, meaningless with out his smiling face and good humor. How, HOW could he leave him like he had?
That night would find one Heero Yuy sobbing himself to sleep on the cold carpet floor.
Author: Zimmerie Kanoah
Rating: Pg-13
Pairings: 1x2past
Warnings: Death. Yep that’s right one of our beloved Gundom Wing boys is going to die. And this is unbeta-ed. Oh… it post war. Haven’t decided how many years, not sure if it’s really relevant for the plot line.
Genre:Angst
Disclaimer: I own nothing and I am not receiving in profit from the creation of this story. This is purely for entertainment purposes only.
It’s happening all the time when I open my eyes~
I’m still taken by surprise~
I hold sunlight and swallow fireflies~
And it makes me want to cry I love you~
I shall never grow up~
Make believe is too much fun
By Eisley - Brightly Wound
Heero stared down at the white marble tombstone his knees becoming weak beneath his weight, his heart seemingly about to be squeezed into mush, and he found that his breathing was labored as if he was under a wall that had fallen on top of him. He was not a claustrophobic man by nature but out here in the open, with the biting cool air, and the small white flakes falling Heero was finding he felt as though he was in a small box with the air slowly being sucked from the small enclosure. Reaching his black leather clad hand towards the stone in front of him he stops short not able to go the last few inches, knowing that touching the inscription there would only make this so much more real. No, he thinks pulling back and placing his hands back into his flight jacket, far to painful to feel the truth that was clearly in front of him, better to leave it as it was.
“Why?” He chokes out, his breath coming out in a puff, before he stops himself fighting back the tears burning behind his now closed eyelids.
Taking a shuddering breath he steps back, then slowly turns away from the grave pulling the collar of the jacket up and slumping into the little shelter it provides. Heero briskly walks away from the white marble tombstone where his comrade, brother in arms, confidant, and lover lies dead for what was now two years. Still the pain of that day burns him, cuts him deeper than any weapon could ever, had ever done to his physical body. Even the experience of his near death and recovery from it did not compare to the pain he felt daily sense that moment he watched his heart die.
***
Heero looked up from his plate to say something comical to the man across from him only to catch a small drop of blood slowly fall from the other’s nose. He normally wouldn’t have worried but he couldn’t shake that something was wrong, something about the moment itself was out of place.
“Duo?” He asked curiously when Duo had raised his hand to his temple. “Duo are you okay?”
“Yeah,” he replied in a strangled voice.
“Duo,” Heero paused unsure of what to do or say. “Duo your nose is bleeding.”
“Figures…” with that Duo fell from his chair the resounding clonk of his head seemed to echo in the quite shock that followed.
“DUO!” Heero yelled falling to his knees beside his lover, while flipping open his cell, and dialing 911.
***
“So Duo how’s the fight going?” Heero can hear Quatre’s cheery voice fillter in from the other room while he prepares dinner.
“Well the kemo seems to be working, I have to wear this fuckin’ ichy wig, but I can be a brunette one day and then a blonde the next. Hey just think I can totally go all out for Holloween this year!” Duo rambled off.
Heero knew the man was hurting, but he kept it well hidden from everyone. Crying at night, the headaches, the presisting nose bleeds, the nausea , and his over all weakness was killing Duo more than the cancer itself. He sighed, as he listened to Duo chattering on about things that weren’t all that relevant to his current situation, and Quatre kindly stayed away from what was painful for Duo to talk about.
A year now, a whole year and still no improvement, none. Heero’s eyes narrow momentarily while he places the plates down on the table. The doctors continued to say any day Duo would start to get better, but he was starting to have his doubts, and when he looked into his lovers eyes he could tell that Duo was losing faith as well. He wasn’t so sure how much longer he would be able to handle this, and he wasn’t even the one going through the painful kemo and body damage. Looking up at his Duo he smiled, his lover was much more than anyone ever gave the former pilot credit for.
***
Heero swallowed the lump in his throat, closed his eyes tightly, and clasped his shakey hands together before speaking back to the doctor. “But you said he would get better this time, you were so sure.”
“Yes well it seems that his body, given his youth , couldn’t take it. His body has had the opposite reaction to the therapy than was intended.” She answered clinically.
“What do you mean by that?”
“Instead of attacking the cancer, his body has begun to attack itself. He will live out the rest of his life in great pain while his body kills itself.”
“I see.” Was all Heero could grind out .
Turning away from her calm, and uncaring demeanor he walked out into the spring air. Duo’s favorite season, he always yammered on about how it was the season of rebirth and renewal. Yet his lover was going to die and his death started in this season, this season of happiness and sunshine. Heero punched the brick wall of the building to ease the inner pain with some of the physical, this spring was and the ones after it would always mean death and heart ache to him.
***
He sat just outside of the room, which was cracked open, listening to the conversation going on within. Wufei had come to visit today and had all but brought the life back into his Duo. Wufei always had that effect on people oddly enough. One would think, while looking at the group of them, it would be Quatre, but it was Wufei with his strong sense of self, and love for those he held dear to his heart. Even young children loved him, which is what Duo loved most about his best friend.
“Neh, how poetic is this Fei?” Duo rasped out lifting the breathing mask to be heard.
“Whatever do you mean by that Maxwell?”
“Oh, only that it’s poetic I’m dieing with the change of seasons, and what better one than Fall when the natural world begins to go to sleep for winter.”
“Hm, this is so very true my friend,” Wufei pauses before continuing. “It is a beautiful time of the year for you to seek your sleep as well.”
Heero cringes with anger. Wufei shouldn’t be encouraging that sort of talk, maybe if they all showed that they believed Duo was going to live then he would get better.
“Hey Fei can I ask you a favor?”
“Yes of coarse.”
“I’m worried about my Hee-chan.” Duo says with a sadness that stops Heero’s heart a few beats.
“That’s not really a favor Maxwell.” Wufei points out.
“Thanks Fei, I hadn’t realized.” Comes the raspy reply.
“You are welcome.”
“Well you see, I need you to watch out for him for me.”
“I can most assuredly do that for you, but my belief is that once you die you can be reborn and watch out for him yourself, and there is always the fact that you can spiritually watch over him as well.”
“Yeah,” He pauses placing the mask back on to get a little more breath. “But I need someone who can hold him when he’s ready.”
There is a long silence and Heero doesn’t know quite what to do with himself. Why is Duo so worried about that he wonders. Shouldn’t he be more worried about his own immortality? Wufei finds himself speechless staring down at the bed ridden man with sunken dark eyes, IV’s and tubes hanging off his bone thin frame, bald except for a few straggly hairs, and the breathing mask over his nose and mouth. He couldn’t think of one thing to say to him, not one. Heero had never been willing to have bodily contact of any kind from him, and Duo wanted him to promise to hold him?
“Duo… I…”
“You already agreed.” Duo said with an attempt to smile which was ruined by his sunken eyes and the breathing mask.
Duo Maxwell had him there he thought. “That I did.”
***
Heero stared down at the picture in his hands a finger tracing his lovers face. Closing his eyes and resting his head back against the couch he shuttered. Two years today had gone by, and everyday that went by didn’t dull the pain in his heart. He could never get rid of the picture in his mind of those last few moments. How he and Wufei had been the only ones visiting him that last month. How Wufei had left the room to give him privacy as Duo’s body went limp and the monitor went dead. Could never remove the picture of the last light fading from his lover’s eyes, graying out forever.
He hadn’t cried, hadn’t desperately asked for a God to bring him back, hadn’t held him tight and shook him with frustration and pain for his leaving. Only so slowly and reverently had he placed his body back onto the sheets and pillows below him. Traced his fingers over the now closed eyes and his sickly looking cheek, then had placed their wedding ban around his to small of a finger. The wedding ban that he had never been able to give him because he had fallen sick and was now dead. It was best that Duo take it with him to the grave he had thought.
Slowly opening his eyes he realized he was in desperate need of conversation, even comfort he had denied himself of sense his lover died. Looking back down to the picture in his hand his eyes skipped over to the other Asian in the picture. He was the only one he would have ever considered given the fact that nobody else had stayed with them through that time. Wufei had been the only one strong enough then, but would he be strong enough now?
“He-chan, why do you doubt my judgment?” Came the whisper from his memories.
“I-I can’t.” he replied back.
“You need to my love.”
“I need you.”
“I’ll be there I promise.”
“It’s Wufei…. I can’t” He repeated to the empty apartment.
“Yes you can, for me Koi, seek him out for me.”
“He wouldn’t, couldn’t.”
“You know he died that day with me, just like you.”
“No..” Heero choked out tears burning once again at the corners of his eyes. “Nobody died like I did. Nobody understood. Nobody cared.”
“You’re wrong Heero.” Was the last thing he heard before silence fell to the apartment once more.
Heero fell to his knees, and for the first time in two years he cried, sobbed into the carpet, his wails carrying through out the dark and empty apartment. He was alone, so alone. How could Duo have given up? Didn’t he know he couldn’t do anything without him anymore? Hadn’t he known that life was nothing, meaningless with out his smiling face and good humor. How, HOW could he leave him like he had?
That night would find one Heero Yuy sobbing himself to sleep on the cold carpet floor.