Stupid Earth Holiday

I do no own Dragonball Z, the works of Clement Clark Moore or the works of Dr. Seuss.

I'm back! Sorry for the delay for anyone following Lamb Without Blemish, Old College Try, or Daresay. I will be finishing my shorter stories soon and have even figured out what to do with Lamb Without Blemish. I hope you enjoy this silly, short fic. I'm not one for holidays myself, and I thought Vegeta would not care for holidays like Christmas that promote goodwill and peace.

Stupid Earth Holiday
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“’Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house…”

Vegeta heard another Christmas movie begin to play on the television in the living room. His son, Trunks, and his daughter, Bra, sat intently watching the third movie to play in the last few hours. While retreating from the annoying sound of the movie, Vegeta rolled his eyes. He had been living on Earth for years and never connected with any of the planet’s traditions.

On his home planet, Vegeta and his father were the centerpiece to all of the traditions and celebrations. Now, Vegeta was insignificant. He did not have money, which seemed to fuel the holidays. ‘Especially Christmas,’ he thought. Vegeta hated Christmas most of all. Holidays like Valentine’s Day and Halloween passed relatively quickly. Christmas, however, encompassed several months. Stores filled up with the festive greens and reds as early as July.

His mate became more daring around Christmas. Dragging Vegeta from shop to shop, he wore a more terrifying scowl than usual. Even his children, who normally left him to train, would bother him as soon as the stores began advertising the Christmas season. His son would make long lists of the numerous toys and gadgets he wanted, while his daughter spouted off her requests daily, expecting Vegeta or his mate to take note of every ridiculous demand.

Vegeta could not understand why the Earthlings made such a fuss over one day. He had heard all the tales of the season. There was the one of the jolly, fat man that gave out presents, and there was one of a prince being born in a humble place. He could never wrap his mind around either story. ‘A prince being born in a barn?’ Vegeta thought. ‘That would never happen. What prince would ever be born like that? Even I had a servant assigned to me by the time I was five minutes old. And, no human is kind and quick enough to deliver presents to every person in one night.’ He scoffed.

He made his way back to his room. Upon opening the door, Vegeta found his mate. “Woman, what the…?” His voice trailed off as he took in what she was doing.

“I thought your room could use some decorations. Don’t you like it?” Bulma smiled back at him.

Before Vegeta, there stood a small Christmas tree in one corner of his room. He already had to deal with the numerous Christmas trees and other various festive decorations littering the large Capsule Corp. building. “You’ve gone too far, Woman!” Vegeta yelled at her. He made a move to yank the tree from its place, but he was stopped short.

“Vegeta!” Bulma planted her hands on her hips in her usual display of defiance against her headstrong mate. “I tried to do something nice for you. Why can’t you just say ‘thank you’ like a normal person?”

“I’m not a normal person. I’m not a human at all. I’m a Saiyan. Your stupid Earth holiday holds no place in my heart. I could care less. It makes all the humans mad with desires of gifts and food. It is enough to make a heartless person like me sick.” Vegeta pretended to spit at the ground.

“You can say you don’t care all you want, Mr. Saiyan, but I will not believe it. Everybody loves Christmas.”

“Not me, Woman. And, I don’t want that tree in here.” Vegeta waved a finger at the tree with a disgusted look on his face.

“You do like it, and the tree stays. If I come back and it is not up, I’ll dismantle the gravity room.” Bulma waved a finger in Vegeta’s face, smirking at her only effective threat against her strong mate.

Vegeta growled, but made no further response. He decided that he would take it down after she left. He could always sense her ki and put it back up. Bulma skipped away delighted with her small victory.

Alone for the first time that day, Vegeta walked over to his bed and sat down with a sigh. He decided to lay down and rest. After a short morning practice in the gravity room, Bulma banned Vegeta from spending all of Christmas Eve in his solitary paradise and forced him to spend time with the family. This meant sitting with his children while they watched endless holiday movies. The slow and painful torture had worn down the tiny bit of patience he had. Weary, Vegeta felt himself drifting into sleep.

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Vegeta awoke after a strange dream. He had dreamed of reindeer, a fat man, and all the things that had been in the kids’ holiday movies. Rubbing his temples, Vegeta caught a glimpse of the clock. It was after midnight. ‘So the Woman didn’t wake me.’ He shrugged, too tired to show any form of surprise. Walking to the door, Vegeta opened it and made his way to the living room. He found his children gone and the television still on. “Every Who down in Whoville liked Christmas a lot, but the Grinch, who lived just north of Whoville - did not.” The movie began to play. “What’s this?” Vegeta said, never having seen or heard of this particular movie.

Vegeta seated himself on the couch, suddenly intrigued by the film. He found the main character of this movie to be unlike the others. He was mean, spiteful, and best of all, this creature smiled wickedly. Vegeta imitated the sinister smile, pleased to find a character as mean spirited as he. “The Grinch.” Vegeta grinned. “I’ve got an idea.”

Vegeta jumped to his feet. He knew what he would do about this Christmas holiday. No human could vandalize so many houses in one night, but he could. He ran to his room, deciding to take down his tree first. After entering his room and making sure the door was closed securely behind him, Vegeta blasted the tree. With one ki blast, the tree was gone. Only dust remained in its place. After a quick fit of joy, Vegeta headed towards his window and took off to destroy more.

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Over an hour later, Vegeta paused on the rooftop of his most recent tree victim. He was slightly worn out, but still excited. Deciding upon his next victim, a name popped up in Vegeta’s mind that he had previously over-looked. “Kakarrot.” Vegeta’s eyes widened. “How could I have forgotten him?” Vegeta took to the air again with his wicked grin back on his face as he flew to the home of his rival.

Vegeta landed on the roof of Kakarrot’s house as quietly as possible. He jumped down and snuck around the perimeter of the house, searching for an easy entrance. Vegeta thought of Kakarrot as a very trusting person, so he figured that the door would be unlocked. He walked to the front door and turned the knob, finding it to the contrary. “Must be that harpie’s doing.” He moved to find an accessible window.

Upon discovering an unlocked window, Vegeta pushed the glass frame up and put a foot inside the house. He heard no rustling inside the home, so he continued. After his entire body was inside, Vegeta strode over to the tree. It was just a normal tree. Vegeta expected something extremely ornate, but the only thing abnormal about the tree was its decorations. Vegeta counted all of the dragon balls hanging in the tree like ornaments. He arched an eyebrow at the absurd sight. To see an item with the power to grant any wish dangling from the tree of one of the strongest men in the universe seemed very odd to Vegeta.

He wasted no more time in his rival’s home. He threw the dragon balls down and raised his hand to blow up the tree. Before the blast left his hand, a noise caused Vegeta to pause.

“Vegeta?”

Vegeta looked over to see Kakarrot in the doorway, rubbing his eyes.

“Kakarrot, I…” Vegeta tried to come up with a story that his rival would believe.

“What are you doing here, Vegeta? Christmas isn’t for a few more hours, and I’m sure Bulma has tons presents for you at her house.” Goku yawned.

“Right.” Vegeta put his hand down. He could not think of an excuse for his presence and could not enjoy destroying Kakarrot’s tree with him watching. So far, he had the pleasure of blasting all the trees in peace. Defeated, Vegeta backed away from the tree, retreating to the front door. He thought going through the window would not help his case.

“Wait, Vegeta! I got something for you.” Goku went to the tree and shuffled through the gifts until he found the one he wanted. “Here.” Goku handed Vegeta a present.

“What’s this?” Vegeta took the gift, genuinely surprised.

“It is an outfit I got in my travels. I got it tailored to fit you. It is supposed to be good for training.” Goku smiled at Vegeta after putting his hand on the back of his head.

“Thank you, Kakarrot.” The words left Vegeta’s mouth before he had realized it.

“No problem.”

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After Goku had wished Vegeta a merry Christmas, Vegeta took off for home. He kept trying to push down some feeling. He hated Kakarrot. He hated Christmas. “Right?” He said, seeing his breath on the chilled air. While passing over a wood, Vegeta made a split second decision. He swooped down, landing near a small tree. Kicking the base of the tree, Vegeta broke the trunk and yanked it up from the ground. “At least the Woman won’t take away my gravity machine with this.”

Vegeta went home and put the tree in his room. Christmas morning did not go as badly for Vegeta as it had in years past. He kept telling himself that he still hated Christmas and Kakarrot. He just did not hate them as much.

And, Vegeta never confessed to being the ‘disappearing tree bandit.’ He just decided after that Christmas Eve to keep up the tradition. He told himself, “If I don’t do it, what human will?”

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The End.