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Reviews for Heavy Bond

By : chayron
  • From ANON - darkserapha on February 23, 2007
    Awr damn. Now you made me all mushy. It's so relieving to see Vegeta finally admitting he cares for Kakarott. I still would like to see him punished for what he did though, I think Velari went too easy on him. *laughs* What you said about love triangles and the reluctance concerning anyone come between the main pairing, you're so right. However, though I am an avid Vegeta/Kakarott-fan, I love what you do with Velari and how you build this all up. It's really beautiful. As for Xe.. heh, you might be pleased then to hear that she just recommended your story on her lj. *smiles* http://xero-sky.livejournal.com/
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  • From ANON - Webtester01 on February 23, 2007
    Well now is seems we are over one mountain. I get the feeling there is another coming. Anyway I really like how Vegeta is finally doing what he can to mend the current situation with Kakarott. Great job.
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  • From ANON - Guice on February 22, 2007
    Awwwwwwww, Vegeta wants some ass... how sweet. I always like the little fights the brothers have, makes me miss home. Well, we never kneed eachother in the balls but the fights did get intense.

    I really enjoyed Bardocks segments. I can see his eyes all wide with anger waving a lil' chibi fist in the air telling Vegeta to watch it... good times. This chapter was good, but Vegeta liking Kakarott(sp) happened a little to fast for me... but then again I was probly hoping you would just make Velari run away with goku. Which brings me to my next subject, I forgot who it was but someone said they hated velari because he was a dick or something and Vegeta was the good one (pre-Vegeta liking Goku) I fumed. their opinion though, Just watch out for some people, they may flame him loads upon loads.

    Well i got to go. My email should be on its way. Have fun doing work XD!

    guice
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  • From kitkit on February 22, 2007
    man this story makes me feel sorry for kakarott
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  • From ANON - Tristalynn/TristaML on February 22, 2007
    YAY!! Finally, Vegeta got to say his peace and do what he need to do- SWEET! hm, is bardock going to get with Velari because he believes he's the better man of the family? sorry, i can't help but speculate on the situation. I love this and I'm SO happy with what's going on at the moment, i cannot wait for the next chapter to come out! HURRY
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  • From ANON - bunnicle on February 21, 2007
    oh, I am so loving this story so far! I wonder how they're gonna keep that whole Velari and Kakarott sex scene from Vegeta. I cannot wait for the next chapter! please update soon!
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  • From ANON - kuroineko on February 20, 2007
    Hey, that was a NICE chapter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SMUTTY SEX!
    But Vegeta will be reeeeeealy pissed when he´ll find out.
    That´s gonna be very promising.
    I wait impatiently for the next chapter.

    kuroineko
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  • From ANON - Guice on February 18, 2007
    Wow... that was very hot. I really liked the turn of events... well things were pointing to it, but the sex was just amazing(acting as if it were me). Everything was described perfectly. I was actually expecting Vegeta to bust in there and beat Velari to near death and then take Goku, but then again he was getting yelled at. Ahh, a pissed off Bardock, nothing sexier. Things I get away with for being gay... well I might just have to email you those things. Well anyways great job on this chpater, oh and I was wondering what happened to D&Y but that was cleared up so thanks.

    Your country raised friend,
    Guice
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  • From ANON - Jack541 on February 17, 2007
    really good story, well written ... i really like the plot up to now ... tho didnt like kakarotts first time not being with vegeta .. just seems wrong .. :( . hopefully will get better .. great story .. update asap! :)
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  • From kitkit on February 16, 2007
    wow very hot..i have been waiting for velari to do what his brother wont do
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  • From ANON - Irol on February 16, 2007
    well it seems taht Vegeta has finally come to his bloody senses....too late now though. Velari got there first....so twisted! i love it!
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  • From ANON - darkserapha on February 16, 2007
    Another very nice chapter. I didn't expect Velari to be the one to take Kakarott's virginity. Interesting, I'm curious how Vegeta will react. *snickers* Actually, you're bringing up some very valid points considering the name-issue. You're right - it's annyoing as well to have every subject replaced by strange synonyms. One of the weirdest ones I've ever seen in a fic was "the lilac-haired man from the future" as a synonym for Mirai Trunks. *shudders* I think, as with most things especially in writing, moderation does the trick. Using names, pronouns and a few simple synonyms in varied constellations is probably the best way to go. My personal writing-goddess in that and many other regards is Xero-Sky - you probably know her work. She's got the flow of the text perfectly in sync with the athmosphere and the action. Anyways, I'm rambling. Please do continue - I'm looking forward to seeing this story progress.
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  • From ANON - kit-kit on February 13, 2007
    wow norhing is ever easy for kakarott
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  • From ANON - kuroineko on February 13, 2007
    Hello chayron,
    yesssss, that was a good start for the smutty sex and for Vegeta to get a nice thrashing. ^^
    This new events are very interesting, Vegeta didn´t do anything against Kakarott when provoked. Maybe he warmed up to him at least?
    And I would like to read more about Vegeta´s history, in this story there is no Freaser, right? So there had to be something, or is he an ass by nature? (he, he?)

    kuroineko
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  • From ANON - darkserapha on February 13, 2007
    I'm very fond of this story. One thing you might want to keep an eye on is the heavy use of names as subject of a sentence. I.e. "“Wrap your tail back,” Velari noted softly. He noticed Kakarott’s face heat up, then the tail came to wrap back tightly around Kakarott’s torso. Kakarott quickly sat down, squirming uncomfortably." Thise seems as if there are three different persons present, all named Kakarott, who are all separately doing these things. Much better would be: "“Wrap your tail back,” Velari noted softly. He noticed Kakarott’s face heat up, then the tail came to wrap back tightly around the younger saiyan’s torso. He quickly sat down, squirming uncomfortably." Can you see the difference? I find it to be slightly annoying to read the same name more than once in one sentence or too often in a row of sentences. Other than that I really enjoy this story though, and I'm looking very much forward to how Vegeta will react to the new situation. I just love a bit of Kakarott-torturing.. *smiles*
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