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Reviews for Much Like Suffocating

By : CardDragonBall

From ANON - macha on May 14, 2004
I love it when Goku gets angry and thinking in swear words. I don't get to see much of it often, so it's a real treat.

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From DietDirtyPop on May 14, 2004
First and formost sorry i haven't reviewed ine 10e 1000000 years. Just lazy I guess. anywho :) I was gladglad when Bulma wasn't really dead. I really like her in this story. and I was as glad as one can be when Gohan died he was an evil jerkhead. Poor Goten hes all powerful and those mean and nasty gods wont let him be. *sighs* I think since he doesn't live on that planet he shoult hat have to live b thier rules........unksunks with ewwwwwwww the only good part about that was Vegeta when he was like "Why should he care who his brother fucks......." or something along those lines. I chuckled.

Thanks for like 10 really good chapters....I think that was the last time I reviewed I am so bad at this.

~*Noel*~
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From ANON - Getarian on May 14, 2004
Reviewing chapters 21, 22 and 23

"...Because for a long time�much longer than Trunks would admit to anyone out loud�Goten was the only one in the universe that thought he was anything but a murderer."

This explains alot about Trunks' somewhat distant nature, and determined edge. Can't have been easy for him to live with this sort of attitude constantly around him. It certainly explains the cave. I'm glad that he and Goten found each other... everyone needs someone.

Trunks and ChiChi getting together? (shudder)

Bulma seems to have definitely had a wake up call with that abduction... not that I blame her, waking up in that tank would have been horrifying. I can well imagine her reassessing alot of things after that experience. I'm glad that she now sees some of the value in Trunks and no longer thinks of him as 'the murderer'.

"...If he wanted to chew his food loudly he was more than welcome to chew his food loudly in her presence."

(Chuckle) Yup! that would pretty much be my attitude as well. :-)

Yeah, I really like that Goten can influence Bardock's mind through false visions... but the fact that Goten temporarily becomes the person whose mind he is in, definitely sounds like a dangerous action. (shudders at the thought of being trapped within Bardock's psyche)

Good to know that Goten can heal Goku's mind. Got very annoyed with Krillin buttingon ton that and telling Goten and Vegeta that he won't allow them to mess with his mind... ironic really, considering that (albeit unintentionally) it was Krillin's fault that Goku's mind is messed up in the first place, due to him allowing Bardock access to it all those years ago.

"...Because today was the last day of Freiza�s life. Tomorrow of hof his abused would be back, and they would claim thggotggot�s life."

"Vegeta would have liked it to be him."

I can totally sympathise with this. It would be good for him to at least be able to witness Frieza's demise at the hands of Goku, but I can fully understand how Vegeta would love for it to have been him who would kill Frieza... it would go a long way in restoring some of what he lost to the bastard... still, at least another of Frieza's victims will have the chance of killing him and restoring something of himself in the process... so that's good.

Irritated beyond all means by this:

"...Felt that Freiza hadn�t taken him against his will, but taken him with his will and that made it hurt so much worse. Wanted the fucker dead so he could never speak those words, could never say out loud what had happened."

Understand at this point that this is Vegeta's self-loathing speaking to him, convincing him that it was his fault etc, etc, etc, but I wish just for once that he would damn well get a grip on reality and stop beating himself up over what coult bet be helped. I'm certainly not unsympathetic to what he must be going through (I think that's very obvious by now) but he's never going to be able to move on with his life if he keeps thinking that everything that happened to him was somehow his fault. Maybe his mind is not so 'scar free' as Goten thought.

"...(Most often in procedures such as this, the healer actually became possessed of the painful memories and acted them out in their gory details."

Shit... Goten is very brave to venture into Goku's mind if this is a strong possibility. Stuff the Juro Gods, if they condemn such a courageous action. I hope he can clear Goku's mind completely.

"...Because there were things that Goku hadn�t remembered. Like his tail. Bardock took his son�s tail. Like the words that Bardock said to him when he saved him. How he told him he was so pretty, and let him bleed and cry and loved it."

Bardock is one sick bastard to do all that to his son. I'm not exactly sure how this 'cleansing' process of Goku's mind works, but I hope that these things that Goku didn't remember, aren't suddenly brought to the forefront of his mind whilst this process is occurring... that would be horrible.

Deeply glad that Goten's mind can be washed from all that stuff he experienced in Gok min mind. Not really something you would want to remember.

Well, all caught up, and somewhat glad of it... this is a very draining fic... one chapter at a time is so much better. :-)

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From ANON - macha on May 13, 2004
Okay, I get it. Goku lived through ten years of having that voice in his fucking head, and the whole time he actually thought that he was free. *looks at self in mirror* "Duh."

Vegeta didn't have a decade of that voice in his head.

I am sused sed that Goten isn't dead. Not only does he have his Gods to worry about, but if Goku's insticts took over while Goten was messing with his mind, well that could be really bad.

Well, Chi Chi seemed very satied,ied, but nothing was said about Trunks other than his physical appereance, so I am guessing that he is waiting for his 'happy moment' for when he actually gets to buy a giraff with Goten. Uh....I mean have sex. :)

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From ANON - jaygoose on May 13, 2004
Goodness...I have missed so much. Where to begin. I am glad that Bulma is back but at first I wondered why Goku didn't kill that bastard Frieza when he had the chance. Now I know...great for the effect.

I feel bad for Goten and Trunks, but I am glad that bad ass Trunks and Chi finally got it on and over with. Geez the sexual tension was about to kill me. I do have a question though, would those wierd pink things that Bardock sent after Trunks be the Tamena-jin of Planet Tamanegi, they are idiots after all. And I wrote them and I can't even pronounce it. Just wishful thinking. :)

Poor Goku, his mind is a mess. It is a comfort that he and the Prince are toge in in this.
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From ANON - Webtester01 on May 13, 2004
�I sent them out, little addiction,� she whispered, �Secrets such as theirs are to remain secrets. Your mind is filthy with it. And tomorrow when the tyrant dies� You will wash it all clean.� LOL

I think that Trunks is secretly addicted to Goten and Chichi knows it.

Looking forward to more of the story.

I like you sense of humor.
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From ANON - Getarian on May 13, 2004
Reviewing chapters 14 up to and including chapter 20

The whole thing with Bulma getting caught by Gohan, happened pretty swiftly... I'm not sure how this whole thing works for me, she seemed to give up the fight a bit too quickly for me... I don't know how I would have honestly reacted in the same situation, knowing what I was going to be facing if I lost the battle, but I would at least have given it a shot before slashing my throat. I'm not completely sure that I liked this scene... it seemed too orchestrated, and didn't feel real, as a consequence, I didn't really feel anything for her when I read this.

Krillin, is now starting to annoy me a little, not so much for the way his mind is having trouble accepting how he has done wrong in the way of his faith... I still sympathise with the way this is doing his head in... but basically, whilst he is runnng around crying 'woe is me'... he's not being of much help in this mission, and he really needs to decide just what side of the fence he wants to stand, because in this sort of situation he can't afford to keep coming up with explanations of why he can't do something... they need to know that they can rely on him, and so yeah, it's a bit frustrating that he won't accept that he's already deeply a part of this, and he needs to finish what he began.

Goten and Trunks certainly do make a formidable pair.

I like that Vegeta and Goku were determined to go and rescue Bulma before any damage could be done to her, I deeply admire Vegeta's bravery in re-entering 'the house' even though he has precious little in the way of real power at the moment, it was an incredible show of courage. I also like the way that Goku went back, determined to rescue Bulma... but I must admit that I find myself wonde why why, if he could just walk straight up to and rescue Bulma right in front of Frieza like that... why all the dicking about with Vegeta like that at the beginning... why did he leave him there in that place a day longer than was necessary?

Pleased that Trunks was determined to stay by, and protect his brother, I like that determined spirit, I like that he doesn't waver from it.

"(Bardock hates him you know. Hates his son with every single fiber in his body. And he loves him just that same way.)"

"Who cared? The fucker was still going to die."

Totally agree, what he did to Goku, is not any love that I know of.

Totally sympathised with Vegeta as he stood in 'the house' feeling useless because he was not strong enough to fight, and pleased that he was determined to remedy that fact as soon as possible... proud of the fact that he stood there anyway, symbolising his battle against the bastard who enslaved him for so much of his young life.

Still liking ChiChi, although at times she defintely creeps me out. Love that Vegeta is proud of his brother. :-)

"Those first days, those were the worst of days because you remembered what you were�really were�and you knew that you were going to lose yourself. Punched the new pleasure button yourself and killed off the parts of you that you wanted to keep. Those were the very worst of days."

Oh God... this just keeps getting worse, I hate that fucking Frieza!

"...And here stood the maggot himself, with that little smirk, telling him that �yes you too were a bartered good.�"

That must have been a huge kick in the gut... even suspecting as much, is nothing like knowing it for a fact. I think that the last ties between Goku and Bardock may just have been severed.

"...didn�t pity him, but admired that strength deeply. Vowed within his own mind to one day find a way to release Goten from the Juro Gods� wrath."

Love that Vegeta is planning on doing this, hope that one day he can.

Hmmm, overall, these chapters had some good and some not so good moments (for me that is) but in spite of that, it's still a very compelling read.

Sorry, I forgot to answer your responses to me from my first batched review....

"Ah, Goku isn�t really ticked off at the Prince. He�s just like �What Else Can I take?�..."

Okay, thanks for answering this... makes sense, especially about that mind control thing from Bardock.

"...So he�s just been asked to take down his father who traded the Prince and etc. He was still ticked about finding out his whole �rescue mission� was a lie and that his father was evil. So he said if it was true he�d help Vegeta, but that doesn�t mean (at that point) he�s thrilled about it."

Again, thanks for explaining this... the scene makes more sense now. :-)

"Vegeta thinks he�s �using� Goku the same way that his father �used� him to defeat his enemies. Like an all-purpose solider..." " ...(One would notice that Vegeta has a complex where he believes everything is his fault."

Ah, yeah... I have noticed that and yes, it does explain his choice of words.

"Glad to have you reading. *winks significantly * Also pleased to see that you are finding the fleshy parts of the story interesting. (All things considered.)"

Huh? Yeah... I take it this is in response to my e-mail... not the 'fleshy parts', that sounds so hentai, and although I'm not adverse to that at all... I am in this fic... it's not the right place for it... I was referring to the fleshed out part of the story, in relation to what I knew of the basic plot at that point.

Nearly caught up... butm sum super tired now, so I'll read the rest tomorrow.

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From ANON - Getarian on May 13, 2004
Reviewing chapters 10 up to and including chapter 13

Lots happening over these chapters, starting to get a 'feel' for the other characters. So far, I'm really liking ChiChi, she's cr, ye, yet at the same time, her calm view of things is sort of reassuring in it's strength of conviction...

"... all of you standing here today, all of you are Bardock�s strongest allies. He knows you would rather die on this ship than face him. THAT,� she hissed, clicked her teeth together as her forehead started to darken, as it seemed like her face changed, morphing into something that was a true horror, �Is why he chose you..."

I liked the whole of this speech... eveyone who had heard of Trunks was floundering around in a sea of fear and long-held prejudices, and they needed this sort of 'kick up the arse' to make them see how they were still being led around by Bardock. I really liked how Vegeta managed to snap out of his semi catatonia, and start to assert himself at this point even though he was still being ruled by the drug, and his mind was full of unanswered questions about Bardock, the why's of it all... I love his determination to stay strong, even through those moments when his skin aches and itches for the touch of warmth... I can't even begin to comprehend what that must be like, but my heart aches for both Vegeta and Goku.

Speaking of Goku... I liked this:

"...Let them think that anything could stop Bardock. That�s the way to do it, Goku! Make them believe so you could believe it yourself."

As with Vegeta, I like how Goku is exhibiting a strength that he doesn't necessarily feel. His inability to determine just how he feels about everything that he has just recently discovered about his father must surely be doing his head in. His desire to stay focused is commendable.

Skipping back a bit... I am interested in this whole name thing with Goku... I'm wondering why Goku is his real name, and Kakarot is the name that Frieza gave him... Kakarot being more Saiyan and all... Also, the fact that Krillin thinks of him initially as Kakarot, and has to correct himself is somewhat surprising to me... I would have thought that Bardock would have always referred to Goku, as Goku, when they were making their plans to 'rescue' him.

The humming business has definitely interested me...

"...but humming very softly as if it was just now beginning to understand what was happening. As if something was being triggered."

So, naturally I was dead wrong way back when I assumed that Bardock was humming in an attempt to control his anger, back when he 'rescued' Goku... so I'm now assumong that the humming has some sort of controlling affect on Goku... Hmm, so Goku is probably not quite as 'free' as he thnks he is.

"And you, his conscience reminded him, allowed Bardock access to that mind."

At this stage I'm not sure just how much damage Krillin is inadvertently responsible for in the case of the Prince and Goku, when he first set out to help Bardock, but he himself is certainly feeling some pretty deep guilt... this is going to do some major damage in the way he views himself within his faith. Sheesh, first Goku, then Ve, th, then Krillin... isn't Bardock just a little ray of sunshine? >:-(

As for the other characters... I deeply like Trunks! His life hasn't exactly been a joy either. The puritanical nature of the Juro's and the Spider people, definitely do not make me like those races very much, and I am amazed at Krillin's and ChiChi's lack of open judgement... surprisingly, it is Bulma who shows the most disgust... or fear...

"Trunks snorted. �Prejudice will get you killed,� he said."
"�By you?� Bulma inquired."

Gotta admit, although I did use this as a point in my previous statement, I also found it quite funny at the same time.

Really feel for Trunks, spending ten long years searching for his older brother, whilst knowing absolutely nothing about him.. not even his name... must have been so frustrating for him at times... I'm glad that he has found him now. :-)

Really loved this:

"...and STOP IT VEGETA!"

"STOP STOP STOP!"

"He was stronger that the fucking maggot that had taken him. Stronger than fucking Bardock with his fucking plan and his superior ability to see the future. He would defeat both of them and he would do it while he kept himself as he had always been. The Prince."

I love that Vegeta is determined not to let what happened to him destroy who he essentially is... I imagine that it's not going to be a simple as all this, but I love that he is staying strong enough to fight back those horrible, drug-induced feelings that keep raping his mind.

Bardock seems to have a personal link of some sort or another with each member of this group, I'm wondering if it was his plan all along to use each and every member in his schemes and then ultimately destroy them along with the Prince, or if it was just his 'lucky break' to have these people at his disposal.

This made me sad...

"Then he turned to the Prince, saw that itching was driving him to distraction now, because he was clawing at his own arm-not even realizing it-and his hand still hovered there around his mouth."

"And Vegeta turned to look at him, curled his hands into fists and said: �I don�t want this.�"

Just tragic the way these two still are driven by that need to feel the touch, the warmth of another body. I love that Vegeta refused to use Goku, and the fact that Goku tried to fight his own desire for Vegeta... I admire their inner strength, I really do... and I love that you didn't delve into this very personal moment for them... the chapter ended well.

Will read more later. :-)

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From ANON - macha on May 12, 2004
That was very understanding of Goten. Of course, I know that he gets to 'watch' if he wants to.

Interesting that Goku's mind is a mess and Vegeta's isn't. I hope that gets explained eventually.

Very smart of Trunks to make a clearing, that way he can see whatever it is that is coming his direction.

*rubs hands in anticipation* I can't wait for Trunks and Goten to.....?

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From ANON - macha on May 11, 2004
YEAH Goten! Oh, and thank Chi Chi for making him explain it, will ya? That's very exciting news. I wonder how far behind Goku Vegeta will take to become SSJ.

kie!kie! LEMONS!
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From ANON - -MB- on May 10, 2004
I really loved both of these chapters!
But my review kept not going through...so unfortunately this is the abridged version...

I felt deeply sad for Goten and his explanation that he gave to Bulma...
but I was happy Veg Vegeta thought to free him from the Juro gods...I do hope he does.

I am glad that Bulma is back and it seems as though she has some scars of her own now. I was surprised at the conrontation with Frieza...just glad that no one was hurt, to the point of death.

Oh and I loved when ChiChi made the 'kitten' a web nest...that was really sweet.

Anyway I truly loved it all..and still feel bad for Goku and how he feels about his dad. Howwantwanted the answer if his dad traded him to Frieza....just devastating to find out your parent would do that to you.

Everything is getter deeper...and I am loving it.

^.*
-MB-
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From ANON - macha on May 10, 2004
You continue to amaze me with this story. They are all sooooo cool!(the exceptions being Frieza, Bardock and Krillin, sorry, but he is such a prude, but I guess you wrote him that way on purpose, huh.)

Hmmm, I smell a partial lemon, I think that I will have to go and investigate. (That's right, nothings sacred.)

So, I noticed that Krillin wasn't in this chapter. (thinks of reasons)

"phew," Bulma's safe. But just because they have her, doesn't mean that a device wasn't already put on her. And that was very nice of Chi Chi to spin her a web.
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From ANON - setharo07 on May 08, 2004
I'm glad to see that 'Ten and Trunks have had previous relations before, but it must've been strange. I really don't want to think about Chichi and Trunks together, but I guess that it's gonna happen in a while. How cruel of the icejin's, to have a Zoo full of humans and other species, especialn con conditions like that. At least the visitors died like they all should. But, it'shamshame that 'Ten was an idiot, like ks cks called him, and made himself hurt that much more. Ooohh!!! I really like how Trunks turned out in 'the house'. I rea really cool how he can freeze them, befrore choppig them to pieces. The spider coming out of his back was strange, but ultimately cool beyond belief. *looks between two hands* Symphony and pride; or massacre and disgust? What to choose? Being a Saiyan goddess, I'd go with the first. I'm definitely proud of Trunks for dispatching with the evil in the way he did. Poor Kriilin, he's gonna have it tough for a while, but I think he'll learn to deal. Oh yay!! I wanna see Goku's shiny ass!! I'm sure lots of people wanna see that! 'Specially 'Geta!
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From ANON - macha on May 08, 2004
Ah, cool fight. Or should I say, lack there of? Lots of blood though!

Krillin, get your head out of your a$$. (Sorry, had to get that off of my chest)

I can't wait until after they rescue Bulma, and Vegeta gets to 'get back into shape'. I don't think that I have told you this, but you write some pretty good fighting/sparring sceens.

Vegeta has pride in Trunks, Yes!
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From ANON - jaygoose on May 08, 2004
Damn, I'm going to miss this story when I'm gone. Trunks is the Kick Ass God of Kick Ass. He is so cool, even with a spider protruding from his back. *Sighs dreamily* I do feel bad for Goten and Krillin. Goten because everytime he does something cool he starts bleeding and Krillin because he is having such a hard time with things.

Oww... and Goku is shiny...hmm...wonder what that means?
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