The Spaces In Between

BY : ct_sama
Category: Dragon Ball Z > Yaoi - Male/Male
Dragon prints: 3870
Disclaimer: I do not own Dragonball, Dragonball Z, Dragonball Super, Resurrection 'F', or Battle of Gods or the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

A series of moments from the larger Atavism story, but can be read and hopefully enjoyed without having read Atavism.  These smaller stories wouldn’t fit properly into Atavism, but flesh out the story.  These will hop around in time, and will only be posted as complete, stand-alone pieces (WsIP), ranging from the sweet to the serious.  I’ll add story warnings as the relevant chapters are posted.


Let’s start this off short and sweet.  (For Atavism context, takes place on Beerus' Planet sometime between Vegeta's achieving Super Saiyan Blue and Beerus' awakening).


Just Say It


“Vegeta… Hey.  Just answer me.”


“No.  Go away.”


Vegeta’s eye twitched as Goku sighed heavily for the seventh time in the last five minutes.  He refused to turn from the desk though his distracting mate had held him stuck on the same paragraph for the last ten minutes.  He heard Goku shifting on the couch behind him, probably settling into a more comfortable position to stare sadly into the back of his head over the rise of the couch.  “It’s not going to work you sad-sack,” Vegeta growled.  “As big as Beerus’ Planet is can’t you find something to do besides irritate me?!  If you wouldn’t mind I’d like to finish this book before Whis calls us for training again!”


“C’mon Vegeta!  I promise to let you finish reading if you answer me.”


“I said no, now drop it!”


Goku’s only response was to drop his head into his hand and return to his pouting.  Vegeta tried to ignore him, returning to the same paragraph he’d been trying to read since this all started.


Another deep sigh.


“Oh, for-  Fucking, just… fine!” Vegeta yelled, turning in time to see Goku smother a smug smile.  “You wish to know why I don’t tell you I love you, is that it?”


The smugness quickly died and Goku nodded sadly.  “I tell you that, all the time.  And you never say it back.”


Despite the continual aggravation Vegeta felt a twinge of conscience.  Vegeta turned back to the desk again, giving a heavy sigh of his own.  “I understand what that word means to you so when you say it… it means something to me too.  But you have to understand, I never ran into such a concept until I began living on Earth.  In Freeza’s world, forget it.  Having feelings for another person was a liability to both.”


“What about our people?  I get that mating wasn’t common but it happened.  The ones who did it had to love each other very much, right?”


“Not exactly.  In our language there’s no equivalent word or idea.  The word we use means to care deeply for someone, and the actions attached mean far more than the words themselves.”


“So… that’s it?  I guess I just don’t understand.  It sounds like the same thing.”


“Not to me it doesn’t.”  Goku noticed Vegeta beginning to fiddle with the corners of the book as his discomfort grew.  “We are a warrior race.  To care for someone else means to put their well-being above your own.  To see to their wounds before you see to your own, to make sure they have enough to eat before you begin eating yourself.  To stand between then and any enemy no matter how strong, no matter the cost.  To be willing to die for them.  It is no small thing, Kakarot.”


“Oh.”  Goku thought about the differences between their understanding that so strongly defined them.  He had been the first to discover the secret of ‘Vegeta language’ many, many years ago: with very few exceptions it was Vegeta’s  actions told the real story, not his harsh words.  Still…  


“What you’re describing isn’t exactly the same as how I see things, but it’s close.  Can’t you just say it?”


“No!”  Vegeta made a growling sound of frustration, pinching the bridge of his nose for a moment before trying again.  “This would be easier with one of Earth’s other languages that define specific types of love, at least I understand the concept a little better with those.  Okay, look, Bulma says she loves our son; I know she would die for him without hesitation.


“But she also says she loves chocolate.  And a purse that she bought but threw away two days later.  Krillin says he loves his wife.  But he also says he loves his job and peanut M&M’s.  How can all those feelings be the same fucking word?  And Chi-Chi-  Never mind, this is stupid.”


“No!” Goku said sitting up, instantly feeling from Vegeta that she was the real root of the problem.  “What does she have to do with anything?”


Vegeta began to backpedal but Goku wasn’t having it.  “Vegeta.  Talk.”


“...Fine,” Vegeta finally said quietly.  “She would come over to talk to the Woman sometimes after you died.  It was all tears and sadness at first.  She talked about how much she loved you, how much she missed you.”


“I didn’t know that,” Goku said softly.


At that Vegeta snorted.  “Yeah, before you get all misty remember I said ‘at first.’  After a month or two the tears dried up.  A year later ‘I loved him so much’ dried up too.  Two years later she went on a date and came to prattle at the Woman all about the fun she had.”


Goku chuckled, thinking Vegeta was just being silly.  “Vegeta, that’s normal!  She grieved and she moved on like she was supposed to do, hell, I wouldn’t have blamed her if she hadn’t waited even that long.  It doesn’t mean she didn’t love me!”


To his surprise Vegeta whirled on him angrily.  “Yes, it does!  How could she go out, have fun?!  How could she go a day without thinking of you, a night without dreaming of you?  How could she even look at another person, feel anything but pain with you gone if she truly ‘loved’ you!?”


By the end of it Vegeta was standing by his toppled chair, his fist twisted in his shirt right over his heart.  He realized how sadly Goku was looking at him and what he was doing.  Vegeta dropped his hand, righted the chair and thumped heavily into it, turning back to the desk with a growl born of frustration and embarrassment.


Sadly, slowly Goku climbed over to sit on the back of the couch.  He reached out and wrapped his arms around Vegeta’s shoulders from behind, draping himself over the smaller man and feeling some of the tension ease out of him.  “How could she have loved me if she wasn’t torn up inside.  The way you were.  Oh, Vegeta…”


“It’s nothing.  Stop blaming yourself.  Neither one of us knew about the bond between us.”


“But I had part of you with me, I didn’t suffer the way you did.  If I had known I would have come back for you, Vegeta.  I never, ever would have left you in that much pain.”


“It’s not like that was your fault.  Stop feeling sorry for me.  I survived.”


“Yeah, but surviving was all you could do, wasn’t it?”


“It started slow,” Vegeta said hesitantly, still not looking at him.  “But the longer you were gone the worse it got.  I thought it was because I was the last Saiyan left, that there was just something wrong with me.  Kakarot… if her feelings passed as ‘love’ I want no part of it.  I will… say it.  If it makes you feel good.  But that word isn’t something I understand, and it truly does not reflect what you mean to me.”


“No, I get it now.  But I just realized something.  You say you care for me a lot.  I’ve even heard you even tell other people that.  I just didn’t know that’s what you meant.  You’ve really been saying it all along!  I think that can be enough for me.”


“No, it can’t.  You already know how I feel about you,” Vegeta said, pushing free of Goku’s embrace and turning to face him finally.  “The way we’re connected you can experience it directly whenever you want, no ambiguous words required.  What you really want is some kind of verbal PDA, something others can hear and understand as well so that when we go back home they’ll see how different I am with you, how special you are to me.  Am I right?”


Goku had the good grace to blush, scratching the back of his head with a sheepish laugh.  “Umm…  Maybe?  I guess it’s pretty stupid…”


Looking at the color rising on Goku’s face, his honestly flustered expression Vegeta couldn’t suppress a smile.  ‘No grown man should be allowed to be that fucking cute,’ he thought.  But Goku being cute was nice.  Goku happy was magnificent, and meant all was right with the universe.  And he could make Goku happy.


“What if I were to try to think of… something suitable to do,” Vegeta said after a long moment of thought.  “For you, my Kakarot.  So all will know that you belong to me, and all will know how deeply I care for you.  Would that please you?”


Goku brightened instantly and Vegeta’s heart warmed.  ‘There.  Much better,’ he thought.  “Good, I’m glad we cleared that up.  Now leave me alone,” he said, turning back to the desk and his book.


Or at least, he tried to.


“Nope.  I’ve got something else in mind for you right now.”  Goku grabbed him by the arm and began dragging him toward the bedroom.  “Why do you insist on not being naked at all times?  Strip!”


“Let go of me if you want me to get undr-  Ah!  …Or you could just shred them.  Gee, thanks.”


“Oh, shut up.  Bulma packed you more than enough jumpsuits.”

“At the rate you’re ripping them off me I’m still going to run out!”  Vegeta protested, sounding somewhat less than upset as Goku easily pitched him onto the bed.


“Exactly.  Wouldn’t it be easier for you to just stop wearing clothes?”


“…I hate you so much.”


“If you meant that you’d be fighting me!  Have I told you today that I love it when you’re naked?” Goku said happily sliding up Vegeta’s body in a way that made him shiver a little in anticipation.


“Gods, I’m never going to finish my book, am I?”


“Nope!  But…”  He found one of the most sensitive spots on Vegeta’s body, licking a nipple before worrying it between his teeth.  What was that book about anyway?


“I don’t fucking remember,” Vegeta gasped, arching into the contact.



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