Voices In Ones Head
Voices In Ones Head
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DBZ at all, I don’t think I need to do the disclaimer.
(then kicking) at my door, I guess I’ll do it just in case.
to but that’s another story! Onwards,
fair reader…….
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none;text-autospace:none\'>font-family:Arial;mso-ansi-language:EN-NZ\'>VOICES
(In One’s Head)
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Prologue
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marks an occasion in the his of of my life which is of great
significance. A new me has been born, a
phoenix has risen out of the ashes of the flames of a love that once burned
brightly until it’s supply of energy ran out and died, leaving me a weak
fragile husk, wrought of all emotion.
My ideals had been stolen and moulded to fit someone else until I could
no longer recognise them as mine any more; I was usteusted, used, and in no fit
mental state to do anything but sleep, and dream.yes\"> What sparked this new lease of life was the day I saw IT.
messages were blurred at first because of my dulled thoughts at the time; it
had made no sense. I didn’t
understand. But I had to know more, I
was hungry and impatient to soak up this information, so I paid attention, and
the messages got stronger. Something
inside me began to stir, a new strength, at that time a small spark in amongst
a defeated psyche, a tinge of rebellion inside a place that had been forced to
conform outside it’s own will, and over time it grew and expanded into
something that could not be ignored. So
I flew the coop I had been imprisoned in for the last four years and sed
ed
back somewhere I could re-discover myself again, without too many outside influences
trying to change me. I would sleep and
wake up to be greeted by this two-dimensional vivid world before me, and sneak
a look into the everyday lives of its inhabitants.yes\"> Slowly I began developing my own branch of interests in this
world - of a particular race, and a certain individual.
‘normal’ life, for I am anything but normal.
Especially now.
this point on, I impart to you, the reader, my adventures in the universe
inside my head, which, in the next paragraph or six, describes how I discover
it. On this – today, when nothing would
ever be the same.
n
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out the glare of the streetlights.
Outside, a full moon keeps it\'s vigil through a semi cloudy sky above
the surface of this mudball I have come to despise.yes\"> Two hours before, I had looked upon it\'s silver-white crater
pocked surface, while red-hot anger and determination built inside me, bursting
to erupt, although I maintained control it won\'t be long until something snaps,
I must act fast. Tonight is the
time. Time to change, to break free of
tundaundane routine of the real world.
My parents have left the house for the weekend, so their inane nattering
and interruptions will not disturb me.
I have been preparing the whole day, preparing for what is to come.
discontent from the lack of stimulus other than visual and aural, a universe
needs more, I must experience touch, smell, taste, full immersion... I need to
push things further, to form my own reality, free of the burdens and rules and
restrictions, physical and mental, which come with the package ignorantly
branded "REAL LIFE".
I arose out of bed, I have spent my day expanding my mind into it\'s more
further uncharted reaches, the trance music playlist set to loop on my computer
softening the harder outer surface, making it more malleable, so I can push on
through. The music is now switched
off, and a heady aroma of incense permeates my small room.
comfortable position, for I plan to stay this way for a long time.
begin to visualise.
concentrate on creating the form that has been in my head for the past few months,
nurtured by the information my brain has voraciously consumed all this
while. This information contributes to
work as a template, outlining her form, her mannerisms, her strengths, her
weak... - not-so-strengths. She rotates
around in front of me, a flawless warrior, but imperfections will soon shine
through with time. I am in awe of her
as I hold out an astral hand to place her semi-transparent form upon it.
allow myself to think back on those explosive feelings I had when I had looked
at the full moon. The homicidal urges,
the inexplicable blinding fierce rage, mercilessness, all-consuming anger, an
ego too big for this galaxy to handle; she will share my inner fire, along
with a pride I could never feel outside
of myself.. one which if insulted, the insultee would not be so offensive in
the future, if at all. I scrape it all
together, shielding myself with meditative calm, lest the raw power breaks
through and distracts me from my task.
With my remaining hand I manipulate the power into a ball, compressing
it gently, handling it like some volatile substance.yes\"> Parts of it are as thick as treacle, stubborn.. other parts are
sharp to the touch.. I mould it carefully. yes\"> To hasten would result in a mind wracked with pain and entrapment,
and barely enough control to hold me back from what all this energy stands
for. Once content that it can hover in
an area the size of my palm, I way hay hand around it three times over the top,
three underneath, three on both left and right sides, then randomly around the
circumference, mentally chanting the words:
p>
great essence - sleep, in this blanket
of neutrality...
\'til the time is right, when you meet your new reality..
I chant, a blanket acting like a wax on a cheese envelops the energy, absorbing
the power of the compressed ball in a black neutral crust.
layer, I dissipate the shield, and once again, all is calm.
the balance of body and character complete in left and right palms
respectively, I now embark on the ultimate hunt.yes\"> For a soul, a spirit, but not just any will suffice.
is greater than any god, for the fact it does not have to be believed in or
prayed to or have sacrifices made in Its name (It doesn’t even HAVE a name
(yet)) to exist. It has lived forever
and never. Lives everywhere and
nowhere, and from what I notice, It is choosing nowhere as its preferred place
for the time being. One who is not
prejudiced against any race or any species, whatever It destroys it destroys
randomly, by instinct. It is a
completely neutral entity, neither good or evil, right or wrong, black or
white. It knows no restrictions, it
does not set limits for itself. It is
above time, above space, above logic.
It is a dreamer, and in its seemingly eternal slumber, any galaxy or
sector of the universe which is destroyed or created, stems from those
dreams. All codes and sequences of life
are stored within this wondrous being, all updates of evolutions, new species
and mutations are kept in a databank within ItSelf.yes\"> It does not exist in the universe related to this plane, but
inside the universe in my head, or to be more specific, the infinite darkness
behind my eyelids, where my dreams and visions come to life.
relaxation, I wander deeper into the unfathomable reaches of my mind.. holding
the keys which will unlock the rusty doors and fling them wide; where I will
encounter the One who I will infuse with those keys, my creations..
looking for.. I must not stop... I must not lose myself in all this blackness,
for the doors are still shut and there are no stars.yes\"> I keep my eyes peeled for any change in the blackscape, any small
alteration or warp or shimmer could mean a discovery for me.
yes\">
beseech thee, it is I, the old one!! I
have returned, old no longer.
Refreshed, energised, invigorated, I seek you; a useful soldier am I now!
broadcast my message throughout, hoping the mindwaves reach far enough to alert
the One I am searching for. I sense a
change in the atmosphere, like one is listening, but not quite convinced and needs
more information. I am a little
saddened as because I have been out of touch with myself for so long, I do not
receive a vibe of recognition, which would be, I’m guessing, like when an old
friend who you knew a long time ago still remembers who you are – a feeling of
significance that you were still in that persons thoughts after all this
time. One good thing though, is
weak feeling, just a hint, no telepathic messages, or images.
I bring knowledge, One, and maybe an
adventure. Hasn’t it been a while?
curious as to who I am? You may
recognise me, you may not. My visit to
you will be no waste, from this you can be assured.yes\"> Prepare thyself if you will, for such escapades are likened to
none other experienced in your endless loop of life, and those to come from
others such as I. Hear me!!!!
A huge bright exclamation-mark shape
looms out at me from nowhere and almost seems to knock me over, like a bus that
rushes out from the corner of a TV screen while someone who has carefully
looked both ways twice steps out off the curb, and claims their life in a split
second without braking. But this
exclamation-bus did stop, suddenly, in my face.yes\"> Thenw#ene also reminds me of surreal flashback of children’s
television programs from two decades ago.
The shape looks solid, white in contrast to the black (still starless)
background, but looked at it in a different way, it was a gap in the darkness,
a space of vast white that I could walk through.yes\"> I could hear a stirring, a noise amongst the silence of that
shape/void. A breeze froze the stubble
on my scalp, invaded my ears and formed into whispers.
‘Enter, If you dare.’