Taboo (RoyxGracia)

Notes: Series spoilers-Set 2 years later

*a challenge from tro, how could I refuse, even if it is het XD *only for you dude*
and like all my FMA fics, i'm not really concerned with accuracy so lets just assume Roy is intact and everything is the way I want it to be ~_^

enjoy~


Gracia braced all of her weight against the door. It was well after midnight. She had no clue who could be at the door this time of night.

She silenced her breathing.

Her head pressed close to the door, listening.

Maybe they would go away.

Two years ago a late night knock at the door would not have surprised her, or frightened her this much. Then again, two years ago she would have stayed in bed while he...not that she was in bed. Spending all night in front of the T.V had become a manageable lifestyle, especially when Elysia went for a sleep over.

"Pull it together." She whispered to herself.

Three more solid knocks shook he door knob in her hand.

She jumped.

"Gracia, are you awake?"

The voice behind the door was low, male, and familiar. She was relieved but at the same time disappointed. She almost wished it was the Axe murderer she was imagining. At least she could run from the axe murder.

Cautiously, she inched open the door as far as the chain lock would allow and peered around the corner.

"Roy." She instantly hated the way she had said his name, high and soft like a little girl.

Roy smiled as his name left her lips. It felt so good to hear someone call him by name instead of rank. But he had scared her. He could tell by the way she guarded the door.

"Did I wake you?" He asked politely even as he saw that she was fully dressed in a knit top and long skirt.

"No. I was up." She heaved a tired sigh. It had been almost eight months since she stopped returning his calls. Eight months since she'd decided to take her daughter away from her school and friends. How many Aunts and Uncles did a child need anyway?

They stared at each other through the crack in the door.

"May I come in?" Roy asked as he dipped his head and removed his hat.

The uniform. Gracia hadn't even seen it until he brought it to her attention. It was as if something stung her as she scanned him up and down. No one ever looked good blue.

"Yes. Of course" She managed past the lump in her throat.

Without a word she closed the door, removed the chain and then opened the door to a load of memories she had put aside. She had no one to blame but herself.

"I had heard that you moved." Roy explained as he crossed her threshold. "Why didn't you tell anyone?"

He waited for an answer as he took in the room. It was a small, neat, apartment that was decorated in light colors and sparsely furnished. He stood next to the couch, where he laid his hat down. In front of that was the television and in-between the two sat a low coffee table with an open bottle of wine and one glass.

"You?" He turned to face her with a puzzled look on his face.

Her eyes hardened at that one word and all the connotations that came with it. It would be like Roy to point out that she'd been drinking by herself.

"I would never drink with my child in the house." She said defensively " Elysia is at a sleep over. It's my home Roy. I can do what I want in it." Her tone was harsh to hide the fact that inside she was deeply embarrassed.

He hadn't meant to offend her. "I was just," He stumbled on the words before he made things worse. ",it's not like you." He watched her stiffen even more. This was not going well.

What was he supposed to do? He was only trying to keep his word to an old friend but she wasn't making it easy. She was impossible to reach and then she moved with no forwarding address. If he didn't know any better he would say she was avoiding him.

"If I'm intruding I'll leave. " He went to pick his hat off the arm of the couch.

"No, please." She quickly laid her hand over his. 'Damn.' She wanted to be stronger then this. She wanted him gone. She didn't need them anymore. 'Damn, Damn, Damn, Damn!' But when it came down to making the choice, she didn't want to be alone.

Suddenly, she was very aware that she was touching him. His hand was warm and solid under hers. How long had it been since she'd held a hand larger than her daughters? She pulled back as if it had burned her.

"Would you like a drink Roy?" her smile masked the frustration she felt within herself.

"Sure." Roy retuned the smile, though his happened to be genuine. "Do you have anything besides wine?"

"No." She looked down at the bottle of wine and remembered what Roy and her husband used to drink. "I don't keep whiskey in the house anymore."

"Gracia." He breathed as he watched her face fall. He took the bottle from her hand before she dropped it. "Wine is fine."

She didn't respond.

"Don't shut your friends out." Roy said because he felt someone had to.

His voice was distant as she recalled the way Maes always wore a goofy grin when Roy came around. Friends? There was a time when Roy was part of her family, they all were. One big happy military family, but she wasn't a soldiers wife anymore. That's why she had to leave them behind.

"It's not fair to us."

Her mouth gaped as she stared back at him. Was he serious?

"Fair!" She shouted back.

"Don't tell me about fair Roy. If things were fair my daughter would still have a father." She pointed an angry finger at the empty bedroom.
"I'd still be married. I'd have someone to talk to at night instead of the God Damn television!"

She shut her mouth abruptly when she realized what she was doing. Then turned from him and wrapped her arms around herself.

Roy watched her rant with wide eyes, very glad he was the one holding the wine bottle. What a mistake he'd made coming here. Two years and she could still be undone so easily. No wonder she didn't want him around.

And then, as if he couldn't not have felt worse, he heard her cry.

He told himself that he hadn't come to cause her pain but what else could he have expected? She was shutting him out because he reminded her of Hughes and he was holding on to her for the same reason.

Roy drank straight from the bottle, wishing it was something stronger.

"It must be killing you to see me hear. I didn't realize. I'm sorry." He took off his jacket and threw it in a corner. He figured that last thing she needed was to see the old uniform again.

"He used to tell me I needed a wife." Roy let out a bemused huff. "But I think he found the only good one left."

"That's not the reason you don't have a wife, Roy." She retuned sarcastically, unwilling to accept the compliment. "Your a selfish ass."

"Maybe so." He smiled at her ability to cut through his crap. The only other person who could do that was Maes. They were so perfect for each other. "Forgive me for coming around, but you and Elysia are all I have left of him." He took a chance to touch her. He laid both hands on her shoulder. "I've missed you as well."

His honesty shocked her as much as his touch did. Her heart sped. This reminded her too much of Maes, and not in a good way. Her knees buckled but Roy was right there to catch her. His arms around her waist warmed her and for the first time in two years she felt like she could relax. 'Oh Maes' There was no one else in the world who could bring her comfort like he could and she had convinced herself she would spend the rest of her life waiting for him to touch her again.

But maybe?

For just one night maybe she could be someone else beside the lonely, scared widow.

For just one night maybe she could be a woman.

"Roy." She whispered. "Hold me tighter."

It was so wrong. She wanted to take it back as soon as she said it but by then it was too late. Those large hands pulled her close. She felt a part of herself jared lose by his touch.

Roy warped his arms around her and rested his cheek against the top of her hair. Slowly he rocked her in his arms, wanting so desperately to take away her loneliness but unsure of his boundaries.

She turned herself in his arms and nuzzled the crook of his neck as if testing to make sure he was the right flavor.

His body woke despite all efforts to control himself. "Gracia." Her name dripped off his tongue. He could almost taste the betrayal.

Nothing about this moment seemed real to her, like somehow she had moved over and let another take control of her body. Yes, that was one way to explain it away.

"I can't take you to my bed Roy." She breathed on his neck. Could those words have really come from her, she wondered?

He hardened instantly at her words. "No, never." He sighed against the honey curls that brushed his cheek so softly.

Of all the people in the world why did her body want this one? Anybody but Roy Mustang. Her body tingled imagining Roy making love to her. It would be forbidden, bordering on taboo and that made it all the more erotic. A hot flush spread between her legs, "I don't know if this is a good idea?"

"Probably not." Roy agreed.

"But I don't really care." She pressed herself closer to him, wanting to explore him further.

Roy tipped her head up to his and tasted her lips. Her mouth was warm and wet and when she moaned his cock jerked. Every part of him wanted to hear that sound again as she came for him.

Gracia wilted into his kiss. Her arms hung around his shoulders while his hands slid up her back. This was a different feeling then she remembered. Though she tried not to, it was impossible not to compare. When she once had love and security, she now had excitement and uncertainty. This was passion stripped down to the nerve, it was sudden and needful and desperate.

Through the thin fabric of her skirt she could feel how hard he was for her. "Roy I don't want you to make love to me." She felt like she needed to feed a part of herself that was starving. Tuning in his arms, she pressed her backside against his erection. "I want you to Fuck me."

Roy's whole body shuddered at her unexpected words. There was something incredibly hot about a woman who could say what she wanted. His hands gathered her skirt until it was waist high. He held the pleats of fabric against her tight stomach with one hand while his other hand lightly brushed the outside of her panties.


"Yes." She hissed, pushing her hips to meet his hand. Her legs widened to invite his fingers to play. "I want to feel you inside me."

Roy frowned at her lack of patience but he understood and wanted more than anything to satisfy her. He moved her panties to the side. A finger slid through her cleft. She was so wet already. He easily slipped inside her body. Then quickly added another finger, pushing them both to the last knuckle.

Gracia kept her eyes closed the whole time to allow herself to feel without distraction. She held a torrid image behind her eyes of a woman- maybe not even herself- leaning against Roy, his hands were up her skirt, thrusting into her from behind. It was as much a fantasy as it was reality.

"I want to taste you." Roy nipped at her ear as he turned her to face the couch. "Bend over."

Gracia eargrly curled her body around the back of the couch while Roy positioned her hips the way he wanted. She felt exposed, and almost dirty as he flipped her skirt over her back and pulled down her panties off.

"Oh God!" She cried out as his tongue quickly found her swollen clit. His lips sucked gently until she couldn't breath anymore. Oh yeah, his was a mouth made to please.

When he felt her tense he quickly inserted a finger and rolled it inside her until her hips started to grind against his hand. "Come for me Beautiful."

Gracia clutched at the cushions under her hands. She wanted to pull away from the intense feeling but the man on his knees behind her held her captive with his talented mouth. Pleasure spiraled through her, shaking her to her core. It left her restless and uninhibited. She found her self rubbing against Roy's face as he licked her clean. "What did you do to me?" She moaned.

Roy let a self satisfied grin part his swollen lips. "Nothing compared to what I'm going to do to you." He kissed her soft thigh as his hand unbuttoned his shirt. He wanted to be naked with her. To lay her on the couch and feel her long legs wrapped around his back. His cock strained agianst the confines of his pants, but he fought the urge to relieve the pressure. Her touch would be sweeter than his.

Slowly, Gracia stood, with Roys help. He held her against him, his hands cupping her breasts.

"You have too many clothes on." Roy said matter-of-factly.

Mmm, she always liked the rich tone of his voice. "Then take them off." She raised her arms up so he could pull off her top.

She loved the feeling of her skin on his, and the way his rough fingers felt on her bear breasts.

A second later and her skirt lay in a pile at her feet.

"You too." Gracia reached back to cup Roy's erection. "You've kept this hidden long enough."

Roy growled deep in his thoart. Never did he imagine Gracia Hughes would be teasing his cock like this.

No, he told himself. Don't think back. It's only going to hurt.

But part of him liked it. The jeloius part in every man who covets his best friends wife. That part was a coward who kept his mouth shut but secretly wanted what he couldn't have.

The next thing Roy knew, Gracia was before him, sliding her hand though his zipper. Her long tapered fingers drew his cock out. He arched his back into her hands as she stroked him.

Roy's cock was long and full and he looked delicious. She ran her finger through the clear dewy drops of cum and wondered what it would taste like. It would be so easy to wrap her lips around his dark tip but...

She had a moment of hesitation. "I,"

She felt awful. All at once she knew it wasn't something she wiling to do. It was too intimate. It was something she only wanted to do with someone she loved. Unfortunately that was not Roy.

Roy placed a finger under her chin, raising her eyes to meet his. He assured her she didn't have to do anything she didn't want to do with kind smile. "Come here."

"I'm sor-" But before she could apologize, Roy lifted her up and carried her over to the couch.

"Roy!" She yelped in surprise.

He laided over her, covering her mouth with a rough kiss.

She sucked a deep, sobering breath in through her nose. His cock jabbed into her thigh, it seared her skin. She couldn't believe how hard he was.

Her legs opened to embrace him. They folded over his back and drew him down to her.

The intense darkness of his eyes held her gaze as he sunk himself deep inside her.

Roy thrust into her vigorously, filling the room with the wet, smacking rhythm of sex. She cried for more, and he could only gasp and grunt as he tried to keep up with her. The sounds he made excited her even more. The walls of her home were so used to hearing the squeaks and squeals of children. It seemed so strange to be surrounded by the resonant voice of a man.

"Good." She said it over and over. "So good!"
All of it was good.
The way the muscles of his back flexed under her hands as he moved over her. The way he filled her. It was all really good.

"Good" Roy repeated breathlessly as he fought a losing battle. He could never make the conscious decision to end something he'd wanted for this long. His body would just have to surprise him.

He watched her face draw tight. "Gracia?"
Her back bowed under him, her nails scratched at his sides, digging in painfully deep. "Oh Grac...Shit!" He winced.

But all she could do was whimper something unintelligible as her climax built. For a few seconds she made the transition to a place where nothing could touch her. Not pain or fear or guilt. It was just sublime nothingness as her body seized under his.

Roy felt her hot walls contract around his cock. He groaned, his voice straining. "I'm coming!" He warned before he smashed his mouth agianst her shoulder to muffle his cry. Cheeks puffing, eyes squeezed shut, he held his body still as his seed pumped into the hot body under him.

"My God." Gracia praised him in hushed awe. Short, silky strands of hair slipped between her fingers as she stroked his head. He was still inside her when the thought of kicking him out crossed her mind.

She didn't have any regrets and that bothered her. What she did she did because she wanted to, and that realization made her feel even worse.

The only thing she ever understood was that this man was off limits, forever. She expected to feel revulsion form what she'd done. But oddly, she felt good. She enjoyed laying under him and feeling the heavy weight of his body pushing her into the couch.

But was it that she wanted Roy that much or that she wanted to be alone even less?

Would he bring her back the old pain or cause her a new kind of hurt?

"What are we going to do Roy?"

He could hear the somber tone of her voice. Did she have to think about the future right now?
Of course she did.
He knew better than to expect this to be easy. Not after he'd gone and complicated the situation beyond all comprehension.

"Whatever you want Gracia." He kissed her shoulder tenderly hoping that she would not ask him to leave so soon, but he would if she asked him too. "I'll do whatever you want. I promise."