Adult-FanFiction.org : Gundam, Beyblade, DBZ, FMA

Reviews for Cross-Eyed

By : CardDragonBall

From Lici on June 27, 2007
I have been laughing so hard I fell out of my chair. I think my brother doesn't want to know why anymore after the last time he asked...
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From Lenora on May 07, 2004
Do you love me??? Gave you 1000 hits. lol well, 1now.now. See ya on monday!!!
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From ANON - macha on April 18, 2004
I realise that you are done with this story, but I thought that I would let you know that it was very good. I liked the part where you had the twins saving themselves. That was cool. Now on to your next saga. I seem to have a lot of catching up to do.
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From ANON - Sierrecat on March 19, 2004
Hey, I don't know what it is about male/male dbz lemons that makes them so fascinating to read, but ur story is one of the best i have read in a long time. when i had to restart my computer, i couldn't wait to get back online and finish reading it. I hope there is more to come.

A new fan,

Sierrecat :>
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From ANON - Mechanical Butterfly on March 19, 2004
The End? Awww
Well thanks for such a great fic. I am happy all is good and well and the twins and Trunks got to go back to a normal future and also play a very funny game of guess Frieza's gender! I love that. And awww lil Vegeta had to put his baby brother to sleep, how cute.
Well it was a great story! I enjoyed reading it!
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From ANON - jaygoose on March 18, 2004
So that's the end huh? Ah, well I don't know if I could have taken anymore of Gina anyway...Hmm...It's just wierd reading hetro stuff now :)

So Goku and Geta had aer ber boy huh, I guess that's cool. They did name him Bardock...That's always cool.
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From ANON - Getarian on March 18, 2004
Really enjoyed this cer!
er!

Loved how Trunks got into the whole 'Freiza was a girl' argument. :-)

Really enjoyed the whole arriving home scene. From the flicking on of the lights to Vegeta shoving the baby in young Vegeta's hands demanding that he get him back to sleep, and then turned and stormed back in the house, and Goku's grinning explanation of how they'd just got the baby to sleep, before he too walked back inside. I really love the way you write scenes, I can always picture them so well, sometimes I can hear and smell them too - and no I'm not insane - I know what I mean...I'm just not sure that I'm articulating my thoughts too well :-)

I love how Vegeta is with Gina...he is so totally smitten. She's going to be a good addition to that crazy Saiyan household :-)

Now this Trunks is a real cutie - I like him and I'm so glad that he's in such a wonderful world and is now surrounded by family :-)

"Trunks had never been so grateful for being born with a nice ass in all his life."

LOL! He can definitely thank his father for that - genetics can sometimes yield such wonderful things :-)

�Trust me,� Goten said, �Nobody on earth will be passing us by.�

*chuckle* Can't imagine why not...Four battle crazy Saiyans, 20 Dogs and *possibly* a mad scientist... LOL!

Really like the fact that Trunks and Vegeta are becoming friends :-)

Sorry to see it end, but it was a happy one, so I'm happy :-)

Once again...thanks for the wonderful journey :-)

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From ANON - Getarian on March 17, 2004
Always enjoy a peek into the twins world :-)

Poor Trunks, I actually feel his semi-detached confusion. Imagine a lifetime spent in the presence of the twins :-) He's never going to be sane again. LOL

I really like the way Vegeta is with Goten, he really is the 'carer' of the two isn't he?

"�So we�re dead?� Vegeta doubted this. But he was willing to listen to the rest of the stupid explanation."

LOL! I did enjoy this :-)

Okay! The truth about the ice-cave. I really like this somewhat paradoxical explanation. The idea that the twins couldn't go back to their own time until they saved the younger versions of themselves is somewhat nifty :-)

Would still like to know who the hell the ice beings were though. :-)

"...Because there was a very small list of things their parents hadn�t told them. (Those things being what their Mom had managed to keep their father from saying about their sex life.)"

LOL! Can just see these moments so clearly in my head :-)

"Mom smacked him upside his head and Vegeta punched him in the gut. �Stupid ass!� they said together." LOL!

"I heard so many good things about�er� Actually. Well; I heard that you had a very nice ass."

LOL! I enjoyed this and the follow up stuff also but this really cracked me up :-)

Really enjoyed this chapter...looking forward to the next one. :-)

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From ANON - Mechanical Butterfly on March 17, 2004
Those opening paragraphs with Trunks thinking...are very touching...very sad. I loved that we got to know what he thought and how feels, and how he feels awful that he couldn't have just saved his world on his own...but then again he would have never met Goten.

Trunks just stood there. Realizing that he was part of that bond between them now. Felt outside of it. Didn�t feel much of anything. --Trunks makes me so sad.

�Look,� Goten said, blowing smoke out of his mouth, �I�m like a smoke stack.�--GAH!!! ROFL poor guy

Vegeta was busily scrubbing his arms still. �You�re the only one that finds that amusing.�--Actually I found that to be quite amusing ^.^

And then as the skin started to heal even more rapidly than it already was, Mom smacked him upside his head and Vegeta punched him in the gut. �Stupid ass!� they said together.--rofl very cute...loved that

And I liked the whole ice cave thing, thought it was very creative. I don't see why more ppl dont read this, it's great!
^.*
-MB-

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From ANON - jaygoose on March 17, 2004
-And then as the skin started to heal even more rapidly than it already was, Mom smacked him upside his head and Vegeta punched him in the gut. �Stupid ass!� they said together.-

Mother/Sonded ded ass whippings have to be the best huh?

-Meanwhile, Dad was chattering at Trunks good-naturedly. �Oh, so you�re Trunks. I heard so many good things about�er� Actually. Well; I heard that you had a very nice ass. But I�m glad you decided to mate. I like it. Lots of sex.�

�DAD!� the Twins shouted as Mom roared: �KAKAROT!�-

The silly Goku, always with the sex.

Those by far had to be the best parts of the story. I like how you handled the ice cave thing. I can't say that I blame you. I do it all the time in mine. If you explained everything all the time the story would become ginormous. The readers might be a little peeved at first but I think that they come to realize that what you didn't explain was not as important as they thought it was. What was important was what you did tell them.

Oh i also loved when Trunks asked if Goten told everyone about his ass and Goten said that Trunks's ass was world famous. A hoot!

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From ANON - jaygoose on March 16, 2004
Things are getting better and better. Well, not then part where Goten is risking his life to kill 18. But the part where he accidently mated with Trunks was cool. I thought that was whappenppened at the end of the last chapter. I mean but we all saw that coming from a mile away.

I decided to wait patiently to find out what happened in the cave. But if this story ends and I still don't know...Let's just say I will be a tad irritated. Just kidding I know that you have your reasons. Oh...I see a new ficy. *does excited dance...aka The Dance of A Thousand Idiots* Bye!
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From ANON - Getarian on March 16, 2004
Okay, loved this chapter...definitely glad I read this after the sadder ones :-)

Loved the scenes where Vegeta tells Goten to test out if he truly is mated with Trunks. Loved the little trip down memory lane this provided me :-)

Isn't Goten a spoilsport then? Vegeta was planning on having so much fun too. LOL!

"�You don�t have to listen to Geta,� he said. And Trunks stopped hopping."

"Hours of amusement were just lost." LOL!

My favourite part though, was the same scenes from Trunks' perspective. I loved his baffled attempts to understand the twins, but most of all, I loved how he was adamant in his own mind that he wasn't going to touch his nose or hop on one leg and then his amazed annoyance at doing just those things:

"Now Trunks that was the stupid thing he had ever heard and he certainly was� Well, he apparently was going to do it, because his finger was on his nose. Why?"

"Trunks thought vindictively that he was definitely not going to do� Dammit!"

LOL! Funny stuff!

Something has just occurred to me - somewhat belatedly I know - but, does Trunks know who the twins parents are? I would have thought that their looks and Vegeta's name would be a give away - not to mention that they are obviously Saiyan, but he doesn't act like he knows...s'm 'm curious...does he?

Yes! About time the twins took out the androids...sad that Bulma and the little boy had to die before they did it though.

"Didn�t really mind it that much, because Vegeta would catch him. Or Trunks. Someone. They always did."

Hmmm, this would explain why Goten is such a hot head, he has total faith in those close to him, which is nice...I wonder why Vegeta doesn't? I'm getting more and more curious about that ice cave and it's link to why they can't return home.

"Thought of his father and his mother. Of his baby brother."

Yeah! Vegeta and Goku had another baby :-)

An enjoyable chapter...and intriguing :-)

Looking forward to the nene.
ne.

"Please ignore my little grr. Moment."

Already done...I wasn't upset or anything...I actually felt bad, because you are always so prompt - lt llt like I was letting you down...so I'm okay with your little grrr moment :-)
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From ANON - Mechanical Butterfly on March 16, 2004
Hey!!!! I'm back and better than ever...well sorta
great chapters! I was missinlot lot of action and a hell of a awesom fic! *shakes fist at flu*

�I know how old I�ll be if you keep up this pace.�--rofl, that's very cute.

What?� She sat straight up. �EXCUSE ME?!�
�You�re excused. Now be quiet or you�ll wake the kid up.�--ok thats just damn hilarious!

And wow the twins can bring each other back to life that is very awesome. I love that. I just hope they nevee ate at the same time. This was really good and I enjoyed it!

Hey please don't glare at me...
I really felt so blah yesterday! but I feel better now! I would never leave ya hanging I love your fics too much!
^.*
-MB-

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From ANON - Getarian on March 15, 2004
Review for Chapter 8

Okay, the twin bond has been explained a bit more...they can actually bring each other back from the dead with the surviving one's ki? hat hat because it's identical? A sort of advanced form of artificial respiration? Cool!

"Thought that perhaps Vegeta had been right all along and fucking him was a horrible idea." LOL!

�I know how old I�ll be if you keep up this pace.�

LOL! Shades of his old man there :-)

Loved the bit about the sarcastic contest and Vegeta's first borns being like him...and Goten being amazed that he was even conceived if this attitude is what his dad had to put up with. LOL! Ah, Goten as you're no doubt about to find out...the sexy, sultry mate is worth the attitude ;-)

Hey, did Goten just claim Trunks?

Okay, now I know why Vegeta shoved Trunks back upstairs to his brother...he was protecting him. Vegeta seems to have a high priority in protecting his twin, although this is of course natural, Vegeta seems more obsessed than most...I wonder if it has anything to do with the ice cave incident or if it's just Vegeta being who he is?

I love how Vegeta's thoughts give us some insight into his relationship with his mother...they seem to be very closI liI like that :-)

�What?� She sat straight up. �EXCUSE ME?!�
�You�re excused. Now be quiet or you�ll wake the kid up.�

LOL! Not the most tactful of people is he?

*glares all the folk that did not review. *
Yeah, sorry about that, but I've hardly been home in the last two days, I can assure you that I was not ignoring your wonderful work...just didn't get the chance to read anything let alone review...but I've posted a review for each chapter...you know I love your stuff :-)

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From ANON - Getarian on March 15, 2004
Review for Chapter 7

Well things can certainly get intense with the twins. I'm curious as to what the big problem is with Goten using that device on 17, but Vegeta certainly seems mighty pissed with him for doing so.

I love how Goten used a Kamehameha whilst Vegeta used a Gallic Gun. Had to chuckle over the fact that the twins then used the resulting ki to 'play' catch...that's one ball you don't want to drop :-)

Why was Vegeta so annoyed at Trunks? Poor Trunks, he must wonde he he wouldn't be better off having the androids as house gueinstinstead. LOL!

�See?� he said, �I told you we could turn Super Saiyan.�

*Chuckle* That boy is way too cocky :-)

Interesting piece about 'the darkness' and the fact that Vegeta seems to experience it more than most. Goten never seems to show this side at all...the fact that his 'mom' sensed this in him enough to sympathise with him, and to explain about his own dark past is worrying...does this mean that Vegeta is a bit of a 'time bomb?' It also makes me wonder if Goten's 'who gives a fuck' philosophy may be his own unique way of dealing with his own dark nature...all this is very interesting stuff!

"Mom and Dad had thought this was such a clever idea."

Indeed it was!

"Aunt Bulma had been jealous because she hadn�t thought of it."

I'll bet she was. LOL!

Poor Vegeta, ealleally feels things deep doesn't he? I wonder if Goten fully realises just what his careless attitude is doing to his brother?

"Or the time they had reprogrammed the Dragon Ball finder to find their parents. That had been fucking hilarious, because Krillid Pid Piccolo had tried to find the Dragon Balls and they kept finding their parents in compromising situations."

Oh God...ROTFL! Gods, I love those twins! LOL!

Poor Trunks...he must be so confused...now Vegeta is shoving him in Goten's direction...gotta admit, that's confused me too...I think I might have missed something...we'll see...another chapter ahead of me yet :-)

"And everyone else wants to know what happened in the cave too! Yeah! (I want to know too.)" LOL! Well that's reassuring :-)

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