Heels

Heels

It was a surprise at seventeen for Relena to be introduced to a uniform-clad Heero, who was the newest member of her Preventer security detail. It took some adjusting for them both at eighteen, when her security was slimmed down to one member: him.
They were totally alone for the first time. It was uncomfortable in the beginning. He arrived at her house on the first morning of the arrangement, just as he had for the past year, but without any accompaniment.
“Good morning, Agent Yuy. Please come in.”
“Good morning, Pagan.”
“Miss Relena seems to be running a bit slow this morning. She hasn’t even had her cup of tea. Might I interest you in one while you wait?”
“No, thank you, sir.”
“Very well. I’ll go up to advise Relena to pick up the pace, shall I?”
“Thank you.”
Heero was left alone in the foyer; he clasped his hands behind his back and listened to the small sounds in the large house. At some length, he heard a soft thud and some loud words in Pagan’s voice. He stepped lightly but quickly further into the house, his body poised for quick action, his mind searching for signals around him that might tell him what to expect when he reached the staircase.
When he did reach the staircase, his body relaxed, but his mind remained puzzled. Relena was crouching on two of the stairs, reaching one of her hands toward Pagan’s arm.
“Is something the matter?”
She looked down to the bottom step and wobbled slightly. “Oh, no, I just tripped and fell.” Pagan lifted her up and she straightened her shirt collar. “I’m sorry I’m running late today.”
“You fell on your own stairs—are you feeling ill today?”
She made the rest of her way down with one hand on the banister, keeping her eyes on the steps. “No, I’m fine. Just sorry to keep you waiting.” She stopped. Only a few steps from the floor, a pair of black shoes fell into her line of sight. She looked up to find Heero, arms crossed, blocking her way.
“You’re sure you feel well?”
“Yes, I just tripped.”
“Then we’ll take route C this morning, since we’re behind.” He turned and walked briskly back toward the door.
The car ride was quiet. Relena was accustomed to the relaxed chatter of other agents, even if she didn’t happen to be participating herself. Heero was used to the noise the others made, and—though it had annoyed him before—he knew he wouldn’t have glared at them so much if he knew before what their silence would have felt like. At least they wouldn’t have been alone.
Just as Relena was about to take her phone out of her bag, she started at the sound of Heero’s voice.
“You tripped on your own staircase.”
“I’m sorry?”
“You go down the same steps every day, and you tripped.”
“Yes.”
Heero didn’t respond. Though she wasn’t sure whether this meant he didn’t want to know anything else or if he wanted her to elaborate, she continued just because he hadn’t.
“There’s nothing wrong; it’s not even especially important. In fact, it’s embarrassing, now that you’ve asked.” She flicked her eyes to the side to see if he was to see if he would nod or make any other acknowledgement. He didn’t. “I wouldn’t have tripped this morning if I weren’t wearing heels.”
“High heels?”
“Yes.”
“High heels are bad for your feet and your posture.”
“I don’t usually wear them.”
“You usually wear flat shoes.”
Relena noticed that it hadn’t been a question.
“I’m not used to them. I hope it doesn’t happen again.”
“I apologize for prying, but why are you wearing them?”
“It’s what women wear, and today I feel like I’m a real woman.”
She knew after she said it that if she had said it to anyone else she would have been answered with laughter. It was a little ridiculous.
“I don’t understand. You are a woman.”
“Yes—but—never mind. It’s complicated.”
“It’s personal. I apologize.”
He sounded more bored than apologetic, though.
“Alright—so—my mother always told me that heels were for women to wear. If I got to wear any it was because it was a special occasion. Anyway, my female colleagues wear high heels. It’s practically business attire—”
“How sexist.”
Relena paused, wondering if she’d heard sarcasm behind his toneless words.
“No, it’s just that I notice it. I bought a pair a year ago, but I feel like a fake every time I put them on. Like I’m a little girl or something. But today I feel qualified for heels.”
“Why is that?”
“Mostly because I’ve been legally an adult for a month now. And also because… well, I’m educated now.”
“Were you not before?”
“Technically, before yesterday I was a drop out. I never finished secondary school. But yesterday I got my certificate of completion in the mail. A diploma, I guess. I was taking correspondence courses. I feel like a…ah… grownup now.”
“I understand.”
“I guess it’s not really as much education as a politician should have, but I’m on my way.”
“I might have guessed that the majority of politicians were still trying to finish secondary school.”
Relena laughed before she had a chance to realize that he had made a joke for her.
“Can I ask you a question, Heero?” She looked over and saw him nod. “Did you ever finish secondary school?”
“In reality, no, but I have three different certificates with my name on them.”
“Oh.”
“Congratulations on yours.”
“Thank you.”
“We’ll park behind the building today, so you can be closer to an entrance.”
“Alright.”
“If you don’t trip, you might make it to your office on time.”
“Tch. No one would worry if I came in ten minutes late.”
“It would bother you.”
She smiled. “Yes.”
“Let’s go.”
He walked slightly behind her and to her side on the way to the back entrance of the building.
“I know it might be pushing it, but I still want to take the stairs….” She turned her head back to look at him and stopped in her sentence. He was looking down at something. “Heero, what are you—are you looking at—at my feet?”
His head snapped back up. “I—yes. I apologize. I wanted to see your shoes.”
“Oh. Well, I guess I did kind of talk them up, didn’t I?” She felt a certain bounce in the tips of her toes when they met the ground. “What do you think?”
He looked at her as he held the door open. “They are very becoming.”
More often than not there was little to say on the drive from Relena’s house, but it was less bothersome in time. It became familiar, then comfortable.
When they were nineteen Relena attended a packed summit in New York City.
“Your secretary should have insisted on getting you a hotel closer to the convention center.”
Heero had deemed the city’s taxis and trains as completely unsafe, leaving them in a rented car, stuck in the city’s morning traffic.
“No, we should be taking a train, which is more efficient. Besides, there are more important people than me attending.”
“Your image is still too high profile for you to be on the subway—especially since you’re here on business.” He let out a choking cough afterward. Relena looked at him with concern, and then with ire when she saw him lift a piece of toast to his mouth again.
“That’s mine!”
“You said I was welcome to your toast.”
“The ones with jam were for you.”
“I don’t like jam.”
“Neither do I, which is why that one is mine.” She snatched the half-eaten piece of toast while he was still taking a bite out of it and put as much of it as she could in her own mouth.
“I wanted that.” He looked across the car to see her gobbling down the stolen toast. “Make sure you chew.”
She spoke through her mouth of food. “Yes, mother.”
They arrived at the convention center later than planned.
A valet came to Heero’s door for the keys to the shiny black rental, which he handed off after making a note of the man’s face. He went around the front of the car to open the door for Relena. As he shut the passenger door, he noticed as she stood nearer to him than she had all morning that she seemed taller. He looked down surreptitiously, finding gray, delicate-looking high-heeled shoes over Relena’s bare feet. A thrill of something like panic—good panic, the kind adrenaline aroused—shot through his stomach and shoulders. He remembered having the same feeling over a year before, when she caught him examining her feet in such shoes with more interest than he’d meant to disclose.
He moved his hand to the small of her back to guide her toward the building.
“Trying your luck again?”
“What’s that?”
Heero nodded downward.
“Oh. I think this sort of public engagement merits a bit of effort in regards to my appearance.” She smiled. “Besides, I’ve been practicing around the house.”
There were other people around—other attendees with groups of security and aids. Members of the media were scattered about, looking for targets. He knew his attention should be anywhere—everywhere else—except her, but he couldn’t help sideways glances at her. He noticed the way her shoulders were held straight, in a very assertive way, while her hair bounced around them with her long strides. He had to look more than once at her bare legs, her calf muscles flexing with every step, the skin stark between the matching gray of the shoes and the pencil skirt.
“I hope you practiced stairs, too.”
They approached the multitude of wide stone steps that led up to the rotating doors of the building.
Relena snorted in response and mounted the first step ahead of Heero.
He kept slightly behind her, keeping a watch on the groups ascending the steps around them. He saw the two men coming down the stairs from their right before Relena did, and moved fluidly in front of her to block them without impeding her progress upwards. He could tell they were reporters.
“Vice Foreign Minister, may we have a word?”
Heero glanced back for Relena’s response. She nodded at him, and he moved slightly behind her.
“Vice Foreign Minister, I understand you’ll be taking the floor to address the attendees?”
“Yes, but that’s not until tomorrow.”
She was gracious in her responses, but elusive, and continued moving while answering their questions. One of the men had a recording device while the others snapped pictures incessantly.
Heero hadn’t been paying attention to their questions, having been paying more mind to their surroundings. But he heard Relena’s gasp as soon as she let it out. His head snapping back to her, he saw that she had her upper body turned so that she was looking at a point behind them; her back was arched very slightly; her right foot was not on the surface of the stair, but rising upward.
He hardly thought about what he would do before he did it. He sprung up one step and wrapped his arms around her because it was all he could do to stop her from falling. It happened so fast, though, that he did not have time to find his own footing after catching Relena. His foot slipped off the edge of one stair, and he fell into a crouch, still holding Relena, who landed on her knees.
When he thought back on it later, it felt like they had stayed too long in that position, though he knew that he’d had the mind to help her up right away. It was Heero’s job and habit to be detail-oriented. It was the detail of the memory that made it stretch out in his mind.
One hand had been pressed against her back, where he could feel the straps of her bra underneath her blouse. His other arm had been stretched across her body, the hand holding her side near her stomach. Nearly every day for the past two years he had been with her, but they’d never been so close. Occasions came when he’d put an arm around her shoulder for the purpose of moving her, but that sort of contact had never provided him with such closeness that let him feel her warmth, her shape. It might have been because of the way they fell, but he’d looked at her face while he held her, making eye contact. She’d looked surprised, but serious somehow.
It hadn’t lasted long—he was sure of it. He’d helped her to her feet, and looked away as she brushed herself off. The two men were several steps below them, and the one with the camera was still aiming in their direction, presumably snapping away. They must have been what Relena was looking at when she lost her balance.
A police officer came to shoo the reporters away, while someone Relena knew had come over to ask after her. He said little to her throughout the day and made himself blend in so as not to disturb her activities.
He thought too much about the silence between them on the way back to the hotel. He reasoned that she was tired, or her mind was on other things. He worried over the possibility that she had noticed how close they were, but dismissed it later as something she wouldn’t have paid attention to; certainly there had been far more interesting events in her day.
She was almost cold to him at the hotel, when she went to her room and told him what time to be ready the next morning. He responded in kind, but thought about it too much when he was alone in his room again. Perhaps he should have thought more about how to stop her from falling? Less contact would have been more appropriate.
In the shower he realized he was not being himself. More control. He needed more control over his thoughts, more discipline over his emotions. He was being unreasonable, petty. He did not want to forget that he had a job to do, and that his focus should be on that.
He put on a white cotton shirt and the pants he had worn that day, not intending to leave the room again. Just as he was about to take his laptop out of its case, he noticed his phone on the table light up. There was a message from Relena: “May I see you, please?”
The resolutions he’d made in the shower were ones he held true to. He didn’t hesitate or even think to put shoes on before heading out the door and to Relena’s room down the hall. He tapped the door with his knuckles in the secure pattern they’d devised.
She opened the door, still in the same clothes, looking very serious. Heero felt conscious of the damp hair hanging over his forehead despite himself.
“Come in.” She turned back into the room and he followed.
It did not feel strange to be in a hotel room together. He’d been with her on two trips before, and once they’d eaten together in her room, just because there was nothing else to do.
“Is something the matter?”
She walked with her shoulders drawn inward, stiff. “Yes.”
“What is it?”
She collapsed onto a chaise lounge and stretched her legs out in front of her. “You can’t lecture me.”
“I won’t.”
She put her face into her hands. “I hurt myself.”
He went to kneel at the foot of the lounge. “What did you hurt?”
“I think it’s my ankle.”
“You should have taken these things off.” He pulled at her right shoe, and noticed the inflammation in her foot and ankle.
“Don’t take it off!”
“Why not?”
“It hurts more. It’s like it’s cramped or something.”
“I’m taking it off.” He slipped it away from her foot quickly, and she gasped. “Did you take a pain killer?”
“Yes.”
“These shoes are bad for your feet, you know.”
“You’ve said so before.”
“Tell me where it hurts.” He moved his fingers around her ankle gingerly, pressing down lightly against her skin. It felt feverish. “You might have torn something.”
“There!”
He pressed harder against the spot she’d stopped him at. “There?”
“Yes, stop it.” She sat herself up.
“Sorry. There’s a tendon or a ligament there, I’m not sure which. Do you want a doctor?”
“Do you think I need one?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Should I wait it out?”
“You could.”
“I don’t want to go anywhere tonight.”
“Alright.”
She rested herself against the back of the lounge again.
“You could probably tolerate another dose of whatever you took.”
“You think?”
“Where is it?”
“On the bathroom counter.”
Heero retrieved the bottle of pills and filled a glass with water from the tap for her.
“Thank you.”
While she swallowed them, he moved back over her feet to give the swollen ankle another look. Before he noticed what he was doing, he’d put his hands against her skin and began messaging lightly. He heard her sigh.
“Those things are murder on my legs.”
He moved his hands further up her leg to her calf, and felt the muscles unnaturally tight. He messaged them with a little more force.
At some point, they both noticed that they might have gone too far; Relena had let him touch her legs without protest; though he meant well at first, Heero hadn’t stopped his attentions because he was unsure of what would happen if he did.
Heero heard the fabric of Relena’s clothes move against the fabric of the lounge, then saw her hand over his. He stopped moving and stared at it. He thought she meant to stop him for a moment, but instead she began to pull his hand further up her leg.
He watched its progression over her smooth skin until his hand reached her knee, then he looked up into her face. He felt like his expression was uncertain, as if it were asking a question; hers was assured, hungry. He squeezed gently and saw her eyes widen slightly. Looking down, he saw that she had led his hand under her skirt, to the inside of her upper thigh. Her skin was warm under his hand and he felt a warmth further up her body that he didn’t even think about touching.
He looked back up at her, and moved to sit on the side of the lounge, careful to keep his hand where it was. She leaned back, but not dismissively. Her hands came forward to hold either side of his head and she pulled his face to hers for a kiss she’d never imagined would happen.
And he didn’t hesitate or protest. Her body and her eyes told him rather than asked, to touch her leg, to kiss her. He was reserved—for lack of confidence more than anything else. He’d never been kissed before, in any manner. The sensation and the closeness was overwhelming. He didn’t want to do something horribly wrong and scare her—he wasn’t ready for it to end.
But she pushed him. She moved one hand to his neck, the other to his chest. She moved her lips harder against his. His breathing increased, and he started acting without thinking—because he’d never allowed himself to imagine himself doing this with someone. He liked his hand on her leg, so close to where it shouldn’t be, so he snaked his other arm around her waist. He pulled her a little closer, and felt the softness of one of her breasts against his chest.
She pushed herself against his chest and moved her mouth differently, opening it, sliding her tongue across his lower lip. He froze, surprised at the twinge it sent through him. But he let her go further when she pressed for it. Their tongues met in his mouth and twisted, caressing each other. He felt himself getting hard.
Heero broke away from her, but only enough so he could move his lips to speak. He kept his eyes closed. He didn’t raise his voice above a whisper.
“Is this what you want?”
“I sort of hoped I’d made that clear.”
“No, I mean, are you sure?”
“Yes. I want this.”
“It’s just that—I’ve never—I don’t—”
“It’s okay. I haven’t either.” She pressed her lips against his lightly. “Let’s go to the bedroom.”
“Can you walk?”
“I don’t know.”
He lifted her of the lounge as if he was going to carry her, but swung her around so that she had to wrap her arms and legs around him. He felt the warmth of her center pressing against his stomach. She kissed him before he started walking.
The bedroom was dark, and he didn’t flip the switch by the door. Very carefully, he sat her on the bed. He had only just sat down next to her before she straddled him.
Her hands moved down his sides until they reached the hem of his shirt, which she pulled over his head. Taking her lead, he felt for the buttons on the front of her blouse, and undid them without breaking away from her. With his hand he spread it open and felt the soft skin of her chest, then downward to the fabric that covered her breasts. He wanted it off.
He was distracted, however, by the movements of Relena’s hands. She was feeling his chest and his abdomen, and breathing hard. It relaxed him, and he pulled Relena down also as he laid back onto the mattress. Incidentally, his fingers had come into contact with the fastenings of her bra. It took some effort, but they eventually separated, and he moved his hands around to the front of her body, to her exposed breasts.
With one grasped in his hand, he pushed Relena up slightly so he could lick the other one. He was drawn to the erect nipple, and felt her back arch as she moaned softly, her hips pressing against him.
He let her go so he could kiss her again, hard. She broke away, panting, and reached down to undo his pants. She could see he was aroused, and pulled the zipper down carefully. It was more obvious when only his boxer-briefs covered it, and for a moment, she felt nervousness in addition to her anticipation. She wrapped her hand around it, eliciting a gasp from Heero.
He surprised her when he sat up, taking her by the shoulders and flipping her onto the bed. He sent both his hands up her thighs again, under the skirt that neither one of them had yet removed, until he found the fabric of her panties. He slid them off with haste. His hand went back underneath her skirt, where it met the soft, moist skin of her center. For reasons he’d never imagined, it excited him, and he knew he couldn’t hold off any longer.
The skirt was not removed by Heero, but hiked up around Relena’s waist. She spread her legs—an invitation. He moved himself toward her, and met what he had felt before with his fingers. He moved against her, and they both sighed in the pleasure of it, but he knew it wasn’t quite right yet. She reached her hand down to him, and moved him to the right place.
Her hand trembled, and he felt it. He felt more sensible, suddenly.
“Are you afraid? I’m sorry.”
“No, I’m just nervous. Here.”
He moved his hand up to her face, and brushed some strands of hair aside. He kissed her again, using his tongue to show her his need. He pulled away and met her eyes for the second time that day. It was something they rarely did, but he didn’t feel embarrassed now, like he had before. He held her gaze as he pushed into her, but only so far—she gasped, as in pain.
“What—”
“Go slowly.” She nodded.
He pushed past what was holding him back and kept himself still.
“Are you okay, Relena?”
She adjusted herself to him, moving against him slightly. He closed his eyes while she did it, taking in the way she felt. He focused on not moving, on not hurting her.
Her lips were on his neck, and he took it as a signal. He pulled himself out of her, and moved back in, with more force. They gasped at the new sensation, and kissed in the fervent act of it.
He knew Relena’s nails were moving across his back harder than they should have been, that Relena was saying his name, but it was a blur—though encouraging—next to the intensity of the friction they produced between them.
He was inside her, but he wanted to be closer. Without stopping he pulled one of her legs over his shoulder. He could move differently now. Relena held on to his back and he heard her cry out. The sound was enough for him—or it was too much. Her body was rigid when he pushed into her the last time. His eyes squeezed shut, his head snapped back of its own accord, and he let out a sound mixed between a groan and a sigh.
For a few moments he could only breathe as the tingle in his back and his feet subsided. Through his mostly-dry hair he felt Relena’s hands making paths along his scalp. His eyes opened. Relena’s lips were parted, and her chest rose and fell visibly. He kissed her leg softly before unhitching it from his shoulder and rolling himself to her side.
He lay on his side so he could watch her. He observed her breasts’ movement with her breathing; the silhouette of her body in the dim room; the way her hair spread in a mess over the covers. She hadn’t moved.
“Relena?”
“Hm?” She turned her face to him.
“Are you alright?”
“Yes.” She sighed.
Heero didn’t know if he should talk or how else he should behave, so he only reached out to touch her arm. He stroked it with his thumb. They stayed like that until Relena rolled over so she was close to him. He replaced his hand on her bare hip.
“I know this probably isn’t the best time to bring this up, but it’s nagging at me.”
“What is it?”
“I didn’t mean for this to happen.”
He stiffened. “I’m sorry.”
“No, I mean that I didn’t ask you to come here with this in mind.”
“Oh.”
“I just feel like I’ve taken advantage of you.”
“I don’t know what to say to that.”
“I just—”
“I think if I were taken advantage of I would have gotten uh—cheated out of something. And that’s not how I feel.”
“Oh.” She made a breathy giggle. “I was thinking today. About today, I mean. When you stopped me from falling, I felt something—”
“Close.”
“Yes.”
“I noticed.”
“It’s strange. I thought you were my friend. Like you only wanted to be my friend.”
“I do. I did.”
“I thought I was being stupid. I was afraid I upset you. I knew I was taking a risk when I touched your hand, but it just felt like the right thing to do from there. I was afraid you’d brush me off or something.”
“I’m sorry if I’ve left that impression on you.”
“Stop apologizing.”
“Okay.”
“I just want to know if I forced you into anything.”
“I hope that’s not how I seemed. I—I thought about you today, too. In your heels and everything.”
“My heels?”
“Yes. They’re very becoming.”
“So you’ve said.”
“This is…not a familiar to me. I thought about you…more.”
They were quiet for a moment until Relena went on. “I just want to know if things are still going to be the same tomorrow. Will you still be my—my friend?”
“It’s my job to do the same things for you tomorrow. And I can still be your friend, if you want me to. But I don’t think that friends,” he touched her face, “do this.”
“You’re right.”
“I won’t be more than you want me to, Relena. But I couldn’t be this way with anyone else. You know that, right?”
“I know.”
“I think it’s a violation of my position to be so close to you, but if it’s what you want, I’ll do it.”
“What I want?”
“Yes.”
“What do you want?”
“I want you to stop wearing heels in public.” She pushed his shoulder. “I’m sorry. I want to—to be with you again like we are right now. I want to see you every day like I always do.”
“That sounds right.” She reached her arms up around his neck and pressed her face into his chest. It was not yet late in the night, but she knew that leaving the bed would force them to start sorting through what they were and what they could be. For the moment, she just wanted to be close to him again.
“About the heels—”
“Hm?”
“I don’t think you should wear them in public, but I don’t want you to throw them away, either.”
“What?”
“Do you promise?”
“You’re sick.”
“Do you?”
“Yes.”

Author's Note: So this was the first lemon I ever wrote-- for CoL 2009-- so I feel like I might have been a little too cautious. I just feel like I tried to stick to an easy situation to get the lemon out. That being said, it's mine, and it's not posted anywhere else, besides the Love Reflection Mailing List Archives. I hope that despite my reservations, it provides an enjoyable reading experience.

--Penguinator27 (4/26/10)