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The Letter	By : shinigamiinochi Category: Gundam Wing/AC > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 474 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing/AC, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-The Letter
- 1
The Letter

Pairings: 1x2

Warnings: Angst, one shot,
sap, language, Duo POV.

Summary: Duo writes a letter
to Heero describing his feelings.

�� Heero,

�� I honestly cannot remember a time when
I could not smell the aroma of burning flesh or fresh blood by the gallons in
my nightmares. I thought it would follow me forever, it figures that a kin of
mine would be able to drive it all away. When I closed my eyes just yesterday,
I could hear the sounds of suffering, pain, and death and was greeted to
horrific sights you could not even see in the goriest of horror movies. And the
worst part of all was that it was not a part of my over-active imagination, but
something I had caused; a reality. When I met you, I never thought you would
turn out to be a friend, let alone that.
It first happened after that incident with the Alliance Pacifists. I can still
feel your fingers caressing my skin, driving me crazy, yet, bringing me closer to
heaven with each sensually caring touch. Despite the fact that we were two
battle driven soldiers in the midst of a war, that was the most passionate,
loving thing I had ever felt, especially coming from you. You were so gentle
and patient with me, I think you were afraid of hurting me. I was afraid to
tell you then that, though I had lived on the streets, up until that night I
had been a virgin. Later you nearly died and for a long time I thought you had.
That�s how I got these scars on my wrists. Even then, I refused to admit to
even myself why I had to do it. But I wasn�t alone and was saved. Now I�m glad
that happened. It would have sucked to have died and never experienced all that
had happened later on. I�m writing all this to you now because I�m too much of
a coward to say it to your face. Go figure. Anyway, I was so relieved to see
you when I was captured, I didn�t even care you were pointing a gun at my face.
You saved me anyway though you probably should have killed me. That was the
second time I actually had proof you had emotions just like everyone else. I
was pretty banged up so I don�t exactly remember much, though I did have some
pretty weird dreams. Then you left me behind again. My heart told me it was
because you didn�t want me to get hurt anymore, but I figured it was more
because you didn�t want some beat up liability slowing you down that you would
have to look after. I didn�t get to see you again until I was purposefully
captured on the moon. You yelled at me a lot, not to mention called me names
and insulted me in every way. But, soon enough, you left me behind once again.
And, once again, it was a very long time before we could be together. I wasn�t
really sure of what you thought of me. If I was just a
convenient lay or something more. I�d be lying if I said I didn�t care
either way, so I won�t. But I still didn�t say anything. So, I have to ask you
now, which is it, truthfully? We no longer have to run away from each other, or
rather you no longer have an excuse to hide your feelings, if any, or perhaps
that Dorlian chick is more your type, huh? I�ll
probably end up at L2 sooner or later. Back where it started. How ironic. The
one place I thought I never wanted to be a part of ever again has now become my
only home. I had hoped we, all five of us, would stay
together when all of this chaos was over, but that was a terribly childish
idea. We are far too different. Quatre must go to L4 to gain his leadership of
WEI. Trowa belongs to his circus. It seems that only
Wufei and I have no real obligations, nor a true �home�. You�ll no doubt become
�Lena�s bodyguard or something. I only have a
week and a half before this new government decides to come for us and I�ll be
gone before then. A week, seven days exactly. If I had
the courage, I would have come to you days before. It was also childish of me
to believe that there would be a true relationship between you and I now. I guess that�s why I am so
anxious as to what your decision will be. I won�t blame you for leaving or
letting me go without a word. It would make sense, I am only a street rat,
after all, and stuff like this never happens to people like me. You probably
think I am being childish by writing a fuckin� love
letter to you, but I simply can not let this go so easily. I can no longer hope
for the best. I hate these thoughts but I sometimes wish that the war had never
ended, then maybe we could at least pretend or take
comfort in each other again. I really shouldn�t think that way, I know, now
that we have finally attained peace after all of this time. But there will
always be a part of me that misses those times, as I believe that part is in
all of us. No matter which you end up deciding, I sincerely hope that choice
brings you the happiness you could not find during the war.

Duo

P.S.

�� Thank you for driving away the blood,
thank you for showing me true love, thank you for caring; but most of all,
thank you for loving me, if only for a moment.

�� Just know this,

�� I always loved you.

End
- 1
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The Letter