I�ll Be Yours

Authors notes: This fic was written quite a while ago. I’ve recently started posting some of my Bleach fanfic’s here, so I thought I would share this too XD

Inspired by the Placebo song I’ll Be Yours, lyrics/links at the bottom of the page.

Comments and/or constructive criticism very much appreciated.

*****

Wordless screams shook the room, loud enough that the neighbours would have been complaining, if this had been the sort of neighbourhood where people dared to come out of their homes after dark. The room was bathed in shadows; outside the sun was just starting to set behind the bombed out factories that littered the landscape across the river. This had been coming all day, building like the oppressive summer storm that hung on the horizon.

Zechs sat pressed close behind Duo on the rumpled bed, arms wrapped round the brunet's waist as he crouched in over himself, chest heaving as he gasped trying to find air. Another scream erupted from Duo’s chest, but they were coming slower now, fewer and further between. Throwing his head back he tried shake free the strands of hair that clung to his face in the damp heat. He couldn’t let go, not yet. The tears were coming, streaming gasping sobs. He held on tight.

The words were a barely a whisper, hoarse and stilted through wet choking breaths. It didn’t matter, the words were always the same, demons from Duo’s past clawing their way up through his skin. After a while the huge shaking sobs subsided and Zechs let himself loosen one arm, twisting around to pick up the mug of water he had left on of the shelf. Brushing Duo’s bangs back from his sticky skin, he helped him hold the cup to his lips and let him drink it down in hiccupping gulps. Duo looked up at him, embarrassed, awkward, but it didn’t really matter, he knew it never did. They clung there for a while, exhausted, silent, the need for words long past.

Zechs smiled pensively, his chin resting on Duo’s head. He was thinking about all those people who had known them before, all those who remembered the red coated lightning count, another teenager who had been a solider before he had been man. They probably would have been surprised to find the two of them living out here on the edge of the war racked disaster zone, but nobody cared about two more war damaged soldiers clinging to life where they could. Duo at least could have had honours and medals, praise from the grateful masses, but who could want that when they saw the multitudes of the dead marching through their dreams at night.

Finally Duo let him go long enough to get up and open the window. The rain had started, lifting the scent of hot tarmac to the window—a sound of life in a concrete desert. He pealed off his t-shirt, letting the cool air dry his sticky skin while Duo went use to the bathroom—the white humming glow of the strip light sending harsh shadows across the room. They might have found somewhere better to live, if either of them could have held down a steady job. But when things got too much, when Duo had a day like he had today, none of it mattered, and bosses weren’t too understanding of the need to leave halfway through the day because your boyfriend was having a panic attack.

Duo snuck back in, ducking under his arm, tucking nimble fingers into the back of his sweatpants, as they watched the sheeting rain. The room was cooler now, it wouldn’t last, soon the humidity would drown them in sticky heat once again, but for now he relished the heat of Duo’s body against his skin.

Turning, he waited for Duo’s eyes to meet his own. They were sore and red, the sadness and pain still clinging to their usual indigo light. Resting his hands behind Duo’s neck he brought his lips down to kiss, soft and soothing. Duo’s hands slipped across his back, pulling him close. After a moment he felt Duo tug at his sweatpants and he smiled.

Pushing the twisted blankets off the bed he laid Duo down, covering his body with soft kisses, letting the cool air from the window goose his skin. Oh they had their share of wild and passionate sex, but not on nights like tonight, tonight was for solace, for comfort, for affirmation of a living if damaged soul.

Picking up one of Duo’s hair ties from the shelf he caught back his hair, knotting it up off his skin. Sitting back on his knees he let his eyes wander across the long lines of Duo’s lean body, finally dropping forward to follow the trail of his eyes with his hands, smoothing his thumbs across the other's shoulders, along his chest, down to rub along ridge of his hip bones. Duo leaned up to meet his mouth in kiss, a strong tongue flicking out to brush his own, hands coming up to wrap around his neck, dragging him down. For a while thoughts were lost in the heat and caresses of the body beneath him, but eventually, breath coming fast, he pulled himself away. Looking down into Duo’s eyes he saw need, mixed with the last lingering hints of pain and tears.

Lust pulled against his self restraint; as always the sight of Duo’s body aching and wanting making it hard to rein in animal need. Finally he let himself sink down, pressing into the heat of Duo’s body as his lover yielded to him, letting him take away the pain, take away the memories, reawaken passion and hope and desire. His movements were slow, deliberate, body pressed close, mouth dancing against the other's skin.

Bodies finally spent, sated and exhausted, they lay back down side by side. Hooking up the sheets off the floor, he draped them across and between them, fending off the sticky heat that their exertion had returned. A sigh slipped from his lips, contented. These were the only nights Duo slept quietly, when the ghosts that haunted him had been vented, wounds torn wide, then put to rest, for a while. Pulling Duo onto his shoulder, he wrapped him close and closed his eyes, prepared to do battle with ghosts of his own, hanging onto the only thing that got him through the night.

I'll be your water bathing you clean
The liquid peace
I'll be your ether you'll breathe me in
You won't release
Well I've seen you suffer, I've seen you cry the whole night through
So I'll be your water bathing you clean
Liquid blue

I'll be your father, I'll be your mother,
I'll be your lover, I'll be yours
I'll be your father, I'll be your mother,
I'll be your lover, I'll be yours

I'll be your liquor bathing your soul
Juice that's pure
And I'll be your anchor you'll never leave
These shores that cure
Well I've seen you suffer, I've seen you cry for days and days
So I'll be your liquor demons will drown
And float away

I'll be your father, I'll be your mother,
I'll be your lover, I'll be yours
I'll be your father, I'll be your mother,
I'll be your lover, I'll be yours
Yours...

*****

The only version I can find of song this online is live, if you want to you can listen to it here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUm5zXrJdKw (minor warning: he swears near the end).

Thank you for reading XD