unrequited

unrequited


disclaimer: oh, sod off
warning: yea, right
an: So the last crash on aff caused many stories to go from beta read and approved to spelling disasters. I am a slow bird and am only now revising the mistakes made. Feel free to read the story again though! Not many het pairings in this catagory get any attention.


//You’re so fucking blind
You should have seen just what was there
I couldn’t have made it much more clear
I wanted you from the start
On a platter you had my heart
But your eyes weren’t open to me
And you just couldn’t see//

chapter one/reality


She lay there very still, sprawled out over the rumbled covers of the bed in her hotel room. Dressed in only her slip and lingerie, her hair torn from its once neat chignon, her eyes rimmed with circles of endless meetings and bloodshot from crying - she was physically tired, mentally distraught and unable to move. Relena Dorlain thought she could die right there.

After spending seventeen grueling hours about the shuttle Titania preparing her notes and research and downing six Styrofoam cups of black coffee, she’d reached L3 with the purpose of settling disputes between ESUN and colony trading senators. After ten hours of mediation the sides resolved to deadlock and resigned to reconvene after everyone had rested. Foreign Minister Dorlain, on call, spent the first two hours appeasing the colonies, another three with her own people and finally another three filing out the paper work. In a little less than six hours it would begin again – she’d not eaten since the shuttle, hadn’t slept in nearly 48 hours, and had discovered that she’d started her period.

Needless to say, Minister Dorlain was not a very happy woman.

But she was strong and determined and stubborn to a fault. She knew the distrustful, whining colony representatives were merely getting their voices heard and that on principle the snooty, arrogant earth delegates would ignore them. The solution was just time. Let both sides vent and play their childish games while she played the charming, wise politician who saved face and offered peace on a platter with parsley. She came to these meetings alert, dressed in designer suits and heels with her laptop in her briefcase and her cellular piece in her ear. She wore the look of mild, polite interest and had a smile that could silence a room.

She could handle the sniveling, pathetic male delegates. Breasts gave her the advantage, a skirt the power over a roomful of politicians. They were all the same, no matter where she was.

Oh course this was not the problem that truly burdened Minister Dorlain. This was not the secret she kept deep within her heart locked tight and bound from all to see. This was not the curse that kept her awake at night, pushed her into her work and made her thighs quiver. Like most politicians, she had a weakness, one she was determined to keep secret at all costs. That is until this night.

Relena wanted to reveal her secret to the one person with the power to crush her soul with one single glance in her direction. Tonight – she decided to tell Heero Yuy that she was in love with him.

Since they were fifteen he captivated her. His searing glare, his cold demeanor, his unnaturally antisocial tendencies. She was entranced from the start by everything about him. The more she discovered hidden beneath the intricate layers of his façade, the closer she came to the core of his psyche…she loved him from the start. Her feelings were strong and drove her forward. They gave her strength to fight because she knew she had to – for both of them. It hadn’t been until the last year that her feelings had somewhat changed…turning more into the animalistic kind of love than fairy tale.

Although still a virgin at twenty four, she wasn’t naïve to the lure of sex and the commandance of sexual desire. She wanted him, wanted him to be her first. She wanted to feel his skin, touch it, taste it – she’d spent hours upon hours imagining interludes between them. Would he be a gentle lover, or command her into orgasm? No matter what she knew he would be giving – never quick off the draw or selfish. Heero was too controlled, too meticulous to even be considered anything but in the bedroom.

For so long she believed they were destined, they had to be. Some divine force had brought them together nine years ago, saved her life, saved his, kept them entwined…as he served now on Chief Security Council for the Preventers their lives were even more twisted together. As head of her security he was never outside a thirty feet parameter of her. The close proximity had been closing in for some time now – and Relena found it harder and harder to resist the adamancy of her unrequited desire. After sharing years of personal, privileged moments Relena would confront him with her feelings. She knew that he must share her sentiments, the evidence was clear – years of self-sacrifice and determination for the sake of her protection, eternal patience and understanding. He knew her inside and o her her favorite symphony to her favorite book, how she liked her tea, to her before bed routine – every step of the way he was beside her, offering unspoken support and confidence to continue her endeavors to bring peace to the galaxy. He was her whole world.

She had been debating for so long on how to tell him. She was tired, as she knew he was – but today would be the day she made her confession to him. She felt the stars twinkle in agreement, the flowers bloom in acceptance. It was time.

It had not been an easy decision to make. She was excited, yes, but afraid. They had such a strict routine reigning over their lives that she couldn’t imagine what it would be like to be in a relationship. She could imagine dinners on the town; his hand enveloped around hers, kisses, yes, so many kisses. And sex, she had a feeling there would be a lot of it. She wanted there to be. She would have his body, but also his heart and soul. If she would have him then she would have everything, she expected no less and would give no less in return. It was an immense stride for her to achieve, to put herself in such a vulnerable position for the sake of love. A step not to be made in vain – or in haste. But her mind was set, her heart true. Tonight was the night. Like an opera reaches its pinnacle and denouement is found through climax, her heart was racing, aching for that moment when the words she had longed to say for so long would finally be said.

After cleaning herself up, misting herself with his favorite scent, jasmine, and she went into the adjoining hotel suite he occupied to confide her true feelings. She heard his voice vaguely from the bedroom and proceeded to draw closer. The door was slightly ajar, allowing her to peek into the room through a thin crevice. She nearly gasped when she realized what was actually going on.

Heero was not alone.

His sweaty, militarily toned and trained body thrusted hard and fast into thin, eager hips – slender tanned legs wrapped around his back – his mouth hot and wet on hard, raspberry colored nipples. The woman’s head was thrown back, her moans growing in strength as she found her release, long golden flax strands slick with skin matted to her skin, his skin, their skin gleaming...Heero was making love…no… fucking Dorothy Catalonia.

Relena might as well have ripped out her own heart.

She couldn’t think. She couldn’t speak. She couldn’t even breathe but one thing was clear – she had to get out of there fast. Gathering whatever sense she could, she willed her feet to move, run, as fast as possible. In her haste to get free she knocked over a crystal lamp on a nearby table – cutting herself and creating such a clamor that she swore she heard Heero cock his gun. Relena wanted to die.

Heero emerged from the bedroom – attired in boxers and an unbuttoned oxford shirt, gun in hand. His hair was mused, his skin still gleaming in sexual satisfaction, a small irregular bruise forming along the base of his neck. “Relena? What are you doing here?” He demanded in his usual monotone.

She could only stare at him with wide eyes.

“You’re bleeding. Come with me,” He gently pulled her to her feet and pushed her into the bathroom. He pushed her down onto the edge of the whirlpool bathtub and rummaged through the cabinets until he pulled out the first aid kit. “What do you think you were doing?” He asked, meeting her wide eyes with a narrow, even stare.

He had just been between the legs of one of the women she despised the most. He was so close she could smell him, smell the scent of carnal sex on his skin. How could he be so casual, so cool? Did he not realize what she had seen, what she felt? Did he not see the shock in her features, heartbreak in her eyes? Could Heero Yuy, the Perfect Soldier, be so oblivious to the one woman in the world his life was centered around? God, he even smelled like Dorothy’s perfume, like lilacs. Lilacs filled the air around her, filled her nostrils until she felt she would choke. The words practically fell of her tongue without rational thought. “I saw you.”

She imagined he stiffened with surprise, but he didn’t even flinch. “Saw what?”

“You…and Dorothy?” Relena didn’t even know if it was disgust or disbelief that clouded her thoughts.

“That is none of your concern, Relena.” Heero answered after a moment of silence, as he continued to take care of the abrasions. “You are my employer, not my keeper. This is my downtime; I can do whatever I want with whoever I want. That is my business, not yours.”

Employer. The word hurt more than the image branded on her brain of the lovers in their provocative pose. He might as well have actually shot her; the bullet wound a scratch by comparison. Relena said nothing. She couldn’t.

“Was there something you needed? Something I could get you?” He asked, sealing the bandages around her wrist.

“No. There is nothing you can do for me.” She whispered.

Heero practically hoisted her up, led her towards the door of the adjoining rooms. “Give me a call if you need me,” He replied, practically pushing her through the doorway, then slowly closing the door behind her and locking it. No sound could have hurt more than the click of that lock, followed by mumbling through thin walls followed by a female giggle. Relena shut the door on her side, locked it and headed for her own bedroom. It took thirty seconds for the tidal wave of emotion to break past her carefully placed guard and she collapsed into a fit of body racking sobs.

So there she was, spent after hours of crying, drained mentally and physically exhausted. She had managed an attempt to undress and sleep with no avail – it hurt too much. The man she had given her heart, the man she’d revered and idolized onto a pedestal of gold had rejected her – been blind to her love, been blind to her. The man she’d saved herself for, the man she’d fought so hard for, the man of her dreams…had shattered everything in that one unguarded moment. Everything she had ever believed about the Perfect Soldier was a lie.

She felt like a fool, a blind, naive, immature little fool.

Relena wanted to die.

She ripped the bedside phone from the wall, locked and barricaded the door, shut the drapes and grabbed the nearest blanket and pulled it over her head. Her misery compounded, Relena fell into a fitful sleep.



to be continued…