Adult-FanFiction.org : Gundam, Beyblade, DBZ, FMA

Reviews for Even More Of Us

By : CardDragonBall

From Spacefille on March 20, 2004
Aww. Gogeta leaving makes me sad. :( And I hope Bardock doesn't do anything to hurt him...
Onto the next chapter! :D
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From Spacefille on March 20, 2004
Wait... does Trunks have memories of both futures? O.o Ah well, time travel is always confusing. I like your writing style it is very pleasant. On to more! *treks off to chapter two*
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From ANON - Luna on March 20, 2004
Continue.More Lust Cycle.Now.Forget Gogeta.Stupid Bulma POV.Still Continue.LUst Cycle.
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From ANON - Getarian on March 20, 2004
Enjoyed the lemon...very much! But surprisingly, it was the scenes afterwards that I loved even more:

"�Hey, �Geta,� Goku said."
�Yes, Kakarot?�

I love this...The whole scene you painted was awesome. It was totally relaxed, I could feel the previous, companionable silence before Goku spoke, his tone open and questioning and Vegeta's equally open and accomodating response. I loved their open thoughts on the possibility of there being others of their race, it showed how deeply they were now a part of one another...no longer that divide of their past between them, and then the end of the conversation as Vegeta remained sitting looking up to the night sky, (I'd love to know what he was thinking) whilst Goku snuggled on his side and yawned as he thought of their children...and Gohan...LOL!

I agree with him, I like it better this way too :-)

�I listen to them,� Bardock countered, �But I�m the first born one, I don�t have to obey them.�

*chuckle* Boy can I hear his father in this sentence :-)

Loved Bulma's thoughts on the difference between the Human mothering instincts and the Saiyan mothering instincts and was slightly saddened by her observations in regards to Vegeta and Goku and how Vegeta never looks around for Gogeta but Goku does, however; this does perfectly highlight once again the difference between Saiyan and Human, as in this instance...Goku's human upbringing is called into play.

"(Plus as much as she loved her son, she didn�t really want to end up being screwed into a wall by Vegeta again."

Good God! The woman has gone insane! :-)

I'm amused by the memory of how Goku reacted to seeing a naked Trunks & Goten sleeping together and yet Bulma seems to have accepted the future union of Trunks & Goten in much the same way as Vegeta has. I gather it's because Goku can't seem to differentiate the fact that they are not brothers whereas Vegeta & Bulma can...but it's still funny nonetheless :-)

Looking forward to the next chapter.

"You know; I just noticed that More of Us isn�t on the first page of AFF.net anymore."

Yeah, I noticed that too...I'm dreading when "Hormone Therapy" goes the same way...these fics...page 2...it's not right!

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From ANON - Mechanical Butterfly on March 19, 2004
Yes, indeed poor Gohan, I would probably go crazy if I had to watch after those little saiyajins.

I did that. Vegeta thought. --so cute to know how he makes his mate feel...or look...

Yes, Kakarot?� His voice had a rough edge to it, like his throat was sore. And Goku too a great deal of pride in knowing that it had been from screaming his name.--again very cute, I really like that.

I just don't know how you write so many lemons...sheesh...I would be like @_@, my mind would be fried! The lemon in this chapter was especially lovely. ^.^ I thank you for so many of them
^.*
-MB-

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From ANON - Luna on March 19, 2004
*joyiously(Is this a word?o.o)singing Lust Cycle*
*regains sanity*UPDATE!SOON!
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From ANON - Mechanical Butterfly on March 19, 2004
Rad! thanks for that tidbit of info on Bardock!
Great chap, with a very yummy lemon, I always enjoy reading those!

Awwww! How cute was that breakfast scene!!!! Bulla and Goku and then goku pouting to Vegeta...loved it.

�Where�s breakfast?� he asked.
�At your house,� Vegeta said.--rofl! that is so funny! that sooo sounds like something somebody in my family would say.

goku and Goten are so cute and have such a sweet bond. Bulma just cracks me up! When she walks in on them and says she's too old for this and also in the little end notes!
can't wait for the next chapter!
^.*
-MB-

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From ANON - Aarika on March 18, 2004
ohh definatly nedd to read that fic..but anyway lol i realikeliked bulla and goku's fight...reminds me of my house in the morning...damn cereal never enough of the stuff. I also laughed when i read Bulmas comment about the rainforest, atleast she's concerened with the enviroment. Well anyway can't wait for the next chapter(lemony goodness alright!) and the birth of the new saiyan munchkins.
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From ANON - jaygoose on March 18, 2004
Goku and Goten are so adorable. Poor Bulla her female Saiyanhood is so being ignored.

I loved how when the smell started Goten just woke up and left with out saying much of anything. I love how the Saiyans don't have to say anything out loud, they just know. So Cool.
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From ANON - Getarian on March 18, 2004
Good chapter! Enjoyed the breakfast scene. Love how when Goku lost the 'battle of the cereal' he turned and pouted to Vegeta. LOL!

Really like the scenes between Bulma and Vegeta, the way it was written spoke of a close, easy friendship. I really loved it though when, once Vegeta handed her a cup of coffee, she moved away to a 'safe' distance before having a conversation with him. LOL! I love the implication, that Goku is still deeply territorial regards his mate and still doesn't fully trust Bulma near him :-)

�What are we going to do with them?� Bulma asked. �You are so not leaving them all with me for two months.�

LOL! Don't blame her one bit...I wouldn't want them for the day...I'd be a wreck :-)

I reallye yoe your portrayal of Gohan...he always seems so long-suffering LOL!

�Where�s breakfast?� he asked.
�At your house,� Vegeta said. LOL!

Like the bit with Bardock having his arm around Trunks' shoulders and chatting away about new moves...it seems that Gogeta's departure just may be the catalyst required to bond the oldest and youngest of Veg's t's two boys :-)

Loved the lemon! Got a particular thrill of pleasure over this:

"Vegeta was there when he opened his eyes, pulling off his gloves and his shirt."

The visual of this scene, for me, was quite lusty :-)

Laughed when Bulma stepped into the room, took in the scene, and then did a 180, saying "she was too old for this" :-)

Love how Goku knows exactly how to get his 'Geta all worked up for just what he wants :-)

"he was very glad that he had made that wish."

Me too! :-)

Definitely looking forward to the next chapter :-)

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From ANON - Luna on March 18, 2004
I feel sympathy for Gogeta.......On the other hand there IS the fact that Goku and Vegeta are going to go through the 'must have lots of sex' stadge somewhere around here. So......Continue!
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From ANON - Aarika on March 17, 2004
aww..i must admit i always had a soft spot in my heart for depressed characters but little gogeta is filling up that entire space! bardock acts so much like vegeta its amazing ;) i think vegeta would have coped the same way bardock did. Also *tiny giggle* i LOVE that you are gonna have trunks and goten together, i must admit they are my favorite couple (goku and vegeta are a close second i promise :) )
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From ANON - Getarian on March 17, 2004
Although this chapter was still sombre in tone, t was was a definite 'moving on' feel to it. Looks like everyone has accepted Gogeta's decision better than I thought they would. Definitely Saiyan!

Bardock's a bright one then :-) I notice that he knew exactly who to seek out to determine Gogeta's location. He seems to have been the hardest hit, dare I say, even more than Goku?

Vegeta seems to have already locked him from his heart...

"...And as he watched the way Vegeta looked at his children, he knew that even if Gogeta came back, he would never get that look again."

This was very moving. Gogeta's reaction must have been a kick in the teeth considering that he was reacting to what he witnessed that day when his 'mother' had died, the fact that he did noare are in his father's and siblings rage must have reeked of betrayal.

Goku's more stoic reaction is, as I would expect from him. But it must hurt to know that one of the children (which he gave up future children for and whom he still loves) just doesn't want to be a part of their lives, simply because they are who they are.

With Bardock, I get the feeling that this is eating at him, and I am more concerned about him than Gogeta at this point.

Loved the bit where Goku picked Bardock up by the tail and whilst Bardock displayed his 'Vegeta' pose...Goku gave him a kiss on the forehead, much to Bardock's supposed disgust. A nice little scene at the end of a melancholy kind of day :-)

�Go to bed,� he said as he left the room, �Your father is going to spar with you tomorrow.�

Don't ask me why, 'cause I can't give a clear reason..but I loved this line :-)

BTW. I couldn't help but notice mention of 'moistness' in your lemon...does this mean that Goku got to keep his added parts? If so...Yay!

Looking forward to the next chapter :-)

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From ANON - Mechanical Butterfly on March 17, 2004
Bardock is a little toughie...and he seems to be very evry saiyajin!

Although I do understand why Bardock feels the way he does about Gogeta...I still can't help but feel sad for him, and I was even more sad when Goku looked at how Vegeta was looking at his kids and he said Gogeta will never be looked at like that again *sobs* Poor Gogeta.

Bardockda sda scaresand impresses me, I like him a lot.
Oh an thanks for the nice lemon is was delicious and when Vegeta 'made his eyes staye open and stared down at his mate' I died, that was beautiful.
^.*
-MB-
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From ANON - jaygoose on March 17, 2004
Yes, the begining was wonderful. I like that out of all of them Bardock still is loyal to Gogeta. He thought he is a whimp. I did tell you how much I loved your explaination as to why he is a whimp. Very creative. I loved that whole family bonding thing too. So very cute.
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