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Reviews for Centrepiece

By : Clarrisani
  • From ANON - Lullaby Lily on February 21, 2005
    (reviewing chapter 5)
    Hehe, I saw that movie 'You've got mail' only last night! I'm totally in the mood ^^!
    Cute chappie, especially the last bit.
    And, I learned two new English expressions: the candle thing and 'hit the hay'. The last one's totally cute!! It's soo going to be my nickname on msn for a while!
    Anyway, the next reviews will be something for tomorrow. It's late, and, well, it's time to 'hit the hay' ^^.
    ~Lily~
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  • From ANON - Lullaby Lily on February 21, 2005
    (reviewing chapter 3)
    Tala IS a manipulative jerk! *shivering* He's really SCARY!!! Ray's right! He NEEDS treatment in mental institution really badly!
    Oh and the 'Bryan saved me from food poisoning'; hehe indeed he did. *Sigh* Bryan's your rescuer Ray!
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  • From ANON - Lullaby Lily on February 21, 2005
    Hey!
    Guess who's reviewing this story... ME! ^^
    Long story how I actually found this one. I don't usually read much stuff on adultfanfiction. Anyway, IT'S GREAT!!!!!!!!!!! I've read the entire story, but because I think it's sooo great, I'll review all the chapters I really liked or fascinated me.
    I love the way you portrayed Ray in this chapter; so incredibly vulnerable, feeling ill, dirty and empty... Very angsty!!!
    I also like the fact that Rei has to put on make-up, so nobody would notice how zombie-like he looks. Intruiging. Actually, this entire story is intriguing... I TOTALLY LOVE IT!!
    Anyway, I really gotta go now, my class begins :( . More reviews to come soon, promised :)!
    ~Lily~
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  • From ANON - Dr.Von Doom on February 19, 2005
    its probably kai and tala, those basterds, if it was up to me, i'd have the great leviathen swallow those two!!! actually, maybe just tala, i really hate him.do tell what happens next
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  • From ANON - Anon on February 08, 2005
    Love it, Update soon?
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  • From ANON - kari_remon on January 31, 2005
    I'd bet my money on Tala and Kai... Aren't they plotting to get Ray back? I'm hoping on something that will involve Ray being rescued by Bryan, am I getting my hopes to high? Guess I'll never know until the end of the story.
    Can't say this was boring at all, flufiness is always necessary and welcome... even if it's with Bryan _and_ Ray.
    “One more comment like that and you will be on the floor.” Lavender eyes narrowed. “Polishing my shoes at that.” Humm, loved this line, almost seemed as if the secons part was... a correction, an excuse to hide a hint on his true meaning...

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  • From ANON - clock owl on January 30, 2005
    Ohh, Rei and Bryan better be careful. I am surprised they acted so boldly with Tala and Kai in the room (mainly Tala), but Rei does feel safe when he is with Bryan... Kyah! Cute chapter! ^^
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  • From ANON - Blackrose on January 30, 2005
    If I had to make a guess, I would bet my money on Kai and Tala. Those asses dunno when to quit. This is getting really good. Looking forward to seeing more.
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  • From ANON - lady snowblossom on January 22, 2005
    (does happy dance) I knew it! I knew it! Spencer and Lee, whoopiee! Now, there's a pairing! I like it! And isn't Rei a firecracker, thought for a moment there that Bry was gonna have sit on him. (Ohh, naughty image) Wonderful job as always.
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  • From ANON - clock owl on January 22, 2005
    Good fic! I am amazed to find a story at this site that is actually well-written and has the characters kept somewhat intact. I cannot wait to read more if you so desire to write more! ^^
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  • From on January 22, 2005
    I would clap my hands if you could listen to it. A very good fiction, I'm very impressed!
    Though it has 30 chapters already, it took me little time to read, it must be the first time I ever found an author who could say all there is to be said without to many pretty words and with such small chapters. The plot is nothing of to imaginative, but the way you led the story is amasing. Rei's thoughts, the portrait of him as submissive person and his reactions inside the relationship are flawless. I'm enjoying Bryan's part very much, but him being the support seems ooc, but since he's no longer a 'bad guy' so... But I wonder what can happen. What I mean is, Ray wanted support, a shoulder to cry on and he found it on Bryan. When he finaly pulls himself up, will he still think of Bryan the same way? And what of Bryan? Won't he feel a bit used, thinking of himself as a shell for Ray to hide from Tala and Kai? As for these two, you are making me hate my favorite characters. That means you are making them evil so well I can't possibly like them. I liked the way you started the story, most of them start before they get into the relationship and go on from there, but, starting at the middle of it, you managed to cover all the details needing clearence without forgetting anything. Funny how most people are so open talking online and are unable to be like that so I had some fun imagining Bryan in a chat room, chatting...
    I didn't particularly like the confrontation scene with Tala Kai Ray and Bryan in front of all those people. Though I can imagine someone like Ray behing able of using the other people as shields, I don't think either Tala or Bryan would feel confortable dealing with such things in public. Then again, they are anime characters... and all the sex, is that humanly possible? Isn't that a little to much hormones per day?
    As for editing part, every now and then letters seem to disapear. Don't if it's the site's fault of if it's you who forgot to write the full word. other then that it seems perfect, good spacing, many paragrafs, no spelling mistakes I could spot, ect etc...
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  • From ANON - Blackrose on January 21, 2005
    Woah. Those two together? That's a strange one. This is getting good. Hope to see more soon.
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  • From ANON - ShadowSlayer (Too lazy to log in) on January 12, 2005
    Not too much to this chapter, but it wasn't bad... Poor Ray... lol...
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  • From ANON - tallia on January 12, 2005
    NUUU! I hope nothing bad happens... Hey, can we skip everything and just go to the lemon?! Sorry I love the story, I have just been yaoi deprived because in the past week, my dear mother decided to check the entire computer for anything she didnt approve of... and she almost found out about my yaoi addiction.. Luckily I told her this website was an 'adult humor' website... >.>
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  • From ANON - Blackrose on January 12, 2005
    This is great. Hope Tala and Kai don't cause problems. It's getting real good though. Lets see some action between the two lovebirds eh? Looking forward to reading more.
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