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One Year	By : YojiKato Category: Gundam Wing/AC > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 612 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing nor any of its characters. I only own the original characters. And nobody's paying me to write this.

Chapter List
- 1-One Year
- 1
One year. It sounds like a long time. Three hundred and sixty five days pass, seasons change, one school year ends and another begins. If you're waiting for a happy event one year can seem like a life time. But when it isn't so happy an event... one year just isn't enough.
There was so much stuff I wanted to do with my life. I've been to exotic places, but never just for the fun of it. I never took time out to go to Disney World or any amusement park. I never had the chance to be a child.
I never had a lover, not that I was without candidates. One in particular. Not that he ever made a move. We were both aware of the other's interest, and we were content to let things progress slowly. But I guess it doesn't matter now. I have lived the life of a soldier for far too long. I have focused on all those around me, never taking the time out to really find out what I want to do.
So it may be selfish, but I'm going to take what's left of my life and truly experience what it means to be alive. I want lazy walks on the beach. I want to watch the sun rise over the ocean. Make angels in the snow. Dance in the rain. Be surrounded by those who give my life any sense of meaning.
I'm going to cram a lifetime's worth of memories into one year.
******
Heero glanced to the other desk in the office and frowned as he saw his partner staring out the window again. “What's wrong with you today?”
He jumped at the sudden break in the silence and looked to Heero. “Sorry, I've just got a lot on my mind.”
He nodded slowly. “I noticed. What's going on?”
He shook his head. “It's nothing.”
Heero eyed him critically but was prevented from saying anything when his phone rang. “Yuy.” He listened for a moment. “All right.” He stood. “Une wants to see us.”
He sighed and pushed from his desk. “A mission?”
Heero nodded. “She didn't say what, though.”
He followed Heero into the elevator and leaned his back to the wall, folding his arms over his chest and closing his eyes. The Japanese man gazed at him silently. Something was off with him. It had been for several weeks.
“Are you going to tell me what's bothering you?”
He looked to Heero. “Sooner or later, I guess.” The doors opened and he made his way to Une's office, a tad guilty for not being honest with his partner.
Une looked up as they came in. “Have a seat gentlemen.” She looked down at a folder and tapped her fingertips on her desk. “We have reason to believe that there is a terrorist building in numbers in L1.” She slid a photograph across the desk of a grotesquely obese man appearing to be in his mid to late fifties.
“We believe he is the leader.”
Heero looked from the photo back to her. “How do we get in?”
Her eyes moved to his partner. “He has an affinity for blonds.”
He pursed his lips and Heero shook his head. “Quatre didn't sign up for undercover ops like that.”
“He doesn't have to sleep with him. Just... get cozy.”
Blue eyes fell to the picture in disgust and he stood. “I won't do it.”
“This is an order.”
He looked to her. “I quit Winner Enterprises because I thought I had something to offer Preventers, not to be used like this. I'm about the worst actor on the planet.” His nose wrinkled as he looked to the picture. “There's no way I could even pretend to be interested in that man.”
“It's your job.”
He licked his lips. “You're right.” He raised his eyes to hers. “But it isn't my life. I quit.” He turned on his heel and Heero sent Une a scathing look before following after his partner.
Quatre left the building and Heero frowned as the blond laid his arm on the top of his car and pressed his face to it, shoulders shaking.
“Quatre? Are you all right?”
He raised his head and Heero frowned as he realized the blond was laughing. He raked his hand through his hair. “I was looking for a good excuse to quit anyway.”
“What are you going to do now?”
He braced his forehead on his palm and closed his eyes. “I need a vacation,” he said softly. “It seems like I've done nothing but work since the day I was born.”
Heero nodded. “I hear you.”
He chewed his lip. “Heero, do you think the six of us could take a trip together this summer?”
Heero nodded slowly. “I don't see why not. We've all got vacation time we haven't used.”
He looked to the Japanese Preventer from under his palm. “I'm sorry I quit on you. I just have a lot of stuff going on right now.”
“Why won't you tell me what it is?”
He shook his head. “I will... when I'm ready. I'm sorry.” He opened the car door. “You better get back to work.”
“Do you want me to clear your desk out?”
“If you don't mind, I'd appreciate that.”
“I'll come over when I get off of work.”
Quatre nodded and gave him a weak smile before leaving. Heero returned to his office and found Wufei and Duo waiting inside.
“Did Quatre really quit?” the braided man asked.
He sat heavily. “Yeah. Une wanted him to take a mission and he refused. I can't say I blame him, I wasn't liking the idea, either.”
Duo shook his head. “Why quit, though? Did she order him to do it?”
“Yes, but he told me in the parking lot that he'd been looking for an excuse to quit. There's something going on with him. Haven't you guys noticed?”
Wufei shook his head. “I haven't seen much of him lately.”
Duo grunted. “I have and Heero's right. Quatre's hasn't been himself.”
Heero stared down at his desk for a moment. “He wants all of us to take a vacation together this summer. Will you go?”
They exchanged glances and Wufei answered. “We were planning to go to Italy, but if there's something wrong we can put it off. How serious do you think this is?”
“I haven't seen him really smile in at least a month. He hasn't been able to concentrate and he's called out quite a few times. He's... depressed, I think.”
Wufei frowned. “That does sound serious.”
He nodded. “It has me worried.”
Duo squeezed his shoulder. “If there's anything you need, just let us know.”
“I will.” After they left Heero grabbed the phone and dialed Trowa's extension. He huffed when he didn't get an answer and called Zechs' number. After several rings, the blond answered.
“Merquise.”
He frowned. “You sound a little winded.”
“I was just... working out.”
“Call me back when you're finished.”
Zechs hung up and looked to Trowa. Emerald eyes looked up to him, a cinnamon brow quirking. “Heero.”
Trowa hummed softly and Zechs' eyes fluttered. Full lips turned up at the corners and he pulled them from the blond's length, replacing it with his hand. “Was it important?”
“Don't know. He said to call back when I was finished.”
“I see.” Trowa stood and straddled the blond's lap, bracing his hands on the back of the chair to steady himself while Zechs quickly covered his erection with lube. He lowered slowly, Zechs' gripping his hips tightly.
“You know,” Zechs began with a hiss as he slowly filled the tight passage, “sooner or later someone's going to catch us.”
He stopped as he was fully seated and gazed down into pale blue eyes. “They haven't yet.”
“Why don't we just come out already? Nobody cares.”
He raised up slightly and dropped back down. “Because, there was a huge uproar when Duo and Wufei came out. I'm not interested in being even more a part of office gossip than I already am.”
Zechs sighed softly as the younger man began riding him. It had been a strange development that transpired between the two. When they had been assigned as partners, Zechs was seeing Noin and Trowa was pretty much asexual. After a year, it was painfully obvious that Zechs and Noin were not as compatible as it originally seemed and she ended it before a mere lack of passion turned into bitter arguing.
The thing between them had started as little more than stress relief for Zechs and experimentation for Trowa. But it had evolved over the next two years into something much deeper. Trowa leaned down and laid a kiss to Zechs' lips before picking up the pace, driving himself down on the hard length in pounding thrusts.
Zechs hissed through his teeth as Trowa rode him, lips pressed firmly together to mute the gasps and moans as he was impaled again and again. He moved one hand from the back of the chair to wrap around his own weeping erection and tugged hard at it.
Zechs hooked his hands under Trowa's thighs and stood unexpectedly. Trowa's jaw dropped and he quickly wrapped his arms around the taller man's neck. “What are you doing?”
He laid Trowa on his back on his desk and pulled his legs over his shoulders before slamming back in to the hilt. Trowa's head fell back and he couldn't stop the sharp cry that escaped him. He gripped the edge of the desk and held on tightly as Zechs took him forcefully.
Gasping breaths left him on whimpers as his lover hit his prostate mercilessly, driving him closer and closer to the edge. He wanted to touch himself but was afraid to let go of his hold on the desk.
“Zechs... please... touch me.”
He shook his head. “Not yet.” He snapped his hips, watching Trowa's face as pleasure soared through his body. The younger man was beautiful no matter how he looked, but when he was lost in passion there wasn't a word strong enough to describe him.
Zechs' back arched slightly as his orgasm hit him and he clenched his hands tighter on Trowa's thighs, filling him with his release. He pulled out and dropped to his knees, swallowing Trowa whole.
“Shit!”
The wood creaked when his fingers tightened as Zechs pressed two fingers into him massaging his sweet spot until he came with a strangled moan. He swallowed his lover's release and stood, a smile coming to his lips as he watched Trowa gasp for breath. Emerald eyes slit open and looked up to the blond.
“What are you staring at?”
He shook his head and pulled wipes out of the desk. “Just thinking how lucky I am.”
Trowa sat up slowly and took the offered wipes to clean himself off while Zechs returned Heero's call. “Hey, sorry about earlier. What did you need?”
Trowa picked up his discarded clothes and looked to Zechs as the blond frowned. “He quit? Just like that?” Trowa pulled his shirt over his head and met Zechs' gaze. “Quatre quit.”
Trowa started. “What? Why?”
“Trowa,” Zechs said into the phone. “Yeah... he was... spotting for me. Anyway, why did he quit?” Pale blue eyes widened. “She did what?”
Trowa sat down, curiosity growing. Zechs held up his finger, motioning that he would give him the details in a minute. “No, that's fine. Just let us know when you want to do it. All right.” He hung up and looked to Trowa. “Une wanted to send Quatre on an undercover mission that had him playing lamb to some ogre so he quit. Heero said there was something more going on, though.”
“Does he know what?”
He shook his head. “No, but Quatre wants all of us to take a vacation together.” He leaned his hip to the desk. “And he sounded kind of skeptical about me working out. I'm pretty sure he'll put two and two together.”
Trowa sighed. “We'll worry about that later.”
******
Quatre opened the door and let Heero into his apartment. He set the box holding the blond's personal things on the coffee table and turned to look at him as he sat in the recliner. “Quatre-”
“Not yet.” He closed his eyes. “Please, Heero.”
He nodded slowly and sat on the love seat. “Have you thought about where you want to go?”
He opened his eyes and that was when Heero noticed exactly how tired the blond looked. “I have a condo on the beach in Pensacola. I'd like to go there for a few weeks. Did you talk to the guys?”
“Yeah. They all agreed to go.”
He smiled softly. “Thank you.”
He gazed at the blond silently long enough for him to grow uncomfortable. “What?”
“I'm worried about you.”
Blond brows drew together and he looked away. “There's no reason to worry.”
“How can I know that if you don't tell me what's going on?”
“I will. I promise.” He looked back to Heero. “Just give me some time. Okay?”
He sighed. “All right.”
******
Quatre set his brush down and moved slowly out of the bathroom. He'd done way too much that day and was worn out, but he was supposed to have met the guys at a restaurant almost forty-five minutes ago. He'd heard his phone ringing, but he had accidentally left it on the love seat while he was in the shower.
He took slow, even breaths as he gazed at the love seat no more than eight feet away. He braced his hand to the wall, taking shuffling steps toward it. The world tilted and he slid to the floor as his vision went fuzzy.
He never knew how long the spells lasted, but it always felt like hours passed before his vision would return. When it did, he put his trembling hands to the floor and crawled to the love seat. He turned and leaned his back to it, dropping his head back on the cushions as he fought to catch his breath.
His cell rang again and it took him forever to answer as his fingers were shaking so bad he had trouble hitting the call button. “Hello?”
“Hey, where are you?”
He took a breath. “Home. What's up?” He tried to make his voice sound normal, but it wasn't anywhere close.
“What's wrong?”
“I was...” He shook his head. “I'm fine.”
“You were supposed to meet us an hour ago.”
He grimaced. “I know. I got... caught up in some stuff earlier and got home late.”
“Why didn't you call?”
“I was... about to leave.”
“I'm outside your door. Will you let me in?”
Just the thought of getting up exhausted him. “I can't.”
He heard a soft curse and keys being pulled out. He forgot he'd given Trowa a spare. The door opened and Trowa stepped in, flipping his phone closed. His eyes widened when he saw the blond on the floor. “What happened?”
Quatre looked up to him. “Got dizzy. Can you help me up?”
He took Quatre's forearms and helped him up to sit on the love seat. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes, gasping softly. Trowa stared down at him, a sinking feeling landing in the pit of his stomach.
“What's wrong with you?”
He shook his head. “It's nothing.”
“Bullshit.” He went to the kitchen to get a bottle of water and paused when he saw the mass of pill bottles on the counter. He lifted several to read the labels and closed his eyes briefly before returning to the living room.
Quatre took the water. “Thank you.”
“How long have you been sick?”
He looked up. “What?”
Trowa held up a pill bottle. “I know what this is for, Quatre.”
His brows drew together. “Trowa-”
“Why didn't you tell anyone?”
He shrugged. “At first it didn't really effect me too bad, but... I took a turn.”
“How bad?”
He swallowed and shook his head. Trowa studied him a moment. “When were you planning to tell us?”
“I don't know.” He raked a hand through his hair. “I'm not ready for everyone to know yet. Please don't say anything.”
“I won't.” He reached down and put a hand to the blond's shoulder. “But you should tell them soon.”
“After the vacation.”
“We're not leaving for two weeks and we'll be gone for a month. It's up to you, but I don't think you should wait that long.”
Quatre chewed his lip. “Everything will change once they know.”
“You can't face something like this alone, Quatre. It's not fair to you or your friends. And what about Heero?”
He shook his head. “Nothing can happen there now, Trowa. I don't want to do that to him.”
“Do what? You guys have been playing it safe long enough. You both care about each other, why not go ahead and make it official?”
He looked away. “I won't. I can't, Trowa.” He closed his eyes. “I just can't.”
******
Duo whistled under his breath as they pulled up to the condo. “Dang, Quatre. Why didn't you tell us you had this place before?”
He parked the SUV and stared up at the building. “I haven't thought of much outside of work. I kind of forgot about it for a while.”
The braided man shook his head. “I can't imagine forgetting you own something like this.”
Quatre shrugged and climbed out of the car. He moved around to the back where Heero and Trowa were already getting out bags. He stood back with a frown as the other five grabbed their bags and his, leaving him with nothing to do.
“I can get something.”
Heero looked to him. “You're here to relax, remember?”
He pursed his lips. “We all are.”
“Yeah, but you seem to need this more than we do.”
He bit his lip as they all stared at him, knowing they wanted him to finally tell them what was going on. “I...” He shook his head and turned to go unlock the door. “Pick whichever rooms you want.”
“Which room do you want?”
Quatre led him further down the hall and pushed into the master bedroom. He'd had staff come and freshen the place up considering it hadn't been used in years. Bright sunlight poured through the windows and the soft color theme of the room worked to somewhat soothe his anxious disposition. He moved to the window and gazed out over the ocean lapping gently at the shore.
Heero set his bags on the bed and looked to Quatre. “What did you want to do?”
The blond glanced to him. “I think I'm going to lie down for a while. The kitchen is stocked, so you guys feel free to raid it.”
Heero nodded and left the room, closing the door behind himself. Quatre moved to it and locked it before digging through his bag. He pulled out several pill bottles, frowning when he realized one was missing. He searched frantically through his things to find it.
Heero went to the kitchen and found Duo with his head in the fridge while Wufei was washing his hands. The Chinese man looked over his shoulder.
“Where's Quatre?”
“Laying down. He said for us to go ahead and get something to eat.” He quirked an eyebrow. “But I guess you didn't need to go ahead.”
He snorted and grabbed a hand towel. “You know Duo.”
Duo set ingredients on the counter to make sandwiches. “You said you were hungry, too.”
Heero sat at the table, mind drifting to Quatre. They had been partners for over two and a half years. The blond had seemed to enjoy working at Preventers. He put everything he had into the job. Heero had thought he was just burning out, but he wasn't so sure that was the case anymore. He looked up to Wufei as a plate was set in front of him.
“He doesn't look very good.”
Heero shook his head. “No, he doesn't.”
“He said he was stressed,” Duo said out as he sat at the table. “That can cause all sorts of physical problems. Trust me,” he looked pointed to his lover, “I know.”
Wufei flushed slightly. “I had some... anxiety issues a while back.”
Duo snorted. “Try depression.”
He pursed his lips as he looked to Duo. “Fine. I was depressed.” He dropped his eyes to his sandwich. “Anyway, they put me on medication and I'm fine now.”
Heero shook his head. “How is it we didn't know about this?”
“It was right after the war when we went our separate ways. I stayed in that funk until Duo joined.” He raised his eyes to Heero. “It was getting so bad Une threatened to pull me off the field. Sally had been trying to get me to take the pills but I didn't like the idea. Duo finally got it through my head that it wasn't a weakness to take medicine if you're sick.” He shrugged. “So I started taking them.”
Duo smiled softly. “And you've done great ever since.”
Wufei returned the smile with a small one of his own. “What Duo says is right, stress and anxiety can have physical repercussions. Has he talked to a counselor?”
“I don't know.”
“I'm not depressed.”
They turned at the soft declaration and Quatre moved into the room. “I thought you were taking a nap.”
“Couldn't sleep.” He sat next to Heero and stole a chip from his plate. “Guys, we're here to have fun, not discuss what may or may not be wrong with me. I'll tell you guys when I'm ready. Okay?”
They nodded and he smiled. “Thanks.”
“So, what's on the agenda for today?” Duo asked.
“I need to run out real quick.”
“Want some company?” Heero offered.
“No. I won't be gone long.”
Heero studied him for a moment. “If you're sure.”
He smiled. “I am. Does anyone need anything?”
Duo nodded. “Can you pick me up a brush? I forgot mine and I can't use Wufei's.”
“Why not?” Heero asked.
“Because his hair is a lot thicker and coarser than mine. My brush can't get the knots out.”
“Oh.”
Quatre stood. “Anything else?”
They shook their heads and he pulled out his keys. “All right. I'll be back.” He left the house, thankful they didn't ask any more questions. He parked outside of Walgreens and ducked inside. Shivering as the cold air conditioning hit him. He grabbed a brush and moved to the back of the store. The tech behind the counter smiled.
“How can I help you?”
“I'm on vacation and I left one of my prescriptions at home by mistake. I was wondering if I could get a refill.”
She turned to her computer. “What's your name?”
“Quatre Winner.”
Wide eyes shot to him. “The Quatre Winner?”
He nodded. “Yes, ma'am.”
“Oh my, it's a pleasure to meet you.” Her smile dimmed as she read the list of medications he was on. “Which one did you leave?” she asked quietly.
“Propranolol.”
She nodded. “Let me call your insurance provider to get the okay.”
“Thank you.” He moved to the side as she made the call and glanced around at the people waiting for prescriptions to be filled. He tried to shake off the morose feeling that had fallen over him when her voice changed to that 'I'm sorry you're dying' tone. That was precisely why he didn't want to tell the others. He wanted some level of normalcy before the disease crippled him.
He returned to the house and paused in the living room as Duo and Wufei were gaping at Trowa and Zechs. “What'd I miss?”
Duo turned. “Did you know they were together?” He pointed at the pair.
He shrugged. “Yeah.”
Trowa raised an eyebrow. “How did you know?”
He tossed the brush to Duo. “I thought it was obvious.”
Heero snorted a laugh. “So what exactly were you 'spotting' that day I called Zechs, Trowa?”
He cleared his throat. “I think this discussion has gone about as far as it should.”
Duo laughed. “Come on, man, spill all the nasty details.”
“I don't ask about your sex life, do I?”
He shrugged. “You could if you wanted to. What would you like to know?”
Wufei rolled his eyes. “You say one word about our sex life and you're sleeping on the couch tonight.”
Duo pouted. “You wouldn't do that to me, would you?”
“Try me.”
He sighed overly dramatically. “See what I have to put up with.”
Quatre shook his head with a small smile. “Excuse me for a moment.” He went back to his bedroom, and shut and locked the door before pulling out the necessary pills, downing them quickly with lukewarm water left in a bottle in his suitcase. He pulled all the pillows into a mound and laid down, halfway sitting up. He couldn't breathe if he laid flat on his back.
He didn't realize he'd fallen asleep until he was awakened several hours later by a banging on the door and Heero threatening to break it down if he didn't answer.
“Hold up!” He slid from the bed, feeling just as tired as he had been when he laid down. He unlocked the door and looked at the five men standing on the other side with worried expressions on their faces. “What?”
“You said you'd be gone for a moment, it's been almost four hours.”
He rested his cheek against the door. “I'm sorry. I only meant to lay down for a minute.”
“We were thinking about going out to eat.”
“All right. Let get my wallet.” He turned a little too quickly and reached for something to catch his fall when dizziness washed over him. Strong arms wrapped around him and sat him on the floor in a protective embrace. He pressed a fist to his chest as pain sliced through it and whimpered softly.
“Quatre?”
He shook his head. “It's all right. I'm all right.”
Heero ground his teeth. “Stop lying to me. I thought... I thought we were closer than that. I thought you could tell me anything. I thought we had something.”
He licked his lips and turned to meet Heero's eyes. “We... we can't, Heero.”
“Did you change your mind?” he asked softly. “We're moving in that direction, aren't we?”
“We were.”
“Were?”
He closed his eyes. “Let me go.”
“Is that really what you want?”
When cerulean eyes opened again, they shone with tears. “No, but-” He was cut off as lips pressed to his own. He sobbed softly as Heero deepened the kiss and wrapped his arms around his waist. Kissing Heero was everything he'd dreamed it would be.
He pulled from the kiss and clung to Heero as the sobs he'd held at bay since his diagnosis slid down his face. He pressed his forehead to Heero's shoulder as the Japanese man ran his hands soothingly down his back.
“What is it?”
“I... I'm dying, Heero.”
Heero could hardly breathe. “What?”
“My heart is failing.”
“Can't they do a transplant or something?”
“I'm on a list, but it's not likely I'll last long enough.”
“Can't they move you up or something?” Duo asked. “I mean, you're Quatre Winner.”
He raised up and looked to the brunette. “And why does that give me any more reason to live than the people on the list before me? I won't use my status to be bumped up.” He licked his lips. “I'm at peace with this. I just want to enjoy what's left of my life. Okay?”
He looked back to Heero, hating the somewhat overwhelmed expression on his face. “Heero?”
He shook his head slowly and cupped his hand to the blond's face. Quatre leaned his cheek into the touch. “It'll be okay,” the blond said quietly.
“Not if you die.”
“Everyone dies sooner or later.”
Heero used his thumb to wipe away the fresh tears that spilled down Quatre's face. The Japanese man wasn't sure how to process the information he'd been given. He'd thought they had time. They had become much closer. But now...
“How much time?”
He dropped his eyes to the floor and had several false starts before he managed to answer. “At the rate I'm going, the doctors don't believe I have more than a year.”
Duo reached over and gripped Wufei's hand. “In that case, we'll make damn sure it's the best year of your life.”
Quatre looked up to him with a small smile. “That's my plan.”
******
Quatre allowed the lapping waves to wash over his feet as he watched the sun sink low over the horizon. Arms wrapped around his waist and he leaned back into Heero's chest.
“I was thinking.”
“Hm?”
“Let's go to Tampa and spend a few days.”
“Tampa? What's there?”
“Busch Gardens.”
Heero frowned slightly. “Can you ride the roller coasters?”
He shook his head. “No, but Duo would really like it and there are other things there to do, too.”
“If that's what you want, then we'll do it.”
He turned and draped his arms over Heero's shoulders. Smiling softly, he leaned in for a kiss which the Asian happily gave.
“We're about to start, you guys coming?”
Heero ended the kiss and pulled Quatre inside where the others were seated at the kitchen table, Duo shuffling cards. As soon as Quatre sat, the alarm on his cell went off. He sighed.
“I'll be right back.”
Heero grabbed a beer from the fridge and sat at the table. “Quatre wants to go to Busch Gardens.”
Duo grinned. “Sweet. They have the best rides ever.”
Wufei snorted. “How can a roller coaster be thrilling when you've piloted a Gundam?”
He raised an eyebrow. “You ever ridden one?”
“No, I don't see the point.”
“You'll see it after you've been on one.”
Quatre returned to the kitchen with a palm full of pills. He filled a glass with water and took several at a time until he had swallowed them all. All conversation stopped as they watched him take the pills. He sat back at the table and lifted his cards, shuffling them around and laying two down.
He looked up to Duo for two more cards. The braided man handed them over and gave replacements to the others. Quatre studied his cards. “Nothing has changed,” he said softly. “I've been on the medication for months. Don't look at me differently just because you know about it.”
“It isn't that simple, Quat.”
He looked to Duo and threw two chips in the center of the table. “Two hundred.”
Heero and Zechs instantly folded while Trowa threw his own chips in the pile. Wufei added his own. Duo was still looking at Quatre when it was his turn. He sighed. “Raise by three.”
“I'm out.” Wufei set his cards down.
Quatre threw three more chips in, as did Trowa. Duo pursed his lips. “Call.” He laid down four of a kind.
Trowa grimaced and set a full house on the table.
Quatre smirked and laid down a straight royal flush. He tipped his head to the side. “It is simple. Just be the way you always are with me.” He shook his head. “I'm dying,” he said bluntly, raising a shoulder. “That doesn't change who I am.”
Duo closed his eyes. “I know that. It's just...”
The blond nodded. “I know. We were... invincible. We were the 'saviors' of mankind. They have no clue what we had to give to do what we did. But illness is no respecter of persons. Death is not exclusive; all are susceptible to it.
“Duo, thirty people have to die within months for me to get a new heart. I don't want and I can't see that happening.”
Duo gaped as he looked back to him. “What do you mean, 'don't want'?”
He shook his head. “They're the ones we fought for, Duo. The ones we so desperately tried to save. I can't just knock them off the ladder just because I'm scared.”
“Are you?”
He laughed softly without mirth. “Of course I am. Who wouldn't be? But I'm at peace with my decision.”
Duo shook his head. “Well, I'm not. I want you here for years to come.”
Quatre covered his mouth as emotions took over. “I wish... I wish I could promise you that...but I can't. I can only give you what I have. And that's today.
“I could die tomorrow from a heart attack, a blood clot, or my heart could explode. It could be anything. I have no way of knowing. I might not wake up tomorrow. I might keel over in five minutes. I don't know. So every moment... every second is precious to me. Try to smile. Try to act normal. Because, as selfish as it is, I need that.”
Duo nodded slowly. “It isn't selfish. It's totally understandable.”
Quatre looked to him. “Thank you.”
Quatre gathered up his chips as Duo took back the cards and shuffled them. They played several more hands before Quatre sat back and closed his eyes. “I'm tired.”
He pushed to his feet and Heero stood, wrapping an arm around his waist. “I can make it on my own.”
“I know.”
He gazed at Heero for a moment. “I didn't want to do this to you.”
“It's like you said, all you have is today. I'll take as many todays as you can give me.”
He dropped his chin to his chest and closed his eyes. He allowed Heero to pull him back to the bedroom. Heero sat him on the bed and folded him in his arms, kissing him softly. Quatre clutched his hands in the Japanese man's shirt.
“Heero, please.”
“Are you allowed to?”
He licked his lips. “If we take it slow.”
Heero nodded and kissed Quatre again, running his hands underneath his T-shirt over the smooth expanse of his stomach and chest. He pulled the blond's shirt off and pressed him back against the mound of pillows at the headboard, kissing down his chest.
He slid Quatre's pants down and ran his hands gently over his thighs. “We need lube.”
He shook his head. “I don't have anything.”
Heero leaned down and kissed him. “I'll be right back.” He ducked out of the room and Quatre closed his eyes, wondering if this was a good idea. The doctor had said no exercise. But... he wanted to give this to Heero. He wanted to experience it for himself.
Heero returned and sat on the edge of the bed, trailing his fingertips down the blond's cheek. Cerulean eyes opened and met sapphire. Heero shook his head.
“We shouldn't.”
Quatre bit his lip. “I want to.”
“I know, but it's too risky.”
They gazed silently at each other for a long minute before Heero undressed and gathered the blond into his arms. He leaned his back to the pillows and cradled Quatre to his chest. He closed his eyes and sighed.
He licked his lips. “I don't really want to die a virgin, Heero. And I'm only going to get sicker.” He leaned his head back to meet Heero's eyes. “Please. Just this once.”
Heero trailed his hand down Quatre's cheek to his neck, lowering it down his chest until he reached his semi-hard length. He slid his hand up and down it, slowly working it until it was hard. He kept a careful watch on Quatre's face and his breathing. It deepened some, but he didn't seem to be in any danger.
He shifted Quatre so he was straddling him and grabbed the lube he'd brought. “Try to stay relaxed.”
He nodded and put his hands to Heero's shoulders as a finger teased his opening. Quatre gazed at him through half-lidded eyes as he stretched him.
“You okay?”
He nodded. “It's a little uncomfortable.”
“It'll get better.”
Quatre nodded and focused on keeping his breathing under control as Heero added a second finger and scissored them. They brushed against something that sent a jolt of pleasure through him and he gasped, arching slightly and trying to get the fingers to touch there again. Heero massaged the spot again and he whimpered softly.
“Heero, stop teasing me.”
He chuckled softly and pulled the fingers out to slick his length. He carefully guided Quatre down and the blond bit his lip as the head pressed against his entrance.
“Relax.”
“I'm trying.”
Heero cupped one hand behind Quatre's head and kissed him softly. The blond eagerly parted his lips as Heero's tongue slid over them. He relaxed and slowly slid down until he was fully seated. He broke the kiss and tilted his head back, gasping softly as the length inside him hit his prostate. Heero rubbed his hands soothingly over Quatre's back.
“Are you all right?”
He looked back to Heero. “Yeah.”
Heero lifted Quatre's hips and pulled him back down at a slow pace. The blond took deep breaths, trying to keep his heart rate down as his pleasure grew. Long fingers wrapped around his heavy length and he gasped. He thrust into the palm several times, breathing turning shallow and quick. He started to feel dizzy.
“Heero... st-stop.”
All movement froze as he gasped for breath. Heero tried to pull out but Quatre stopped him. “I'm just... give me a minute.”
He opened his eyes and met Heero's worried gaze. “It's all right.” He moved over Heero, keeping his eyes locked with his lover's. Both took care to take it slowly, rocking against each other with gentle thrusts. Heero began moving his hand over Quatre's length again, this time the blond wasn't so taken by surprise and managed not to rush.
The lazy pace, joined by light touches and soft kisses, served to make the session last the better part of an hour. Sweat slicked down Quatre's forehead as he finally felt the first hint of orgasm. He folded his arms tightly around Heero's neck and rested his chin on his shoulder. Soft puffs of air tickling the Japanese man's ear.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” He released a shaky moan and tangled his hands in Heero's hair as he tipped over the edge.
Heero groaned heavily as the walls tightened around his length and he released inside the blond. Soft whimpers fell on Quatre's every breath and he gripped his shoulders to pull him away enough to see his face. Cerulean eyes slit open and a small smile came to the blond's lips.
“Thank you,” he whispered.
Heero shook his head, chuckling softly. “The pleasure was mine.”
He licked his lips. “I need... to clean up.”
Heero nodded and lifted him from his lap. He turned and laid him against the mound of pillows before he pulled on his pants. He wrapped the sheet around the blond and easily pulled him into his arms, carrying him to the bathroom.
He passed Duo in the hall and the brunette raised an eyebrow. “Should y'all be doin' that?”
Quatre cracked his eyes open. “It's now or never,” he whispered.
******
Quatre quirked an eyebrow as Duo, Wufei, Trowa, and Zechs came away from the ride. Wufei was standing well away from the others, looking a little worse for wear.
Wufei saw a bench and claimed it. He bent forward, rocking slowly as he covered his face with his hands. “I think I'm gonna be sick.”
“I'll get you some water.” Duo said, running to the nearest concession stand.
“Whose idea was it to ride that monstrosity?”
Zechs chuckled. “That would be your boyfriend. It wasn't that bad.”
“For you maybe.”
Quatre squatted next to the bench and took in Wufei's pale face. “Are you really gonna throw up?”
In answer, he bolted up and leaned over the back of the bench, emptying his stomach into the bushes.
“Ew, Mommy, that girl puked!”
“Sara, that's not nice. We don't make fun of someone when they're sick.”
“She shoulda gone to the bathroom.”
Quatre glanced over as he rubbed Wufei's back. “There wasn't exactly time.”
“Sorry.” The mother apologized. “She has a bad habit of saying whatever pops into her head. Is she okay?”
He nodded, fighting the smile that tugged the corner of his lips. “She'll be fine.”
As the mother and daughter walked away, Wufei leaned back slowly and glared at Quatre. “You could've defended my manhood, you know.”
All of them were fighting laughter, but once Quatre cracked, the rest of them followed not soon after. “I know,” he managed between laughs, “but that was hilarious.”
Duo came back and handed a bottle of water to Wufei. “What did I miss?”
“Nothing.” The Asian grumbled before he swished some water in his mouth and spit it back into the bushes. He took several long drinks and sighed.
“Actually, some kid said: 'Mommy, that girl's puking in the bushes'. Quatre didn't bother to correct the misunderstanding. What made it worse was that the mom asked if she was okay. And Quatre said: She'll be fine.”
Duo chortled. “Oh, man, why do I always miss the good stuff?”
He quirked an eyebrow. “Do you want to sleep on the couch that badly?”
He got his laughter under control. “Just take it as a compliment, Fei. They thought you were pretty.”
He pushed to his feet. “I knew I should have put my hair up.”
“But it looks so nice down.”
He rolled his eyes. “No more roller coasters for me. You're on your own.”
Quatre laughed softly. “Want to come with us to see the animals?”
“My luck a monkey will throw something at me,” he muttered under his breath.
Quatre chuckled softly and the group split up with plans to meet at the front gate in two hours. Heero draped his arm over the blond's shoulder and kissed his temple. “How are you feeling?”
“A little tired.”
Wufei looked to him. “Should we leave now?”
He shook his head. “Not before a monkey throws something at you.”
Wufei grunted softly but didn't bother responding as he followed Quatre and Heero toward the animals.
******
“Take that one to the bedroom.”
Heero shook his head as the last box was taken to its appropriate place. “If I'd known you could command a move like that, I would have had you help me when I moved in.”
He laughed. “You'll get the chance.”
“What?”
He shook his head. “Don't worry about it.” He looked up to Heero. “You'll be okay, right?”
“What do you mean?”
“When I die... you'll be able to move on, won't you?”
“Don't talk like that.”
“Heero, there's a chance, a very good one, that I won't make it.”
“And there's a chance you will.”
He gripped Heero's hand and met his eyes. “Not a good one.”
He shook his head. “Don't talk like that.”
He smiled weakly. “I'm just being realistic, Heero.”
He closed his eyes. “I don't want to be realistic right now. I want to pretend that this is permanent and you'll always be here.”
******
“Quatre, where's the sugar?”
Duo shook his head. “You've domesticated him.”
He laughed softly and looked over as Heero leaned into the room. “Middle shelf in the pantry.”
The Japanese man nodded and went back into the kitchen. Quatre lowered the footrest of the recliner and moved the blanket from his lap as he pushed to his feet. The others moved to help and he held up his hand.
“Just going to the bathroom.”
Heero came back into the room with a cup of coffee and sat on the sofa by the recliner. “How'd the meeting go?”
Zechs sighed. “Long, boring, and no progress. Une wants to use the extra funds to give the field agents raises. Some of the other higher ups want bonuses of their own.”
Duo snorted. “As if they don't make enough already.”
Zechs nodded in agreement. “I think in the end, it'll go to the field agents, though.”
“Good,” Duo stated. “We've been wanting to buy a house, but can't quite afford it yet.”
Heero grunted. “And I'm domesticated?”
Duo grinned. “Don't worry, Heero. It happens to the worst of us.”
He rolled his eyes and glanced over as Quatre appeared at the end of the hall. He stared at Heero for a moment, fist pressed to his chest as he gasped softly. Heero jumped up and raced to him as he began to fall. Cerulean eyes fluttered and Heero shook his head.
“Stay with me, Quatre.”
Duo called 911 as Heero tried to get a response out of his lover, but it seemed he'd passed out completely.
“911, can I have your address?”
“943 West Barkers Street, apartment B7.”
“What is your emergency?”
“My friend has cardiomyopathy and he passed out.”
“Is he completely unresponsive?”
“Heero, is he responding at all?”
The Japanese man shook his head. “No.”
“No.”
“Help is on the way. Is he breathing?”
“Yeah, but it's really shallow.”
“How late is his stage?”
Duo swallowed and stepped outside to wait for the ambulance. “They said he wouldn't have more than a year without a transplant about seven months ago.” He heard sirens and was immensely grateful they'd decided to live in Heero's apartment and not Quatre's. An ambulance and fire truck pulled into the parking lot. “They're here.”
“Okay. Good luck.”
He sighed. “It'll take more than luck.” He flipped his phone closed and guided them up to the apartment. He gently pulled Heero back so the paramedics could get to Quatre. Heero's brows drew together.
“Oh shit.” He gripped Duo's arm around his waist. “Not yet.” He shook his head. “Not yet.”
Duo folded his other arm around his friend. “It might not be.”
Quatre was loaded onto a board and rushed out the door. Duo spared a glance to Wufei as he pulled Heero, who apparently fell to a state of catatonia, out the door. The Chinese man grabbed the keys to their SUV and followed after them. Duo sat Heero in the passenger seat and sapphire eyes turned to meet violet.
“I can't lose him now.”
Duo nodded. “I know. You won't. It's just... a spell or something. Okay?”
Heero wanted to believe that. But his mind kept picturing them reaching the hospital only to be informed Quatre was gone. Heero paced the waiting room, unable to calm his mind or body. The others watched, fearing that the Japanese man wouldn't be able to handle losing the blond. They'd all known there was little to no chance Quatre would make it, but actually reaching the end made that knowledge so much more real.
A doctor came in to the room and all eyes turned to him. “Who's with Quatre Winner.”
“We are,” Heero said urgently.
The man nodded and crossed to them. “There's no easy way to say this, but there isn't much time left.”
Heero closed his eyes. “Can I see him?”
“Of course.”
They followed after him. “When you say 'not much time' exactly how long is that?”
He looked to Heero, understanding in his eyes. “Days.”
Heero felt as if the floor fell out from beneath him. It was only the supporting hands of Duo and Wufei that kept him on his feet as they were lead to the room Quatre had been put in. He paused at the door, really taking in the ashen face and shadowed eyes. He'd tried to ignore, but now it was impossible. He moved into the room and laid a hand on Quatre's forearm.
Cerulean eyes slit open and he licked his lips. “I want... to go... home.”
He nodded and pressed his lips softly to Quatre's. “All right.” He looked over his shoulder and Duo was already moving toward the door.
Quatre gripped Heero's hand, jerking slightly as air was forced into him via a tube under his nose. “I'm... at peace... Heero.”
He shook his head. “We didn't finish your list.”
He nodded. “Finish it... for me.”
His eyes stung and he had to close them. “I love you.”
Quatre was torn between a smile and a sob. “I love... you, too.” He pulled Heero's hand to his lips and kissed his knuckles. “Promise...me...”
“Anything.”
“Live... to the fullest... Love... again.”
“I can't love someone like I love you.”
“No... it'll be diff... different... but... don't deny.... yourself... for my sake...” He swallowed and took several breaths. “I won't... be here... It's... not betraying... me.”
Heero dropped his forehead to Quatre's chest. “I can't promise that. But I can promise,” he raised up to meet Quatre's eyes, “I'll do whatever it takes to live a full and happy life.”
Tears slid down ashen cheeks. “That's all... I can ask.”
******
Zechs leaned over the pew, brows drawn together. “He isn't handling this well.”
Wufei nodded, watching as Heero collapsed against Duo, sobs shaking his shoulders. “How would you handle it if it were Trowa?”
He nodded. “I know, but... we're worried.”
Wufei looked up to the blond. “He won't do anything rash. He made a promise to Quatre. He'd never go back on a promise.”
“Will he stay with Preventers?”
He shook his head. “No. Quatre left him everything he got from the buyout when he left WEI. It's in the billions. I'm pretty sure he won't grace headquarters to do more than turn in his badge and gun.”
“Then what'll he do?”
The Chinese man shook his head. “He's got some list that Quatre had made. Things to do before he died. I think he'll try to accomplish everything on it.”
They watched as Heero sank to his knees, pulling Duo with him. “He's falling apart, Wufei.”
“Now. That won't last long. Heero is mission oriented, and Quatre gave him one hell of a mission.”
******
I didn't get my full year with him. I miss him. I need him. But I'm taking all I learned from him and putting it to use.
I've made angels in the snow. I've seen the sun sink beneath and rise above the ocean more times than I can count. I've had pillow fights and paint ball wars. I'm doing it, Quatre. I'm living the life we dreamed of. Just like I promised.
End
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One Year