I Love You, Jean Havoc

A/N:

A very light and fluffy oneshot. Explicit yaoi. This means sweaty man smut. Don't like, don't read. You have been warned!

Pairing: Jean Havoc x Roy Mustang

I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist, the series and all the characters belong to Hiromu Arakawa. Things would be different if I did own it XD

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"I love you, Jean Havoc."

How could I possibly tell you I love you? You're so kind you would probably give me that same little smile you always do and say, "Thank you, boss." 'Boss.' Is that all I can ever be to you? Boss, Chief, Colonel, Sir? You make me feel so wonderful I can't even explain it. When you get to work just a little bit early so that i'll have a fresh cup of coffee when I arrive. Could you ever understand how much that means to me? I enjoy our mornings together, drinking coffee in silence as the rest of the team slowly trickles in. You are so perfect, Jean, did you know that? So warm, so kind, so beautiful. Every time you smile at me, the icy shield around my heart melts just a tiny bit. I'm so afraid that one day i'll lose that smile forever. You would never stay behind, though. Your loyalty is so strong and pure, it's amazing to me. You would never forgive me if I left you out of a mission. You've always been an important part of my team, Jean. It'd kill you to be denied your right to be involved and that's what worries me. If you were to die to further my ambitions than I could never forgive myself..

How would it feel to be in your arms, I wonder? I envy all those girls who get to go home with you and spend the night beneath you, then get to rest against your strong chest as the sun begins to rise. Will I ever have the chance to be with you like that? I've touched myself to that fantasy, Jean; the dream of being beneath your lean, muscled body as we make love into the early dawn. Having you inside of me is my deepest, darkest desire. Would you ever give us a chance to be together or would you push me away and tell me to pretend it never happened? I don't think if I confessed my love for you, Jean, I could ever go back to the way things are. That is why I fear telling you. I fear that you will reject me and we will lose the closeness we already share.. so I shall remain silent and let my dreams be the only place where our love exists.

I love you, Jean Havoc. I know I can never say this to you, but if I can't have you as a lover than I guess i'll have to deal with having you as a loyal subordinate. In the end, I suppose that has always sufficed.

"Wow, boss. You were really quite romantic back then, huh?" Jean commented, closing the leather bound journal and setting it aside. Roy blushed and hid his face in his lover's shirt. "You promised you wouldn't make fun of me!" he whined as the wind outside howled furiously.

"You're the one who let me read it." Jean reminded him, sliding his arms around the brunette in his lap and cradling him close. A fire roared in the hearth, warming the room and keeping the chill of the storm off.

"Only because this blasted storm won't let us leave!" Roy protested indignantly, huddling closer to Havoc's warmth. "You were bored and wanted to read my journal, so I let you!"

Jean grinned and tipped Roy's face up for a tender kiss that melted Roy's anger like an ice cube in the sun. "I'm sorry, boss. I didn't mean to upset you." he murmured, pressing his lips to his black eyed lover's forehead. "I just didn't expect you to be so adorable, that's all."

Roy blushed again, burying his face in the blonde's shoulder. "Well, sue me!" he grumbled, his words muffled by the black shirt he was hiding his face in. Havoc smirked and massaged the other's back, pressing his mouth to his lover's ear. "So.. did you really used to masturbate to the fantasy of us making love?" he asked huskily, causing a pleased shudder to run through the brunette's body. "That's what it said, isn't it?" he replied gruffly, clearly embarrassed.

Jean grinned and lifted Roy, laying him down on the thick rug in front of the fireplace and kneeling over him. "J-Jean!" he stammered, his cheeks a bright flame red as callused hands undid the buttons on his shirt. "It's too cold to do that, what are--ohh....." he moaned softly when warm, broad hands rubbed against his bare chest, pushing the white, long sleeved shirt open. "I'll warm you up, boss.." the blonde purred softly, lips finding a pink nipple and worshipping it with attentions. Roy felt his breathing hitch in his throat as a warm tongue laved the nub until it was moist and red from his attentions. He moaned softly, pale, graceful fingers finding purchase in spiky blonde hair as his lover's tongue glided downward, dipping into his bellybutton before finding the waistband of his pajama pants. Tanned digits looped beneath the elastic and pulled them down, boxers and all, before removing them entirely and setting them aside.

Even with the blazing heat of the fire nearby to warm him, Roy still shivered, his bare skin pebbling with goose bumps from the occasional phantom cool breeze that wafted from a crack in the window or the space under the door. Jean smiled warmly and took his t-shirt off, making a small pillow out of it and resting his smaller lover's head on it. Roy couldn't help but smile as he wrapped his arms around the blonde's neck, pulling him down for a kiss. He had never expected Havoc to be as romantic, loving or gentle as he was, and yet here they were making love by the fireside with a storm howling outside. It was like every fantasy he had ever written about come true.

Coldness and the absence of weight for a moment before his love returned, carrying a small bottle of scented lotion with him. Roy grinned and tugged the blonde back down on top of him, relishing the feel of his skin against Havoc's. Jean chuckled and let him, kissing him sweetly until the alchemist was a shivering mass of malleable putty in his arms. Roy laid back on the thick carpet, letting the warm light of the fire flicker over his pale skin as Jean slicked up his fingers. His cheeks flushed with color, desperate need reflected in half lidded obsidian eyes. The blonde felt his breathing hitch in his throat at the open desire in his lover's burning gaze.

"Fuck, Roy.. You're so damn gorgeous.." he breathed, awed by the raw beauty of the other man. Roy blushed at the unexpected compliment, running his hands over the blonde's chest. "Just take me.. Please.." he whispered, pulling Jean down for another soft kiss. The younger man smiled into the kiss, slipping his tongue quietly into his lover's mouth to map every wet inch of it as he slid his hand between his legs. A lotion-slicked digit gently probed at Roy's entrance before sliding inside his body, slowly stroking it in and out.

Roy moaned low in his throat, his eyelids fluttering as pleasure spread through his body with a soft tingling sensation. This was the realization of years of hopes and dreams. How many times had he wished to be where he was now? Beneath his blonde subordinate, making love in the warm glow of each other's embrace?

He cried out in pleasure when a second finger pressed inside of him, slowly scissoring apart to stretch him. "Jean." he said in a hushed whisper, wrapping his arms tightly around the blonde's wide shoulders, shivering slightly.

"Are you cold?" Jean murmured, concern in his voice as he pushed a third digit into the body beneath him. Roy smiled and shook his head, his breath coming in short pants in anticipation of what was to come. "Never.. Not in your arms.." he whispered back, stroking his long, pale fingers through spiky blonde hair. He kissed his younger lover warmly, moaning into his mouth as questing fingers found that sweet spot buried deep inside of him. Jean grinned and rubbed into the bump of sensitive nerves for a few moments, enjoying the mewls this action elicited from the beautiful man beneath him.

Once he decided he had tortured his Colonel enough he removed his fingers from him, finding the lotion once more and slicking his erection up with it. "Just relax, Roy.." he whispered lovingly, kissing him to distract him from the initial slight discomfort as he pushed inside of him.

Roy thought he had died and gone to Heaven when his lover finally thrust into his body, pale legs immediately moving to wrap around his waist and pull him closer, deeper into him. He moaned, a low, rumbling noise that began in his chest and rose upward to burst from him as Jean pressed deeper and deeper inside of him, ending with a strangled cry of pleasure as the blonde settled in up to the hilt. "Jean!"

There was a pause as Havoc waited for his lover to adjust before he slowly drew out of him, thrusting back in with a gentle push of his hips. The storm raging outside, both figurative and literal, no longer mattered to either of them. The world could be ending and they would wouldn't know, too wrapped up in the warm kisses, the soft embraces, the heat of the fire and their own passion swirling around them like a cascading rainfall of pleasure. Pale arms wrapped tighter around Jean's neck, pulling him close to him as the younger began a slow, gentle pace of rocking in and out of his smaller lover. Roy moaned lightly, burying a hand in the silky blonde locks and gripping tight, his legs locked together around his waist. "Jean..! Jean!" he pants, his forbidden mantra that, up until recently, was said to an empty room or the soft rush of water in the shower, the evidence of his sin hidden in the bottom of the trash can or washed away down the drain.

Jean slowly sped up, pressing his lips to Roy's and kissing him possessively, slipping his tongue deep into his mouth with a clipped moan. The brunette's body shifted slightly with each deep, passionate thrust into him. Neither fast, nor hard, but slow and tender. "Jean..! O-Ohh.... Jean...! So good...!" Roy moaned, his eyes clenched shut against the waves of pleasure that rolled through his shivering form. Sweat shone on his skin, making their bodies slip against one another with an almost erotic, underwater like feeling. "Roy.." Jean whispered, his voice full of a deep, desperate longing that made him want to lean up and kiss him, but his head is too heavy by this point to lift, so he dragged the blonde down to him once more for a heart achingly tender kiss.

It doesn't take long before Roy felt the inevitable building of climax within him, slowly rising to a crescendo in the pit of his stomach. Neither of them have the stamina they did when they first made love, but for the two forbidden lovers, just having the chance to be together like this is more than enough.

Roy felt his body stiffen and threw his head back, crying out in sweet ecstasy as his orgasm hit him with like a powerful ocean wave, leaving him sobbing and clutching at the blonde as he rode it out, collapsing in Jean's arms with a soft noise of contentment. It isn't long before Havoc followed him, spilling his hot seed deep inside his smaller lover and falling on top of him.

They lay there like that for a moment, gasping for breath with his semen warm and sticky against their stomachs until Jean moved to push off. "No.." Roy whispered, pulling his lover back down on top of him, letting his eyes flutter shut. "Stay with me.. just like this.."

Jean smiled gently and kissed his lower lip tenderly, baby blue eyes closing with exhaustion. "Of course, sir.."

Roy stroked his fingers through his lover's soft blond hair, relishing the feeling of his warm bulk on top of him, still buried inside of his body. He never before would have allowed himself to believe this would ever come to pass, the passionate experience they just shared, and even now he struggled to convince himself it was even real at all and not just some cruel, wonderful dream. Onyx eyes flicker open again and he pushed Havoc up enough to stare into his face, arms still around his neck. "Yes, boss?" the blonde asked gently, smiling warmly down at him.

Roy smiled back, feeling tears begin to slide down his pale cheeks. There are no words left in his mind to describe the feeling welling up inside of him, filling him with a warmth and joy previously unknown to him, except a few.

"I love you, Jean Havoc."