Memories of Me

BY : Resting-Madness
Category: Beyblade > General
Dragon prints: 629
Disclaimer: Disclaimers: I don't own beyblade in any way shape or form: characters, plots, ideas none of that. And I make no money with this work of fiction.

Talking with Ozuma got me thinking about some things, like how come Zeo is so happy all the time. Maybe part of me just got a bit jealous, and would for once like to see him in his down time. So when I was sure that no one was gonna bother me anymore, tonight I opened the doors to my terrace and walked out to sit on the long padded bench, the decorator put out there for me.

Walking outside at night always makes me feel kind of uncomfortable, I guess it just seems like someone is watching me, y'know? But I'm on private property so that's not possible unless they have binoculars or something, and if you have those why would you waste your time watching a dorky kid like me? Problem solved. Sitting down, I lean against the cozy back of the seat, and flip through the tiny book with the moonlight as my lighting.

Let's see... Mean neighbors up the hill, its just some oldman from Russia- no. Flipping a few more pages, I see that the month has changed.

School's started, and he met my friend Asako Niko, come to think of it I never remember saying that I was sorry to him for bailing on him at the tournament. Looking back down the pages I see that he and I weren't friends when we first met, Niko wasn't shy at all and apparently something about Zeo rubbed him the wrong way, so he played mean jokes on him until eventually they made up because his mom invited him to his next birthday party and they got along great.

Flipping a few more pages I skim down them seeing that over the course of being eight years old, Zeo got sick quite a few times... but nothing overly dramatic or anything like that. Here we go! December 12, 1995.

I wish they would just knock it off already! Why do they have to argue over stupid things? I remember when all they did was make me uncomfortable with their kissing and now-... Rrrr! I'm just so mad at them! I don't even know what the fight is about, I think mom mentioned something about Dad's new assistant and he got all defensive.

My dad doesn't strike me as the type to hit on other women so what were they talking about anyway? Dad sent me to my room with his mean voice when the fight started, and they yelled at each other about that; Idol came in a few minutes after me, whimpering like they're his parents fighting- aren't dogs weird. Great! Now someone slammed a door- probably mom. That's the car,

He must have suddenly dropped his book and pen because there's an ink slash across the paper.

Guess I'm wrong there, Dad is leaving, probably to his lab away from home. Mom is coming upstairs so I'm gonna hide you for a minute, I'll give you the details if she tells me.

The paper is stained with tears now, so I'm guessing he was crying about whatever his mother told him.

Mom says that Dr. Kay wants to do research in Eygpt and Dad wants to move us out there until its done, and she says that could take forever... and that Dr. Kay can just go by herself- I just don't understand why that would cause a fight? Sure we've lived here forever, but that doesn't mean we've been sheltered. I don't care if we move.

Mom seems like she's holding something back but I don't like asking her nosy things when she's crying, so I just hugged her until she felt better then she told me I could invite Ozuma over for dinner, but Ozuma and me haven't spoken in a while.. so I'm not sure if he'd come or not. Mateo... Do you think my parents hate each other? I'll see you later. Good night.

Curious I turn to a few pages later and find out that my Dad sent Dr. Kay on her way to Eygpt alone, and he and my Mom worked things out- in fact- they were more in love than ever, he says. Kind of tired, I close the diary for today and head back in, but my trail didn't stop at the bed like I thought it would, I instead left my room and went to the computer room and started up the internet.

Ozuma told me my Mom's name was Nadaline, so maybe I can find something of hers there. I typed in her name alone, then I typed it in with my last name and a list of things popped up- more than the first search. I clicked on this and that, some were b.s. porn sites, go figure with that, but finally I hit pay dirt with a fansite by some Parisian named Lidia Amecaur.

My mothers full name is Nadaline, Kina, Paradis-Zagart and she's got four best selling albums, this kid even knows her birthday and stuff. It's kind of weird reading about your own mother from some stranger off a website, but I really don't know anything about her. Its like Dad wanted me to forget her altogether or something.

Nadaline was married at age 22, and had one son named Zeo a year after that; she and her husband divorced in 1998 and she moved to France to continue her career as a singer. Her most embarrassing moment, she admits, was when she sang in school and burped on a long note and everyone heard it. Hahaha. There's a spot to download songs, but I can't do that because my Dad might find out about it. I'll just order some and hope they get here when he's not at home.

Leaving the room I speed into my bedroom and grab my wallet to get my credit card. I got this a long time ago because my Dad said holidays and birthdays should be special, so I should be able to buy what I want with it. I've never been so insulted. So I stuck it in my wallet and forgot about it. But now I have a reason to use it; maybe my Dad wasn't being so heartless after all.

Leaving the site I went to another one and thank God they had the cd's. I ordered all of them and an extra that had the greatest hits and two bonus songs and a hidden one. I can't wait until they come! I'll probably listen to them with Ozuma when they get here, it'd be nice to share it with him. Yawning, I knew it was time for bed so I shut everything off and did just that.

The next morning.

I woke up feeling like I got hit by a truck, but opening my eyes I see that it was just Tyson bouncing on my bed.

"Tyson," I hear Rei saying.

"What? It worked didn't it?" He looks down at me. "Hey Zeo, you up dude? Come on, we're going to the park today... remember?" He hopped from the bed leaving the room while saying. "There's probably gonna be a lot of sick bladers there today."

Shaking his head in dismay, Rei reaches out a hand to me to help me sit up. "Sorry about that, we told him to just wait for you but you know Tyson."

I'm busy rubbing my eyes and getting the cricks out of my body. "Why are we going to the park?"

"Zeo," Max chimed in beside Rei. "Sign ups. Come on and get dressed."

"Oh no! I forgot all about that!"

Leaping out of bed- nearly knocking my friends over- I stagger down the mini-hallway to get to my bathroom, where I slam the door shut without meaning to but who cares about that. Starting the shower I strip my clothes off and wash as quickly as a four year old that hasn't gotten the hang of it yet.

Getting dressed I nearly slip because my pant leg got caught on my heel; hopping to the sink I load up my toothbrush and scrub away; wondering how late it is I look over at the clock to see that its near- eleven! How could I sleep in so late?! Spitting the foam into the sink, I wipe a hand across my mouth not even bothering to swish out the rest before leaving the bathroom.

"Come on you guys, I have to register before the place gets crowded." I tear downstairs meeting Tyson at the end of the stairs; bacon grease around his mouth.

"Zeo, we are the crowd." He laughs.

Laughing, I snatch a slice from him and chew on, it getting the grossest taste in the world due to the toothpaste still left in my mouth. I'll be sure to eat a big lunch later.

So much for being the crowd, everyone and their mother must have come today. Young bladers, older bladers, guys I've seen before and new commers to the game.

Tyson is completely fired up, but Max has a leash on him. Some kid is screaming that the Bladebreakers are in the park, but they pretend to be just anybody when people do that. Making my way to the registration table, bumping hips and elbows, I smile at Mr. Dickenson before grabbing the pen from the clipboard to write my name down.

"Aaahh, glad you could make it Zeo. I thought you would have been here at eight when we started, but I didn't see you."

"Ahaha, sorry Mr. Dickenson, I kind of slept in."

The elderly man laughed. "Yes, well, isn't that just like Tyson. But, wouldn't wanna develope his bad habits."

"Oh no, sir." I assure him.

"Tyson once slept clear through two matches; Rei had to bring him regardless, and the bus got blocked in by traffic."

"I never heard that story,"

"Oh its quite a tale, at first they started up the mountain but then Rei sprained his ankle, so it turned out to be Tyson who had to bring Rei."

I laugh at the image, hoping that I have just as much fun when I go out there to compete.

"Are my ears burning?" Says Tyson coming up beside me suddenly. "Hey Mr. D', filling Zeo here in on the worlds."

"Something like that, just telling him about all you kids adventures."

"That's nothing compared to the mischief I can get into, now that I'm older."

"Yes, for our sake let's hope you're joking."

Tyson started to laugh that signature laugh of his, and I turn away from the tables to look around for Ozuma but Mr. Dickenson calls me back.

"Oh Zeo? I hope you have a partner with you."

"Huh?"

"We're doing doubles this year, all the matches are two on two."

"Two on two?! Do I still have time to look for a partner?"

Someone pushed past me, and I see Ozuma write his name down beside mine. "I don't mind blading with you, Zeo. Besides, I never got to participate in world's."

"...Ozuma... Thank you." I kind of thought he was sad a little bit- because of yesterday- and he wasn't at my house when the others came to get me, but I guess he slept in too.

"Aah, splendid. So it will be Zeo and Ozuma in the tournament this year."

"Yup." Tyson drops an arm around the both of us. "It's just too bad the rest of us can't compete anymore, but we'll be cheering you guys on the whole way."

"Thanks Tyson." Wriggling away, I look out over the crowd. "Come on, let's see if anyone wants a match."

"You brought your blade?"

"Of course!" I shine Cerberus in the light.

Ozuma takes out Flash Leopard, and we find some guys to practice our skills on- ha! More like slaughter! With Ozuma as my partner we'll be unstoppable. We must have been outside for hours, because the crowd began to thin as people were leaving and calling out rematch or shouting that they were number one. The others, now with cramped hands from signing autographs, said goodbye and Ozuma and me walk to my house in somewhat silence.

"I ordered some of my Mom's cds last night."

"Oh yeah?"

"Mmhmm, I thought we could listen to them together when they arrive." I rush ahead of him and walk backwards. "Won't it be awesome to hear her voice? I'm practically at the place where they send them from and ripping the package open." I exaggerate, but its true. I want them as soon as I can get them.

Ozuma smiled at me. "You're really serious about finding out about your past."

"Not my past," I correct him. I know my past, one morning I opened my eyes in my bedroom, and I went for a walk and met Tyson and the others and I was completely bent on being a beyblader. "I'm talking about Zeo."

Ozuma raised a hand giving it a wave. "Okay, okay."

"You wanna come over for dinner?" I get into step beside him again. "I can tell William to get us something good to eat."

"Okay."

Wrapping an arm around his, I lean my head on the top of Ozuma's and we walk back to my house in silence.

9 9 9

Ozuma took the journal from me and sat on my bed; I joined him, and took it back. We snicker for a second then I flip it open. "I think Dr. Kay was hitting on my Dad back in the day, and tried to get him to join her in Egypt because she knew my mother wouldn't wanna move out there with me."

"Eeww, that crusty old woman with the black hair?"

"Uh huh, they had a fight about it, but then everything worked out." Turning a few pages I show him what I meant.

He looked down and read it out loud. "I overheard my mother on the phone with one of her friends talking about how shady Dr. Kay has been acting, and she keeps pushing Dad for a raise... but then Mom said that Dad was thinking about firing that woman anyway. I think maybe that's why they made up."

"Bleh, could you imagine me having to call that evil witch mother?"

I laugh, setting the book to rest on my lap. "Hmm, you know what, we have to think up a good name for ourselves."

"You think so? I thought we'd just be using Saint Shields."

"Nuh uh, I really want something that says we're dangerous, like..." I trail off running a list of cool words through my head. "Steel Machines." The embarrassment was worth it for the laugh Ozuma made. But Steel Machines does sound cool.

"Beast Machines." He throws out.

"Ahaha, that sounds like a kiss of death to me."

"Now think about it, you're the machine and I'm the beast because of Flash Leopard."

"Cerberus is beast too." I protest.

Ozuma waved a hand. "I know, we can both be the beast part."

"Good." Sitting in silence I smile into a laugh. "Can't you just hear the ref saying our name to everyone out there. Its gonna be so cool."

"Yeah." He looked out to where I was, almost like we were both thinking about the same thing.

"I wonder if my Dad will be able to make it to some of my matches?" My gaze drops to my lap in thought. "He went to a lot of Zeo's things. When he went through that baseball period, swimming, recitals."

"Dr. Zagart said he was coming to yours."

"I know but, he sometimes says things and then something comes up... But I know his work is important, I'm not some little kid anymore... I won't be sad about it." But when what I said played back in my head, I started to feel sick.

I'm not a little kid anymore, because I've never really been a kid in the first place. I was created at age 14 so I was a preteen. I must have been unaware of my face because Ozuma suddenly hugged me, making hushing sounds while stroking my hair. Its hard to explain it but, I really don't know why I'm crying; it isn't because of fleshen Zeo, it isn't because I'm not like everyone else... I guess deep down I just needed this, everybody does at some point in life... I guess today is mine.

"It's not fair," I hear myself say.

"What's not fair?"

"How things work out." I sniffle before rubbing my tear stained eyes on my boyfriend's shirt. "I never would have been born if it weren't for that accident, I never would have a purpose."

"Zeo, you can't... you shouldn't think about things like that."

Ozuma is right, he was right about the whole thing. I never should have wanted to know things, I never should have thought about what Zeo was like... but it wasn't my fault for being so curious, but once I found his journal in his secret hiding place in his room I couldn't help but begin to question things about him.

"Zeo... I'm only gonna tell you this once," he moved me back to look at me. "What happened was bad, but not entirely a tragedy because... it's like having a twin in a sense... Zeo, he died and gave you life. Yeah, its true that your father wouldn't have a need to do what he did to create you... but at the same time, its good that he did because he loves you so much."

"Yeah but, he loves fleshen Zeo, not me I'm just... I don't know a prop."

"You're not a prop, Zeo." He rubs my back now. "You're you, and there are a lot of people who like you and love you."

"Yeah but Ozuma, I never told you about a lot of things because it embarrassed me."

"What things?"

Wiping my face with the back of my hand, I look away from him. "I don't know, just things- some kids used to throw stuff, and other people older people would make fun of me or my Dad, just dumb things like that."

"Who cares about those jerks, they don't know you... and even if they do, they're idiots because they don't understand."

I guess that makes sense. I never knew any of those idiots that said those things to me, some of the kids that threw stuff, yeah, but... I never really spoke much with them anyway. Giving myself a brief clean up, I smile at him, the best I can anyway, then pick up the journal.

"Ozuma, do you think you could read the last entry to me. I wanna see it, I wanna know what went through his head in that last day... I don't know why, part of me just wants to at least know if he was happy or not." I wipe my eyes again. "Zeo is like my twin in some ways... but at the same time I'm my own person now, right?"

"Yeah." I can see tears in his eyes a bit; now I just feel like a jerk. "Let me see..."

He takes the book from me and then begins to read.

Ozuma flips through the journal; his fingers are trembling a bit. He himself has always been curious about the disappearance of his childhood friend, but having the Zeo he knows today looking over his shoulder, isn't helping his nerves in the least as he locates the blank pages in the book, then flips back to find where the writing has its start to its end. Clearing his throat he holds the book up, takes a deep breath, then lets it out through his words...

April 26, 1997.

Something feels weird about today, like maybe Mom and Dad are gonna start fighting again. Is it possible to predict a fight between your parents? I know it sounds weird, especially because Mom is in France where I'm going to be by the time my birthday comes around- I'll be ten this year.

But... I don't know, Dad seems kind of upset about my leaving. I think he would have rather had Mom come to us, since he can't get out of work because of that woman Dr. Kay, she said she found something and that was the last thing I heard before they closed the door to the study, and Dad ordered me to go to my room and practice my violin.

Mr. Masterson brought me up a snack of cookies and milk, telling me that my father said I'll be spending my birthday with Mom alone this year and that I should have fun. Its strange when he's like this, because he always pays attention to me but lately he's been engrossed in his work.

Still haven't heard anything from Ozuma yet, I think he ditched me- that jerk. I thought we were friends, I even wrote him a couple of times... but then I realized that I don't exactly know where he's living. This whole year has been kind of dumb, is it possible that as you get older you become more depressed about every little thing, unlike when you're a kid... things are just a shrug off then you're on to the next thing. I hope not, I'm only nine going on ten. I'm not ready for the sad parts of life yet.

End POV.

Ozuma stopped reading, tears streaming down his face as he sniffles. Zeo grabbed a tissue wiping his tears before handing it to him so he can blow his nose. The blue haired child's arms go around his lover, and he lays his head on Ozuma's, feeling his pain as he was the one who needed the comfort not only minutes ago.

"I hate that he wrote that, that he was lonely... and I could have been there for him but, I had a mission... I had things that needed to be done, and Zeo... when they were done I had planned to go back to being his friend but... it never worked out that way."

Nodding, the Zagart child nuzzles his lover's dual colored hair. "I know he didn't mean it, he loved you Ozuma otherwise he wouldn't have hated that you weren't friends that saw each other everyday."

Half a smile comes to the half indian child, and he says. "Thanks Zeo." Sniffling again, he looks down at the book then reads.

Wanna hear something weird? Mr. Kaiho our driver keeps looking at me funny, like he's gonna tug my hair or call me names. I don't think he likes me very much, but its not like I've demanded much from him; sometimes I bang on the glass divider so he'll roll it down instead of going for the intercom, but Dad tells me not to play on it. I know how to use it now, so why would he get mad suddenly about something that happened years ago?

Hmm. I'm not gonna be in France long, just long enough to see Mom and have my party. So I'm gonna leave you here- don't let anyone find you okay? Ha, but don't think I'm so glum, I have lots of friends there, and the party is gonna be so fun- so maybe Dad won't be at this party, I have a lot more to go before I'm at that teenage move-out stage, right? Hahahaha.

April 30, 1997

What a rush everyone is in! I've been in the bath just a while ago and had to get back in because I didn't wash my hair, Dad's been yelling up a storm about every little thing- I think he's mad because he can't join me.

Dr. Kay knocked on the door a little while ago and the two of them started yelling back and forth, I think he might be firing her because she is fuming today, and after they talked so secretively and kind to each other only a couple or so days ago.

I accidently stepped on Idol in my rushing around, I blame everyone for making the air so staticy today. Didn't I tell you? Idol's coming too! I hate to have him in luggage though, I wonder if I can sneak him on- no? Darn it.

Anyway, guess what the present Mom got me she sent it to me early and you won't believe what it was? A beyblade! She knew how much I wanted one and she got it for me- I think she sent it ahead so I could practice and really wail on those other kids when I get to France. I've called it Zeronix I think it sounds pretty French don't you?

Shoot. That's my Dad calling for me, I'll see you when I get back okay. Oh! And by the way, I'm sorry I couldn't think of a name for you but in the end, I decided that talking to you was a lot like listening to myself so I think that, Me, is an appropriate name. (he drew a smily face) see you later.

"That's the end of it..." Says Ozuma, voice low, head down.

The two of them sat quietly for a great stretch of time, neither knowing just what to say to the other both of them hurt and effected by the absense of the lost child.

"He never saw it coming," says Zeo after a moment. "He never knew that there was gonna be a car accident he didn't know that he was gonna..." He began to cry, not little sobs either. He cried strong and hard, his tears leaving wet patches wherever they landed. "He never got to be..." his words were stopped by the fit of tears that came from his throat as he coughed them out.

Ozuma held the book to his chest wanting to cuddle Zeo, but at the same time he wanted the same treatment but all he could do was cry as well. Zeo never got to know that he was upset about not getting to see him anymore, that's why the day he found out about the accident he trained and he trained hard. He would not let the reason he had been away from his dear friend have been for nothing, he vowed he would get those beast from the new avatars that have them and he wouldn't let his ancestors, morely Zeo, have suffered in vein.

But for the good it did, because as it turned out the bladebreakers were perfectly capable of protecting their beast, even after they've been taken because they were chosen... and the beast would return to them time and time again. But none of that matters because he lost his friend, and he was never going to get him back.

"I want it."

"Zeo?"

"I wanna give the journal to my Dad, he deserves it." He wipes his tears with the back of his hand. "Zeo was his everything and, this will make him feel him again... maybe even stop his loneliness."

Ozuma thought that over, but felt he had not much of a choice. With a nod he hands the book over to his boyfriend. Zeo leans over, planting a kiss on his cheek. "I'll look for those letters Zeo wrote, and I'll give them to you, Ozuma." Wrapping his arms around the boys neck, he takes in a deep breath then releases both it and Ozuma at the same time. "I'll be back."

"Okay."

Slipping from his bed, he walks out of the room and downstairs with the sad sounds of his boyfriend's tears in his ears. As he makes his way down the stairs, he has to pause hearing that his father is on the phone with someone, that can't matter now, his father would just have to call them back. Gathering himself, Zeo knocks on the door of his fathers study.

"Not now," calls Harushige Zagart in a gruff tone. "I'm on the phone, make whatever for dinner I won't be eating tonight."

Seeing that his father thought that he was the cook, Zeo just allowed himself into the room; he wasn't snapping at him, afterall.

Dr. Zagart looks up at his son with disdain but a sigh changes the tone in his voice. "Not now Zeo, I'm in the middle of something."

But the young teen walked over to the desk regardless, setting the book down on it. His father took one look at it and paled. He hasn't seen this book since...

"I'll call you back." He hangs up the phone without a word from the person he is speaking too. "Zeo, where did you?"

"I don't think he'd want me to give away his secret hiding place." He tried to smile.

Harushige pulled his second son close to him, holding him around the waist almost as a hug. "I never wanted to let you know about him but I was forced into it."

"I know, you don't have to explain."

"But I want to..." He looks down, not knowing where to start.

Zeo knew where. "Why didn't you tell me about Mom?" He asked. "You put the memories of so many people Zeo knew into me but, she wasn't one of them. Did you not want her to know me?"

Zagart shook his head. "Your mother knows about you, Zeo. That's the reason we broke up... I was devistated when I heard about the accident, I spent days, weeks, months buried in my work until one day Dr. Kay came into my office talking about something that went on in Russia. It involved the extraction of animal spirits and the placement of them into living bodies, and I thought with this technology I can try something, it had to work, I just needed a vessel." His eyes sadden more. "I built your body perfectly, programed this emotion into you and that, memories of people you know, names, dates, to an extent... all I needed then was the bases to make you real."

Zeo opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out.

"Kay had no clue about what I was doing, she just knew that I wanted a special kind of rock and its been located in New York city, much to our surprise it was being held by the mother of one of the avatars to the four sacred beast, that roamed the land millions of years ago." Looking into the boy's azure eyes, he blinks a smile into his own. "I love you so much, son. I would do anything to hold you again... With the rock, I extracted a spirit but it didn't work. At first you moved a bit, but in the end you collapsed to the floor like a lifeless doll. I needed something stronger."

"Is that when you decided on the sacred spirits?"

"Yes. Luckily your mother sent you one of those beyblades so I programed the game into you, you took on a temporary spirit," he touched his chest. "In your heart looms Cerberus now, back then, it was something weaker just a dog beast- but it worked. I brought you up to your grief-stricken mother; you smiled at her and said hello. I didn't let you know whom she was should she not take it well, and I was right in doing so; Nadaline was sickened by what I've done and there was a nasty divorce, so in the end your rebirth became the reason we separated."

Zeo could understand now. His father wanted him to be real, his mother found out about it and hated him- both of them. If he was told about the woman he would want to know of her, its only natural, with all the thoughts and feelings he's able to have. She would scream if she heard him speak to her, he wouldn't blame her.

"The sacred souls," his fathers voice caught his attention again. "Wouldn't have been extractable even if we were able to take the beast from their masters... so I love you as you are but Zeo, secretly." He fingers the cover of the book. "I always wanted him back."

Zeo's tears fell again hearing that. He always knew that deep down his father wanted his real son. He knew he could never compare.

"It wasn't because I was displeased with you, but because Zeo was never really gone."

"What do you mean?"

"The car was found, his dog's burned body... but Zeo and Kaihou were never found..."

"Do you mean?"

"I mean, Zeo might be dead... but at times I wonder if that's really true?"

His breathing is heavy, echoing around in the back of the empty truck as it rattles along the road. A dirty huddle of a teen sits shuddering in a corner, bouncing lightly up and down as the car moves along the road but the truck is old, which is why when going over a deep pothole the back doors pop open flapping in the breeze rushing about them.

Frightened eyes look at the window, trembling hands reach out to see if its real and when the truck slows at a corner weak legs stagger from it and into the woods at the quickest pace they can move. Shuddered breaths roam in and out of the teens lungs as he looks over his shoulder around the tree trunk at the truck, now continuing on its way down the forested woods towards its destination.

Tears clean a bit of the dirt from his cheeks as they make their way to freedom; blue bangs shade the boy's crystal blue colored eyes as he looks up at the sky. And with what little strength he has to work with he lets out a great scream...

 



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