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Isn't Life Grand?	By : FelixMcKadden Category: Dragon Ball Z > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 2493 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: I do not own DragonballZ, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Isn't Life Grand?
- 1
Dedicated to Nashi. With special thanks to Ashes. In loving memory of Chibi Vegeta.

A/N: Revamped 2013. Ghetto on purpose! 8D
Isn't Life Grand?
Being inside Buu is like being in a nightmare. All these slimy, gross things mucking about trying to either make me smell just as disgusting as them or get stains on my clothes. I truly, truly, despise Majin Buu. Kakarot hasn't been much help either. Being fused with him was not just awkward, but humiliating, but I now understand why he is such a good fighter. Yes, he fights exceedingly well, but if it wasn't for my skill and cunning, he would get nowhere in this place. Almost died more times than I can count...
I turn a corner and something catches my eye. This place looks different, and there seems to be figures trapped in some type of membrane. "Kakarot, this way!" I point the direction before heading off towards it myself. The green offsets the dreariness of this place, and I hope for the best.
"It's Piccolo!" Kakarot shouts happily.
"Don't just stand there," I say, folding my arms, "Make sure he's alive." There's no way I'm touching the Namekian. I've had to touch enough nastiness for one day. Thank god I wear gloves. Kakarot feels his face, a look of concentration overcoming his features. Suddenly, he brightens.
"Yes, he's fine!" he looks someplace over my shoulder, "Look, Vegeta!" I look and am not as surprised as he is. "Gohan! Goten! Trunks! They're all here!" he cries out with joy. There's not too much enthusiasm in predictability for me, but whatever works for him is fine, so long as he doesn't keep repeating the obvious like he's done so before. We cut our allies and our families free. "What's that?" he asks suddenly, confusion written all over him. I turn and look.
I remember that face well. It was the last face I saw before I died. We approach the chubby pink wrapped in what looks to be dark flame-broiled pink grossness. God, I hate Buu. "I thought there was only one Buu," he says, still looking perplexed. He glances at me, "Shall we read his mind?" I step forward, deciding that perhaps this mystery should be solved. But I still cringe as I touch it. Him. Whatever.
He threw a hissy fit, expelled another version of himself, tried to turn that version into chocolate and got a dose of his own medicine. Then he ate himself. GodDAMNIT, I hate Buu so much! What kind of loser has problems like these!? How immature! It nearly sickens me as much as those worms. The thought of them brings a sour expression to my face before I can resist it. Kakarot didn't notice. Good.
We start discussing our ability to destroy this ugly thing when he brings up.. the.. suggestion.
"There's a way for us to still beat Majin Buu!" he says with a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.
"No!" I instantly respond.
"But you haven't even heard the idea yet!" he pouts.
"Let me guess," I roll my eyes, "It begins with a 'F' and ends with an 'N'. Am I right?" What does he take me for? Stupid? We were Vegito, I know how his mind works. His idea has potential, but never in a million years would I be caught dead fusing with him again, nor with anyone. Fusion is just embarrassment except with some letters interchanged. I try to steer the direction of the conversation into the aspect of fighting Buu when the time comes, but he's pretty intent on this whole fusion business.
"Why not? This version isn't permanent."
"I'm not doing that stupid dance!"
"Is that all you're worried about?"
"I'm a warrior! You should be ashamed of yourself for performing such a stupid... stupid... stupid action!" I finish lamely because I'm getting so upset I can't think straight. Which is odd, because normally I can insult under pressure just fine.
Then, we hear Buu's stupid laugh. I hate that laugh so much. It's so grating it just makes me want to punch babies.
There to our side, it's him - Buu - as I've never seen him before. Fine, let us fight, anything to make the whiny brat shut up. Kakarot, I know, doesn't exactly care, but I could never handle being laughed at. Kakarot obviously doesn't know the pain of that particular humiliation. Damn bastard. Mental note: Find an opportune moment to laugh derisively in Kakarot's face.
Kakarot tries to blow a hole in Buu's head and is unsuccessful. He's been acting different since the tournament. More sure of himself. Almost cocky. More Saiyan. Maybe being dead was good for him. Gave him time away from the influence of all these humans.
"You shouldn't have crushed the earring!" he complains, "Now we can't fuse again!"
Buu grins at us like an idiot, so, in essence, like Kakarot, "So you can't fuse now, huh?"
"Anything ELSE you'd like to share with him!?" I berate. It's reasons like this that we're stuck inside of some sugar food junkie's head. "Maybe your life story!?" I suggest. Holy hell, how did he make it this far in life when he can blurt out shit like that in front of an enemy? It makes me wonder, if I asked him what weaknesses he had when I first came to Earth would he have been stupid enough to just tell me? Well, that's one good result about being Vegito: I know all about his fear of needles. I must keep that bit of information forever logged in my memory banks.
Wait. Oh. OH NO. What if he knows about my.. issue.. with insects? Fuuuuuuuuuuuck. Dammit, this isn't the time to worry about that, as Buu's laugh reminds me, pulling me back to the here and now of fighting for the universe. You'd think I wouldn't get distracted in a situation like this. But you'd be wrong. I waver between righteous(?) fury and apathy. Fury for this pink pustule's unwavering audacity and smug, stupid fucking grin - and apathy because of the immense amount of bullshit that's piling up is making me not give a half of two fucks otherwise my fury would somehow transcend into something like true insanity. My pride and insanity are not friends. They're assholes that spread lies and rumors about each other.
"Vegeta!" Kakarot cries out sharply.
Right. Buu. We've done it once, and I suppose I can endure it again - I will fight beside him. It's a bit degrading, but I wouldn't like to die again. Come to think of it, I'd rather die than fuse with him. But AH SHIT, I'm already dead aren't I? I just can't catch a break. We have to pass Buu. Simple enough, or so I think.
I go one way, Kakarot another. Buu grabs each of us and cracks our heads together, and FUCK does it hurt like a bitch!! Involuntary tears well up in both of our eyes. I feel so entirely ashamed, so I mask it, pretending I don't even notice the tears. "What the hell is your head made of!?" I scream at Kakarot. It's so much easier to blame him for anything. He snaps out of his pain as he realizes he's not acting macho. I follow suit. Buu laughs at us. Buu laughs at me. We are so lucky we're not in a nursery.
"Shut up!" I yell. I can't take this for much longer. The laughter increases and I snap, albiet like a twig. I release a roar of frustration and power up, just to do some venting. Ok, so I'm trying to kill Buu, but since my intentions always make me look the best, I was just relieving some pent up aggression. Kakarot manages to convince me to calm down. I must be out of it because I have no idea how he could have so much charisma to persuade me of anything. We will beat Buu together. Fine, whatever, anything to make the prick shut up!
We fall back a good distance, and I get ready. Kakarot gets beside me, transforming, then cupping his hands horizontally, as I do mine vertically. We are cheek to cheek, and just for a moment, I realize how close we are. I realize this, and I blush. I want to get in a different position. We are ridiculously close. Why can't we just team up like we did when fighting that bastard, metal concoction of Cooler? He slides in next to me more snuggly, but stands a bit behind so he can wrap his arms around easier to get his hands into the correct position, but he's large enough to do so and not infringe upon our stance. Ugh. Why does he have to be taller than me!? It's bad enough he has more brute strength than me, but he's got to literally look down on me too!? I grit my teeth.
This had better work or we're dead.
"When I say 'now', let's blast him!" Kakarot glances at me for confirmation.
"No!" I reply. I'm the prince who's done mercenary work, I'll call the shots! Low level ingrate... "When I say 'now', then we go!" I nearly spit back.
"Wait, are we going to count down?" he asks.
"You're seriously asking me this right now?" I feel my jaw drop as he nods. "Why can't you just blast him when I say 'now'!?"
"Well, we wouldn't be blasting at the exact moment then, would we?"
My eye twitches as I mentally facepalm. "Fine! I'll count to three and then say 'now'!"
"Wait, are you going to do 'one, two, three, now' or 'one, two, now'?"
"Kakarot, I... You... This is..." there is so much anger I'm becoming inarticulate. I finally clarify, "We'll do 'one, two, now,' ok? It's faster to do it that way."
He agrees, nodding. He shifts a bit as if he's getting comfortable. And just then, mere heartbeats before starting the count down, I feel something pressing against me. It takes a second for me to figure out what it is, then another second for shock, and another for recovery. I whip my head to the side to look Kakarot in the eye as I feel outrage brewing within myself, "Kakarot! What the hell do you think you're doing!?" He looks at me innocently.
"What do you mean, Vegeta?" he asks. Like me, Majin Buu is becoming less of a priority for him.
"This!" I hiss, bucking backwards with a great deal of force, trying to knock him off balance, "Get your...crotch off of me!"
He looks down at the tent in his orange gi and laughs nervously, "Ah, sorry, Vegeta! I guess it just couldn't resist with an ass as fine as yours!"
"WHAT." I stand transfixed. Is Kakarot really saying these things? I hope I did snap and this is just me stuck in a delusional state. I hope so very much.
"Sure!" Kakarot beams, offering me praise, "Nice and tight, great curves, firm yet plush..." He trails off as a sort of dark, dreamy look comes over his face, which I don't like one bit. "Perfect proportion," he adds with a purr before groping my right buttock. I can't help it, I make some cross between a squeak and a yelp.
"Hands off!" I shout, knocking the appendage away.
"But Vegeta, it looks to me like you liked that!" he defends his actions. I look down with great apprehension, and to my horror I see a bulge in my navy spandex. No! This can't be happening! ...Damn Bulma! If only she touched me more often! How embarrasing is it that one little grope could get me so turned on!? "I have a headache," she'd say. "I'm sore for weeks after we do it," she'd say. "It feels like a gunshot to my womb when you come inside me," she'd say. All these superficial excuses have left me to the company of my hand. And isn't it so great when the most interesting change in your sex life is switching from left to right or right to left? I automatically growl in frustration because how in the name of everything sacred and mistreated am I supposed to resolve this NOW? Then, the answer comes from the most unlikely of sources.
"Let me help!" Kakarot says cheerfully as he grabs my hips and kneels before me. I'm at a loss for words so I push him away, but he pulls me back with such force I nearly topple forward. He purrs up against my abs, the vibrations awakening sensations in my groin that previously went unnoticed.
I blush again, "Kakarot, lay off!" He disobeys my command, and his lips nibble at my enclosed erection. I grab his hair, intending to pull him away when he starts to suck through the fabric, his mouth fully open and teeth lightly scraping. My form instantly falters. I'm losing my mind. I haven't been laid in what feels like an eternity. Instead of yelling "Get the fuck off me!", I hiss "Oh, fuck yes!". I am so eloquent.
His hands grasp the waistband of my pants, pulling down enough to free my cock. Kakarot gives me a quiet wolf whistle before his hand grasps it. I jerk at the contact, some undignified noise trying to break free from my throat. His tongue begins darting over the sensitive skin and I feel all control and pride creep away from me and into some corner where they wither and die.
His touches are soft, but to my under-stimulated body it doesn't matter - this is the best head I've gotten in as far as I can remember. My hands twine in his hair, urging him to continue as opposed to my previous intentions. Wet heat taunts my aroused body and I try desperately to receive more of the glorious treatment, but he refuses to take me completely into his mouth. God, I'm so frustrated, I feel like I could bust a nut from this foreplay! His lips tighten just below the head, leaving enough room for his tongue to lick the ridge before he sucks. HARD. Harder than anyone has ever been able to do before and my head spins and I think I scream and his hands are cupping my balls and I feel like I'm burning up from the inside out and I've nearly lost all sense of coherancy and I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.
Kakarot draws away, making my eyes snap open. I want to seriously injure him for stopping. He lounges on the ground - out of form as well now - asking, "Can't I have some too?"
I finally am aware of how much I'm blushing when he asks his question. Without any modesty, he slips down his gi, then boxers, and then he lightly starts jerking off. I stand stupidly above him, as if waiting for his return. "Vegetaaaaa," he whines, his strokes full and slow, "C'mon, I promise I'll finish making it better." I slowly kneel down between his spread thighs and he caresses me reassuringly. I smell his arousal, a sweet musky scent that has to be loaded with phermones because it causes my cock to throb. I put my hands flat on the ground on either side of him as I stare awkwardly on my hands and knees. "Just a little, Vegeta?" he whimpers pathetically, his eyes almost slits, but they twinkle with avid desire, "Please?"
His voice begs me even if he's only asking for a favor. Whatever happens now, whatever the consequence, he owes me. He's in my debt.
I go down on him.
He bucks as I explore him with my tongue with light, casual touches like he's done to me. He moans incessantly at each kiss and lick, his head tossing back and forth. Oh ho ho, and isn't this dominance such a turn on because exerting this control makes me feel so hard I wonder if I'm suffering from blue balls. I tease all the sensitive spots that I personally enjoy being exacted on me. I could get used to him like this, having him scream my name. I'm driving him insane. I can tell by the way he's trying to force his cock down my throat. But when he thrusts, I pull back and let my mouth go slack so the contact is only vague enough to keep him craving more. I love every second of torturing him.
"Vegeta!" he suddenly and firmly grabs my hair and pulls me back. It didn't hurt so I just raise an eyebrow. But the sleepy, intense look in his eyes makes me nervous. But not nearly as much as his next words. "I need it. I need it now!" he says in beastial tones. To say the least, I'm too shocked to respond in the slightest. What happened to the happy-go-lucky Saiyan who so enthusiastically gave me a blowjob? A blowjob unfulfilled, granted, but an amazing blowjob nonetheless.
He pushes himself up and forward, knocking me to the ground.
"Kakarot! What!" I shout in surprise as he tears the rest of our clothes off. Doesn't he know how hard it is to replace these suits? Obviously not. He probably has a proper wife who takes care of things for him, like the laundry. And putting out.
But maybe not by the way he's so savagely and loudly purring. He lifts my legs high, spreading me wide. Once I realize his intentions, I try to stop him. "No, wait!" I cry out, trying to rise with what strength I can muster. His lips descend upon my chest, pulling and sucking and licking my nipples so nicely that I have to bite back a moan. I flimsily try to beat him away with no avail, even as I writhe from the wonderful sensations.
He pulls me close and I feel his thick, hard cock press against me. Kakarot wouldn't possibly do this to me, would he? This is absolute madness!
He cups my chin to make me look him in the eye. Promise is held in those depths, somehow making me relax. Then the moment is ruined as he thrusts forward, entering me. I choke for words, "G----ha---aahh! Ka!...karot!!" Eyes closed, face flushed with pleasure, lips parted in delight... he looks exactly opposite to how I feel. I squirm uncomfortably, his size causing a piercing ache.
He finally opens his eyes and sees my face. "It hurts?" he asks, looking concerned.
"Idiot! Of course it hurts! Let's see how you like to be impaled by a large, blunt object!" I growl back.
"That's odd, it's supposed to feel good," he replies, expression now full of confusion. "Hmm... How about this?" Kakarot asks before wrapping his hand around my waist and playing with the furry nub of what's left of my tail. I shudder, amazed that he'd be so daring as to touch a Saiyan in such an intimate way. Then again, he's daring enough to shove his dick into his prince.
"Nngh," I respond with an approving sound since my vocabulary seems to be significantly hindered from the lack of blood to my brain.
"Alright!" he cheers himself on - I assume. Releasing his hold on me, he switches positions. Both hands cup the back of my knees and he pulls them up to rest over his shoulders. It's such a tight position and I can feel him sinking farther into me and suddenly it isn't so bad anymore and I can't help but moan enthusiastically when he stops. Fuck, he is huge. There's still an edge of pain, but now I know what people mean when they say "it hurts so good."
Panting, I reach out and grasp his waist, trying to keep him steady until I'm ready this time. He grins down at me, but not with his normal childlike excitement, but with something much more keen and lecherous. His purr returns, as boisterous as a jet engine, and he narrows his eyes looking pleased with himself. "Ready?" he asks, his voice so dark and husky I shiver at the full comprehension of what's to transpire. He's going to fuck me, and damned if I won't enjoy it. Anything worth doing is worth doing right, and sex is pretty much always worth it. Even if it is with Kakarot. And even if I'm on bottom. I release a deep sigh and rub the hand that was holding him at bay down his flank in a silent way of giving consent.
He pulls back agonizingly slow only to slam into me. I can't help it, I scream. It's like my lungs can't help but shout out the surprise of me being so ruthlessly plundered.
"Good?" Kakarot asks me with an air of smugness as he starts a rhythm, gauging my reactions. I never would have thought that this could feel so goddamn mind-blowing, but then again, the idiot is always full of surprises. His pace increases, his thrusts become harder, I feel my eyes roll back into my head. Oh god... I am losing my mind! Damn him, he's fucking me senseless!
"Oh!...god!...fuck!...god!...me!...yes!" I'm desperately trying to buck back against him to get more of him. Listening to the sound of his moans makes my cock throb almost painfully. And suddenly he falls back, his hands on my hips, pulling me down hard as he thrusts up. "AAAHHHNGH!" I shout as he goes balls deep, unable to fathom how my body can take it. Unintelligible noises are what's left of my speech as he bounces me. His movements become frantic and all I can do is ride it out, literally not having the strength to hold myself up. My head falls back, my spine bends, my arms hang limp, and I'm sure I'd be lying across his legs if he didn't have such a death grip on my hips, bruising even my tough skin.
"Nh!! Vegeta.. you feel.. so.. good!" he cries out, brutally slamming into me with enough force to indeed knock the breath out of me. It's hard to inhale and I'm dizzy and my body tingles and I'm loving every minute of this. This can't compare to anyone else. Never has sex been this good. But never have I had a partner that could do the things that he does to my body. Or even the things I could do to him, if I had the willpower, time, or stamina. His strength and power are intoxicating.
"Unn..! More!" I demand between labored gasps. He changes the angle to one so ludicrously wonderful the gasps turn to howls.
Kakarot rocks me with progressive intensity, gritting his teeth and speaking gutterally, "Uhh!... you sound.. so good!" I groan loudly at this, making him shudder, the quiver transferring from him to me in the most amazing of ways. He's panting harshly, face flushed and a sheen of sweat making his skin glisten. Damn, he looks so sexy. My bobbing cock seems to agree by the way it jolts and twitches at this observation. I grit my teeth as well, closing my eyes as I manage to growl out, "More!"
He moves faster instead of harder like I wanted, and I figure the only way to get what I want is to flat out tell him, otherwise we could be fucking for days before he'd figure it out on his own, "Dammit, Kakarot! I can take it! Give me everything!" A bit faster and a bit harder, but not fast or hard enough. "NGH!! GO SUPER SAIYAN, YOU FUCKING IMBECILIC COCKTEASE!" Not exactly terms of endearment, but that's what he gets for holding out on me.
"Oh!" he says, a spike of shock and excitement in his exclamation, obviously never having considered this a possibility. And I never considered the ramifications of encouraging it. His grip gets harder, his hair stands on end, his aura sparks to life and surrounds us. An inkling of doubt passes through me, but I asked for it. Now I'm going to get it.
And get it I do. His transformation makes him so hot that my entire body flushes at the contact, making me feverish. His thrusts are so hard and fast and deep that if our positions were reversed I'd wonder if he was trying to pound me into the ground. I feel completely lost, stuck in a typhon of ecstacy, and I'm smiling like I'm drugged or drunk.
Letting go for once. Letting someone else have control. And knowing they'll only use this control to please me. Perfection.
"Ve-ge-ta..." his voice is low and strained and his one hand comes around to gently rub my tail spot. I think I scream his name, but I can't be sure. I'm sure I'm spasming around his cock, tightening more and more with each passing moment. He bites his lip before managing to warn me, "Vegeta! I'm going to come!" Oh yes, you great big heroic fool. Look at you. Look what I've made you into. Come for me, Kakarot.
Echoing my thoughts, I rasp out, "Come for me, Kakarot." He moans, shaking his head. I flex every muscle I can, pulling him in and gripping him so tightly that my own moans turn to ragged grunts as it emphasizes just how thick he is. I manage to shout, "Come for me!"
"Unnh! Oh!... Vegeeetaaah...! Ah! AH! VEGE---!!!" he couldn't even finish my name when he climaxes and I gasp sharply as I feel him pulsing powerfully inside me - the sensation so unprecedently pleasurable I can't help but shake all over, a shiver richocheting up my spine before lancing down straight to my cock and making it somehow harden even more to the point where it nearly hurts. Thoughtful lover that he is, Kakarot places one hand on my abdomen and the other over my tail spot, sending a wave of ki as his hair flickers back from gold to ebony. The energy feels like it sets my very soul on fire, burning it with inconceivable lust. Oh god, yes! It has to be a miracle! I haven't gotten off properly since I knocked up Bulma! I feel the beginning of it... Mr. Orgasm is knocking at my door and I rush to answer with wide open arms.
"F-F-Fuuuuuuuuuh...! uuuuhAHHH!!!" I can't finish my curse as I come harder than I ever have in my life, coating Kakarot's stomach, chest, face, and hair. I don't even need to touch my cock to keep my orgasm going, I just concentrate on the feeling of Kakarot inside me and that does the trick. I nearly pass out when the bliss finally subsides, but I manage to only collapse on top of him with my whole body singing his praise.
"Unn.." I moan, unable to move. God, that was so insanely awesome. I'm sure to have wet dreams about this til I die.
"Mmn.." Kakarot agrees, licking a stray splash of cum from the corner of his mouth. My pride resurrects when I observe the extent of damage done in terms of amount and distance. Best I've ever done. Good thing he didn't finish that blowjob, I probably would've drowned him.
I feel Mr. Nap sneaking up on me, and as Kakarot gently pets me that doesn't help. We're both purring from complete and utter satiation on a level we've never experienced before.
Then Kakarot's head snaps to the side and he laughs nervously, "Oh, hi Buu! I guess we kinda forgot about you."
Buu just watched Kakarot screw my brains out. How I wish I'd die. Again.
"You splooged in my head," Buu complains.
"Uh, yeah, sorry about that," Kakarot gives another nervous laugh as he blushes and does the whole rub the back of his head in awkward situations thing. It's in this moment that I realize he still hasn't pulled out.
With shaking arms, I manage to move into a sitting position so I can disconnect our bodies. "Don't apologize, you'll only make it worse," I chastise, but it holds no heat. I'm too worn out for it. Trembling, I manage the arduous task of moving off of my third-class idiot. My eyes widen as this forces a remembrance, "You came inside me!"
"Was I not supposed to?" he asks, genuinely befuddled.
"WELL, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE IF YOU HAD ASKED," I snarl, "And you wonder why I hate you!"
"How can you hate him?" Buu asks me, "I thought only people in love...you know...did that..."
Kakarot giggles and gloms me, "Vegeta's just being silly! Sure you love me, don't you, Vegeta?" Damn him for being so cute and innocent! "You do love me, don't you?" he gives me puppy dog eyes. Not that look...! Anything but that look!
"Sure, Kakarot."
"Wow, that's amazing," Buu says, stunned, "You were about to die, but instead you made love. How interesting."
"That's right," Kakarot quips, "Our love is so strong that not even death can separate us. That's how strong love is!"
"Really? Maybe I was wrong about the whole genocide thing after all."
"Come on home with us, Buu, and I'll make you a cake!" Kakarot offers. Or bribes. I don't know which and I don't care. I loathe to see the day when Kakarot bakes. We go on our merry way, taking Piccolo, Gohan, Goten, and Trunks with us. Yay, essentially our fucking saved the universe. Please, never let this get marked down in the history books.
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Isn't Life Grand?