Adult-FanFiction.org : Gundam, Beyblade, DBZ, FMA

Reviews for More of Us

By : CardDragonBall

From ANON - Blue Siren on March 23, 2004
I read Chapters 1-7 in one sitting, and even though I have never liked male pregnancie fics, I could not stop reading this one (I only did to review and to get my ass to do some chores) I love this! It is creative, funny and very addicting to read, I must say that I cannot wait to finish reading this one so I can start on the sequel...Keep up with the exellent creative work^^

Blue Siren
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From ANON - K-GT on March 10, 2004
no!!!! Vegeta can't be evil! what happend? I love veggie-chan! more you need to write more!
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From ANON - CrazyGurl on March 10, 2004
I can't believe it's over, but theres a sequel so I'm not sad. That was great!on'on't think I have ever know anyone to finish a fic this fast!
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From ANON - Aarika on March 08, 2004
lmao! poor yamcha!! i still wanna see how you manage to wriggle trunks and goten into this story. :)
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From ANON - jaygoose on March 08, 2004
That was it? Whaaaaaaaaa! Oh, well, it was a great fic. But all good things must come to a end. ON TO THE NEXT ONE! *runs off all enthusiactic and shit*
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From ANON - Luna on March 08, 2004
Intresting turn of events....why pray tell will Vegeta turn evil?Awww well this gives me some very intresting...thoughts...../snickers*hurry up with the sequel!
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From ANON - Getarian on March 08, 2004
Bonus! Two chapters :-) A wonderful chapter of baby first's, parents proud declarations and hot Saiyan sex.

Laughed at Goku trying to tell Yamcha about Bulla's ki blast, and Yamcha sort of listening, whilst trying to back off - carefully. LOL Gods. I can still picture it...I don't think I'm ever going to see the characters the same way ever again :-)

Vegeta was so wonderful with Bulma at the hospital, I liked that...His brief kiss to her forehead and then "You did good" and feeling a softening in his emotions towards her. Sigh...so sweet.

Goku and ChiChi was a sad but sort of tender scene with just a touch of the acerbic that we associate with Chi...I'm glad she was able to move on.

Laughed at the quiet, whispering scene in the kitchen as they all ate as soundlessly as possible - a near impossibility for Goku, but he managed it - those kids must be driving them all insane by now. LOL

Could actually visualise Vegeta insanely shouting FREE FREE as he whirled through the air, the only problem is, in my head, he morphed back into early Vegeta, who had laughed insanely at the others when he was wished back from Namek. LOL

Pleased to see that the Hyperbolic Time Chamber was put to thoroughly good use ;-)

I loved all of the next chapter as well, but the thatthat really got to me, was Vegeta's fears about losing Goku and his thoughts about how he wasn't going to let that happen, followed by one of the best love scenes I've ever read...Very, very touching.

Oh, and the teaser at the end! What a cliffhanger! Does this mean that we lose Goku along the way?...Nooooo! They were so happy together. Wait a minute, Trunks' future changed...oh, what's happening? I need to know...okay, I'll be quiet and wait patiently.

"Vegeta: Hn. Finally I rule the world." LOL. Yeah, you go Vegeta!

Don't feel bad about missing an update - you update at a wonderful rate, and, of course we're not going to murder you, ya big silly, after all, if we did that, who would write the story? ;-)
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From ANON - Mechanical Butterfly on March 07, 2004
-_- I just left a review...and it didn't post it...WHY??????
Well anyway heres the gist of what I said:

NO!!!!! It's over????? WHY?????? How could you end it like that????? WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN WITH VEGETA!!!!!????? TELL ME!!!!!! You know I can't handle this...the waiting, the wondering... *pulls hair* HURRY PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok other than that evil cliff hanger...awesome work! I love Vegeta in this story, and I know I have said that multiple times, but I do...His protectiveness over his mate, and the way you describe his feelings...so nice.

�Well,� Vegeta said as he caught a flying sippy cup that had been aimed exactly at his head, that was so funny, and very cute!

Vegeta highly doubted they had �volunteered� for the job, rofl, I agree w/ Vegeta on that one!

and when Bulla blsted Trunks and he says great beaten by a girl...that was hilarious!

but keep up the great work!!!!
^.*
-MB-
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From ANON - Hecate18 on March 07, 2004
I'm actually reviewing on time, ITS A MIRACLE!!!

I thought that chap was so cute, just adorable. I loved the way Vegeta took care of Goku, and the way he was with the new borns... awwwww!

'Painfully, because his butt really did hurt a lot' - I feel sorry for Goku, but that really made me laugh... mean aren't I! And those bits at the end, after the chap with Goku and 'Geta make me laugh sooo much!

I always finish reading the chaps with a smile on my face... Or rolling on the floor laughing!
As always I'm looking forward to the next chap. In fact I'll be checking every five minutes... then I'll go to sleep, wake up, go to college... but as soon as I come back I'll check again... (Or I'll probably take a sneak peak at college. ^_^)

I'm babling again aren't I, I think I ate too much sugar U_U;
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From ANON - Luna on March 07, 2004
*grins*and enter trunks and goten!Ya really got to love those two.And you haven't written any????*gasp*I couldn't even tell.Your very good.Continue.
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From ANON - Getarian on March 07, 2004
Oh wow! Vegeta chose Takashi. I can't believe how eed Ied I got when I saw that. Thank-you Card, I feel deeply honoured :-)

I loved Bulma's sarcasm in the opening dialogue with Vegeta. So Bulma :-)

Vegeta's territorial instincts really warm me. I love him like this. He is so tender with Goku, so caring. I loved the bath scene.

If "GET OUT" is Vegeta's idea of being polite, then I really wouldn't want to piss off the man. LOL

I love Gohan in this! His sighing and then: �I�m going to go back to Piccolw.� w.� Cracked me up :-)

This story is shaping up so nicely, I never want it or 'Hormone Therapy' to end...Well, I naturally want them to have an ending, but I'm dreading the day when that happens. These two stories really brighten up my day :-)

BTW: I always love the little dialogue at the end of the chapter, but this one was especially amusing. The two Saiyans comparing butt pains. ROTFL!
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From ANON - jaygoose on March 06, 2004
Awww! That was soo cute. I guess that Gohan couldn't take so many screamers at one time. Can't say that I blame him. *Sigh* And yes of course MB did read my review and promptly went on to threaten my life. :) Makes me feel special. Too bad it'll be one or two chapters before anything is revealed. He He. I am so evil. Oh and thanks for reviewing my fic. I need all the help I can get. ;)
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From ANON - Mechancial Butterfly on March 06, 2004
Wonderful chapter...I love Vegeta in this. It's so cute how he is so protective for Goku and while bulma is doing all of the stuff...he thinks that is Kakarott's right b/c he is the mother. *sighs* I just love daddy Vegeta. I thought for sure someone was going to get mad at Gohan when Bardock was only hanging by his tail from Gohan...phew...I'm glad no one did.

Poor Goku's bottom. I would love to really see Vegeta carry Goku, I don't think he ever has. I remember when he had the heart virus he kicked him to Piccolo...*shakes head* that was soooo mean! Although you think the chapter was short it didn't lack a thing it was still terrific!!!

YAY!!!! Your reading my ficcie!!!! and yeah it's called Malicious, that's my fave onat Iat I am writing. ^.^ I hope you enjoy it!
JayGoose-why yes I did read your review and I left you review on your Kalika story. *shakes fist at you* Darn you for making me wonder who is going to be pregnant and who is going to have a baby x_X Yoow mow my brain can't handle these things...I will be thinking about it forever!

So your going to skip ahead to the births of Goten and Trunks? Yay!!! I wonder how all these babies and parents will interact w/ each other...
^.*
-MB-
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From ANON - Luna on March 06, 2004
That was good.Keep writingove ove trunks/goten (Mirai or Chibi it doesn't matter)^^ anyway continue.
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From ANON - Getarian on March 06, 2004
Thank-you for going back over that paragraph for me, I apprec it it and your explanation. The paragraph now reads so much better for me, sorry for my paranoia.

Ah, I love how Bulma loves little Trunksie already :-)

Oh, I so love panicky Vegeta...he is so caring and loving.

Poor Goku, he's now realising that he's growing breasts...bonus for Vegeta, but not much fun for the world's strongest. Still, the next time he's in a fight if he starts to lose, he can always flash them...sorry, warped sense of humour, sometimes.

Ah Goku ya big meanie, let Vegeta look after you.

"Joy. Vegeta thought dryly." ROTFL! Absolutely loved this!

I loved the whole birthing scene, so wonderful...from Goku's panic to Vegeta's pride. Then when Goku told Vegeta to purr and he trilled. I could picture the scene so well. Evocative!

More :-)

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