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Bejiita Unattached	By : RenaSama Category: Dragon Ball Z > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 3098 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own DragonballZ, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 15
- 16
Bejiita - Unattached

Author: Rena "Sama" / 'the light'

Contact: soaringshadow@yahoo.co>

Date Written: 5-02-04 through 06-05-04

Rated: Strong R

Warnings: Yaoi, rather lemony, lil angsty, steamy, language. Intelligent Gokuu. Enjoy ^^

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Just using the characters for my own amusement. So don't sue!

| ...words... | denotes thought.

===

With my back on the wooden floor boards I pant, thinking I might die if I don't get some air into my lungs. Bejiita lies next to me, just watching my face as I gasp for air. Licking my seed off his fingers. Leaning down to catch the few droplets his hand missed. I watch helplessly as he laps at the pearly substance that still clung to the skin on my inner thigh. His bright pink tongue a sharp contrast to my pale skin. Still incredibly sensitive after reaching orgasm, I shudder violently when he licks a drop from the tip of my penis. It still had some life in it, even after all that. He smacks his lips, leering at me and smiling as I plead with him to let me catch my breath.

The minutes pass and my head stops spinning. The temperature of the room comes back down to a tolerable level. My breath finally evening out. Still lying on the floor, Bejiita curls on his side next to me, resting his cheek against my stomach. His arms wrapped around my middle even as he drifts into much needed sleep. Still afraid to let go.

I lie there half awake, rubbing his back, lacking the strength to lift us to the bed. Staring up at the ceiling, I wonder what to about my child.

===

Part 16

With my face pressed against his stomach, and the air cooling my damp skin, I wonder to myself about the tears in my eyes. In the past, thoughts of Kakarotto and sex always ended in tears of sorrow and frustration. Bitter resentment of my own situation. After we'd finally 'found each other' and worked passed all that, love making was, if anything, followed by pleasant lethargy and tears of joy.

But not today.

The past euphoria still humming through my body, doesn't seem to reach my mind. No tears of joy, just tears. The kind I used to shed after I'd indulged in my "bad habit." Back when I couldn't have what I wanted, and lacked the means to get it.

But... I have who I want.

Kakarotto is right here.

| So why am I still crying? |

Kakarotto's breath had evened out, and he'd fallen asleep soundly some minutes ago. The air wafting past the sheer curtains and his thumping heart near my ear are the only sounds in the room. My lids become too heavy tld uld up. Lethargy is replaced by tiredness. Lost in my own thoughts I drift into a restless sleep.

===

"...You were right ... Bejiita..."

===

(dream)

I tighten my laces on my light weight sneakers and dig the spiked tip into the red asphalt. A giant red oval with numbered, white, painted lanes surround me. Sickeningly green grass in the middle, where my son and Goten root and cheer for me, waving flags with my name on them from stark white bleachers. I smirk at them and look down at the number sewn into my maroon shirt. No 1. Of course. My lane number matching that of my shirt.

Trunks 'boos' as my opponent finally arrives. Black hair swept up from her face in a tight bun on the top of her head. A No. 5** patch sewn into her shirt. I give her a dark and disdainful glare. She doesn't even look at me. Her gaze is at the finish line. Just past the yellow tape is Kakarotto, smiling in his tried and true orange gi. He sits in the middle of lane No. 3 eating apples. Red ones. Juicy ones.

Gohan in a black and white striped shirt is off to the side of the track. He raises his arm and points a small black pistol towards the sky. We lean down and get into position. I keep my eyes on Kakarotto. He plucks another applom tom the bunch on his lap. He bites through the deep red skin, rolling the chunk on his tongue before swallowing. He holds the apple in his hand up, displaying it so I can see the bite mark he's made. He smiles at me. Beckoning.

Gohan cocks the pistol before pulling the trigger. The usually small explosion in the barrel of the gun needed to release the bullet is almost deafening. We take off like a shot.

I'm not allow to fly or use excessive amounts of ki. But naturally, I'm still much faster than her. I sprint with ease until half way through the race when the track is interrupted by an obstacle course. It's not much of one. Small hurdles pop up out of the asphalt. I leap over few before continuing on. However the hurdles make it impossible to run at full speed, and Chichi seems to be closing the gap. But I'm still pretty confident in my victory.

More hurdles. More jumping. Each forcing me to jump higher and higher, which becomes increasingly more difficult without the use of my ki. For the first time in a while, I curse myself for having such short legs. The hurdles continue to rise and I really have to fight to get over them. Sweat beads up like dew on my forehead. A grimace of effort.

I look over to see how my 'opponent' is fairing, when I notice her lower abdomen beginning to swell out. Odd. Instead of her hurdles growing in size, they get smaller and smaller until she doesn't need to jump over them at all.

"Oh that's hardly fair!!" I yell indignantly in Gohan's direction. He's supposed to be some sort of referee for this!! He just shrugs and puts his hands in the air as if to say 'well whaddya gonna do?'

Idiot.

I sneer at him. "Ugh! Useless!" I say knowing he can't hear me. He just smirks at me as if he knows something I don't.

I concentrate on the race, and the next hurdle. But Chichi is passing me, and accelerating at an alarming rate. When the race should be harder for her, it only got easier, and got nearly impossible for me!

She's almost to the finish line when I reach my last hurdle. I have to crane my neck to see the top of it. A stream of harsh expletives make their way out of my mouth as Chichi breaks the yellow tape. I'm still stuck climbing the side of this ridiculous he. e.

Kakarotto just sits there in shock, mouth agape. I look on in anger and helplessness as Chichi runs over to him, hugging him and laughing. Laughing at me. He stands up. The apples in his lap tumbling down his body and rolling onto the crimson clay of the track. Forgotten. Chichi snatches the apple roughly from his hand and takes a large, vicious bite over when he'd bitten it a little while ago. As her teeth sink into the flesh of the apple, I feel an excruciating pain in my chest. My brow furls, and I cringe as I realize even if I had made it over this last hurdle, I would not have won.

She pulls Kakarotto by the arm and he reluctantly follows. He looks back over his shoulder at me. Sadness and disappointment bleeding out of his inky depths. Whimpering like a hurt pup. God I really hate when he makes that sound.

I stare in horror. Did I really just lose? Me? I laugh to myself. A sick little chuckle, could almost be confused for a cough.

I've lost. That empty feeling. Hollow coldness. Lost something very important.

| Is this some sort of joke...? |

How the hell could I lose!?

Kakarotto is pulled further and further away. I run around that last hurdle. The race is over, these bull shit rules no longer apply!!. Using my ki this time, I take off after him. Pumping my legs furiously, but still getting nowhere.

"N..no! Don't go! This isn't over!!!"

Feeling panicked and bit sick, I force myself to pick up the pace. But no matter how fast I go I can't quite catch him. I almost manage to grab Kakarotto's arm. He's close enough for me to see the whites of his eyes. Hope gleams in them and he reaches for me.

My fingers pass right through his hand. As if he were never there at all. An illusion.

"W...what?!"

Anger. Bitter helplessness. I always manage to forget how awful that feels. Hot liquid burning my eyes.

"Don't go!.."

| How many tears, how much blood and pride have I shed for this man? |

But it's never enough...

"...Don't leave...

me..."

"..."

I wake up in a cold sweat. The pain in my chest had not dulled, and was only matched by the pain in my eyes as the bright sun's rays flood into the room. It's much brighter out than when I normally wake up. Did I oversleep? I never oversleep! I roll over expecting to see the hard wooden floor I'd fallen asleep on, but instead I find thick white sheets and a flat pillow. Expecting to find a warm body next to me. Shining dark eyes. Ki slowly rising as he comes out of his slumber. A sleepy smile first thing in the morning. A hand running through my hair. A growling, hungry stomach and a sheepish grin.

But there were none. Kakarotto is not here. Judging from the coolness of the spot on the bed next to me, he hadn't been for quite some time.

It didn't take long for me to figure out what happened. I look up, but not at anything in particular.

"Bastard... Bastard!!!" I yell breathing heavily, seething. Angry at him. Angry at myself. At everything. At everyone. Deep down I knew he would go. I knew it was a bit too good to be true. When am I ever happy for long periods of time?! It was stupid of me to think that this time would be different! Fingers gripping the sides of my head as it starts to throb under the weight of my own rage. I grind my teeth.

He's not getting away that easily! Just have to find him... calm down and look...

I push the feeling down for a moment to try to locate his ki. But I can't. He's hiding it. Hiding from me. I feel even more nauseous than before.

Pushing the feeling down even further.

I don't need to locate his ki. I know where he is...

===

Goten had decided to sleep over yet again. Not that I minded of course. "Mom's been extra cranky lately! And now that she's hit the second trimester she eats the oddest things!!" He complains as we make our way to the kitchen. Grandma Bunni made pancakes, and the aroma drew us to them like a siren. When we arrive, Goten attacks his plate like a mad-man.

"Mmph! This is the first edible meal I've had in days!!" he says in between bites, still shoveling pancake bits into his mouth.

"Um Goten you still have to chew you know..." I say making a face. He smiles around an entire pancake before swallowing it whole and grinning sheepishly. It's funny how similar he is to his dad at times. Speaking of which, I wonder how he and tousan are. Gokuu's ki is barely there and Dad's has been popping up all over the place for the past hour. I wonder what's going on?

===

I arrive at his old Mt Paouza home in a flash. I don't think I've ever flown this fast before. I don't take the time to congratulate myself as I unceremoniously rip the wooden door off its hinges and fling it behind me. I storm in and look around wildly for a blur of orange and a spiky head, ready to cast accusing eyes, point fingers and demand an explanation. To my chagrin, there's no one here. I look around and see a plate with half eaten food, orange juice, a jar of pickles, and a pint of cookies n' cream. No Kakarotto, not his old bitch, not even Goten.

And as meticulous as Kakarotto said Chichi was, she would not have left food and ice cream out like that. Which means she left very unexpectedly. I know Kakarotto had to be here. I can still sense traces of his ki. Though that may be from years of living here before. In the end I still have no idea where he... where they are. And I still can't find his ki.

| He couldn't have vanished into thin air! |

But then I remember, with that instant transmition of his, he could have done just that.

He could literally be anywhere... And I don't have a clue as to when he'll be back...

That feeling returns in full force.

===

"Chichi! We need to talk!!" I say as I burst into my old house unannounced and pull her out of her seat.

"GAh!... G..Gokuu! What the hell is wrong with you!? You don't need to rush in here like a lunatic, if you want to talk just come in here like a normal person and.."

I cut her off, my slight panic making me lose my patience. Not that I ever had much to begin with. "No. We have to leave right now. He doesn't know I'm go-.."

"What?! Why can't we talk here?"

I contemplated that. But then I realize how dangerous that can be. I remember how angry Bejiita was when I even mentioned talking to her before.

"No we can't stay here. You don't know what Bejiita will do when he realizes I'm gone and finds me here with you!"

Looking a bit fearful, she covers up her worry with a snide remark. "Hnn. Jealous and violent. You sure know how to pick em' Gokuu..." I don't spare her another glance as I I.T. us away.

| I've been here 5 minutes and she's already insulting me. Is this how people act when they want someone back? |

Time and space blur and we appear at Kami's look out.

"Why did we need to go here? If your boyfriend's looking for you he can just fly here and find youesn'esn't he read ki like everyone else?"

"True but he can't find us in there..." I say more to myself than anything.

"In there? Where? What are you tal-"

"Oh Gokuu! What brings you here today?" Dende asks walking up, with Mr. Popo not far behind.

"Oh hello Chichi, long time no see."

I put an end to all the pleasantries. "Dende. I need to use the hyperbolic time chamber for a little bit."

"The time chamber? But.. Buu destroyed it a few yearo. Ro. Remember?"

"AAh I forgot!" I say slapping myself in the forehead. "Hn... well never mind then.. See ya." I say before I.T. out again.

"...What was that about..?"

Popo just shrugs and goes back to sweeping.

===

After another whirl wind trip through time and space, we arrive at Namek.

Chichi, looking a bit dizzy backs away from me and looks around. I forget that she never actually got to see Namek. This new Namek looks a lot like the old one. Though, I didn�t get to see all that much of it when I was here last. Too busy dealing with the Ginyu force and Furiiza. That seems so long ago now.

Chichi sits down carefully in the dark green grass. Moving gets increasingly more difficult as the child grows. She turns to me now.

"Well you wanted to talk. So talk. Have you thought about what I said?"

===

Goten challenges me to yet another game. I don't even know why he bothers. This is the 15th game in a row now. And about to be the 15th game he's lost to me.

A scant few seconds later "YOU LOSE!" flashes on his side of the screen.

"Damn!! I almost had you though!!"

"No you didn't!"

"Okay! Okay! Next round decides it. Winner takes all!"

"Geez man give it up! You know you're not gonna win!"

Another round. More cars. More lily pads. More logs. More frogs. Another victory for me.

"You know what!? F@*& this game!" he says throwing the controller down in disdain, pouting before slapping his hands over his mouth. He looks around wildly for my mother. Who absolutely never tolerated profanity in this house. Especially from Goten and me. Normally if even a partial swear was uttered, she would just appear ready to dish out some sort of punishment or a "long talk." But not today.

"Relax Goten. Mom's out with her psychiatrist."

Goten, less worried now, "how is she anyway? Seems like she's always out seeing her psychiatrist when I come over."

"Yea at first I though he was just helping her through this break up."

"He?"

"Though she is a lot better now."

"So shouldn't she be seeing less and less of him if she's better?"

"Well that's the thing. They go out almost every day now."

"...I see..."

"Well as long as she's better ne?"

Goten nods in agreement. Then for a moment there was an eerie silence.

"Hey Trunks... you feel t..."..."

Dad's ki had shot up. Again. At first I thought they were at it. Again. But Gokuu's ki wasn't near dad's. In fact, I couldn't sense Gokuu's anywhere.

Odd.

===

I fly almost blindly now. Uncaring of where I am or of anything that might have been in my way. Roads, cars and grass are torn up or flung to the side. The world parts around me in my mad search for him. This really isn't the first time I've gone to such lengths to find him. I fly to everywhere I can think of. Go to every place there was even the slimest chance of him being. Nothing. But my rampant search is cut short by that damn namek.

Shit. I must have flown past that rock he lives under. Maybe he'll be of some use to me.

"Bejiita!! What the hell are you doing?!! Do you know how much--" Of course I'm not listening.

"Shut up and tell me where he is!" I say very slowly. This is all the patience I can muster.

"What?"

"Kakarotto. Tell me where he is!"

He stood there looking at me like I had nine heads.

A frown.

"I can't sense his ki anywhere..." Pikkoro says looking less confused and more worried.

A grimace.

"Why don't you calm down and tell me what happened." Pikkoro states looking pissed now.

A sneer.

"I woke up and he was gone! I went to his old house to find him. I know he's with that bitch, but they weren't there either! I can't read his ki and I have no fucking clue where to look anymore!!!!

===

I watch the little prince go off on another of his temper tantrums. I haven't seen one of these in a while. But when I do, it usually has to do with Gokuu. I thought his obsession with Gokuu had finally calmed down. But now that they're... together, I suppose that obsession turned to possessiveness.

"That bastard just took off again like he always does!!" Bejiita fumes, not really talking to me anymore, but himself. I suppose as long as I keep him talking he can't do any more damage, or scare anymore people. As minutes of his tirade and endless profanity go by, I watch his face change fromer, er, to frustration, to pain.

"Baka. I know Gokuu has a history of running off at the drop of a hat, but I don't think this is one of those times and-" But of course he wasn't paying me any mind. His anger towards Gokuu and Chichi slowly turned towards himself. He may annoy the helt oft of me, but it's kind of sad to see him this way.

"If he'd just left alone it wouldn't have been so bad... Or left me for his old friends... his old life..." He whispers to himself.

"But to leave for her..." he never finished. His eyes slipped closed and his ki dropped. Without the energy holding him up he plummets towards the ground at an alarming rate. I fly down to catch him. I sigh and shake my head. I know Son well enough to know better than that.

"Damn idiot and all his dramatics. Worrying over nothing..."

Another sigh. I sling his small, unconscious body over my shoulder and decide to take him to Trunks. He can keep an eye on him. Make sure the "prince" doesn't hurt himself.

I snort.

===

Dad's ki fluxuated erratically before it just dropped suddenly. Now I'm worried.

"I think we need to go find out what's wrong."

"Trunks what the hell's going on with your da-.."

There was an annoying number of rings at the front door before someone just kicked it in. Heavy footsteps and a few surprised yelps sounded through the house until surprisingly Pikkoro came in with dad slung over his shoulder like a rag doll.

"P..Pikkoro..! What happened to my Dad!?! Were you sparring?!"

Pikkoro rolls his eyes as he deposits Dad on the couch. He huffs. Muttering to himself about having to come way out here.

"Gokuu's no where to be found, Chichi's probably with him. He actually thinks Son would leave him so easily. Needless to say this one here didn't take the news too well." he says pointing in Dad's general direction.

That explains a lot.

I look at Dad passed out on the couch, looking miserable even in his sleep.

Poor thing.

===

Gokuu and I finally got to talk. We talked about our old life together. Some of the problems we've had in the past. About how much things have changed. About that assh-... about Bejiita. We calmly discussed the future of our child, and our future. But things didn't go at all like I hoped.

Gokuu turns to me again and places a hand on my stomach. "I'll be there when you are born. I'll be there when you take your first steps, say your first words, go to your first day at school. I'll be there whenever you need me." He says this and I realized I'd never seen him so serious or sincere in all my life. Has that bastard Bejiita really changed him so much?

"I won't be around all the time..." he continues "But they'll alwae a e a place for you in my heart..."

He pauses and looks up at me. A hopeful look in my eyes.

"But not for you..."

"..."

We may have discussed our future. But it turns out, we don't have one... My chance, my sliver of hope that we could be happy together again, sank down to the floor, bled and died.

He walked over to me, placed a hand on my shoulder and two fingers to his forehead. The green sky spun around us before it was replaced by the wooden ceiling of my house.

| I left the ice cream out, and the door appears to be broken. I guess I'll worry about that later. |

Somewhat disoriented and upset, my ears rang. "But not for you..." There was no place in his heart for me. Not anymore. Not sure if there ever was...

"Gokuu....I.. " I began. My voice sounded so pained and small. I didn't realize how much hearing that could hurt.

"As the mother of my children I'll always respect you. But there are too many awful things done or said that just can't be fixed by raising another child."

I hung my head. Because for the first time I realized he was right.

"I'm leaving..."

I blinked back my tears. "Where are you going?"

| Do I really even need to ask? |

"Home"

A knot in my throat. My last chance.

"But you're already here... This is your home."

He turns his back to me. A trait he must have picked up from him.

"Not anymore."

===

I wake with a pain radiating from the back of my head. Bastard Namek. Bastard Kakarotto and his stupid wife. But the anger I feel is really towards myself. Making an ass of myself in front of everyone. Worrying like a fool. Worrying in vain.

"Dad are you all right?" Trunks asks. Goten not far behind him.

I nod. Not really looking up. Feeling like an idiot. With the tattered remains of my dignity, I walk to the window and take off. Flying for what felt like an eternity crammed into an hour.

I land at the tree. Our tree. Watching the sun climb higher into the sky, I mull over my own thoughts.

Kakarotto does love me. But he may love his old life, his old family, his friends adoration, and their familiarity more. I suppose it was me who should have been asking if I was worth all he gave up. He had so much more to lose by loving me.

Not that it matters now.

I leank agk against the old oak, and sit in the grass where we do all sparing, where we consummated our new life together, truthfully unworried now. Smiling to myself. It doesn't matter where he goes, nor how long he's gone. I'm as sure of this now as I am in knowing there is royal blood coursing through my veins.

He's still mine after all. He always will be. Funny I went out of may way to tell him that, when I wasn't sure of it myself.

He'll come back, making me see what a fool I've been for thinking otherwise.

I settle a little more comfortably against the wood, the tall, uncut grass molding around me. I'll just sit right here and wait until he gets back.

He'll be back.

Any minute now.

Any minute...

...

===

In fact.

I think I see him already.

I stand as he lands in front of me. The tall grass parting and flattening out from the exertion of ki to slow his descent.

He looks at me, a small, enigmatic smile on his face. I feel angry. Annoyed. Like I should still be pissed at him for leaving without telling me. For making me question myself. For worrying me. Even though the worry was a bit unjustified. I scowl even as he wraps his arms around me and pulls me to his broad chest. Petting my head like some damn, sniffling, child that needs comforting. I make a face against his sternum even as I enjoy the feeling of his fingers through my hair. His steady heartbeat against just under my ear. The cool breeze through my clothes.

I realized it was just impossible to stay mad at him. Even with all my uncertainty, and all the unanswered questions. I'm sure he knows what they are. Where do we stand? What about this child of his? What about Chichi?

What about me?

I could see him smile without even looking. Have we always communicated this way?

"It's gonna be a girl. I'm sure of it," he says softly into my hair.

"By the way, what are you making for dinner tonight...?"

That's all he says. Somehow telling me everything I need to know in those simple, carefree words. Only he could pull that off. Only he could straighten everything out. Only he could right all the wrongs of this world and the next with the lightest of touches. I let out a sigh, and wrap my arms around him as well. Giving up on being angry at my own occasional neediness, and willing away my resistance to the small pleasure of being held.

A pause.

"Wait... it's your turn to cook..." I answer.

FIN.

I hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing this fic. It took me over a year, but it's finally finished. But I don't feel sad. I usually do when I finish a long fic. But since I made this ending quirky, poignant and open ended it doesn't have that definitive feeling of and END you know? It's more like a "and things go on" sort fo thing. And of course leaving the opportunity for small asides, sequel and what not.

Thanks for reading! ^^

** No. 5 . In the dream sequence, Chichi is wearing the No. 5 t-shirt in the race. In Japanese the kanji for the number 5 is "Go." It�s the same kanji used to spell the first part of Gokuu's name. It was kind of a commentary on Chichi racing for 5, "go" or Gokuu, while Bejiita, No. 1 was racing for himself. And that's part of why he lost.
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