Satisfaction | By : KissMeDeadlyT-T Category: Fullmetal Alchemist > Yaoi - Male/Male > Roy/Ed Views: 1540 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist, nor do I make any money from any fanfictions that I write. All rights reserved to original owners. |
-I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist or any of the characters used in this fanfiction. I make no profit from writing this and do it simply because I enjoy it.
Summary: It was blatantly obvious to Roy what it was that Ed needed; he just didn't quite understand why it was that his body and emotions got all in a tiffy when Ed admitted that it was Roy that he wanted it from. -Yaoi, EdRoy, smut, language.
Warning: This fanfic contains sexual content (in the second and final chapter) between two men. If you don't like that kinda thing, or if you''re against Roy Mustang and Edward Elric getting it on, press back and don't read this, for heaven's sake.
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Fullmetal had been acting strange lately. He’d only started really noticing it a couple of days ago, but thinking back on the last few weeks—months, even— Roy realized that the teen’s behaviour had slowly changed from snarky and short-tempered to quiet and brief. The troubled look that was always present in gold eyes gradually worsened until it was as if his eyes had permanently darkened to a murky, brooding ochre. The flame in them was snubbed, and that was what bothered Roy the most. He'd believed Edward to be an undying flame-- a fire that could never be put out.
He looked tired. God, he looked exhausted. His skin was paler than normal and his hair even lacked its usual luster and hung limply around his slack face. Even his posture, underneath that horrendous red coat and those ridiculously tight leather pants, was limp, fatigued; completely exhausted.
Roy watched through his eyelashes so as not to give Edward any clue that he was being observed. He pretended to skim the report he’d just had tossed at him not five minutes ago, but didn’t let his sight off of Ed for too long. He was worried; he’d admit it. He didn’t like to let his emotions do what they wanted whenever Edward was involved, but sometimes he really couldn’t help it. It made him uncannily distressed knowing that something was eating at Fullmetal.
He cleared his throat. Ed’s wary gaze lifted from his scruffy leather boots to meet Roy’s concerned black eyes, and a small flush dusted across his cheeks; he clearly wasn’t used to seeing anything other than frustration and irritation and the occasional sarcastic amusement in his superior’s gaze. His eyes dropped, again, and Roy let out a sigh.
“Edward,” he said, using his first name for the sole reason that it made the situation less stiff; less formal. Ed tentatively glanced up again, managing to keep eye contact this time.
“Mhm?” he asked distractedly, picking at the sleeve of his coat, sucking his bottom lip in between his teeth. The sight aroused a fluttery feeling in Roy’s chest— Edward looked so vulnerable, so anxious, that it was almost sweet. It was still weird, though. He wanted the snappy, rude Edward back.
“There’s something bugging you, isn’t there?” Roy asked. After a moment, he added, “I mean besides the usual.”
Ed reddened again. “Why do you care?” he said gruffly, looking to the side, a tell-tale sign that Roy wasn’t imagining things; there really was something bothering him.
Roy furrowed his brow. “I can’t imagine why you’d think I wouldn’t care, Edward. Unless you forgot that I took you under my wing and have helped you ever since you joined the military.” He put his pen and the unread report down before walking over and sitting on the couch opposite Ed, crossing his arms and regarding him with raised eyebrows and pursed lips. Edward's neck was tense, his shoulders drawn up to his ears. “So,” Roy said, taking in each and every sign of the boy’s distress and storing it in his mind, like a mental Edward Elric dictionary, “tell me. What’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing, really,” Ed muttered, fiddling with a screw on his metal hand. “I haven’t slept well recently.”
“Really?” Roy quirked an eyebrow. “I’m not buying it.”
“It’s true!” Ed said defensively. “It’s been like two hours a night! I’m tired, and that’s all. Sheesh.”
Roy had to hide a smile— at least Ed still had it in him to be rude, even a little. “That’s definitely not all. You know you’re as easy to read as an open book, don’t you?”
Ed said nothing, scowling at him, so Roy sighed and said, “I’m not going to force you. I’m just worried.” Then, to take the edge off of the confession, he added, “Plus, it’s affecting your performance, and that makes me look bad. So I’d really appreciate it if you’d tell me so I could help you figure it out.”
He heard Ed let out a sarcastic, short laugh at that, and had to raise an eyebrow; what was that about? “Help me figure it out,” Ed grumbled. “It’s your fuckin’ fault, anyway.”
Roy raised an eyebrow. “My fault?”
Ed’s leg bounced nervously. He chewed at his bottom lip, not meeting Roy’s searching gaze in favour of staring very hard at the floor. He said nothing— a dark flush and nervous swallow were the only responses Roy received, and it slowly started dawning on him what this might be. Ed had that look; it was one he knew well. His sexcapades weren’t exactly lies, even though he wasn’t necessarily proud of them, and a lot of his reputation was made up of rumours and blown-up stories, mostly courtesy of his team members Breda and Havos, he was no stranger to a person hungry for human touch. And that was what Edward looked like. Except he didn’t look hungry. He looked absolutely starved.
“Is that why you haven’t been sleeping?” he asked abruptly. Ed stared at him, obviously confused, so Roy elaborated, “You’re sexually frustrated, right? Is that why you’re so tired? It’s been messing up your sleeping pattern, hasn’t it?”
Yep, that must have been it; Ed’s face changed from light pink to beet red to a furious crimson within the span of two seconds, and he immediately started sputtering protests; protests that sounded so fake and pathetic that Roy had to laugh.
“Don’t laugh, you asshole!” Ed growled, looking livid enough to slug him across the face. “It’s not funny.”
“Sorry, sorry,” Roy replied, quickly biting down another laugh. “Well, don’t you have a thing with that Winry girl? Why don’t you… visit her?”
Ed’s glare was so nasty that Roy could practically feel venom. “Winry,” he said darkly, “is like a sister. Would you fuck your sister? No, I didn’t think so. Unless you’re even sicker than I thought.”
“I see your point,” Roy said, graciously ignoring the jab.
“Fuck,” Ed muttered, “I don’t want to fucking talk about this to you. Not when you—” He stopped short, face flaring red again, and glared at the floor.
“Me again?” Roy said in wonder. “What is it about me that’s got you so sexually frustrated?”
“It’s not about you,” Ed growled. “It is you.”
And then Roy didn’t quite know what to say. Eventually, he managed a small, “Oh.” It seemed that was a mistake, because Ed suddenly stood up and began storming to the door. “Wait,” Roy said, getting to his feet and snagging Ed’s wrist just before he got out of reach. “Wait,” he said again, softer this time. “Sit back down. It’s okay.”
Ed did as he was told, which honestly surprised Roy quite a bit. He’d expected Ed to screech at him and flee the room, but instead, he simply sat back on the couch quietly, staring at the floor with wet eyes and red cheeks. “So,” Roy said hesitantly, “when you say it is me…”
“I mean I want you to touch me. I don’t fucking want Winry or some random girl, or guy for that matter, because I want you.” Ed face blazed, and he refused eye contact again, and Roy could see it in him; he expected rejection. But Roy wasn’t entirely sure rejection was in order.
If it was anyone else… anyone but Edward, Roy probably would have backed away and declared his straightness for the world to hear. But… there was something about Edward, something that had always sparked emotion—whether it be bad or good— in Roy, and that was something that not a lot of people could do. Because it was Ed, he didn’t look away or leave the room. Because it was Ed, he actually let the idea run through his mind. Sure, it was illegal— hell, it was so many different kinds of illegal that Roy’s inner perfectionist cringed and pleaded for him to stop debating it— but aside from the fact that it was morally wrong in almost every way, he couldn’t see why not. He’d never really given being with a man a second thought; women were what came naturally, and that was what he was used to, but… the thought didn’t repulse him. It didn’t exactly rev his engine, either. But this?
With Edward?
That… it was different.
And if it’d get him out of this funk he’d been in for the past few months?
…It couldn’t hurt, could it? As long as no one found out?
He shouldn’t allow this. It was sinful, really. So wrong…
His eyes trailed down Edward’s tense body; he thought of running his fingers through the length of his blond hair, thought of watching those stony eyes melt and turn to molten gold, thought of seeing heat flare in the gaze that was still stubbornly glaring at the floor. Thought of being the first to touch him, the first to make him feel that kind of pleasure, the first to see him in such a vulnerable, flustered state, and okay, his engine was definitely going now. His uniform suddenly felt all too stifling. He tugged at the collar, shut his eyes for a minute, prayed to gods he didn’t really believe in that he didn’t get an assload of karma for how goddamn wrong this was but how right it felt and that he was going to do it even though he knew he really shouldn’t, and finally opened his eyes again.
“Okay.”
Ed stared up at him, his eyes like saucers. “What?” he said, his voice weak.
“Okay,” Roy repeated. “If that’s what you want, then fine.” His gaze fell to Ed’s throat and he saw his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed, and he wanted to lick and bite and suck at it until Ed was moaning his pleasure underneath him, and god, what was wrong with him?
“You’re not… you know… this isn’t a joke, right?” Ed asked uncertainly, squirming under the scrutiny of Roy’s heavy gaze. He licked his lips nervously. “Right?” he repeated.
“No,” Roy said, feeling the last of his shredded resistance fall away. “It’s not a joke. Is that really what you want?”
Ed nodded, his cheeks colouring excitedly. “Yeah,” he breathed. “I just— I can’t believe you didn’t… kick me out of here in disgust. I mean… we’re both men,” he said in a tiny voice. “And I’m just a kid.”
“Please spare me the sanctimonious speech of why we can’t,” Roy interrupted warily. He was getting enough of that from the more sane part of his mind, but it was slowly and surely getting drowned out by the excited, frenzied murmurs of the fuck morals part. “As for the kid part, you haven’t been a kid for a long time,” he said, letting the words fall heavy and lowering his eyelids near the end, just to see Ed’s reaction. The boy turned beet red, gulped, and stuttered out something between “Oh” and “Fuck.”
“B-but,” he added nervously, “I thought— you… you like women, right?”
“I do,” Roy affirmed.
“So… why?”
Roy didn’t know why. Hell, he didn’t want to know why. Before he could say anything, Ed tentatively added, “Is this… you know… I don’t expect it to mean anything to you—”
“Don’t say that,” Roy snapped before he could stop himself. Ed looked stunned. Sighing, Roy brought a hand up and pinched the bridge of his nose. This was not supposed to happen. “Sorry,” he muttered. “What were you saying?”
“Nothing,” Ed said quietly, a small smile playing on his lips. “Forget it.”
“Fine.” It was silent for a moment; not entirely awkward, but with a strange tension between them. Roy found himself more than once staring at Ed’s face, noticing little things, like how his jaw was less rounded, less babyish, how he’d matured a lot over the past year, how his bangs were longer but just as untamed as ever… until he finally realized that it had to have been at least ten minutes of them simply staring in silence at each other, and he cleared his throat again. “Do you know where my house is?”
Ed’s eyes lit up. “I think— uh, yeah. I do.”
“Great.” Roy stood up, wanting nothing more than to leave this strange tension, because it was making his heart to weird thing in his chest and he didn’t quite know how to react to that. He wondered just when it was that Ed had started provoking this weird feeling in him, because he’d never really paid much attention to it until now, but he was really hoping it was just the weird atmosphere right now because dealing with feelings for someone half his age, someone who wasn’t even legal, someone who was as fragile and broken as Edward— it wasn’t going to be easy. Actually, it was going to be hell. He wondered for a moment if this was a mistake, but for some stupid reason, he kicked the voice screaming at him that he had to stop clean out of his head and said, “I’m off at seven. Meet me there.”
And then he turned his back to Ed and walked back to his desk, and didn’t look at him again; because he could practically feel the heat of Ed’s grin, and he knew that if he looked, the last of his crumbling self-restraint and firm hold on the concept of No I do not have feelings for Edward Elric would dissolve into ash and fly away in an imaginary wind. Because he already knew how damn screwed he was— but that didn’t mean he wanted to admit it to himself. Not yet.
“Okay,” was Ed’s simple answer, but the nervous anticipation was as clear in his voice as the torturous denial was in Roy’s mind. “I’ll be there.”
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I will upload the next chapter in a day or two.
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