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The Sound of Silence	By : ZaKai Category: Fullmetal Alchemist > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 11395 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Alchemist, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 9
- 10
- 11
Review Replies:

Indonixgirl: *nods*
yeah, it�s definitely a good thing Riza was there.� TwinnyHeartilly:
Thank you for saying so.� I do understand
your feelings.� Roy Mustang is my
favorite FMA character�probably my favorite anime character of all time�yet I�m
writing him as a total slime.� Your
English is fine.� No worries. ^_^� I can send you an
email when I update if you want, so that you don�t have to check every
day.� tati1:� Very good deduction
about why Ed is talking to Hawkeye.�
Those are some good guesses, but, no, I�m not going to tell you why Ed
killed Mustang.� Sorry.� You�ll just have to keep reading until that
time comes.� Amethyst-eyed Koneko:� *nods* yes, I think it would have been bad
for Ed if he would have gone back with Mustang.�
I�m glad you thought the �encounter� scene was well written.� It really would have been difficult for me to
convey that type of emotion to the reader without them seeing at least a little
of what happened.� You�re added to
everything I post to AFF.N ^_^� Kuroneko:
Thank you.� I added you on the mailing
lists. ^_^ �stupefiedNarutard:� *nods*
definitely a good thing Riza was there.�
I feel so sorry for Ed because he�s so confused.� He really doesn�t know what to think, and
he�s simply grasping at straws, so to speak.�
I hope you did well on your exams.�
hey.hey.monkey:�
I�m glad you think it�s well written enough to bring out some
emotions.� Leigh:� Thank you for your
compliments.� I can understand being iffy
about reading something with the warnings I had up, but I wanted to make it
very clear to the reader what they are getting into.� I don�t always do that�and, in fact, I rarely
even warn if there�s going to be character death in my stories, but I felt that
it was very important that people be properly warned about this one.� I added you to the mailing list.

-

The Sound of Silence

Chapter Nine

Alphonse

-

Beep

Beep

Beep

Ed sighed
and looked up through the dim light at the life support machine as it continued
its incessant beeping.� He hated that
fucking machine.� Every beep seemed to be
a pronouncement of how utterly unfair his life was.�

He
yawned.

It was
late and he was tired, but he supposed he was used to less sleep by now.� The teen knew he�d need to go to sleep soon,
or he�d just collapse, but he wanted to stay awake as long as possible, just in
case Al awoke.

Ed bent
over his brother and pulled the blanket up so that it touched the boy�s chin.� The sandy-haired boy was pale and thin�malnourished
to the point that Ed thought he�d seen corpses that looked healthier.� Wires from the life support machine snaked
their way under the blanket where they were taped to Al�s chest, and a few
different IV tubes connected the boy�s arms and hands with plastic bags hanging
on metal poles.

Still
bending over, Ed let his eyes run over Al�s face.� This wasn�t exactly how he�d imagined things
would be once they reached their goal, or at least when he reached his goal of
getting his brother�s body back, given that he still had the automail...� It had never even occurred to him that his
brother�s body might be the same age that it had been when it had been taken
away.

Ed sighed.

Two
weeks.� It had been two long weeks since
he�d gotten Al�s body back, and in all that time, his brother hadn�t woken even
once.� But, he was alive.� There was that much at least.� It had been a lucky thing that he�d been
transferred back to Central along with Mustang�s unit.� East
City�s hospital was the
best in that region, but it wasn�t nearly as advanced as the one in
Central.�

The
seventeen-year-old reached over and gently moved a lock of Al�s sandy-blond
hair.� He just couldn�t believe how young his brother looked.� Al didn�t seem so young in his memories, but
Ed supposed that was due to the fact that he�d been that young himself.� His brother�s features were so pure and
innocent�� Ed frowned slightly, wondering
if he�d looked so innocent at that age.�

A
clicking sound from the doorknob met his ears and he looked up, squinting when
bright light from the hallway flooded into the dimly lit room.� A figure walked in and shut the door; and
when Ed saw who it was, he scowled.

�It�s
past midnight.� What the hell are you doing here?� he asked irritably as
he stood straight.�

�I
thought I�d bring you some coffee and a little something to eat,� Mustang
replied easily, holding up a small Styrofoam cup and a paper bag before sitting
down on the small couch on the side of the room. �Ed frowned unhappily.� He�d been sleeping on that couch since Al had
been admitted and he didn�t like having his �bed� so casually taken
over�especially by Mustang.

He eyed
his commanding officer warily.� It was
possible that Mustang really was simply here to be nice, it did happen
sometimes, but Ed highly doubted that was the case.� It was the middle of the night, and there was
no reason for the colonel to be visiting this late unless he wanted something.

Mustang
patiently sat on the couch, and Ed knew that the colonel was waiting for him to
come to him.� What Ed really wanted to do
was ignore the other man, but his stomach betrayed him by growling
eagerly.� He hadn�t eaten all day, and
his mouth was starting to salivate heavily at the prospect of food.

Sighing
in defeat, Ed walked over and held his hands out for the food, but Mustang
pulled the bag out of reach and gestured toward the empty space on the
couch.� Making a sound of exasperation,
Ed plopped down onto the two-seater couch and was rewarded with the cup and
bag.� Bringing the cup to his mouth, Ed
took a sip of the hot liquid, then positioned it
between his legs before opening the sack and pulling out the paper-wrapped
sandwich.�

Mustang
made himself more comfortable on the couch, putting one
arm on the arm rest and the other on the back of the couch.� Ed frowned when he felt the colonel begin
caressing the back of his neck through his undone hair.� The touch was soft, and, much to Ed�s frustration,
it felt good.

�You
should wear it down more often...� the older alchemist murmured.

Ed
shrugged, trying to rid himself of the desire to lean into the caress, and said
shortly, �I don�t like it in my face.�

Mustang
ran his fingers through the teen�s hair, then reached over and plucked the cup
from between Ed�s legs.� �Closer,� he
commanded.

�I�m already close to you,� the blond growled
irritably.� �What the hell do you want me
to do?� Sit on your fucking lap?�

�Actually,
I would like that,� Mustang murmured.

Ed stared
at him in disbelief for a moment, then made a sound of exasperation and scooted
onto the colonel�s lap.� Really, he was
much too old for this sort of thing...�
He shifted, trying to find a position that wasn�t too uncomfortable,
then held out his hand for the coffee.� ��

Mustang
passed it over, then wrapped one arm around Ed�s shoulders, and used the other
to rub the teen�s leg.� Ed rolled his
eyes and started unwrapping his sandwich.� The man was in his �I care about you even
though I want to fuck you� mode.� When
Mustang nuzzled against Ed�s cheek and gave him a small kiss, Ed whispered
irritably, �I�m not a child...stop treating me like one...� but made no move to
physically stop the man.� He was ashamed
to admit it, but he needed the human contact more than he wanted the colonel to
keep to himself.

�I�m very
aware of that,� Mustang breathed, and Ed squirmed a little from the hot breath
on his neck.� Mustang�s hand slid up Ed�s
leg and to his groin, where he fondled him through his pants.� Ed gave a small, quick intake of breath, then quickly glanced to his brother�s bed.

�Fuck!�
Ed breathed in frustration as the man nibbled on his ear.� This wasn�t right.� He just couldn�t do this with his brother
here.� Even if Al was asleep, he just
couldn�t.

�Well,
that actually sounds good to me too,� Mustang murmured.

�I never
said that sounded good,� Ed said, noting in angry humiliation that his body was
at war with what he was saying.

�Your
reactions say it all, Ed,� Mustang answered smoothly and moved to slip his hand
inside of Ed�s pants.

�You�re
going to make me spill my coffee,� Ed complained, hoping that the man would get
the hint.� It wasn�t that Ed couldn�t say
�no�, and it wasn�t even that he couldn�t say �no� to Mustang, it was just that
he couldn�t say �no� to Mustang when it came to this.� He wanted to, but he just couldn�t get
himself to do so.� The man�s reaction
wasn�t worth the defiance.

Sighing,
Mustang moved his head away from Ed�s face, and moved his hand back to Ed�s leg
before saying in an off handed way, �Your medical leave is almost gone.� Ed
grunted and took a bite of the sandwich.�
He�d been using his sick leave to stay with Al, but the colonel was
right, he only had two more days before he would need to return to work...

�I�ll
just apply for �Emergency Family Leave�,� he muttered around his sandwich, glad
that the man had stopped treating him like a sex object long enough for him to
eat his food.� This was only a temporary
respite, but at least it gave him time to think.

The
colonel wrapped his arms around Ed�s waist, idly fingering his wide, brown belt.� �As I recall, your commanding officer needs
to sign off on that.�

Ed
positioned the coffee between his legs again so that he could use both hands
for the sandwich, and frowned at Mustang�s words.� He didn�t even need to look to know there was
a small smirk on the bastard�s face.

�Yeah,
I�d heard that...� he said evenly, then took another bite.

Mustang
sighed; a feigned sigh, Ed was sure...�
�We�ve been given quite a bit of work over these past few weeks, and
another person would really help lift the slack from the rest of us...��

Ed took
another sip of his coffee, then reached over, picked up the bag, and fished a
napkin out of it.� �So, you�re saying
that you�re not going to sign the forms,� he said in a matter of fact voice
while wiping his mouth.� He wasn�t
stupid.� He knew what game the colonel
was playing, and he hated him for it.�

�Well, I
never said that I wouldn�t sign the
papers...� Mustang answered in a sly voice that made Ed want to punch him hard
in the face. �Instead, Ed ate the last
bite of the sandwich and tossed the wrapper in the bag before crumpling the
sack up and throwing it in the general direction of the garbage can.� It was too dark in that corner to know if he�d
made the shot or not; but then, he didn�t really care right now.�

He felt
pressure in his chest as anger and hurt bubbled inside of him.� How could Mustang be such a
slime?� How could he do this to
him at a time like this?� Yet despite
that, he felt humiliation at wanting this to happen.� He craved human contact right now.� He needed
it in a way he couldn�t explain.�

Really,
he disgusted himself.�

�So, what
do you want?� Let�s get to the point,
Mustang,� Ed said.� Taking one last sip
of the coffee, Ed leaned over and put the cup on the small table next to the
couch.� He could pretend like he didn�t
know what the colonel wanted, getting himself some hugging and kissing before
they got to the meat of what Mustang was here for. �The colonel might even get him off if Ed let
him, but his shame was too great right now, and he couldn�t chance Al waking up
while he and Mustang were...

No, he
couldn�t chance that.� No matter how
lonely he felt. �No matter what sick,
depraved part of him wanted the touching and the holding, he couldn�t let this
go on too long in the same room Al was in.�

The
colonel let go and gave him a small push, not hard enough to actually do
anything, but enough that Ed knew Mustang wanted him off his lap.� He stood up and turned around to see Mustang
making himself more comfortable on the couch and
spreading his legs.�

Ed�s lips
tightened in disgust.� This was one of
the things he hated doing most.� He
wanted to be with Al though, and so he�d have to pay the price.� With a resigned sigh, he knelt down and
crawled on his knees until he was between Mustang�s legs, then he reached over
and undid the pants.� He glanced up at
the colonel who was staring languidly down at him, then glanced to where Al was
sleeping.� What if his brother woke up
while he was...

No.

No, it
wouldn�t happen.� He had to tell himself
that.� A small touch on his cheek
reminded him of what he was supposed to be doing.� Turning back to face Mustang, Ed swallowed
hard as the man let his fingers move lightly from Ed�s cheek to the top of his
head.� The colonel petted his head a
couple of times before applying pressure to the back of Ed�s head�a small
thing, but a gesture that meant he wanted Ed to get on with it.�

Draping
himself across the small amount of couch between himself
and the man�s crotch, Ed tentatively stuck out his tongue and dragged it
hesitantly along the underside of the colonel�s erection before letting the tip
of his tongue circle around the head and over the slit.� He tasted bitter-saltiness, and tried not to
grimace.�

It wasn�t
enough that he did this kind of disgusting stuff, but Mustang liked him to
pretend that he enjoyed it as well.�
Usually he did a shitty job at pretending, and the colonel often let him
know how bad of an act it was, but things always seemed to go worse if he
showed how much he didn�t like it.�
That�s when the taunts and the mean words came.�

So,
generally, Ed kept a straight face through it all.� If Mustang told him to moan, he would
moan.� If Mustang wanted him to ask for
it, he asked for it.� It was rarely a
convincing act.� Even if it did feel
good, Ed hated showing it.� He felt dirty
enough when Mustang got him off; showing that it had felt good made him feel
disgustingly filthy.�

There had been one time he�d put on a
convincing act; one time he�d really meant it... but, Ed didn�t like to think
about that night...

Slipping
his mouth over the man�s erection, Ed studiously did all the things the colonel
had taught him to do over the years.� Weaving
his fingers into Ed�s hair, Mustang held on tightly while rocking his hips, and the seventeen-year-old felt a morbid sense of
satisfaction at this and at the fact that the colonel was softly moaning, �Yes,
oh fuck, yes!� Like that, Ed...�� It was much better than, �Ed, this blowjob
sucks ass.� I can�t believe how worthless
you are...� You can�t do anything right,
can you?�

When
Mustang came, Ed involuntarily jerked his head back and gagged.� The foul tasting slime that was spurting into
his mouth seeped to the back of his throat and he desperately wanted to pull
away, spit it out, and rinse his mouth.�
Instead, Mustang held onto his head tightly and commanded, �Swallow.�

Ed fought
the urge to squirm away and reluctantly swallowed.� He hated this part most of all...� When the colonel finally released his head,
Ed quickly got up and rushed to the bathroom where he hastily washed out his
mouth.� No matter how often he�d done
that, he still couldn�t get himself to stand the taste and feel of that stuff
in his mouth.

Glancing
up, Ed looked at himself in the mirror and grimaced.� His eyes were red and bloodshot, and there were
dark shadows under his eyes�all from too little sleep, he supposed.� Water from washing out his mouth dripped from
his chin, reminding him of what he�d just done, and he suddenly felt sick to
his stomach.� Tearing his eyes away from
the mirror, Ed glanced over to the towel and wiped his face with it.�

He didn�t
need a reminder.�

He just
wanted to forget.� He wanted to pretend
that his commanding officer wasn�t a disgusting pervert who had wanted Ed to
give him a blow job in front of his sleeping brother.� He wanted to pretend that he wasn�t being
used to satisfy someone else�s sexual urges.�
Despite the fact that he had a brilliant mind, and he could fight better
than almost anyone he knew, Ed didn�t feel like anything special.� In fact, he felt like a worthless excuse for
life.�

Some
people thought he was great�Fullmetal Alchemist: Hero of the People�but if he
was so great, then why would he let Mustang treat him like this?� He didn�t know, and he just wanted to pretend
that he did know, and that he really
would beat the shit out of the man as soon as he walked out of the bathroom.

Of
course, it was all pretend.� It was all
just a lie.� He really was weak.� He really was worthless.� And, no matter how much he didn�t want it to
continue, Ed would still allow Mustang to use him.� Tears pricked at his eyes.� He�d allow it because there were things that
he wanted, goals he needed to meet, that he couldn�t do without Mustang�s
help...� He was trapped, but he hoped
that after Al woke up they could leave�run away to Rizembool...

Maybe
then he�d be able to live in peace.�
Perhaps he�d be able to get away from all the confusion he felt, away
from all the pain.� Of course, he�d never
be able to get away from himself, but perhaps he�d be a marginally better
person once they went back home.� At
least, he�d be able to pretend... right?

Suddenly
he heard the door to his brother�s room open and close, interrupting his
thoughts.� His head snapped up and he
clenched his teeth together, staring in hurt anger at the door.� So that was it.� Mustang had gotten what he wanted and that
was it.� Taking a deep breath, Ed tried
to push away all the feelings of hurt inside of himself,
tried to make himself feel nothing.� What
did he care if Mustang was gone?� He was
glad the man was gone.� He wished the
colonel would never have shown up in the first place!�

That�s right... Ed thought despondently as he let
himself out of the bathroom.� I never wanted this in the first place...� But despite those thoughts, he couldn�t help
feeling alone and empty.� There has to be something wrong with me... he thought.� Why else would he feel this way?� Shouldn�t he be happy that Mustang had
left?� He did, of course he did, but
there was still some lingering sense that he was being cheated in the worst way...
��

Just what
he didn�t need�more confused thoughts and feelings.

He
glanced over to where the man had been sitting, and saw a tan folder lying on
the couch.� Ed walked to the sofa and sat
down before picking it up and holding it in his hands.� He turned it over once before opening
it.�

Inside
were a couple of forms and a small sticky note attached to the papers.� Ed sighed heavily.� This was his payment; it was what he�d sold
himself for.� Or, at least, this is what
he�d sold himself for this night.� Ed
glanced over to where Al was lying on the bed.�

No...

Al was
what he�d really sold himself for.� He�d
given up so much so that Al could regain his body.� This was just part of it, and in the whole
scheme of things, it really was a small part...�
After a moment, Ed glanced back at the contents of the folder and told
himself that it was worth it.� It was all
worth it... it was... of course it was...�
With a sigh, Ed stopped trying to convince himself, and read the note.�

You were really good tonight.� You�re finally beginning to be worth what I�m
paying you.� These are the forms for the
Emergency Family Leave.� I�ll be back
tomorrow to pick them up.� I expect you�ll
be willing to pay for my signature as well.�

There was
no name, but he didn�t expect there to be one either.� Sighing, Ed took the note and put the folder
aside.� Getting up, he crossed the room
to a small dresser and opened one of the drawers, pulling out a pen and a phone
book.� He blankly tore off the back cover
of the telephone directory, then slowly and
deliberately drew a transmutation circle.�
He didn�t have to, but it was something to concentrate on�better than
thinking about other things...� When he
was done, he placed the note in the center and touched the array.�

Instantly
the paper began to decompose, and soon there was only a small pile of dust on
the phone book backing.� For a moment he
stared at the dust.� He felt cold and
numb, and for a moment, Ed considered using alchemy to end his life, just like
he�d ended the paper�s existence.� Al was
back to normal now...� He�d be just
fine.� He�d have Winry and Aunt Pinako...

His lower
lip trembled slightly as he tried to keep back the confused despair that filled
him.� He didn�t want to pay for Mustang�s
signature tomorrow, but he also knew he would.�
Sometimes, before or after the man had gotten what he wanted, Mustang
would lay there and simply hold him.� It
was those times that Ed wanted�needed�desperately; not necessarily with
Mustang, in fact preferably not with Mustang, but that was all he had...

Al had
been there in the past, of course, and sometimes Ed had snuggled up to his
brother�s metal body, but it had never been the same.� The armor had been cold and empty, and Ed had
felt like he was letting Al down at those times.� He
was the older brother.� Al should come to
him for comfort, not the other way around.�
He was supposed to be strong for his brother.

Ed stared
balefully down at the small pile of ashes.�
Ed loved his brother, yet he couldn�t help feeling angry at Al
too�couldn�t help feeling that this whole situation was partially his brother�s
fault...�

Of
course, that line of thought made him feel extremely guilty and he worked hard
to push those feelings away.� It wasn�t
Al�s fault.� It was his fault.� If he wouldn�t
have tried to bring their mother back, then Al never would have lost his
body.� If Al would have never lost his
body, then Ed would have never had to become a State Alchemist.� If Ed hadn�t ever become a State Alchemist,
then he would have never had to deal with having Mustang as his commanding
officer.� And...
if Mustang would never have been his commanding officer,
then...

Ed
sniffled and blinked his eyes.� All the
evidence pointed to this being his own fault.� It was just something that he�d have to deal
with.� He�d promised to get Al�s body
back, and he�d done what he�d needed to.�
That was all.� Even so, anger always
lay in the background of his mind.� Anger
at Mustang, anger at Al, anger at his mother, anger at his father, anger at
himself, anger at the world...� It was
all there, but he tried to ignore it.�
Letting his anger out hadn�t done him any good before; it was just
better to keep it all inside.�

A tear
trickled slowly down his cheek. He felt so sick to his stomach... He didn�t
want to think about all of this.� He just
wanted some peace.� Was that too much to
ask for?� With a shaking breath, Ed
gently blew the dust away before clapping his hands and making the phone book
whole again.� In the process, he also
rearranged the ink molecules so that they resembled a blob of spilled ink,
rather than an array.� It was better to
leave no evidence.� Better to stave off
any questions before they came.� Better
to keep it secret.�

Just like
his life...� ��

Returning
the phone book, Ed moved over to the couch, laid down,
and rested his arm over his eyes.� He
wanted to sleep but thoughts ran and stumbled in a jumbled heap in his head,
keeping him awake.� Finally, a small sob
broke from him and he turned and curled tightly into a ball.� He just wanted to forget!� He just wanted the thoughts to go away!� He just wanted to escape...� But there was no escape; there was nowhere to
run.� No where was safe, not even his own mind.� He was
trapped, and he just had to deal with it whether he liked it or not...

;-;-;-;-;-;-;

Ed opened
his eyes and blinked as the hospital ceiling came into focus... He was
beginning to hate that damn ceiling...�
He squinted a little.� The sun was
shining brilliantly in through the window, proclaiming that today would be yet
another bright and fucking cheerful day�

He sighed
heavily and laid his arm over his eyes.�
He was so exhausted.� Sleep was coming
more often as he waited by Al�s bedside.�
He�d been so eager at first, so sure that his brother would wake at any
moment that he hadn�t been able to sleep very well... Yet, now he was much less
enthusiastic.� Eight weeks of waiting did
that to a person, he supposed.�

Of
course, it didn�t help that he rarely left Alphonse�s room.� His once tan skin had changed to a lighter,
paler color, making him look as washed out as he felt.� Sometimes Lieutenant Hawkeye brought him
books to read�Ed didn�t want to leave Alphonse even for the short amount of
time it would take to go to the library�and sometimes Colonel Mustang brought
him books.

At first,
Ed had been disgruntled to realize that the books Hawkeye brought him weren�t
nearly as interesting as the ones Mustang brought.� But then, Mustang was an alchemist, so he was
aware of the type of subjects Ed generally studied.� Over time though, Ed realized that if he told
Hawkeye what subjects he liked, then her book choices became more
interesting.� It made him feel much
better to enjoy Hawkeye�s books more.�
Even though he accepted the books, he didn�t like to.� He didn�t like taking anything from
Mustang.� Even when he didn�t have to
�pay� for something that Mustang gave him, Ed hated accepting anything from the
man...

But, even
the books became drab after a while.� It
felt odd because he loved researching and studying�it was a passion of his�yet,
as time passed, he found less joy in what he normally found so exciting.

Now, more
often than not, Ed slept.� After he�d
gotten into the habit of sleeping days away without eating much, the nurses
took it upon themselves to make sure he ate at least one meal a day.� They provided him with three meals a day, but
Ed rarely ate more than one... he just wasn�t interested.

All he
wanted to do anymore was sleep, so that�s what he did.� And what did it matter anyway?� Al never woke, and Ed never went
anywhere.� Every once in a while someone
would visit, though they never stayed long.�
Hawkeye came once every few days, though Ed thought that she felt a
little obligated to do it�perhaps some sort of mothering instinct...

It was Mustang
that visited the most, and the visits got sort of predictable after a
while.� If the man came during the day,
that generally meant that Ed was actually treated like a person.� He didn�t know if that was because the
colonel was afraid of someone walking in, or what, but Ed had to admit,
reluctantly, that those visits were sort of nice.� Mustang never stayed very long, but he would
ask after Al and make intellectual small talk, and Ed would feel a little of
his old excitement over the research come back to him.

It never
lasted long though.

Visits at
night meant that Mustang wanted something from him.� The man had no reservations about locking the
door at night, not that it mattered since the nurses never came in the room at
night.� Ed hated those visits, and at
first he�d tried to simply pretend he was asleep, hoping the man would go away
without bothering him.

It didn�t
work.

Ed always
felt a strong urge to go sleep somewhere else.�
A hotel, the dorms, even the street would be fine... just somewhere that
he wasn�t trapped, unsure if he was going to get a visit from Mustang or
not.�

Ed yawned
and groaned softly.� He felt like shit,
though that could be from not eating enough to sleeping too much, or anything
in between.� He supposed that he�d have
to...�

�Are you
awake?� a young voice asked curiously, breaking into his thoughts.

Startled,
Ed tried to sit up, but given the position he�d been sleeping in, he ended up
falling off the couch and landing heavily on the floor instead.� He groaned loudly, rolled onto his hands and
knees, and rubbed where his hip had connected painfully with the floor.�

That same
young voice started giggling, and Ed quickly scrambled to his feet.� His heart beat quickly as excitement filled
him.� Ed rubbed his eyes when he saw Alphonse
sitting up and staring bright eyed at him�he had to be sure it wasn�t a
dream...

�You�re
funny,� the little boy said while giggling into his hand.

�You�re
awake,� Ed breathed.� His chest
constricted painfully at the realization that what he�d been waiting for had
finally happened.� He�d been so
worried.� He�d thought that his brother might
never wake up.

The boy
nodded and after a few more moments of giggling, he looked around, frowned, and
asked, �Where am I?�� His gaze turned
back to Ed.� �And...who
are you?�

Ed froze
and for a moment his heart seemed to stop beating.� Who was he?�
Those were definitely not the words he�d thought he would hear when Al woke.� Maybe this was a joke?� But then, Al wasn�t the type to play those kinds
of jokes...� Cautiously, Ed answered, �You�re
at the hospital, and... Al... you know who I
am...right?�� He swallowed a lump in his
throat as he waited for Al to answer.

The little,
sandy-haired boy narrowed his eyes and stared at Ed in thoughtful silence.� Ed waited and after a few long minutes, Al
shook his head and gave him an apologetic look.�
At that, the teen quickly walked over to the bed and pulled up a
chair.� Sitting down, he said painfully,
�I�m Ed, Al. �I�m your brother.�

The boy�s
eyes widened and he searched Ed�s face in shock and surprise.� �But...brother is only a year older than
me...you can�t be...�

Another
lump formed in Ed�s throat, and his eyes burned with the threat of tears.� This wasn�t a joke.� Al really didn�t remember...� None of it.� Al didn�t remember any of it...

His mouth
felt dry and he had to swallow a few times before he could speak.� �What�s the last thing you remember?� he
asked in a worried whisper.�

�Me and
brother we were...we were trying to get mom back...� the boy whimpered, then
looked down at his lap and began threading and unthreading his fingers.

With a
sigh, Ed leaned on the bed and said, �We... failed, Al.�� Ed stopped suddenly.� How could he tell his brother all of what
happened?� It was just... it was just too
horrible...� If he didn�t feel that he
had to, Ed wouldn�t.� Al would be much
happier not knowing, but...� A thought
came to him.� His brother was smart and
inquisitive.� He�d find out sooner or
later.� Maybe it would be best if he heard
it from his own brother...

�We
couldn�t bring her back,� he choked out.�
�I...you...I lost your body when it happened, but I managed to attach
your soul to that armor in the corner...��
Ed stopped.� His eyes stung
fiercely with unshed tears and he blinked rapidly to keep them at bay.

Al stared
at him in silent shock, trying to digest it all.�

�It
wasn�t free,� Ed said after a couple moments.�
This was so hard...� �Equivalent
exchange and all...�� He tapped his
leg.� �I lost this when you lost your
body, and I lost this�� He held up his
right arm.� ��when I
attached your soul to the armor.��
When Al only gave him a look of confusion, Ed pulled off his glove and
slid his sleeve down so that his brother could see.

�Automail?� Al asked slowly, a look of horror on his face.�

Ed nodded
and sniffled.� �Yeah.� Aunt Pinako and Winry�s
work.�

Alphonse
gave him a sympathetic look before reaching out and touching it cautiously.� �Did it hurt?� the boy asked softly.� Al�s eyes were moist, and worried sadness was
painted across his face.

Again, Ed
nodded and said quietly, �Yeah, but you know why I got it?�� The boy shook his head and when he blinked,
one small tear trickled down his cheek.� �Because
I needed to find a way to get your soul back to your body, and I couldn�t do that with only one leg and one arm.�

The small
boy�s face crumpled.� �It was my fault?�
Al asked, and his little body shook as a small sob broke from him.�

Ed moved
onto the bed and quickly wrapped his arms around his brother.� It hurt to see his brother so upset.� �No!�
This isn�t your fault!� he cried, his own tears spilling over.� �This was my
fault!� I should never have made you try
human transmutation!� I should have
listened to you!�

�But, you
said...� Al whimpered.

�It was
worth it to give my arm to save you, and it was worth the pain of getting
automail to make you whole again,� Ed whispered fiercely.� �Don�t you ever think otherwise!�� No matter how much Ed doubted some of his
sacrifices at times, he would never
let Al think that what Ed had done for him wasn�t worth it�even if he didn�t
know the whole story...� Ed tightened his
hold on Al, bringing him closer into the embrace.� �I would do anything for you, Al!� You�re
my brother!� I love you so much!�� More
than you�ll ever know... Ed thought desperately.

The two
of them, held each other for a time, how long Ed didn�t know, but finally Al
pulled away and stared up at him with red eyes.�
�How come I can�t remember anything since then?� he asked in a
frightened tone.

�I don�t
know...I wish I did,� Ed whispered hoarsely.�
�I...��

At that
moment, one of the nurses came in.� When
she saw Al was awake, she rushed out of the room.� Ed and Al looked at each other for a moment
before she came bustling back in followed by a couple of doctors who insisted
on doing a few tests.�

Ed gave
Al a regretful look and hesitantly moved out of the way as one of the doctors
began asking his brother questions.� Al
was alive and awake, and for that, the young alchemist was grateful.� Really he was...� But...why couldn�t Al remember anything?� It just didn�t seem fair.� After all they�d gone through together...

He
watched Al with a heaviness in his heart.� After everything, he�d finally put Al�s soul
back in his body, but in doing so, he�d lost his brother again...� The brother he�d traveled with and shared so
much with over the last few years was gone...�
At that thought, he felt a sharp pain in his chest and an overwhelming
feeling of loneliness and loss.�

It was so
unfair...

As much
as he tried to stop them, the tears came, and he quickly got up and hurried to
the bathroom so that Al wouldn�t see.�
Shutting the door, Ed grabbed one of the towels, slid to the floor, and
buried his face in the cloth to muffle his sobbing.

Al had
always been there; had always been a constant source of support, but now... Ed
had little hope his brother�s memory would ever return.� That seemed to have been added into the trade
without their knowledge, or perhaps, without his knowledge.� It was
possible that Al had included that in the bargain without telling Ed, but now
he�d never know...

--

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The Sound of Silence