College

Hi sorry about the wait I hadn’t been around to do more chapters but I have finally done one so enjoy.

Chapter 15

Kai felt awful telling Rai what he knew, he couldn’t keep such a big secret from him. He had found the article about what happened those few years ago in a box full of things that he had. He had been going through them when he came upon it. When he saw the name Rai Kon and how his sister had been killed. He couldn’t believe it, Kai wasn’t sure what to do either tell Rai that he knew the killer or just forget about it.

Of course Kai decided to tell Rai what he knew even though he knew that Rai might hate him afterwards. Kai thought to himself why did he tell Rai was it because he cared about Rai so much that he didn’t want to hide anything from him. Or was it because he was having second thoughts about this whole relationship thing. Kai sat on the grass on the college grounds looking up at the dark starry sky. ‘I wonder what it would be like to go up their and be away free from everything’ he thought to himself. He laid down and put his hands behind his head ‘everything was perfect before he came into my life’ he thought.

“I hate it having feelings they can really screw your life sometimes, why is it that I had to fall for him” he said to himself. “FUCK” he yelled sitting up and punching his hand into the ground “why does this have to happen to me, being in love with someone is suppose to make you happy but for me its all screwed up, how can I be with him when I don’t even know if I want to” he said to himself. Kai was getting so confused he cares deeply for Rai however he is mixed up with his feelings. Even though Rai told him that he wants to be with him and even when they made love together. Kai was sure that he wanted to be with Rai but there is just this one part inside him which makes him think differently.

He was sure if he should listen his head or his heart, many people say you should listen to your heart and not your head. With Kai that is a whole different story, his whole life he has always listened to his head. He had never cared or loved anyone since his parents past away when he was just a kid. He might have slept with a few girls but none of them meant anything to him. For the first time in his entire life though their was someone he cared about. Unfortunately he was afraid that he might hurt Rai and that was something he didn’t want. He could tell how much Rai loved and cared about him. The one thing he didn’t understand was that how come it was so hard for him to do the same.

Being in love with someone was a different step for Kai because he had never been in love before. He had ever told Rai that he loved him even though Rai had told him a few times. Kai thought that saying ‘I love you’ to the person you care about, would be easy. Not for him though and that was something that had to change.

Kai stood up and was about to head back to the dorms when he saw Rai standing a few feet away from him. “Rai”, “I realise why you told me, and to say the truth I was glad you told me but I don’t hate you besides you and I didn’t even know each other back then” Rai said. “I can tell that you are still not sure about this relationship and I know that no matter how many times I say I love you I can tell that not even that will sort out the feelings you have, to be in love with someone but yet not sure if they should can make someone really confused and afraid I can always see it in your eyes Kai, I want what we have together to work but if you don’t want it I completely understand” Rai told him.

Kai just stood their taking everything in what Rai had just said. He didn’t know what to think was Rai saying that he needs to make a choice. He could tell by the look in Rai’s eyes that Rai wanted to know what he wants. Their where only two choices for Kai, 1. He will stay with Rai and 2. He will tell Rai its over. Kai cares about Rai but could he make Rai happy and would he be happy. Or even though he cares about him will he end it for Rai’s sake and his own.

Their was only one choice and it was a very hard choice to make. He never thought that love could be so complicated sometimes. It seemed like everything around him had completely frozen and was now a stand still. Their where a million things running through his head and his heart was beating so fast. Kai just looked at Rai the words he wanted to say just didn’t want to come out. “Rai you know how much I care about you I really want to be with you its just that I am not use to this, ever since my parents died I have never cared or loved anyone, ever since then I had promised myself never to love anyone and just focus on what lies a head of me which is acting, but” he was about to continue when Rai put his hand up to Kai’s lip to silence him.

“Kai I don’t want to force you into something your not sure of, love isn’t something you can buy and then throw away so easily, I might not understand the situation you are going through but what I do understand is that my love for you is more pure than water itself” Rai told him. He then put his hand up to the side of Kai’s face. “I know how much acting means to you and it will be a great future for you as well I just don’t want to be the one holding you back” he then slid his hand down to his side.

Kai watched him walk of back to the dorms what was he to do. He didn’t want Rai to think he was the one holding him back. No that was himself he knew now though that he had to focus on college first. That what he was going to do and maybe some day he can stop pushing Rai away.

Five weeks went by as if the term fast forward itself and the relationship between Kai and Rai was, well not going all that well. A few days after they had that chat on the lawn five weeks ago, Rai had asked if he could move into a different dorm room. Luckily their was one room which was available. Rai had moved straight in, he thought that being in separate dorm rooms would be best for the both of them. Kai was surprised when Rai told him he was going into another room.

They would sometimes pass each other in the hall way or on the college grounds and wouldn’t say anything. In the classes they had together if they were partnered up they would do what they had to do. They hadn’t mentioned anything about their so called relationship about half a term ago. It was as if it had never happened, how could two people who care about each other not wanting to discuss about it. They both just completely ignored the topic all together. People around them could see that their was a whole difference between them. They didn’t act like they hated each other anymore. Everyone thought it was strange, Max and the others thought it was weird how Rai would never mention Kai pissing him of or anything.

Rai tells Kai how much he loves him and then he ends up moving out. Kai says he cares about Rai but has no clue what the hell to do about it. Was Rai right was it just a one time fling and now its been all forgotten. Maybe they should have just left things as they where when they first met. Always arguing and calling each other names, how come it was never all that simple.

Max had decided to talk to Rai alone about what has been bothering him for the last few weeks. “Hey Rai you in their” Max knocked on Rai’s door “coming” he heard Rai from inside. Rai opened the door “oh hey Max come on in”. “Is their something you needed” Rai asked him, “I came to ask you something” Max turned around and faced him. “Oh well ok what is it” he asked Max. “Rai what’s wrong what has been bothering you” he asked him, “nothing” Rai obviously lied. Rai walked over to the couch and sat down “Rai I know your lying, please I want to help you” Max said. “I told you theirs nothing wrong and I don’t need any help” Rai replied. “It’s Kai isn’t it” Rai looked straight at him. “Why would you think that” Rai stood up and headed over to the kitchen.

“What other explanation is their, first you move into a different room, second you haven’t had a single fight with him, third when ever you see him you just ignore him and fourth you have been completely miserable, so don’t tell me there is nothing wrong” Max told him. “I might not know what went on between the two of you but I am sure about one thing I know this evolves around him some how so please Rai tell me, we are friends and when ever a friend has something on their mind they should at least talk to them” Max said.

Rai just stood their in the middle of the lounge “even if I told you there is no way that you can help me Max” Rai replied. He turned around to look at Max “you are right something has been bothering me but it isn’t something that can just clean up on its own” Rai said. “Then tell me and maybe there is away” Max said back. Rai sighed “very well but if I tell you, you must promise not to tell the others or anyone else” Rai told him. “I promise”, Rai sat back down on the couch he couldn’t believe he was going to tell Max about him and Kai.

Rai went through the entire story from start to finish, Max was surprised to hear that Rai and Kai where a couple. Of course hearing that it didn’t completely work between the two was a bit disappointing. Though he was amazed how Rai was able to tell him all this and understood why he didn’t want the others to know. “That’s what happened” Rai finished “I see my that is a problem but why would Kai say he cared about you and then decide not to stay with you” Max said. “Actually I changed rooms before Kai could really give me an answer so because I moved out he might have thought that we should end it” Rai told Max. “Then why didn’t you tell him the reason why you thought it would be better if you moved into another room then” Max asked him. “I don’t know really I guess I thought that maybe it was a good idea to have some space between us” Rai said.

“Then what about when you told him at the holiday house that you weren’t going to let him get away was that all just a lie” Max asked. “What do you mean” Rai asked him “you told Kai that you wouldn’t let him go correct” Max said. “Yeah” Rai replied “then tell me why have you, when you love someone you want to be with them, you don’t just run away if there is a problem you stay with that person and face it together, so what if Kai is all confused he told you how he feels doesn’t that count and of course their will be problems along the way but you must face them together, so don’t tell me that after all those moments you shared with him your just going to forget them and let him go, that is not the way to do it Rai you should go up to Kai and tell him what you really feel” Max told him.

Rai couldn’t believe what Max had just said but inside he knew that Max was right. Running away wasn’t the answer, he loved Kai with all his heart and he didn’t care if people found out or if Kai decides to refuse him, he was not going to give up so easily and Max had just helped him realise that. “Max you are so right I am such a stupid idiot I told Kai I wouldn’t ever let him go and that I would keep what we have together forever” Rai said. He stood up “I’m going to find Kai and tell him what I feel I don’t care if he’s with friends or in class I am going to tell him right not” Rai said. He then ran out the dorm room, Max just smiled ‘it’s about time you do something Rai’ Max thought. “Man I might have know those two where together all along but geez I cant believe it took five weeks for Rai to figure it out with my help of course” Max said to himself.

Max had known that those two were together because he both saw them leaving the dorm room together with suitcases, when they where going to the holiday house. Max kept it to himself, he knew that Rai wouldn’t want anyone to know of course. He wanted Rai to tell him what was wrong even though he knew. He thought it would be better for to wait until Rai would feel alright to tell him. Even though he knew he was still a bit surprised about the whole story Rai told him. “If they don’t patch this up I don’t know what to do” Max told himself.

Authors Note

Will Rai and Kai patch things up and were do you think Rai will find Kai, well you will just have to read the next chapter to find out.

Another one coming soon