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Reviews for Descent

By : ZaKai

From gatherer818 on February 18, 2007
An -extremely- good story so far, the only complaint I have is that it's not done.

*points way back at chapter 1*

as for the part about not using japanese words, I must disagree a little. The reason I intend to use a few japanese words in my own writing is the amount of additional detail that can be appended in three little letters. By having Al occasionally use nii-chan or Onii-sama instead of his usual nii-san, you can show respect, sarcasm, distance, closeness, love, or anger. Likewise, different attitudes towards someone are easy to notice. As a major, Ed should be Edward-sama or Fullmetal-sama to normal people, still Edward-san or nii-san to Al and Winry, maybe Ed-chan to Hawkeye and Armstrong, and possibly Ed-kun to Mustang or Pinako.

*end of over-opinionated note*

Still, it doesn't take away from the story, I just think it'd have been even better with. Definately bookmarked. Maybe the best fanfic I ever read, better than some published books for sure.

P.S. As for the Russell/Fletcher... just ~please~ make sure it's very loving and touching if you decide to "elaborate", I couldn't possibly stand the thought of him getting hurt, especially by the big brother he loves and adores. It seems like you already made it that way, with them snuggling and soft kisses, but.... please keep it that way.
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From ANON - Amethyst-eyed Koneko on February 17, 2007
Well! Things have certainly gotten interesting! I feel so bad for Fuery. It's always the most innocent ones who bear the brunt of a crisis. It's nothing short of a blessing that these thugs didn't know about Roy and Ed's relationship or it might have been Ed getting beaten half to death instead of Fuery! (side note: Naughty author for interrupting that nice lemony moment with the ringing phone! :D Bad author! Bad! LOL!!) It was very telling when neither Havoc or Hawkeye would say they trusted Mustang. ouch. Roy and Ed's relationship has definitely heated up! yum! The little role-playing thing they did when Ed first put his uniform on was hot! Roy is so deliciously kinky! :D I'm not sure why but the line "Fullmetal Alchemist Major Edward Elric" brought a sad happy tear to my eye. It was such a bittersweet moment. That title definitely adds a lot of weighty importance to Ed. *sigh* He really is all grown up now. This must be how a parent feels when they realize their child is no longer a child. *sad smile* You surprised me with the Russell/Fletcher thing. whoa! Talk about kinky! I'm glad Izumi stepped in to save Fletcher from himself. He's just too trusting of Russell and who knows how much further things would have gone had she not done something. I'm hoping with all my heart that Al stays out of the coming conflict. It would break my heart if Ed and Al had to fight each other on the battlefield. I have a feeling however that Ed will find himself right in the middle of it soon enough. Trouble always seems to find him. :)
Update soon!
Koneko =^.^=
P.S. Roy's alcoholism and Ed's fractured mental state still bother me. I'm like a dog with a bone - I just can't let it go. I feel like at any moment the other shoe will drop and everything will go to hell in a handbasket. Will these two ever get the professional help they need? The coming war will put a lot of stress on them and I fear for their future. *sigh* I'm such a worrywart! :D
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From AmethystEyedKoneko on February 16, 2007
Hi! New reader here! yay! :) I thought I'd stop here at the midpoint (chapter 11 I think) and just say how amazing this story is so far. Ed's depression about not getting his arm and leg back and his agony over the fight between himself and Al, Roy's denial about his drinking problem, the sexual tension between Roy and Ed, Al and Winry's budding romance and the almost love triangle between Al, Ed, and Winry - all are so beautifully written I can't even begin to find the words. Roy's denial about his situation hits home especially hard with me since I have had to deal with alcoholics in denial. I know only too well where this can go. I could really empathize with Riza when she was talking with Roy in the bar. Ed's not the only one who needs help. Roy desperately does too. You've written such realistic and all too human characters that it is easy to feel what they feel. Their pain, angst, misery, and, yes, pleasure are beautifully portrayed. I would congratulate you no end for this deeply compelling story if only I had the proper words.

I am curious about one thing tho. I've been thinking about how Ed managed to get Al's body back. Since according to the laws of equivalent exchange, something must be given in order to receive something, could this mean or imply that Ed had to offer someone else's body to the gate in order to get Al's body from the gate? Even though he doesn't remember what he did, Ed acts like he did something pretty horrid or at least immoral to get Al back. This line of thinking would mean that Ed had to offer someone's arm and leg to get back his own - not a nice thing to think! I'm just playing devil's advocate here, just bouncing theories around in my head. Ed could have found some special ancient array (which I think you implied in here somewhere) or he could have used the Philosopher's Stone to do what he did and now he feels guilty for using it since the Stone comes at such a very high price. Either way, it's not important. Dealing with the fallout of the past, surviving the present, and striving for a future however is. :) I really hope Roy and Ed have a future together.
Update soon!
Koneko =^.^=
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From ANON - feriwiccan on February 11, 2007
I just started reading your fic (well, finished, technically ^_^) and I just want to say that it's really great. You do a great job on the characterizations and the minor plot changes (and the smut, of course, but does that need to be mentioned? ^_^ )

speaking of smut... how could you skip kink night?! T_T and after major elric commited such "insubordination" in the last chapter... XD
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From ANON - stupefiedNarutard on February 09, 2007
Oh, how I love this story! You sure do update quickly... I haven't even had much time to be on the internet lately and check my mail, but I'm always happy to read your stories. Another wonderful, though out chapter and I loved the kink night so much! Hehe, Ed really does look good in a uniform... I saw him in one once... sexy as hell. Poor Kain, I love him! He's so sweet... but once again, the military comes into effect at this point... if you know too much... you get hurt. It happens everyday even in the real world. Yay, love this story! LOVE IT I SAY!!
lovelovelovelove,
sn
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From BishounenKrazed on February 08, 2007
they don't fucking trust him?! how the hell...! then again, they know mustang's plan, and i don't so i have nothing to base judgment on, but roy is not a fucking bad guy!

nice job! i love when stories really pull me in like this. i'm getting just as nervous as ed and al, and i even know this story isn't real! kudos, and i look forward to your next chapter.
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From ANON - Dreamer on January 28, 2007
OK, your story rocks, please update soon, and if possable, is there a way i can be told when you update? because i would really like to know. it just rocks. (poor guy, i didn't want him to die T___T . but i guess you had your resins for it.)
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From ANON - kuragari75 on January 27, 2007
O.O FUERY!!! NOOOO!!! he doesn't die does he? PLEASE SAY NO!!!! love the chapter btw! BUT DON'T DIE ON ME FUERY!
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From ANON - raindrop150 on January 26, 2007
nooooooooooo! thats just wrong. why would anyone want to kill poor innocent fury!!!?!???? i really really love this storyline, and omg *nosebleeds* at the thought of ed and roy playing superior and subordinate in the bedroo, in unifrom. that was jst freaking awesome. i cant wait for more chapters!
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From IsabelleMae42 on January 20, 2007
wow, well to start with the part with the uniform in the beginning, damn hot!! with that out of the way, you really seem to have a grasp for characters, Izumi's thoughts about the Tringhams. No Al in this chapter, sad but thats okay. You have to update soon, i wanna know whats gonna happen next poor Fuery :(
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From BishounenKrazed on January 20, 2007
this was so amazingly awesome!! the whole kink between ed and roy, the need for izumi to protect fletcher, and kain!! omg, kain! he's not dead is he? i mean, that's what i'd assume since it would hit home to roy harder if someone on the case wound up dead, but no!! he can't be dead!! but such a great chapter!! i can't wait for the next one!
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From TsubasaNoKoe on January 20, 2007
poor fury! T_T
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From ANON - Tsubasa No Koe on January 10, 2007
Riiiiight Edo-kun Roy doesn't have any problem with driking.....lolz
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From ANON - Broken Wings on January 09, 2007
heyyyy!!! I reallyreally like this story,so mind e-mailing me when upload? arigatooooou!!!
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From ANON - Nomme de Plume on January 07, 2007
ed's only just now noticing this? this was a great chapter, though i am highly curious what mustang was doing with ed in the library. and i'm dying to know what ed did to get al's body back!! please update soon!!
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