rate_review Reviews

Okay, this would have been a really, really good work of fiction if you hadn't messed up one part...(no offense, I'm just helping you out). At the beginning of the scene where Une is in her apartment and there is a knock at the door, she had already undone her bra and taken all but her underwear off. When Noin knocked, she pulled a long shirt over her body and went to see who it was.

In the scene where they start loving on each other, Une is magically redressed in everything she had on with the exception of her boots...what's wrong with this story now? Yeah, I would assume its obvious now. Please fix that and after you've fixed that, this will be a good story once again. ^_^

Just thought I'd help. But I did like the story, that just threw it off for me. Sorry.

~J.

I liked the sensitive, delicate Une that you portrayed. My only constuctive comments are the matter un une\'s bra which is discared on the floor when Noin knocks.. and comes ack when Noin is touching her; And how quickly everything played out took a little away from me. I\'d like to read a little more indepth on their thoughts to round out the piece. Otherwise it was wonderful. keep it up.

This is great!

I love Noin/Une yuri fics. In truth I am a fan of any romantic fan fiction be it het, yaoi or yuri. Though I am pickier when it comes to het but thats a different matter.

Anyway this is a marvellous lemon and an excellent pairing! ^_~

I'd admit it...explicit yuri freaks me out...but I decided I have to try and be more open-minded than that. I read through your whole fic...it's reasonably well-written for a PWP. I can't comment on the, uh, sex because I skimmed it through a little quickly...but yeah, reasonably well-written!