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The Sound of Silence	By : ZaKai Category: Fullmetal Alchemist > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 11395 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Alchemist, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 10
- 11
- 12
Review Replies:

Leigh: I�m glad to hear
you�ve never been abused in such away.�
Sadly, people who are being abused like that�well it doesn�t happen all
of a sudden.� It�s usually a gradual
thing, as is depicted in this story.�
Mustang didn�t suddenly start trying to have sex with Ed in this story, he befriended him and lulled him in.� The abused don�t generally realize what is
happening and when/if they do, they feel powerless to stop it or they feel too
ashamed.� Sometimes they�re even
threatened.� There are many reasons why
people don�t tell.� radcat: Yeah, it is sad that Ed doesn�t know
that there is a way to get help�a sad situation that, like you said, happens
every day... MustangsHavoc: Thank you.� Amethyst-eyed
Koneko: *hands you tissues*� It really is too bad that Ed doesn�t
ever seem to get a break, not really.�
One thought I had while writing this was, what if Al (in this story)
knew (and how couldn�t he not?) that something wasn�t right?� What if he was feeling hurt and helpless
because he could tell something was
wrong with Ed, but he didn�t know what and Ed wouldn�t tell him?� What if he thought it would be better to not
remember anything than live knowing that the person you were closest with
didn�t trust you and feeling as if you were slowly being alienated from that
person?� Angst-addict: Thank you for your compliments.� I really didn�t want Roy to be a 2D villain because that�s not how
it always is.� It would have been SO much
easier for me to make Roy
seem less human, but I really felt that it would take so much from the story if
I�d done that.� He�s hard to write
though, I�ll tell you that� But anyway, I appreciate your comments on that, and of course all your comments.� Bookworm51485:� I understand.�
I hate this story too at times.�
And, you�re added to the update list.�
TheSoulmater:�
Thank you for your comments and compliments.� It�s been a hard one to write.� You�re a very perceptive reader as well.� And yes, I�ll send you an email when I
update.��

-

The
Sound of Silence

Chapter
Ten

Vicious
Cycle

-

�Yaaaaay!�

Ed looked up from his note pad and smiled a small smile at seeing
Al stretch happily.� He was finally being
released from the hospital, and this was the first time he�d been allowed to
even get out of bed except to go to the bathroom and for physical therapy.� The nurses had needed to help him to the
restroom at first, since his legs weren�t used to walking, and Alphonse had
squawked at having girls help him to
the bathroom.� Luckily for the boy, there
were two male nurses that worked on this floor of the hospital who were willing
to help out.� Al had seemed much more
comfortable with that.

Ed had not.

Each time one of the two nurses came to take Al to the restroom,
Ed�s body tensed and he paid close attention to the amount of time they were in
there.� Not that he thought anything was
going to happen... It was just... he didn�t like it.� That was all.�
For the first week, the nurses had stayed inside the bathroom with Al,
just to be safe, and Ed had felt the need to ask his brother what happened
during those times.

Did they actually watch
him, or did they turn around and give him some privacy, or...� Al had given him a strange look before
telling him that the nurses would turn their backs to him, which made Ed feel
much better about it, but only a little.�
After the first week, the nurses stepped outside the room until Al was
ready for them to help him walk back to the bed and after a couple of weeks his
brother could make it on his own, which made Ed feel a lot better.

The doctors had suggested that perhaps Ed could help out since he
was there all the time, and Al seemed to like that
idea best of all.� He�d agreed, but once
was all he could take.� Even though he�d
had his back to Al the whole time, he couldn�t help feeling fidgety and nervous,
wondering if the hospital staff would think they were in there too long and get
suspicious.� Not that there was anything
to be suspicious of, but he just couldn�t help feeling that way.

�Happy to be going home?� Ed asked when the
doctor turned to talk with a nurse, and Al nodded emphatically.�

They weren�t really going home,
not in the sense of Rizembool, but Ed had called around and, with Hawkeye�s
help, he�d been able to find a small, two bedroom apartment in Central.� He could have done it himself, but he hadn�t
wanted to leave Al.� He was always
nervous about leaving him alone in a place with so many people he didn�t know.� Never know what could happen without someone
trustworthy around...

So he�d asked the lieutenant for her help.� She was the only one he�d felt that he could
really trust, and she had been really nice and helpful about it.� Even so, Ed planned on changing the locks as
soon as he could, just in case Mustang had gotten ahold
of the key somehow.�

Ed turned his attention back to the doctor and finished listening to
him give instructions.� Al was on several
different medications that needed to be taken at specific times and some
shouldn�t be taken together because they decreased the effectiveness of other
ones.� Al also needed to be taken in for
exams and physical therapy on specific days.�

He sighed.� It was all such
a pain, but he supposed it was worth it.�
He�d planned on going back to Rizembool once Al woke, but right now it
just wasn�t possible.� That rural
community didn�t have the medical facilities that his brother needed right now,
and, of course, to pay for it all, Ed needed a job... and the military had
excellent medical benefits...

So, much to his displeasure, Ed decided to stay with the military
until Al was strong enough.� His
brother�s frail condition also meant that traveling was out of the question, so
Ed had sent in a request to be stationed permanently at Central Headquarters.� Unfortunately, to be approved, he�d needed to
go through Mustang.�

Of course, there had been a price to pay, and so he�d begged the
lieutenant to stay with Al while he ran some �errands�.� Given everything he�d been doing from the
hospital, it didn�t seem so suspicious that he�d need to go do a few things in
person, so Hawkeye had agreed.�

In the end, not only had his request been accepted, but Mustang
had gone through some extra effort to get him a research position in which
quite a bit of it could be done from home.�
Ed simply lumped that part in with the payment
he�d given for the request. �He didn�t
like it when the colonel did things just to be nice.� It ate away at the view he had of the man.

After collecting all the paperwork and instructions from the
doctor and slipping them neatly into the notebook, Ed waved to Al for him to
come to him.� �Are you ready?� he asked.

�Yep!� Al said enthusiastically.�

�Okay,� Ed said with a grin.�
As they started down the hall, Al grabbed onto his empty hand causing Ed
to jerk and look down in surprise.� The
small boy was looking up at him happily and Ed gave him a wary smile back
before glancing around nervously.� Was it
okay for him to hold Al�s hand?� Was that
normal?� Fighting the urge to pull his
hand away, Ed thought about how happy his brother looked.� No one would think anything of it, surely...
at least, he hoped not.��

�What does our house look like, brother?� Al asked in
excitement.�

�Oh, well, um... it�s not really a house... it�s just a small apartment...� he answered, feeling a
little embarrassed about having to admit that.�
He hadn�t been able to afford more...�
Since they usually spent all his earnings as they traveled, Ed had
hardly had much money saved to begin with, but then he�d also had to pay for
some of the hospital expenses up front, so... ��I just got one for while you recuperate,� Ed
explained, trying to make up for what he viewed as inadequate.� �We always traveled a lot, so we didn�t need
a permanent place.�

�Oh...well, what about our house in Rizembool?� Al asked, looking
confused and concerned.

Ed stopped walking for a moment and stared down at his brother
before saying quietly, �We burned it when we left, but when you get better,
then we�ll go back and rebuild it, okay?�

Alphonse stared at him in shock for a moment, then
whispered, �What about all of dad�s books?�

Ed frowned deeply at the question.�
How long had it been since he�d thought of his father?� He didn�t know.� Was Hohenheim still alive out there?� And what if he was?� What if he suddenly came back into their
lives?� Would he be able to take on the
responsibility of Alphonse�s medical bills?�
Would Ed be able to leave the military after all?�

He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts.� Their father wasn�t coming home.� He�d abandoned them long ago, and Ed had
learned that he couldn�t trust in hope.� He�d
hoped that his mother would get well, but she hadn�t.� He�d hoped that when Al got his body back,
his brother would be whole again, but his brother wasn�t whole...� He�d hoped that he�d be able to leave the
military once they reached their goal.�
He could cross that hope out as well.�
And the hope of getting away from Mustang?�

Ed blew out his breath bitterly.�
Hope only brought disappointment.�
No, he could hardly hope that his bastardly father would miraculously
show up and save them from the situation they were in.

�Gone,� Ed replied flatly to the question about the books, then
started walking again before snapping an impersonal, �Sorry.�� He said the apology, but he didn�t feel
it.� As much as he appreciated the books
his father had owned, Ed felt a vindictive satisfaction at knowing that he�d
burned something that had been so valuable to his father... something that had
been more valuable to that bastard than his own family...�

Truly, he hated the man.� If
Hohenheim had never left, then maybe their mother wouldn�t have died, and if
she wouldn�t have died, then...� Ed
pressed his lips together and pushed the thoughts away.� That train of thought had played in his mind
time and time again.� He knew it by
heart.

They walked in silence for a few minutes before Ed looked down at
Al.� The boy�s lips were turned down in a
worried and sad looking frown, making Ed regret his harshness earlier.� Clearing his throat, Ed said with a
cheerfulness he didn�t feel, �Don�t worry, I have access to a lot of books�some
of the best books in Amestris. �I�ll
check them out and let you read to your heart�s content.� That okay?�

Al glanced up at him and studied his face for a moment before
looking away and saying, �I guess... but they won�t be dad�s books.�

Ed frowned irritably.� Who
the hell cared whose books they were?�
Books were books.� But there
wasn�t anything he could do about that, so he simply kept quiet.� As they walked out of the hospital, the teen
looked around for Hawkeye�s car, or rather the state car she drove.� When he saw it, he started for it, but
faltered when he saw that Hawkeye wasn�t in the car.� Instead, Jean Havoc waved at them from the
driver�s side window.

Ed hurried down to the car with Al in tow.� �Where�s Hawkeye?� he asked, trying to sound
neutral to the situation, but failing miserably.� ��

�The colonel needed her for something, so I got sent instead,� he drawled
easily around his cigarette.� �Hop on
in,� he said, directing them with a motion of his thumb.� Scowling at the second lieutenant�s
cigarette, Ed reached out and plucked it from his mouth and flicked it away.� Alphonse was very sensitive to things like
that right now, and Ed didn�t want to chance his brother having any sort of
relapse.� The last thing he needed was
for Al to be hospitalized again.� After
spending so much time in that building, Ed hated the fucking place with a
passion.� Besides, he really couldn�t
afford what they were charging him... ��

�Hey!� Havoc protested loudly, but quieted when he saw Ed�s
glare.� The taller man cleared his throat,
finally understanding, and turned around in his seat to look at the small boy
climbing into the back.� �Sorry, kid.�

�That�s okay,� Al said cheerfully.�
Ed grunted in annoyance and scooted into the seat next to his brother.� He wouldn�t have had this problem if it would
have been Hawkeye who had come.� It
wasn�t that he didn�t like Havoc, it was just that he
felt more comfortable with Hawkeye...

Al yawned and blinked at the teen before laying his head on Ed�s
lap.� �I�m tired...� Al whined wearily.� Ed stiffened at the contact, not sure what to
do.� Should he make his brother sit back
up?� Al was still really weak and the
doctor had said he�d probably need a lot of small naps...� Clumsily, Ed pushed his brother away from his
body and closer to his knee, but Al scooted back, seeming to snuggle even
closer to him.�

�Aww, that�s so cute,� Havoc said,
glancing back at him through the rearview mirror.�

�Is it okay?� Ed asked nervously.�
It wasn�t that he didn�t like Al touching him�he kind of wanted to hug his
brother and snuggle with him�but it made him feel a little uneasy.� Usually only Mustang touched him, and even
when Ed had snuggled up to his brother before, it wasn�t the same... it hadn�t
been flesh and blood...

Yet, even that wasn�t what made Ed so uneasy.� It was the fear that came from the
touch.� Was it natural?� Was it okay to have Al on his lap?� Even though he didn�t want to think of it,
images of himself with his head close to Mustang�s crotch, and what he did in
that position, came to mind making him feel sick and anxious at the way Al was
snuggling so near.

�Yeah, don�t worry, we�re not going very fast,� Havoc said easily.� �Even if I had to stop suddenly, you could
grab him quickly enough so that he didn�t fly forward.�� Ed glanced down at his brother.� That wasn�t the answer he�d been looking for,
but since Havoc didn�t seem to think there was anything weird about it, then
there probably wasn�t.�

Unless...

Ed stared at the back of Havoc�s head and narrowed his eyes.� The man did seem to get along well with
Mustang... what if he had the same kind of...�
He shook his head, trying to clear his mind of such suspicious thoughts,
and tried to think of something more pleasant.

He looked down at Al again and gently brushed Al�s bangs away from
his face before smoothing his brother�s hair back.� Another memory slammed into him of being
petted almost the same way and Ed quickly pulled his hand away and pressed his
fingers against his forehead.� Fear
flooded through him as he analyzed his actions.�
He hadn�t meant anything by the way he was touching Al.� Was it wrong?�
Was there a better way to be affectionate to his brother without it
seeming like something it wasn�t?� What
things were innocent?� What things were
okay?�

Taking a deep breath, Ed opted for putting one arm stiffly at his
side, and the other cautiously holding onto Al�s back to keep him from sliding
off his lap when they came to a stop.�
Yet, even then he was careful how he held onto Al�s back, just in
case.� He didn�t want to do anything wrong...

;-;-;-;-;-;-;

�Here we are!� Havoc announced as he opened the front door for Ed
and Al to go in.� The younger boy
instantly dashed into the apartment to look around, not paying any attention to
Ed�s shouted reminder not to overwork himself.� Havoc grinned and held out the key for the
teen to take.� Grabbing it, Ed let
himself inside and looked around in confusion.�

He�d been wondering what they�d do for furniture until he had
enough money to buy something, but the front room already had a couch and a
chair, and a small table with two chairs sat in the undersized dining area.� Frowning, Ed walked into the tiny kitchen and
opened the cupboards to find them stocked with food and dishes.

�What�s going on?� he asked in bewilderment as he made his way to
the fridge.�

�Well, seems the colonel wasn�t too happy about being left out of
helping you find a place, so he insisted on buying a few things,� Havoc
explained easily.

Mustang had bought all this...?�
Ed glanced in the fridge and scowled before shutting it and walking back
to the lieutenant.� �I don�t want
anything from him,� Ed said tightly.� He
felt angry that this had all come from Mustang, and humiliated that he�d been
viewed as a charity case.� �Is there any way
to take it all back?�

The taller man frowned and said, �That�s pretty ungrateful of you,
chief.�

�I don�t care,� he answered back angrily.� He didn�t want anything from anyone,
especially not Mustang.� He could provide
for himself.� He had a job.� He could save up for whatever they needed.

Ed scowled at the furniture in the front room before turning down
the short hall that led to the rest of the apartment.� He glanced into the smaller of the two
bedrooms to see a twin bed with bedding splashed in bright blues, greens,
yellows, and oranges.� There was also a
small combination bookshelf and writing desk meant for someone Al�s age.� The closet was open and he saw a row of
hangers hanging on the bar, and below that a small dresser.� The furniture was... nice. �Very
nice.� Much nicer than Ed would have been
able to buy with all the medical bills he had and what he was paying for the
apartment and...

Ed grunted, trying not to think about his finances and walked into
the other room.� His face turned down to
a scowl when he saw his room.� A queen
sized bed with deep red and black bedding was positioned with its head against
the middle of the far wall.� A
bookshelf�filled with books no less�was against another wall.� A large desk was placed neatly into a corner
opposite the bed.

Ed�s scowl deepened as he realized that the desk was very, very, nice.� Not one Ed would have even considered for
himself at all.� And the bed!� What the hell did he need such a large bed
for?!

�This place is great!�
Al shouted from where he was sitting in the middle of the bed. �Ed gave his brother a forced smile as he
walked toward the bookshelf to examine the books.� His breathing grew heavy and forced as he
realized that all the books and research materials he�d need for his new
position were there.� He supposed he
should be grateful, but he didn�t feel that way at all.

Turning around, he walked over to Havoc who was leaning against
the door frame.� Ed opened his mouth,
ready to demand that everything be taken out of his apartment immediately,
when the tall man pulled out a sealed envelope and handed it to Ed.��

�From the colonel,� Havoc muttered, looking displeased with the
way Ed was reacting.� Swiping it, Ed had
a strong urge to tear it up, but instead he stalked into the other room and
slammed the door shut. Sitting down on the small
bed, Ed sighed heavily and stared dully at the envelope.

He didn�t want to open it.�
He didn�t want to know what Mustang had to say...� Ed flopped back on the bed and stared at the
ceiling.� He could hear Al asking what
was wrong, and Lieutenant Havoc giving him some lame ass excuse before engaging
the boy in some sort of word game.�

Ed chewed on his bottom lip.�
What if he didn�t open it?� What
if he just crumpled it up and threw it away?�
Nothing Mustang had to say was that important anyway, right?� Ed wanted to convince himself of that, but he
knew otherwise.� He was pretty sure
Mustang had something to say, and even though Ed was sure he wouldn�t like it,
he knew better than to ignore the man.

Ed lifted the envelope in front of his eyes and watched it bend
down at one end.� Ed�s eyebrows knit
together and he gripped that side with his other hand.� There was something small and hard in
there... something that felt like...�
Frowning, Ed sat up and ripped open the envelope.� Turning it over, Ed watched as a key slid out
along with a folded piece of paper.

Digging in his pocket, Ed pulled out the key Havoc had given him
and compared them.� They were
identical.� This filled Ed with an
unspeakable rage.� How the hell had Mustang gotten a key to his apartment?!

Grabbing the paper, Ed unfolded it and angrily scanned over what
was written.�

Fullmetal Alchemist Major
Edward Elric,

I hope you like the
furnishings.� The food should last you a
couple of weeks.� I�ve already paid your
utilities for this month as well.�

I�m returning the key
Lieutenant Hawkeye loaned me.� I didn�t
make a copy, in case you were wondering.

I wasn�t sure what
size of bed to get you, so I went with �queen�.�
You may need a larger bed than your brother.

Come visit me some
time after you�re settled and we can talk.�
Take care and we�ll see you at the office on Monday.

Flame Alchemist Colonel
Roy Mustang

Ed growled furiously.� He
was definitely getting the locks
changed.� And what did the man mean by
saying he�d need a larger bed than Al?�
He didn�t even want to know...� He
rescanned the letter.� It was written on
the official letterhead and was written so damn formally, but Ed knew... Ed saw
right through it.� He read over it one
last time and grunted.� So they can
�talk�?� Ed pressed his lips together
tightly.� Was Mustang implying that he owed
him for these gifts too?

Angrily, Ed crumpled up the paper.�

Well, fuck him, Ed thought.� He hadn�t asked
for the man to buy him furniture or food, and if Mustang would have asked if he
wanted help, Ed would have said �no�.� He
scowled down at the paper in his hands and gritted his teeth.� He really
wanted to throw everything out, but he wouldn�t...� It wouldn�t be fair to Al...� His brother deserved more than an empty
apartment, but Ed didn�t have enough money to give that to him.

Ed swallowed and tightened his grip on the paper.� He wished desperately that they could just go
back to Rizembool, but even if Rizembool had as good of a hospital as Central
did, there was no way they�d be able to go there.� There was no job Ed could do that would pay
him even close to what the military paid.

Trapped.

He felt so trapped.

He felt pressure in his chest and a lump formed in his
throat.� He wanted to cry, but he held
the tears at bay.� There was no way he
was going to cry with Havoc here, and Al would be afraid...

Taking a deep breath to calm himself, Ed pressed
his lips together before standing and starting toward the door.� He tightly squeezed the crumpled up paper in
his hands and made a decision.� He would
accept Mustang�s gifts.� He would swallow
his pride and accept them because he didn�t want Al to be without, but he had
no intention of paying for them.

;-;-;-;-;-;-;

�Brother?�

Ed groaned as he was forced awake and turned onto his side.� Opening his eyes, he peered blearily through
the darkness and saw Al standing beside the bed with a frightened look on his
face.

�Huh?� What?� he asked
groggily.

�I had a bad dream.� Can I
sleep with you?� Al begged.

�Eh?� Ed mumbled and blinked, trying to put everything in
focus.� He�d been in a deep sleep, and
being waken so suddenly left him feeling dazed.� He stared at Al�s pleading face for a moment
before sighing and nodding his head tiredly.�
He was too exhausted to try sending Al back to his own bed.� With Ed�s consent, Al hurriedly climbed onto
the bed and under the covers.� Ed closed
eyes and muttered sleepily, �Just be sure to stay on that side.��

In the last three weeks, Ed had practically worn himself out.� Besides the research and various reports he
was required to do for work, Ed had also needed to take Al to doctor
appointments and physical therapy sessions practically every day.� He�d also had to run Al to the emergency room
on five different occasions.� Once had
been from an allergic reaction he had from something he ate, but the others had
all come about from Al being too rowdy.� His
brother seemed to want to play as if he was completely well, but he wasn�t, and
his body couldn�t keep up.

Then there was the fact that Al wanted to spend almost every waking
moment with him.� Ed had needed to
explain that it wasn�t like when they were kids.� Ed just couldn�t play with him all day
long.� He had work he needed to do.� Al had been disappointed, but had taken it
pretty well and settled on reading and other quiet activities while Ed was
working.�

But Al was never very far away, and often he was closer than Ed
would like.� If Ed got up and went to a
different room, Al would go with him.� If
Ed and Al were in the same room together, Al would inch closer and closer to Ed
until he couldn�t possibly get any nearer.�
If they were walking together, Al would grab Ed�s hand or simply walk so
close that they were touching.

It was all very distressing to Ed.�
He couldn�t remember his brother ever being so clingy before, and
wondered if it was because Al was in such a new situation.� It must be scary to have everything changed
so drastically...� He did remember Al hugging mom a lot, but
that was different.� He was Al�s brother, not his mom.�

As if the amount of closeness they had during the day wasn�t
enough, every night Al would beg Ed to let him sleep with him, and every night
Ed would refuse.� When they were little
they�d shared a bed, but this was different.�
At seventeen, Ed was a man now, or at least
close to it, and Al was just a little boy.�
It just didn�t seem right for them to share a bed; and besides, what if
Al told someone he was sleeping in the same bed as Ed?� What would they think was going on between
them?� What if...� No, better just to make his
brother stay in his own bed.

Ed opened his eyes again when he felt Al scooting closer to him
and scowled. ��Al, I told you to stay on
your own side,� Ed grumbled irritably.

�But brother...� Al
whimpered pitifully.� �I�m afraid.�

�Of what?� Ed growled.

�I had a bad dream about before... you know, about when we tried
to bring mom back...� Al whispered.

Ed lifted his head and stared at the little boy with tired eyes
before letting out a heavy sigh of defeat.�
He still had nightmares about that too...� Lying back down, he moved the pillow over his
automail arm, then let Al lay his head on the pillow
and snuggle next to his chest.� Ed
stiffened at the close contact, but gradually he let himself relax.� He was much too tired for all of this...�

In an effort to find a more comfortable position, Ed wrapped his
other arm around Al�s body, scooting him in a little closer, then
sighed wearily.� His brother was just so
warm...� It really did feel nice to have
someone next to him... Closing his eyes, Ed rubbed his brother�s back softly.� The small body next to him snuggled even more
deeply and Ed absentmindedly kissed his brother�s cheek.� He was so soft... Ed thought he could get
lost in that and let his lips trail down to Al�s neck.

His breathing quickened and he felt the start of desire in his
groin.� His tired mind told him that Al
was safe.� Al loved him and wouldn�t
leave him, or treat him badly.� His hand
seemed to take a life of its own and traveled down his brother�s pajamas.�

It was then that warning bells went off in the back of his
head.� Opening his eyes, Ed realized that
he had gone from kissing Al�s cheek, to kissing his neck, to licking his ear,
and then to trailing kisses down his brother�s front.� His hand had wandered from its innocent
rubbing of Al�s back, to the boy�s thigh, and was now on Al�s rear.

His brother was looking up at him with wide, confused eyes, and
when he saw that Ed was looking at him, he mewled a
puzzled, �Brother?�

�Oh, God...� Ed cried in horror to a deity he didn�t believe in,
then turned quickly, got out of the bed, and ran for the bathroom.

�Brother?� Al called after him, panic and worry threading through
his voice.

Without answering, Ed rushed into the dark bathroom and slammed
the door behind him.� He pressed his back
against the door and let his body slide down until he was sitting on the
floor.� Wrapping his arms around himself,
Ed tried to stop his body from trembling, but it was no use.

What he�d done... that was definitely
wrong.� What he�d done was bad!�
How could he have done that?! �Why
had he done that?� Ed didn�t know.� He couldn�t even remember.� His eyes stung both from how tired he was and
also from the threat of tears.� He�d been
touching his brother like that!� In that way...� He�d...
he... Just like Mustang...

Ed clenched his teeth together and looked wide-eyed around the
dark bathroom.� His eyes were filling up
with tears and his chest burned with his pent up anguish.� How could he have done that?!� He blinked and the tears escaped, dripping
heavily down his face.� He sucked air in
through his nose and through his clenched teeth, as he tried to keep in the
sobbing that wanted to come out.� But in
doing so he wasn�t getting enough air, and Ed knew that he wasn�t going to be
able to hold this back for much longer.

A timid knock sounded on the door followed by a whimpered,
�Brother?�� Ed squeezed his knees tightly
to his chest and buried his head in them.�
�Brother, are you mad at me?� Al whimpered.

The sob finally escaped him and he squeezed his eyes shut.� No, of course he wasn�t mad at his
brother.� He was mad at himself.� He�d been afraid that something like that
would happen, afraid that he would cross the line somehow, and now he had.� How could he possibly look his brother in the
eyes again?

After a minute of silence, Al said softly, �I�m sorry,
brother...� I didn�t mean to do anything
bad...�

At that, Ed�s head snapped up and his eyes popped open.� Rushing to his knees, Ed pulled open the door
to see his ten-year-old brother standing in the hall looking completely
dejected.� Grabbing Al�s shoulders, Ed
shook him roughly while looking up into the boy�s worried face.

�No!� It�s not your fault!� he sobbed heavily.� �It�s my
fault!� I�m the bad one, not you!��
He refused to let his brother think it was his fault when it wasn�t. �It was Ed�s fault.� Everything was his fault...

He saw tears form in his brother�s eyes and Ed wondered if it was
from being shaken or from seeing his older brother in hysterics.� Trying to calm himself,
but failing miserably, Ed shifted on his knees and rested his head on his
brother�s chest.�

�Al... I�m sorry.� I... What
I did was wrong... Will you forgive me?� he begged tearfully.� He couldn�t let this lie between them.� He didn�t want his brother to hate him like
he hated Mustang.�

�I guess so, but I�m not really sure what you did wrong...� Al
said in a bewildered tone.

Ed sniffed and looked back up at his brother.� �What I was doing... I shouldn�t have... you know, the touching and stuff...�� He couldn�t bring himself to say it out
right.� It was too humiliating.� Al was smart.�
He�d understand what Ed was talking about...right?� �If I ever, well... do anything that makes
you feel... strange, you should tell me to stop, okay?�

He looked hopefully into Al�s eyes.� His brother would know what was wrong,
right?� Al would know what made him feel
funny... right?� He�d leave it to Al to
say if he was doing something wrong...

�Okay...� Al murmured, looking at him with a frown.� �Are you alright now?�

Not wanting to worry his brother, and feeling that he was a little
more under control, Ed nodded and shakily got to his feet.� �I�m fine...� he said through shuddering
breaths. ��Let�s just...�� He stopped.�
What should he do?� Should he make
Al go to his own bed?� Ed looked down at
the boy, saw fear radiating from his eyes, and knew there was no way he�d get
Al to sleep in his own bed tonight...�
�Let�s just go to bed,� he murmured, feeling horribly empty inside.

He walked despondently back to his bed and laid
down.� He could hear Al getting in on the
other side.� Resisting the urge to yell
at him to go back to his own room, or even worse the conflicting desire to hold
him again, Ed curled up into a ball and held the covers tightly in his hands.�

For a while there was silence between them, each of them lying on
their own side of the bed, and though Ed tried to sleep, he couldn�t.� There were too many thoughts all jumbled in
his head.� Now that the initial shock had
worn off, another emotion filled him.

Fear.

What if Al told someone what happened?� What if someone found out?� What would happen?� Would he lose his job?� Would Al get taken away from him?� What if Winry and Pinako found out?� He could imagine the looks of disgust on
their faces...

Swallowing hard, Ed looked over at his brother.� The boy�s eyes were closed, but his breathing
gave him away. �Al?� Ed whispered quietly.

Al�s eyes opened and he stared at Ed for a moment before saying
hesitantly, �Yes, brother?�

Ed paused, wondering if he should do this, but then the fear
gripped him again and a small amount of panic started to set in.� Finally, he made his decision and nervously whispered
his request, �Don�t tell anyone.� Okay?�� Al stared wordlessly at him, and as the
silence grew, so did his fears.� �You
have to promise me, Al,� Ed pressed, then paused.

His pushing was only making Al afraid, that wasn�t what Ed wanted
at all... Taking a deep breath, Ed gave Al a small reassuring smile then said
with a lightness he didn�t feel, �I won�t tell if you promise not to.� Just... just a secret between us... what do
you think?�

As if Ed�s tone change was a switch, Al visibly relaxed and
nodded.� �Okay,� Al whispered.

With his brother�s assurance, the fear and panic subsided
somewhat�not all the way, but enough.�
Unfortunately, the conversation left a bad taste in his mouth and he
felt sick to his stomach.� There was just
something horribly familiar about it, but he couldn�t quite put his finger on what
it was...

--

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The Sound of Silence