Adult-FanFiction.org : Gundam, Beyblade, DBZ, FMA

Reviews for Even More Of Us

By : CardDragonBall

From ANON - Luna on March 17, 2004
o.o I am NOT good with figuring things out. I'm simple. Sooooo Gogeta died?o.o Or rn away or something?o.o; Continue(Sex in next chapter)
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From ANON - Aarika on March 16, 2004
i had to read this chap REALLY quick but omisomise i'll come back and reread it later..aww i cant believe gogeta left..everybody else seems to be handling it okay though...
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From ANON - jaygoose on March 16, 2004
Well didn't that just explain everything all nice and neatly. You're good. Oh and I love how even as a little kid Goten is showing female tendencies. He...He...
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From ANON - Mechanical Butterfly on March 16, 2004
Very sad chapter...
So little Gogeta left, how sad. It was well described how Goku woke up and just let him go, understanding in a way.
Then Vegeta when he says "Left" and points to the door...adorable

Yes peaceful saiyajins that is a strange thing, alsoghtlghtly unnerving.
I can't wait to see what is going to happen.

I also loved the trilling and purring...how they comfort each other with out words.
You never cease to amaze me.
I can only hope that thing get better for these saiyajins...
^.*
-MB-
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From ANON - Getarian on March 16, 2004
A very sad chapter...So Gogeta wasn't born with the Saiyan instinct for fighting, and therefore was a happy little trooper, until he saw the raw, savage rage, which could be produced by his family...interesting twist...pacifist Saiyans.

Feel bad for Bardock, he has a sense of responsibility to keep his siblings together, but he is pure Saiyan and just doesn't understand his brother. I wonder if he is feeling inadequate in his duties? It would explain part of his anger at his brother, the rest would come from simply not understanding his brother's lack of pride in his heritage...this is a very good addition to a Saiyan tale, as Gogeta's feelings and Bardock's confusion and anger are something that we could find many analogies for in human society...nice touch :-)

Loved the whole everyone getting up, acknowledging that Gogeta was gone, not commenting on it and then Vegeta comes in, notices that Gogeta is not there and when informed that he had left:

"�Left?� Vegeta narrowed his eyes, looked directly at Goku and then pointed outside."

Loved this. Totally saw Vegeta doing this! So much said in a single action...very well expressed :-)

Loved the scenes that followed. Particularly t

�Why aren�t we finding him?�

I tend to agree with Vegeta on this one - they should have gone after him. The idea of everyone just accepting that he's gone and of Vegeta no longer acknowledging him...is sad. Something tells me that this has hit Vegeta harder than anyone realises, I guess he's just been too well conditioned to respond any other way.

I loved the end bit where Goku stood next to Vegeta and purred and Vegeta trilled in response - the way they were comforting each other - so touching.

Poor Goku not only giving up future children, but losing one of the ones that he gave those children up for.

"...Because they understood that he was not a part of them anymore." Sad :-(

Well written...this one truly touched me. I see you can do angst as well as you do humour and lemons :-)

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From ANON - Luna on March 16, 2004
Yes, please do have sex like horny teenagers Goku and Veggie.
Continue.
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From ANON - CrazyGurl on March 16, 2004
Thats sad no more babies, but at least they get to have lotsa sex w/ out worrying about babies being made! there is a plus to everything!
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From ANON - tatoosh on March 15, 2004
OKay you were not as horrible as you could have been. At least Goku and Vegeta still get the last two babies. But still what will the price be to restore the next children to die of not natural causes? Or is the loss of fertility paying for the validity of the existing kids lives?

Vegeta cheering up his mate was very in character. I enjoyed the whole not having a clue as to what could be running through Goku's mind too.
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From ANON - pixydust on March 15, 2004
i have a question.......if the babies will be just 4 years younger then the older kids and 3 years younger then trunks and goten.....why were their voices the "little voices" when trunks went back to the future in chap 5 and stayed there? oh well, i thought it was saat tat the dragon took away goku's ability to have even more children but he'd be happy as long as his own kids have lots and he's surrounded with babies without the extra work :)
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From ANON - Aarika on March 15, 2004
my god i nearly started to cry wen that damn android killed gogeta...but everythings okay now. oh and i nearly had a heartattack when the dragon said he was going to take the rest of the children goku hasnt had yet- i thought he was going to take the two babies in goku already. phew then back to the good old sex scenes! cant wait for the next chapter!
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From ANON - Getarian on March 15, 2004
Review for Chapter 8

"�Being dead was boring,� Bardock informed him. �There was a big fat guy at this desk. And a huge line.�

LOL! Don't you just hate queue's? :-)

Damn, I love Vegeta with his kids :-) Love how he grabbed Bardock's tail before flying off to the others...it always comes across as affecionate...in a parental way.

"(Sometimes he wondered just where she always kept this stuff she seemed to pull out of nowhere, because he had been in this lab before and never seen any IV fluids.)"

LOL! The magic of fanfiction :-)

Ah, so Gogeta's problem was an allergy?...that's a relief, that can hopefully be seen to and it's way better than a psychological trauma.

Have I mentioned how I love Vegeta with his kids? :-)

"And then, Vegeta grabbed Kakarot by the tail and dragged him out of the room."

LOL! Vegeta seems to have a tail fetish... It's gotta be some sort of dominance thing... cute :-)

"No more babies."

Ah, poor Goku...he's really taking this hard :-(

"Let someone else do the really hard part."

*chuckle* The joys of grandparenting. According to my parents...way better than parenting...all the fun, none of the fuss :-)

Vegeta did a wonderful job of lifting Goku's sagging spirits. The man is truly a Prince :-)

Another wonderful lemon...how I love them...but, I don't want Goku to lose his female parts...can't the dragon just make him barren? I've gotten use the them being like this in this fic.

This isn't the end is it?

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From ANON - Getarian on March 15, 2004
Review for Chapter 7

I just love how the littlies all group together when one or other of them is not well. Takashi was just a sweetie with Gogeta :-)

�What did I tell you about my children?� was the question. �Why don�t any of you ever fucking listen?�

I know this is not typically 'Goku speak' but I really liked it. I can actually imagine him speaking lthisthis in true anger...after all, living with Vegeta...somethings got to rub off :-)

Loved Bulla with Gohan. Especially with the crocodile incident. LOL!

"Well, wasn�t he getting all judgmental and picky about his wish-granting."

LOL! I have to admit, my first reaction was...well why the hell did the dragon allow Goku's first wish if these kiddies were not meant to be and then as I thought about it a bit more, I thought that maybe it was okay for them to have the kids, but resurrection would probably be a no-no, hence the need for a price...nice twist!

Poor Goku though, this has hit him hard, but he definitely made the right decision.

Err, I must confess I cheated and took a quick peek at the next chapter 'cause I was scared about the two he was carrying - I was pleased to see that he at least gets to keep them. :-)

"Vegeta: Where am I?"
"Vegeta: Did any one else no tha that I wasn�t even mentioned in this chapter?"

LOL! Yes! I noticed. Missed ya Vegeta :-)

"Poor �Geta, though, because every time he powers up now he�ll have a part of that rage he triggered when Goku died."

Oh, I didn't realise that. Bugger
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From ANON - jaygoose on March 15, 2004
Well, after Vegeta's little speech I also real a lot better. You know I had forgotten that the guys were that old. Hmm. Damned Saiyans.
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From ANON - Luna on March 15, 2004
Dragonballs make it all better eh?*raises eyebrow*No more children....O.O;;;;
;_;
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From ANON - tatoosh on March 14, 2004
That was a horrible thing to do. Why give him the power to have children if they were never meant to be. Stupid dragon.
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