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Living At Kame House	By : chroniclyflaming Category: Dragon Ball Z > Threesomes/Moresomes Views: 928 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
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Chapter List
- 1-Living At Kame House
- 1
The prompt: To continue the weird Krillin/Android streak, Master Roshi and Oolong become concerned that 18 might be hurting Krillin. So they spy on them.
Bonus, bonus points if there's extra weird 18/Krillin/17 in it.

The fill:

They all sat around in a circle, cups of coffee sitting on the floor, everyone either trying purposely to make or avoid eye contact. Every gesture self-conscious. Event the squeak of the uncomfortable pad-less chairs they all sat on. You had to wonder what the other people were in here for, the exact scintillating details. In other situations, Roshi would have been complimenting the girls here, and Oolong would be giggling and nudging him over someone in particular.

But none had the energy or spirit for such things anymore.

The people, even the pretty women, were just objects from which to extract information that would allow everything to go back to normal. They hadn’t even looked at a dirty magazine with any interest in two days.

“So, what brings you to this S.L.A.A. meeting?”

Roshi sighed and rubbed his eyes beneath his sunglasses. People here had frowned over that, thinking he was trying to disguise himself. He could feel a headache swirling behind his eyes. It was surprisingly difficult to unearth what he and his friend had tried to hide and repress, even if they’d lost to the attempt at ignoring what had happened.

“My friend and I…we’re here together because of a problem we have.”

Oolong rubbed the back of his head, already humiliated to be here. But it was for their roommate, who was so obviously damaged.

“Well, why don’t you tell us about the problem. No one here’s going to judge you.”

“It’s not about us!”

“No, it’s not. And not in some denial sense. We’re here looking for advice for our friend.”

“He’s…really, really messed up.”

“And neither of us saw it coming.”

The turtle hermit and shape-shifting pig exchanged sorrowful looks. “Well, we had a clue the man was desperate.”

“Hasn’t had a girlfriend in years. Refused to look at any porn, was talking about a vow of celibacy.” Oolong shrugged. “So, okay, we had a feeling the guy was a bit of a mess.”

“But not to this extent.” Roshi felt like he had to defend himself before these strangers, especially the blank-faced counselor. “If we’d known, we would have helped him.”

“And he started refusing to go to Single’s Nights with us.”

“Stopped talking about getting married. About even getting a girlfriend.”

“But we couldn’t have known what he was doing.” They took comfort in that.

“I’m sorry; you’re here to gather information for an intervention?”

“Yes.” The word was a long cold drink of water on a hot day in the desert. “An intervention.”

“God, but, we’d have to tell everyone. Then tell them how we found out. Plus tell Krillin, and well, I don’t know what he’s capable of anymore.”

“So, you found your friend…what, exactly?”

“It was…terrible.” He sipped at the bad, burnt-urn coffee. “I don’t want to use details to describe it.”

“And you think he’s…addicted to sex? Or being in a relationship? Because that’s specifically what this meeting is focused on.”

“I don’t know what he is, anymore.” His poor boy. The sweet hidden one that had always looked to him for guidance and support, so quick to try and smile and make others feel better even at his own cost. Whom Roshi had thought had grown to a kind, special young man with a big heart and good sense of humor, and deserved the best, not, not…

The weirdest.

“I think he was so desperate for a girlfriend, and sex, that he did…what he did.”

“Yeah, because Krillin’s so, not, like that.”

“He’s normal!”

“At least, well, one of them—“

“Shut up. I’m trying not to think about that.”

“But that’s why we’re here. To talk about it. That stuff. What they did.”

“Stop.”

“What they had Krillin do!”

“Do you think I want to hear about my pupil doing that!? I was there, I know.”

“But it was so bad.”

“Knock it—“

“He was wearing chaps!” Oolong howled, rolling in his seat, reliving the memory.

Krillin had no idea, first off, what he was getting into with Juuhachigou. She was mean, defensive, cold, rude, and built little better than a twelve-year-old boy. Plus, she was an android created to destroy Krillin’s best friend. What more was there to say? She couldn’t cook or clean much, either. And she didn’t like Krillin’s friends very much, dodging them whenever they’d stop by, ignoring their attempts at becoming friends. Then she’d be all paranoid that they hated her and wished her dead.

But oh, the little guy just worshiped her. He would just about get on his knees and pray to her when she entered the room, to everyone’s amusement. Even Juuhachigou would raise a pale eyebrow at his neediness. Maybe a bit cruel, sure, but what else could be done? No amount of talking to would slap that stupid dizzy look on his face off when he’d look at her.

Not even the android could handle his affection, trying to wave off his attempts at getting closer to her, repeating over and over that she was only here because she didn’t want to deal with her brother, nearly shoving him away when he’d walk behind her, laughing nervously while he’d just about corner her to ask how her night had been.

Which, in retrospect, was all suspect. Maybe he had known completely how her night had been, since it was possible he was there, with her. It was impossible to know when exactly they’d begun, doing, uuh, whatever it was that they did. Even the day before Roshi and Oolong found the darkness of Krillin’s soul, they’d acted the same as normal: Krillin clingy, Juuhachigou annoyed.

And…Juunanagou, he hadn’t even been there at all.

All in all, both their behavior had alarmed Oolong and Master Roshi. Any day she would snap and hurt him, just beat him up so she wouldn’t have to deal with his offers of dinner. Maybe even now, she was threatening him to keep his distance, and Krillin, starry-eyed, was ignoring her. Because he would, (again suspect with retrospect) often come check on her before going to bed to make sure she didn’t need anything like say, a glass of milk or well maybe a cuddle or something, or maybe she just had an urge to play with his dick for awhile, maybe?

It had led to everyone downstairs and learning of this, to shake their heads. Roshi and Oolong, out of the goodness of their hearts, began leaving porn by his front door as a symbol to just stop following her around like a puppy and focus on other girls. Even non-real girls in movies or magazines. Anything was better than watching him futz around with Juuhachigou, who couldn’t be less interested in him and made such facts apparent to anyone with more than two senses.

Once, when he’d been talking to her, asking questions about her past as the breakfast table and leaning too close, she’d literally pushed his chair away with her foot. Told him to shut up before she made him, while he flinched into his cereal. But still he persisted. There was pity for both of them, Juuhachigou who didn’t want to be around her even worse brother, and Krillin who was so desperate for her approval he’d do just about anything.

What they needed was for him to meet someone who would return his feelings, and for her to leave and maybe meet someone who was easy to lie to. They seemed to be so bad together, like a teapot that was being left to boil on the stove. Sure it was letting out a little steam so it wouldn’t immediately go crazy, but as everyone in the house knew when Bulma had stayed here, if you didn’t move the damn teapot it was going to explode and shards of porcelain would end up in the ceiling for years.

Krillin desperately needed to move the teapot before Juuhachigou stabbed him with something.

But he’d wave around all mention of this, refusing to move on from her. “You guys just don’t understand her.”

“And you think you do?”

He’d smiled that stupid dopey look that was worse even than Goku before cake. “I think I do, a little.”

“And she likes you? Does she? Has she told you this?”

“No—it’s difficult to explain. But I think she does like me, a little. I don’t know. But I can’t just not try my hardest, right, Master?”

Throwing back the preservation and bravery that Roshi had tried to instill in his students. “Son, you need to leave her alone before she snaps your neck.”

And then, one fateful day, they’d heard a noise in his room, in the middle of the night. Oolong and Roshi had snapped away from the couch in the living room, as though expected this moment to arrive. Carefully, nearly wordlessly, they’d creeped up the stairs, sure they’d find Krillin bleeding and on the floor.

But they were clever about their peeking into his room. Not just barging in, which arguably would have been worse. Then they couldn’t have even pretended they hadn’t known what Krillin and Juuhachigou did the next day. Instead, they’d drilled two tiny holes in the corners of the wall, just big enough to barely look through. At the time, before they’d actually looked through the hole, they’d considered it a great break that Krillin hadn’t heard the drill.

Then they understood why he hadn’t: because he was not physically capable of such mental ability at the moment. He was technically on the floor, though sitting, and he definitely, definitely wasn’t alone. The bed began creaking, which was confusing, until synchronically their gaze trailed upward. Then they both made a noise like, “Euugh.”

Juunanagou was there, on the bed, jumping up and down. In leather pants. Chaps, actually, with jeans thankfully beneath them. And wearing a cowboy hat. And his scarf.

“C’mon, Krillin.”

“This is so ridiculous.” Juuhachigou sounded disgusted, and the two looking on looked to her for sanity, but instead only found her in some modified cowgirl outfit. It was less eye searing than Juunanagou, true. But she also looked so annoyed and angry it stole away the sex angle. Which was really, really saying something. “I hate this skirt.”

Thank God and Kami and Piccolo and Dende and all the Nameks everywhere that the androids hadn’t heard them. Even years later, if in some strange situation they would recall this moment, they would mentally send a prayer out to the green-skinned alien race.

“Aww.” All Krillin needed was a tail to wag as he looked up at her. “I think you look adorable.”

She smiled at him from her place seated on the desk. No, she did not smile, this machine. She leered. An awful, unbelievable sight. “Oh, do you?”

“Hey!” Juunanagou nearly kicked him.

“Watch the spurs!”

“I didn’t come here to watch you flirt with my sister.”

His sister sounded bored, and began literally looking at her fingernails. “Then why did you come here?”

“To…come?”

“Well.” Krillin heaved a put-upon sigh. “I guess it would be rude to not entertain my guests.”

“Entertain? Well, if you want to call it that. C’mere, shrimp.”

“Hey, hey, I got dibs.”

“Not this again.” Juuhachigou straightened down her skirt, annoyed. Pinching the fabric between two fingers in a way the two other guys watching (Oolong and Roshi) hadn’t understood until later.

Krillin looked from one teenage terror to the other. “On my knees?”

Both androids agreed with this assessment.

They’d seen some fucked up things in their time. Not just stuff like Goku turning into a giant monkey, and then Goku getting married, and having a kid that did the same thing, and then finding out that Goku was a space alien sent to conquer the planet. Or even Bulma hooking up and having a kid with a crazy psychotic space alien pirate. Or watching seven magical balls come together to bring forth a giant dragon that could bring people back to life. There was that stuff, and plenty of weird porn that was pushed in the dirty movie stores, the freaky sex acts and downright debauchery that made even the turtle hermit turn green.

But Krillin having his head shoved down beneath Juuhachigou’s skirt while his hand went to Juunanagou’s crotch was the worst thing they’d ever seen. The most perverted, disturbing act to ever be perpetrated in this house.

From this angle too, and because she wasn’t fully undressing, they couldn’t even see any part of Juuhachigou that might have made this entire thing a little easier to stand.

“You stupid little fuck. Right.” Moving her hips in a way that could bring forth nosebleeds. “There.”

Krillin pulled away, still not showing the pig and old man even a tiny bit of skin that they would have actually wanted to see. “Why are you so rude? Even now. I mean, I’m doing exactly what you want, and still get insulted.”

The blonde straight up slapped him. “Oh, like you don’t love it.”

“Ooooowwww!”

“Goddamnit,” Juunanagou nearly shrieked. Because even if you were an android, no one liked being left in the cold. “Just shut up and get on with it.”

The shorter fighter stopped rubbing his head, grimacing, to continue jerking the other guy off. Roshi and Oolong would have preferred to watch him getting beaten up. Really, the way he was literally on his knees made him look like he should have been in prison doing this.

Juunanagou was pushing hair of his face. “So sick of you two flirting.”

“Then get out!”

“Oh, you’d like that wouldn’t you?” Didn’t give her a single second to answer. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Then neither am I.” Juuhachigou grabbed Krillin’s head and shoved it back under her skirt. Automatically, his hand went back to Juunanagou’s crotch.

That was when Roshi and Oolong began regretting this entire excursion upstairs.

Up until the point, the old man had been clinging to the idea that they were just…playing a game of some kind. Oolong later told him that he’d thought that they were just fooling around, like they knew that someone was watching them and this was just all a big joke.

Perhaps they’d been so numbed and desensitized by all the porn because they continued to watch. Gay porn was admittedly something new. Juuhachigou was hot, at least. Though they still couldn’t see anything, even as she yanked him up for a sloppy kiss as her brother groped his ass.

The blonde twin began nipping at his neck and cheek, “Have to say, this is better than playing ‘doctor’ with you.”

The brunette twin was yanking off Krillin’s pants, and then struggling to pull down his own. “Yeah, since now we don’t have to wait for you to finish ‘checking’ over the other one.”

“Personally.” Krillin was nearly nuzzling Juuhachigou, as though they were some normal couple having a tender moment, than him about to be double-teamed by her and her brother. “I prefer this to that ‘remote control’ thing. That was unnerving.”

“Oh, you loved us pretending to be your sex slaves.” The cowboy vest with nothing underneath, as ridiculous as it looked on Juunanagou, was still better than seeing him whip it off and throw it across the room. “Mm, if you’re good, maybe you can get my belt buckle. Then you can be my buckle bunny.”

Krillin blushed at that. That was the thing that embarrassed him, not having his short pulled down by another guy, his ass inspected, and then whistled at. Though, to be fair, he did make a face at that and go, “Juunanagou!” like the android had spilled milk or had to be harassed to take the garbage out.

Juuhachigou did not like this. At all. Her look at them both was a hideous thing that would haunt the old hermit and the pig watching. Could have frozen volcanoes with that look. It was even worse than Chi-Chi’s glare. “Are you going to talk, or are you going to let us fuck you?”

“Can’t I do both.” Then he kissed the tip of her nose. “Okay. Now let’s see, how do I get you out of this thing? Though you do look very cute in it.”

“You walk into her room, in your dorky pajamas, and ask her if she needs any help.” The darker teenager paused. “While she’s…Ew, I don’t even want to finish this sentence, so I’m just going to awkwardly trail off here.”

“Ah-hah! I knew that’s what you were going—and that’s what did it!” Krillin nearly yelled, and Oolong and Roshi nearly joined him.

“Oh, shut up. You were literally just lucky to be there at the right time.”

“Okay, sure Juuhachi.” A wet loud kiss to her forehead. “I get it. You’re just shy is all.”

The two watching would disagree to that. Juunanagou was struggling to pull out a small bottle of lube from his pants. Juuhachigou was still fully dressed.

Krillin shrugged, ignoring the grunting man behind him complaining about his chaps. Another affectionate kiss that made Juuhachigou roll her eyes. “That’s okay. And now I’m going to be the pony you’re both going to ride.”

“Ah, finally. Okay, lean over and spread ‘em.”

Roshi and Oolong knew then it was time to leave.

The bitter, burnt urn coffee was finished. And so was their tale. Oolong and the turtle hermit looked up to shifting eyes.

“--Wait. You’re house is full of porn. Literally full of porn.”

Roshi lectured. Since he could no longer do that to Krillin, as looking the short fighter in the eye was now impossible. “Don’t interrupt—“

“Yeah, we have a healthy appreciation for the human form. But that’s not the point.”

The leader, despite his neutrality, was looking a little creeped out. “You watch porn all day? And you sat there and spied on your roommate having sex?”

“Dear god.” People were pushing their chairs back from the two newcomers.

“We didn’t want to, you understand. Well, maybe if it had just been Juuhachigou though. God knows we’ve been trying to sneak cameras into her room.” They looked down at their coffee cups, realizing how long it had been since they’d tried such a stunt. How Krillin would discover them, remove the bugs and cameras, and yell at his two roommates. Being all chivalrous, they’d thought. Now they knew he was probably just covering his tracks, and hiding weird bathroom orgies and role playing in the bedrooms that were now forever tainted.

Thankfully, they were able to cover the holes in the wall, and if their short friend and his strange twin sexbuddies (Roshi refused to think of them in any way as Krillin’s girlfriend/boyfriend, as Oolong would smirk and wonder which was which exactly) knew that they knew, there was no sign.

“You try and take pictures of some girl undressing? That poor woman. Does she know about that?”

“Why aren’t any of you concerned about our friend having weird sex with mean teenage twins?”

A brief spill of sanity, “Are they underage?”

“No. But they’re weird. Borderline murderous. They tried to kill his best friend. Even if the girl one is hot, that’s still messed up.”

“Have any of you even been listening?”

Oolong was nearly glaring at everyone in the room, nearly screaming. “Just tell us, exactly, how to make Krillin normal again. There’s gotta be a way, right?”

“Exactly. How do we make him stop?”

“Please, just tell us, how do we make him normal?”

The expressions of the other people in the room were of varying degrees of pity. Anyone there could have told them that change could only occurred if the person wanted it to—and why should their friend stop? As with watching Krillin and the androids, they slowly understood the fully meaning of what was occurring, and what it meant.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, yeah, but what if, what if they dragged more people into this? Because I overheard Juuhachigou talking to her brother about asking Yamcha and Future T—“

“That’s enough.” Roshi pushed the shape-shifting pig with his staff. “I don’t want to hear it. From now on, Krillin had a disease, and we just won’t speak of it. Ever. Nothing can be done, but at the least, I don’t want to know about it.

“Now let’s go home, and watch some normal softcore porn, and forget about this.”
- 1
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Living At Kame House