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Even If This Kills Me	By : Alima8314 Category: Fullmetal Alchemist > General Views: 2147 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Alchemist, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Even If This Kills Me
- 1
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- Even If This Kills Me -

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Disclaimer: I thought long and hard about it, and I decided that I don’t really want to own FMA. That would be too much work, and I’m lazy. I don’t make any money from anything I write. In fact, I often lose money because I have to buy research material. Research material being the manga, the anime, and my internet connection. I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist, nor am I affiliated in any way with the copyright owners of Fullmetal Alchemist. Fullmetal Alchemist’s story and characters are copyrighted to Hiromu Arakawa and the various companies who produced the manga, anime and merchandise. But, I do own the dream that inspired this little... story.
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Synopsis: Edward would endure ANYTHING to restore his younger brother to flesh. ANYTHING. The gate is cruel. The gate is abusive. The gate broke him.
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A/N: (Read at your own discretion) - Restoration!Fic/PWP/Tentacle porn/rape. (Almost... This is the closest thing to a PWP anyone is going to get out of me) (This is supposed to be Non-Con/Dub-Con... But I don't think I did it right...). Oneshot. Complete. OOC? Parental!Roy. Plot divergence starting from Manga Chapter 75º. Manga spoilers. (Mostly) Manga as canon, so... Hints of Ed/Winry (even though it’s only mentioned once or twice). Well, actually, it’s kind of a mix of manga and anime aspects. AU, at least, in my mind. Considering the time frame that Fullmetal Alchemist is set in, and the level of technology, I’m of the opinion that the age of majority/consent is sixteen. However, in this story, I raised the age to eighteen. I don’t really like the ending, but I was trying to find closure so I could end this story. Please, read and review! Flames will be ignored.
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Special Thanks to: xfacexthisx (FFnet), for helping me come up with a title.
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Ages:

Ed - 17

Al - 16

Roy - 31

The Gate - Ageless

"Brother, are you sure this will work?" Al asked anxiously, his concern obvious by the wringing of his hollow leather hands. He trusted his brother, with all of his being, but he still couldn't suppress a twinge of doubt.

Edward looked up from his place on the floor, where he was drawing a complex array. "Don’t worry. I promise this will work. I will get your body back." Ed’s voice rang with conviction. He’d devoted the last six years of his life to finding a way to restore his younger sibling to flesh, even going so far as to sell himself to the military. Edward smiled at the memory of the hard work he’d gone through just so he could stand here today.

Of course, Edward would be cheating a bit, but he wouldn’t let Al know that. No, only he and Colonel Mustang were aware of the small red sliver the seventeen-year-old alchemist had in his possession. He patted his pocket again. He’d lost count of how many times he’d made sure he still had the small box, but it seemed to him that he would wake up at any moment, and the past year would have been a dream.

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(BEGIN FLASHBACK)

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He’d obtained the stone after he had gotten down from Mt. Briggs. Mustang had gone to the hospital he was recuperating at to pick him up and take him home. The nurse had simply handed Edward a paper bag full of his effects when the blond signed himself out of the hospital.

"Al’s at my place right now, waiting for you. That’s where we’re going," the dark-haired alchemist spoke softly as the pair made their way to the waiting car.

"That’s fine," Edward answered as he sat in the passenger seat. He set the bag on the floorboard between his knees and waited for his superior to get in. Once Mustang was settled behind the wheel, Edward began rummaging through his belongings. "What’s this?" he wondered aloud as his fingers discovered a small box. Pulling it out, he glanced over at Mustang, who shrugged.

"Open it."

Edward examined the small box once more. It looked like the kind of box a ring came in, but Edward didn’t wear rings. He wondered for a moment if it belonged to someone else, and ended up in his things by mistake. ‘Oh well, only one way to find out... ’ he thought as he flipped the box open.

Lying on a small pillow of black velvet was a tiny red stone, which seemed to glow with an unnatural light. Edward turned a wide-eyed gaze to the older man, who looked just as shocked.

"Edward... That’s... " Roy started, his hands gripping the steering wheel so tightly, his knuckles had turned white. He had only seen a stone like that once before, when he fought in the Ishbal Rebellion.

The teen could only nod. Where had this stone come from, and why did he have it? He recognized the shard as the one he had knocked from Kimblee’s hand when they fought in an abandoned building on the unforgiving mountain. Edward shuddered when he remembered the outcome of that fight, and how he ended up impaled on a rusty steel girder. He continued to stare at the box and its contents, not believing he had the stone he had thought lost in the explosion that ended the fight. His body began shaking, and the stone danced on its pillow.

Mustang reached over the snapped the lid shut. "It won’t do any good if any passersby were to see that, you know."

"Colonel? How did I end up in the hospital anyway? I only remember passing out before I woke up a few days ago," Edward asked when he found his voice again.

"The doctor told me two men carried you in. You were half-dead, Ed-Fullmetal. What happened?!" Mustang demanded, trying to hold his anger and worry in check as he started the car and drove to his house.

Edward dropped the box back into the bag and stared out the window at the passing scenery. "I’ll tell you... I’ll tell everyone when we get to your place. Is that okay?"

Mustang grunted in affirmation. "Alright. But for now, let’s keep the stone secret."

"I had planned on it."

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(END FLASHBACK)

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Edward focused on the task at hand, shaking his head as if to clear it. Mustang had been horrified over what Edward had somehow lived though, and Ed thought the colonel was going to cry after the story had been told. However, it did him no good to dwell on how he got the stone. He had it, and he was going to use it to get his brother back, and Al need never know.

"Brother? Are you okay?" Al’s worried voice echoed in the cold basement. Mustang had volunteered his house so Edward could attempt the forbidden human alchemy one last time in relative safety.

Edward looked up at the imposing suit of armor that housed the soul of his younger brother. “Yeah, Al. I’m fine. I was just... doing some last minute calculations before we went through with this. You know, making sure we had everything we needed." The blond prodigy smiled broadly. "Well, we have everything, and I’m ready when you are," he stated, gestured toward the center of the large circle.

Alphonse stepped into the array, being careful not to smudge the intricate runes and fine lines that it consisted of.

"Don’t worry, Alphonse. I’m here as back up if anything goes wrong. Remember, I studied human alchemy for a while myself, after the war," The Flame Alchemist spoke from his spot on the basement steps.

Al continued to wring his hands. "With all respect, you haven’t studied it as extensively as Edward or myself, sir, nor for nearly as long as we have."

Mustang chuckled. "I see your point."

“Ready, Al?” Edward asked as he walked over to the edge of the circle and knelt down.

Al turned slowly. “Yeah... I guess so.”

Edward brought his hands together and held them over the chalk lines. “This is your last chance to back out.”

“Let’s do this, Brother.”

The blond teen smiled sadly as he closed the last couple inches between his palms and the floor. “See you on the other side, Al.”

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The blond teen stood before an ornately carved stone door, the only landmark within miles of unending whiteness. He looked around for the body that was sitting there before, but Al’s flesh was nowhere to be seen. Edward sighed and dropped his eyes to the floor. “It’s gone... He’s gone... This was all in vain. I’m sorry Al, I wasn’t able to keep my promise.”
This is the fourth time you've been to see me, Alchemist. I've let your meager fees slide before, but this time, you've trespassed on my domain overmuch. Now you will have to pay the price I state. The disembodied voice whispered in Edward’s mind, sending a chill across his skin, as the large stone doors slowly creaked open.

Edward swallowed nervously as he mentally calculated how much more of his body he could give up and continue living. "I’m willing to pay anything... I just want Al to have his body back. Six years is too long for him to have been stuck in that armor." The blond choked on a sob. "Even if this kills me, I’m willing... Al’s happiness is my only wish." It had been hell to learn how to use one auto-mail leg, and he dreaded the thought of learning how to use two mechanical legs. But, he remembered suddenly, his friend Paninya had been able to do it, and if the loss was for Alphonse’s sake, then he would learn to be just as good, if not better, than that annoying woman.

That’s what I wanted to hear... He looked down with wide eyes when he felt something wrap around his leg and tighten, crying out in shock as he watched the dark arm-shaped tendrils slither up his right leg. He hadn’t noticed their escape from the open portal, and his lack of attention scared him momentarily.

Ed’s eyes opened wider as he watched his pant legs dissolve when the dark hands touched the fabric, leaving his skin exposed to the cool air. He tried to kick the arms away, but tripped himself in the process. "N-nooo... " he moaned frightfully as he fell. Before he got too far off-balance, the slithering arms tightened around him and kept him upright.

Remember, you said you would pay any price I asked.

"I know... I know... I’m... I’m scared... " the teen wailed as the darkness continued to travel up his body, shivering when it caressed the inside of his thighs. His clothing continued to disappear, and Edward, though no one was around to view his increasing nudity, attempted to pull his shirt down to cover his exposed groin. "What do you want from me?" Edward choked out.

The darkness wouldn’t allow Edward to be so modest. As it traveled up and around his hips, it squeezed the teen’s sensitive flesh lightly, almost experimentally. Other hands crept across the soft skin of his lower back and buttocks, tickling the youth in their grasp. I’m still looking for what I want...

"Ahhh... " Edward moaned involuntarily as the tiny hands teased him into hardness. "Ah... S-stop... Please... "

You want your brother back, don’t you?

Edward’s legs were shaking by this point, and he wanted more than anything to fall to his knees. However, the darkness kept him upright. "Yes, I need to restore Al... I promised... " he answered shakily.

Yes... You promised...

The darkness slid over the lithe body and gently squeezed and pulsed around the teen’s responsive body. The darkness could feel the boy fighting, and so made its movements on the body harsher, bruising the delicate skin.

Behave. This doesn’t have to hurt. The voice said as the darkness tightened uncomfortably. Edward could feel his ribs cracking. I don’t want to hurt you.

“I’m sorry... ” the young alchemist whimpered. He feared being absorbed by the darkness. ‘This must have been what Al felt like... That night... When the gate took his body... Was he as scared as I am now?’

You love me, Edward Elric. Of all the alchemists in the world, you’ve come to see me the most... This must mean you love me...

The blond was panting as the hands made their way over his chest, where they played with his nipples. "No... I don’t. I don’t love you. You took everything from me. You took my brother... I don’t love you, I love Winry!" he proclaimed loudly, brushing his hands across his chest, hoping to knock the hands away, but failing.

Don’t leave me. I’m lonely... So lonely... Please, stay...

The darkness wound its way over his body, covering him until it became like a second skin. Edward stiffened at first, but realized the darkness meant him no permanent physical harm. So, he relaxed, but was still wary, opening his mouth to let out a sigh of relief. Taking advantage of this, the baby-like hands danced their fingers over his lips. The young alchemist tried to close his mouth, but found that the tendrils could change their thickness at will.

Relax, dear alchemist. Relax, I will not hurt you if you simply relax.

The darkness wrapped around his arms and held them to his sides. Edward tensed when he felt the small fingers exploring his body intimately. "Hey... "

You have such a lovely body. I wish I had a body as nice as yours. I wish I had a body...

The teen laughed, but his breath caught in his throat when the chubby fingers pushed their way into his backside and applied pressure to something in his body that made his knees go weak.

“Ah!” The blond cried out as waves of unexpected pleasure coursed through his body, heading straight to his groin.

Did you like that?

Unable to speak, Edward merely nodded. He reluctantly admitted to himself that he had enjoyed it immensely and wished it would happen again.

As if in response to the silent request, the tendril expanded inside the teen, stretching the opening and causing him to cry out in pain.

“Stop!”

I’ve decided on my price. I want you, dear alchemist. You will be a tasty snack, and it’s been so very long since the last time...

“Me?” The prodigy fell to his knees, all hope lost. If the gate wanted him, then he would never see his brother again. With that revelation, he gave up his will to fight.

I want your body. I want you. The tendrils released the teen’s arms, allowing him some control over his movement again.

“Take me, then! I don’t care anymore! I’ll never see anyone I love again, anyway!” Edward cried out, his heart breaking. He leaned forward and supported himself on his palms. He tried to lie down completely, but the blackness held him up, embracing him almost lovingly.

It’s not like that...

The teen tried to ignore the warmth surrounding him. “Then, what’s it going to be? Am I going to stay here forever?”

No... It wasn’t a spoken word, but a concept Edward perceived somewhere deep inside himself. Once the price is paid, you may leave... The darkness rippled over the body it held, paying special attention to the teen’s straining erection, which was already dripping with precum.

“Stop it! I don’t want this! It’s not supposed to... to... feel... so good... It’s not! Oh, please, stop!” Edward lamented when he found himself bucking his hips into the undulating sensation. “I don’t...”

But you like it, my dear alchemist...

“No! I... Ah!” the teen’s hands slipped and he collapsed, landing on his elbows when a miniature hand slipped through his entrance again, moving in and out of him. The tentacle’s girth grew bigger as it sensed the teen becoming accustomed to the thrusts, stretching until the cries of pleasure turned into pain once more.

The tendril narrowed slightly, still thrusting slowly in and out of the boy, being sure to caress the tight bundle of nerves inside the quivering body. The gate truly didn’t want to hurt the young alchemist, but the poor dear really did need to learn a lesson. Not many alchemists got as many chances as this golden child did, but the truth sensed something special about the youngster, and was attracted to whatever it was time and again.

The blackness relished the delicious sounds the teen was making as it continued to thrust into the warm depths. Every movement, every sound, every tear, everything the boy did to fight off the pleasure made the gate hunger for more. However, the gate never took more that what was owed, and after it had finished receiving payment from Edward Elric, the lad would be free to go on his way.

Please don’t fight me... You owe me for all the times you’ve been here and survived... Tears streaked down Edward’s cheeks and he gagged as one of the hands entered his mouth again. I don’t want to hear you screaming in pain. I only want to hear sounds of joy from you.

The teen, breathing heavily through his nose, nodded in understanding, giving up his fight. ‘The sooner this is over with, the sooner I can leave...’ “Ah!” he cried around the invading tendril when the probe thrust harder into him, sensing his nearing release, attacking his prostate. Edward was teetering closer to the edge, lost in the sensations that were new to him, and he didn’t know how much longer he could keep control. If the pounding of his backside wasn’t enough to make him snap, the rolling pressure on his erection would be. The hand left his mouth as Edward clenched down, choking on a throaty cry as he released his seed into the waiting abyss that enclosed him.

The gate kept on rocking the quaking man-child in its grasp, milking every drop of pleasure from him. That was wonderful, child. Splendid, you have paid your debt in full. Once the teen’s release was complete and the boy had become as limp as a rag doll from the encounter, the many arms streaming from the open gate carefully turned the youth over and laid him on his back.

Edward cracked open an eye and looked over his body as the dark arms melted away from his body. He struggled to sit up when he saw that his auto-mail limbs had been replaced with his missing flesh. "But why? I only asked for Al’s body... "

Even if you won’t love me, I love you, my dearest alchemist. The voice whispered from behind the closing doors.

That was the last thing Edward heard before being engulfed in the brightest of lights.

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“Wake up!” The dark-haired alchemist shook Edward by the shoulder. He had been trying desperately to rouse him for the past half hour, and was beginning to get worried.

When the teen finally opened his eyes, he ran his hands over his body, looking surprised about something. He lifted his arms up and stared in awe at his right arm. “It’s really back... ” he whispered before attacking his left pant leg, rolling it up to reveal a flesh leg. Scanning the room, he spied his auto-mail laying discarded on the floor beside him. “What happened? Did everything work out? Where’s Al?” the blond bombarded the older man with questions.

“You’ve been asleep for over an hour, Ed. I thought you had died when you touched the circle. Your eyes rolled up and you fell forward. You scared me. But you’re okay!” Roy clapped Edward on the back in congratulations. “Way to go! I knew you’d pull it off, though.” He then stood up and strode over to the younger boy who lay in the middle of the array, stepping past now lifeless armor. “Alphonse? You awake yet?” After the boy had materialized, and the crimson glow had faded, Roy had thrown a light blanket over the prone body after being sure he was alive. He had been afraid of touching Al for fear of causing damage, and so decided to wait for Edward to wake up. Bronze-colored eyes opened slowly and blinked a couple times, trying to focus on the man hovering over him.

Once the older man’s back was turned, Edward curled into a ball in the middle of the floor. "Don’t look at me! I’m dirty! Don’t look at me... Please... " he whimpered, almost inaudibly.

Mustang turned his attention from the younger Elric, who he was trying to help dress with the clothes he had set beside the boy earlier. "Ed? Did you say something?"

"No!" the blond wrapped his head in his arms and sobbed. "The price was too much. Too much."

"Brother... " Al whispered, not used to speaking with real vocal chords. "Brother, it’s okay. We’re both back, and we’re both whole again. This is a happy day." He motioned for Mustang to help him over to his older sibling, not trusting himself to stand yet.

The dark-haired man picked up the boy and carried him bridal-style over to the crying teen. Kneeling, he carefully placed Al on the hard floor and propped him into a sitting position with one hand, while reaching out to the Fullmetal Alchemist with the other. "Edward. Please, talk to us. We are here for you."

"DON’T TOUCH ME!" The older blond screamed, flinching away from the comforting hand his commanding officer had extended. He scooted back until he was huddled in a corner. He hugged his knees to his chest and choked on his sobs, mentally telling himself to be a pillar of strength for Alphonse. ‘Al won’t respect me if I cry over my weakness... ’

Mustang cleared his throat. "Edward, will you please stop acting like a scared little bunny?" he asked, hoping the teen would revert to his usual self and rant at him for using the ‘l’ word.

Instead, Edward tore the silver watch from his pocket and thrust it into Mustang’s hands. "I won’t do alchemy anymore! I can’t risk it. It was horrible! I can’t do it anymore. Please understand."

Mustang furrowed his brow. "And how will you support yourselves if you leave the military?"

"Adopt us!”

“What? I can’t adopt you,” Mustang said. “You’re a member of the military, which means you’re emancipated.”

Edward looked at his younger brother. “Then, adopt Al. Please? It’s only for two years.”

Mustang sighed, bringing a hand to his brow. “Edward... Why don’t you adopt him? You’re legally an adult, you have the right and the ability. If anything else, you could become his legal guardian.”

“But, what if they try to take him from me? What if they won’t let me because I’m not eighteen yet?” The older blond wailed, leaning forward and grabbing fistfuls of his commander’s shirt.

The raven-haired man reached down and took hold of the hands tangled in his clothing. “Edward, you’re going to need an income to take care of yourself and Alphonse. You can still be in the military even if you refuse to perform alchemy.”

“How?” Ed asked, forgetting his previous fear of being touched. His mind was elsewhere at the moment, trying to plan ahead for the new life he and his brother were about to lead.

“Take a desk job, like Hughes did. You’re good at doing research, maybe you can get a job in the Investigation Department. I can put in a reference for you. But, only if you are the adult I know you can be and step up to the responsibility in front of you. Okay?”

Al cleared his throat, slightly miffed that he had been ignored. “It sounds like a good idea, Brother. I think you should do it.”

Edward turned his golden eyes toward the younger teen. “You really think so, Al? Is this what you want me to do?” His brother’s honey colored head bobbing up and down in affirmation answered his question. He looked back at the colonel, who had released his wrists during the exchange. “Okay. I’ll... I’ll do it. Will you help me?”

Mustang smiled and hugged both boys close. “Of course I will. Haven’t I always been there for you before?”
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Even If This Kills Me