rate_review Reviews

Love it! really intrigued by the two contradictory voices in vegeta\'s head tho...maybe the poor guy is finally starting to lose it... anyway, please keep it up! and PLEASE don\'t let goku let him leave! You can\'t let th evil voice win!
xx
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ahh!! vegeta\'s leaving?! what\'s gonna happen??? and don\'t say you\'re not a great writer you are, you\'re very descriptive and almost poetic ain ur descriptions but yea please contineu i want to see what happens!!!

Very colorful descriptions! I like this fic. Keep it up!

Holy Moly... what do you have going on here? So discriptive, and yet I am left wondering what the heck is going on as much as Vegeta is.

WHAT?! Time to leave Earth? AAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaahhhh....

Excellent story, PLEASE continue.

Hmmmm.... Are the voices an inside influence or an outside one? Or a little of both. Interesting how their speech is more formal in comparison to normal dialog - is that deliberate? Wondering why the internal battle made Vegeta pass out and what the little glow was - and why he can\'t remember now. Poor Goku - so bewildered by his prince\'s strange behavior and trying to be so careful and not piss him off.

I never totally destroy stuff I have written - I have files of false starts. You should keep yours, even if you don\'t post them. Sometimes it is just waiting for a rewrite, or else there is a gem of a paragraph in there.

I can\'t believe you cut me off just then! Youupdate faster than me! So short and so sweet! I definately belive in you!

Beautiful description. Very nice how you made Vegeta seem to be part of the night - and comfortable with it. Can\'t wait to see why Goku was so desperate to pursue him to the point of tripping in what should be his own environment. It seems like they are lovers but not friends... Looking forward to the next chapter - hope to learn more about what is wrong with the pair.

WOW! Chichi and Pixel are here...*can\'t wait for thier next fics*

I can\'t wait for your next chapter as well! This was good and I really want to know what happens! I can see how these two toher authors influence you...it\'s good to have IDOLS!!!!

I feel that this is really great so far. I love the description, the way you give Vegeta a lot of inner thought, the way Goku\'s eyes speak for him... It\'s wonderful. For a beginner, this is really really good, which means one of two things: A) you\'ve read a helluva lot of fics or B) you have really thought about the emotions you have wanted to put into this and the plot. I personally think that it\'s B.

In your first A/N, you say you will never be able to compose fanfics with the same intensity, beauty, or all around awesomeness that many of the people on aff do, but that you promise to try your best, and I think that you are wrong. Your best is better than a lot of other people\'s, especially for a first time. To be blunt: I think you put yourself down too much, or that you are too modest, which is refreshing, because some people think they are the best.

I would be happy to read and review the rest of this fic, and any others you do. You have talent.

Keep up the good work,

The Chichi Slaughter House

very coiled and tense foreshadowy with just a hint of the love between them....


excellent excellent! This is like a fine recipe! I hope the meal you make is good!