Sleep's a Privilege, Not a Right | By : shinigamiinochi Category: Gundam Wing/AC > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1610 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing/AC, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Title: Sleep’s a Privilege,
Not a Right
Pairings: OCx2, 1x2, 3+4.
Warnings: NCS, fluff, yaoi, lemon, angst, language, flips back and forth in time.
Rating: NC-17
Notes:
Holy shit, this is the first fic I ever wrote! Man, that was like, seven years ago! How time flies.
Part 1: Build-Up
Duo sighed in defeat. He was cold and tired. His ribs and
head hurt. He was sick and tired of his life. There was only one thing worth
living for and he was with her. He sighed again.
‘Why even bother trying? It’s not like he actually cares
about me or anything. I should just give up.’ So he did. He collapsed on the
bed and just as his eyes began to close-
“MAXWELL! Get your ass down here! We need to talk to you!”
“Fuck. What do they want now?” Duo
didn’t move. He would just lie here until he was gone. Mentally,
physically, and emotionally. Hell, he already felt emotionally dead.
Actually, he didn’t feel anything anymore, just pain…
“Tell us where the Gundam is,”
the interrogator demanded for the third time. Duo just blinked at him, though
inside he was screaming in pain. When would these three idiots understand that
drugs just didn’t work on him? Still, the mix they had given him hurt like
hell! It felt like there was something in his blood, something that felt like magma, that was slowly trying to burn its way through his
skin. They had already given him a concussion and several broken ribs, but it
would take a lot more than that to get him to talk.
Suddenly, the black-haired interrogator threw a chair at a
spot on the wall a few feet from Duo’s head. Duo winced. He marched over to the
security camera and turned it off. Duo felt his stomach sink in nervous
anticipation.
“That’s it, we do it my way now.”
He sneered at Duo.
“One more chance to give us answers.”
Duo just glared up at the much taller man in defiance. He grinned.
“Good, more fun for us.” The two guards’ smiles matched the
other man’s. The interrogator, Imanti, grabbed Duo by
the hair and shoulder and slammed him against the wall so that his back was
facing him.
‘Oh, shit shitshitshit, he’s gonna…,’ Duo heard Imanti start
to unbuckle his pants.
‘At least you’re not a virgin,’ a voice in Duo’s head
supplied. Duo would have kicked, screamed, and cried, but he hated the man too
much. He would never give them the privilege of seeing him cry. He would act
calm and collected, though at the moment he felt like a helpless child.
Something, Duo presumed it was a belt, wrapped around Duo’s
hands, which were forced to his back. He felt a knife cut away his jeans and Imanti threw them away. He had to bite back a whimper as
calloused hands pulled down his boxers to his knees, restraining his legs. He
squeezed his eyes shut as those hands roamed over his bare buttocks. He had
never felt so exposed. Silently, Duo wished he would just get it over with, but
as the man’s thick cock thrust into his unprepared channel, he retracted that
wish. The waiting, the tightness in his chest, all of it was infinitely better
than the feeling of an unwanted penis deep inside him, tearing him. He wanted
to cry when he felt blood run down his thighs. He wanted to cry when the man’s
grip on his hair tightened. He wanted to cry when Imanti
thrust deeply into him and he could feel every agonizing inch of his length
inside of the most private part of his body. But, the tears never came. And
while this filthy monster was raping his body, Duo was thinking: ‘Right now,
Heero is probably sitting down at that wooden table in the kitchen at the safe
house, eating chicken soup from the can. He’s safe and warm. He doesn’t know,
and even if he did, he probably wouldn’t care.’ The hands were back, different
ones this time. So many hands… he wanted to shut down, but every one of his
senses was hyperactive. He had thought that being in a situation like this
would be blurry, but everything was so sharp.
He knew, somehow, that the hands slipping under his shirt were those of one of
the two guards. They traced his spine lightly, it would have been erotic, but
it made him feel so dirty…
“Who knew boys could have such soft skin?” A voice mused.
Duo didn’t know when the pain melted away into darkness. He
felt the pain inside him change over and over as his body was used in ways he
had once thought impossible. Kinky bastards…
‘They’re taking turns…,’ he thought. But, it didn’t matter.
And finally, the darkness came, but the pain never stopped.
They waited patiently for Duo to come downstairs, but he
never did. Trowa knew in his heart that he wouldn’t,
not after the way he had been acting lately. The American was so quiet, shying
away from their touches, which before had been commonplace and Duo had loved it
once. But now, it seemed that he was afraid of it. He didn’t come down for
meals. Quatre thought that he was eating either after or before them, but Trowa knew the truth. Their friend wasn’t eating at all. Or sleeping for that matter. He could hear him walking the
halls late at night. The first night Duo had started displaying this behavior,
he had woken up screaming. This soon stopped. Stopped because
Duo was taking pills, caffeine pills, no doubt. He was getting paler,
thinner, and scared, Trowa could see that. He was
shaking all the time now. At first Wufei had tried to
get him to act like his normal self by bantering him, which was also very
normal. Duo simply ignored him. Wufei finally got too
frustrated and slapped him, hoping it would snap him out of it. It had the
opposite affect, Duo just sunk deeper into himself.
All of this had started when he had gotten back from his mission. That day… Trowa shuddered, Duo had… but he couldn’t think of that,
not now. Something was horribly wrong, and it was going to take a hell of a lot
more than talk to fix things this time around…
Quatre wasn’t sure when Heero and Duo
started to have sex. No, that wasn’t right… it wasn’t just sex between them.
They were very intimate with each other, but they never once said those
two-to-three words and Quatre wasn’t sure that they knew exactly how the other
felt. It was so frustrating watching them dance around
it. But then that night when Duo had come home… Quatre had a sinking feeling
that the two had finally lost their chance.
Trowa opened the bathroom door
and gasped.
“Duo?!” Duo looked up at him from
where he was sitting, his legs splayed under him. His eyes were scared and lost
not just a little bit sorrowful.
“Trow… help….”
Trowa was scared, something he
would not admit, even to Quatre. He was scared for Duo, not knowing how the
smaller pilot was going to continue to handle the horrors of his past. But,
most of all, he was angry. Angry at Heero. When Duo
had come home, Heero had-
“Maybe we should go check on him,” Quatre edged towards the
steps. Trowa stopped him by putting a hand on his
lover’s shoulder.
“Leave him alone. Let him sleep, he needs and deserves it.”
“Yeah, I guess,” Quatre murmured.
“The only thing Maxwell needs,” Wufei
snorted, “is a good kick to the head.” If only what was wrong with Maxwell could be cured by a kick in the head…
but it wasn’t that simple. He had never had to deal with something like this
before and he didn’t have the slightest idea of how to proceed. He wanted to go
on acting like everything was normal, but he couldn’t. And to do so would be
dishonorable to Maxwell. A while ago, Wufei would
have done anything to snap Duo out of it for the mission. But, for whatever
reason, the five of them had formed a bond and now Wufei
just wanted his friend back. He missed Duo’s jokes and smiles and banter, even
though he pretended otherwise.
“Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to get his lazy ass down
here now!” ‘And hopefully get some
answers as well.’
“I’ll go check on him,” Quatre said,
beating him to the stairs. Trowa wanted to stop him,
didn’t want his innocent love to know, but Quatre and Heero were the only ones
left that could do anything and Heero was…
Duo was lying with his head down on the pillow, his arms
hugging it like a teddy bear. Quatre noted with sadness that the pillow and bed
were actually Heero’s, since Duo always ended up using Heero for a pillow
instead. Quatre looked down at Duo’s thin, lithe body.
‘He’s lost a bit of weight in the last three days. Oh,
Heero, how could you do this to him? How could you be so heartless?’ Quatre ran
a hand over Duo’s shoulder. Duo’s head turned to look at him with dull eyes.
“What is it?” He murmured. Quatre smiled softly at him and
sat in the middle of the bed. He opened his arms wide.
‘C’mere.” Duo weakly untangled
himself from the covers and crawled over onto Quatre’s lap, letting his best
friend embrace him. Duo reveled in the other boy’s warmth. Quatre stroked his
hair and back lightly.
“Won’t you tell me what’s wrong?” Duo simply burrowed
deeper into the hug.
“I understand. But, Duo,” the blonde laid his head on top
of Duo’s, “no matter what happens, we’ll always be here for you, ok? If you
ever need to talk, or if you just want something like this, don’t be afraid to
ask.” Duo’s tense muscles relaxed, Quatre’s words banishing some of his fears.
“Is there anything you want?”
“Heero.”
“Trow… help…,” Duo whimpered. Trowa looked down helplessly at the other youth, who was
sitting in a puddle of blood. He didn’t bother asking how or why, the mercenary
in him already knew, but the human part of him, the part Quatre loved the most,
didn’t want to come to terms with it. He wanted to scream at Duo for letting
Heero hurt him, for not confronting anyone. Instead, he smiled gently at him
and kneeled down next to him.
“Hai.
Let’s get this cleaned up.”
It had become a tradition for them. Unless something
important came up, when one of them came back from a mission, they would be
greeted with warm, comforting arms, it kept them sane. But, when Duo came back
that night, there was no comfort, not even in the lure of sleep.
Duo, dressed only in his black boxers, curled tightly around
himself in the corner of his cell, his body having gone numb quite a while ago,
he didn’t seem to register the cold, yet every so often he would shiver. He
desperately tried to shrink away from the shifting shadows in his metal box of
a prison. A detached part of him wondered how shadows could exist in a place
completely devoid of light. He couldn’t tell how long it had been since the
first time his captors had raped him. It seemed so long ago, but the logical
part of him, the part whose voice was getting weaker and weaker, assured him
that it had only been a few days. Deep inside, though he was broken in every
sense of the word, Duo knew he had to escape. His captors thought that he was
long gone, and though that was true, he was still, somehow, capable of
fighting. He just needed to make it back to the safe house and everything would
be alright, at least that’s what he told himself, though he knew that it was
quite possible that things would never be alright again.
End Chapter 1
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