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[ Himitsu ]	By : RenaSama Category: Dragon Ball Z > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 5507 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own DragonballZ, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 15
- 16
- 17
Himitsu

Author: Rena "Sama" / 'the light'

Contact: soaringshadow@yahoo.com

Date Posted: 2-20-06

Rated: NC-17

Warnings: kink, fetish, very lemony, het, yaoi, steamy, language. Enjoy ^^

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Just using the characters for my own amusement. So don't sue!

| ...words... | denotes thought.

Notes: This fic is inspired by some artwork I'd done recenly, "Sunset Kink" There
is actually a lot of story behind that pic that you may, or may not have picked up on.
So here it is.

[ Chapter .15 ]

The week is a blur in my memory as Thursday finally arrives. The house bustles and thrums
with energy as everyone scrambles to get ready. Not sure why everyone is in such a frazzled state.
Bulma and Dr. Briefs are the ones putting on the show. We just have to show up, gawk, eat, clap and
leave. Maybe I'm just not as enthused for a different reason.

"Gokuu!! Are you ready yet!? Let me see how you look!" Chichi bellows from upstairs. I've been
ready for an hour now. Sitting on the couch in gun metal grey slacks and a loose white button up shirt.
Trying desperately not to wrinkle it before we even get there.

"Coming!" I say as I bound up the stairs so Chichi can inspect me. She gives me the look over
with her hands on her hips. Circling me once, then again from the opposite direction. Then, she smiles.

"We're ready," she says with a decisive nod.

[ ..... ]

I just have to stand in a sort of stupefied awe at the sheer number and bizarre appearance
of the inventions the collective minds at Capsule Corp have dreamt up this time. Not to mention the enormity
of the crowd. Everyone is here. Well... almost everyone. People I haven't seen in ages. Some I've never seen
at all. The heads or 'talent scouts' of other companies looking for that next big thing to associate their own
companies or products with. Hoping for business deals and mergers and all that other corporate jargon Bulma
used to tell me about when I...visited.

It's been a while since I've had the pleasure of a lavish Capsule Corp. style affair. Bulma, always
wanting to top herself, spared no expense. The fountains, the high polished floors, the marble and the music.
Oh and the spread. Just the amount and variety of food is to die for.

"Oooh Dad's already eye humping the food! Everyone get some now before it's all gone~!" Goten yelled
obnoxiously towards no one in particular. A few people laughed, having heard about my antics from the
shindig CC threw last year. Goten swipes a chicken leg and gets lost in the crowd. No doubt looking
for his lavender haired friend to make some sort of mischief. I'd lost track of Chichi after she spotted a
new device that would revolutionize housework forever. But require our entire life savings to buy.

I continue walking around, just taking it all in. Everything is so shiny and so new. So different and
weird and wonderful. The entire show is planned and coordinated from the deep red curtains that block
the stage of the main attractions, all the way down to the CC logo imprinted into the gold napkins rings.
They tied every loose end, dotted every 'i' and crossed every "t." Nothing is left undone to assure
absolute success. She deserves it. Every clap, all the kudos, every zeni and every business deal this
party brings her and her brilliant father.

In the mean time, I'm gonna help myself to some of this shrimp.

[ ..... ]

I sit at a table absently rubbing my full belly. To say the exhibition was an astounding success
would be an understatement. I don't think I've ever see Bulma smile quite that much. She makes her rounds
through the gathering, stopping to chat with every group or party she can find. Each holding toasts in her
and the company's honor, demanding she drink with them each time. Her laughter drifts around the marble
pillars and floods of compliments. I couldn't be happier for her.

By the end as the guests begin to make their way to their cars and homes, they all collect their
so called "party favors" before they leave. Turns out it's a capsule with a miniaturized version of the
"Lefliptor." One of her qwerkier inventions that involves jet propulsion, splitting atoms, gas power
and m-theory and... uhh... well ok I have no idea. And a catalogue of everything shown at the Gizmo
Show and when it'll be made available to the public. Always the entrepreneur that one.

More and more people clear out. Only very close friends stay longer. Kuririn offering
more congratulations and 18 pulling him away when it became apparent that he's had too much
champagne. Eventually even they leave and I am left with my little family and the clean up crew.

Well actually, Goten is no where to be found as usual, and Chichi is a complete lightweight. She
can't hold her liquor at all! She sits face down at a table at the far end of the hall with only two champagne
glasses around her, waiting for the room to stop spinning.

"Uhhh Chichi you all right?" I ask rubbing her back and thanking Kami I never drink.

"Mhmmh..nmmnf ...hic." she mumbles then begins snoring almost immediately.

"Aaah betta jus' let huh sleep it off." A man with a surprisingly strong accent says as he
clears the dishes from the table around her.

"Aww too bad! I wanted to show you guys some of the other stuff that wasn't part of the
show." Bulma says nudging at the drunk Chichi.

"Maybe next time," she says as she takes off her suede high heeled shoes and flexes
her tired feet.

"Can I see then?"

Bulma just looks at me for a moment, holding her shoe in her hand.

"Sure!"

She shows me the way, sauntering down the corridor yet holding onto the wall as
if she needed it to walk. Her fingers looped through the backs of her shoes as they dangle from
her tiny hands as she wobbles again. She may have had more to drink than I realize. I'm amazed
how completely coherent she looks and sounds otherwise. But what do I know about being drunk?

[ ..... ]

As she shows me her new, but incomplete invention and prattles on about the oh so
complicated procedures and new formulas she'd used to accomplish such a 'tremendous task,' she
slowly realizes I'm hardly listening. Just smiling and nodding from time to time but my focus is
clearly on her.

"Son kun!" she says pulling me from me fixed gaze on her face. "My invention is that way,"
she says almost laughing and pointing across the room. Covering a hiccup with her delicate hand.

"Heh." A sheepish grin.

It felt like forever since I'd last seen her. Even though it wasn't. But it had been a long
time since I could see her, really look at her without restraint or being wary of Bejiita's
...possessiveness. Her navy, crushed velvet dress a perfect counter for her mesmerizing blue
eyes. My god just look at her...

"Must you stare so hard?" she whispers. Her cheeks take on the color of pink roses.

"Sorry ... sometimes I forget how beautiful you are..."

Yup. That was probably the smoothest thing I've ever said. She gives me the strangest
look then. As if she were almost heartbroken. I just stare into her wide, cerulean eyes that
never ceased to fascinate me. They look so very sad and I wonder what it is I've done to upset her.
Then there's a quick flutter of movement, warmth and wetness.

Her small hands grasp the sides of my face as she kisses me. A deep, sweltering kiss. A kiss I'd
never once gotten from Chichi. Her hands are cool and her lips are warm. Moist. Yielding. Like some
sort of pastry. Her face burns bright red and her half lidded eyes look frightened and aroused all at once
as she pushes her tongue in my mouth. I'm frozen in place, completely caught in the moment. She trembles
lightly, pressing herself against me just before quickly trying to push me away. Coming to life, I suddenly
pull her to me. She tastes delicious! Like strawberries, wine and Bejiita. I could even smell him on her skin.
Even in her hair. Like he somehow permeated her every pore. As if they'd been... together very recently...

Oh the images that come to mind then!

A giddy little shudder passes through me. "MmMmiimhh!" Bulma moans something into my mouth,
this only makes me groan and press her up against the wall. Her eyes widening even more.

"That's right Kakarotto. Be a good boy and we'll make you happy..." I can almost hear Bejiita's
voice in my ear, encouraging me.

"You must truly have a death wish to touch what isn't yours..."

| Fuck. |

My eyes snap open at the voice I knew all too well and my fantasy world comes crashing
down on me. I'm not sure if it's excitement or fear I'm feeling but that�s all the warning I get.
Bejiita roughly pushes Bulma out of the way an instant before punching me in he back of the head.
Hard. Very hard. The impact makes my vision black out and launches me forward through several walls
until my face is embedded in the snow outside the rounded Capsule Corp. building.

I try to breathe around the frosted grass, dirt and blood gushing from my nose, ignoring the
shocked onlookers and women and their startled screams. Men fighting and crashing through walls, in
this city, everyone should be used to-

"GAH!" Bejiita is on me in a second! He grabs a fistful of my hair and yanks my head back
out of the crater it had created. People flee the scene as the blood leaking from my nose creates a blotchy red,
arc across the otherwise pristine, powdery snow. Bejiita's eyes bore into mine with an intensity I've never seen.
Wordlessly conveying all the things he thought but would never say. His mouth pulled back into a sickened sneer.
Like he was just disgusted by me, beyond himself with rage. Hurt. Betrayed.

...Jealous ...

The people have gone and all that can be heard is the sound of falling snow. Bejiita is completely
silent and seething. Watching me move and try in vain to pull my hair from his grasp. I can feel the warring
emotions pouring out of him. Glaring at me. The utter and complete disdain and pain I see in his eyes makes
me sick to my stomach.

| Why do I do these things to myself? I wasn't my fault was it? Why... I feel like I've almost been set up... |

I strain to turn my head against the pressure on my scalp. Looking up through my frost covered bangs
at his face warily. I don't want to but I do it anyway. Wondering what sort of heinous punishment he would
think to dish out this time. Wasn't forbidding me from watching and being around them punishment enough?
Wasn't my wanting and never having him enough? Weren't my self delusions in thinking making good with my
wife would erase all my other problems enough? Wasn't every drop of blood or semen I shed because
of him; every stroke of masturbation enough?

Of course not.

Any pain he may inflict on me now wouldn't even be comparable to what he feels.

He throws my head down abruptly. My vision swims a little as I try to stand awkwardly.

"Get up!"

"..."

"Get up so I can put you back down."

Unlike our other wars, this one is over before it even has a chance to begin. But for a different
reason than you may be thinking. I'm barely aware of it as it happens. Fists fall against my face and head
like rain, making my vision hazy and my perception distorted. My body practically being tossed through the
air like a rag doll. In a brief lapse between blows, I speed away quickly, trying to collect my thoughts. Get
my bearings enough to strategize some sort of offense. Approach this like it was any other fight and not for
what it really was.

No such luck. I don't get nearly as far away as I'd like before a hands wraps around my ankle
like steel bands.

"NH!"

"Running away?"

I try to kick his hand off me.

"Are you running again!?" he spits venomously, his breath creating wisps of white as he huffs.

Of course. All we did was run from each other.

He hurls me towards the ground by my leg. I crash through tall, snow covered evergreens and by
some miracle I stop myself before I collide with the ground. Breathing in the arctic air harshly, already
bruised and aching in many places after mere minutes of a vicious one sided battle, an elbow smashes into
my cheekbone. My new clothes already ruined with gore and violence. Blood spews from my mouth and I'm
thrown back several feet before the object of my unending desire rams me down to the cold, white ground
and holds me there. Pinning me down with his own weight. He suddenly feels so very heavy.

He grabs me by my hair again, pulling the locks until my eyes water. Getting right in my face. The
unfathomable pain and rage that rolls behind his murderous eyes frightens me.

"How could you...?" he whispers. The words sounding like a hoarse croak. His eyes saying more
than he would allow himself to utter.

"..."

I want so much to say 'I'm sorry.' But I don't. No amount of apology would be enough. He doesn't
want to hear my sorrys or my guilt. How could I explain it all to him anyway? How could he know that kissing
Bulma only made me think of him? That I was more confused now than I'd ever been. That I despised and
desired him at the same time?

He would never understand because I barely understand myself. Maybe I don't deserve to be happy...

"How ...could.. you...!!?!" He's so angry he's actually shaking. The veins on his arms and forehead
stand out in sharp relief. My hair is taut in his fingers as he nearly rips it out by the roots. Pulling my head
back. Leaning in until his breath is a warm puff of frosted air against my face. Until I can see just how
striking he really is. Until I can smell the sweat and hate and the want roll off his skin.

Until he lowers his lips to mine and he kisses me abruptly.

"!!!?"

Time freezes and his lips burn. It's a small kiss. A slow, angry and yet, unapologetically erotic kiss.
A kiss that steals the breath from me. He tears his mouth away a short time later. The hairs on my arms
stand up. I just begin to notice that I'm trembling. I look into his dark eyes and my stomach flutters and
coils. I'm breathing very deeply. I swallow thickly, waiting for the ringing in my ears to stop.

Oh... he shouldn't have done that...

The blood rushes down between my legs all at once. After the kiss. As if it were some delayed
reaction. I snap out of my almost dream like state when I realize what he... we're doing.

"I hate you...!" he says in quiet rage over the frantic beating of my heart as he leans down to
kiss me again.

| But I shouldn't... we can't...! |

| Yes yes! Oh god once more!...|

| What am I doing!? |

"Rggh!" I struggle and pull my head from his grasp before trying to roll away. I fail. I'm on my
back again in an instant and I punch him in the jaw. Not missing a beat, he punches me right back before
grabbing the sides of my face. He grunts as I shove at his warm chest. I only succeed in delaying him for
an instant before he covers my lips with his. "Unh!!!!" The nerves under my skin spark like fire all at once
and the hands shoving at his chest cease their efforts in favor of resting against the warm, solid form
above me.

"Unn.."

| No! No! No! |

I squirm and whimper and plead for him not to do this with my body. Not to make me go down a
road from which I can never return. Do what can never be undone. | I've resisted for so long! Why now!? |
My mind screams for me to stop even as I push myself against the taut muscles of his thigh. Self restraint is
my worst enemy and my only hope now. I knew sparring would not be enough. Our all out wars were not
enough. The burn between his legs and mine makes that all too clear.

I move on instinct against my own conscious will. My fingers dig into his back of their own accord,
tearing blue fabric as he kisses me roughly. Grunting. Attacking me with his mouth. Teeth nipping and pulling.
Lips bruising. Tongues coiling. Our second kiss is a rageful, ravenous, harsh sort of kiss. It pains yet, pleases
us so much to give in. All our efforts were for naught, because in the end...

We couldn't resist.

We both knew it. In the deepest, darkest parts of our minds, we always knew. You also must have
known this would happen some day. It was just a matter of when. How.

I had an itch and he scratched it.

As much as I want this... it's absolutely infuriating because it's the first time that my will is not enough.

My head swims and there's an alarming sensation of unraveling. "Hnnh!!" Gasping. Gyrating. Groaning.
I'm supposed to be pushing him away! But my hands refuse to let him go. They are a closed circuit pulsing with
electrical current. Like touching the third rail. Once contact is made only a strong, sudden outside force can
break it. One of us needs to be strong! One of us has to break free and save the other. But we were both
doomed from the start.

Even now we try to endure against the strength of our own insatiable, unimaginable thirst. A need that
had existed for far longer than either of us would care to admit. My left hand grasps at any bare skin I can
reach while I punch him in the ribs with my right. He grunts and groans and wraps his hot tongue around mine.
Tumbling around in the snow and dirt in our frantic, violent, ferocious lust. He mews and pants into my mouth,
then fails miserably as he tries to knee me in the crotch. I simply end up wrapping my legs around his and
pushing my throbbing length into his thigh. He bites my lip angrily, hungrily, drawing blood and sucking it
from the wound. Growling like he'd gone feral.

| Damn it! You're supposed to be the strong one!! Push him away! Cheating is wrong! Someone
could see you!! You don't want him that badly!! He doesn't feel that good! | I lie to myself.

The snow that stuck to my skin drops to the ground as I lift my arms. My hands travel down and
I grab him by the firm, rounded muscle of his ass and I rub against him more insistently. Oh god it's even
nicer than I thought it would be. I can't help but squeeze. Can't help but relish the feeling of the
resistance his toned, finely made backside gives under the strength of my grasping fingers.
Tingles dance up my spine.

"Oonh!!!" He lets out a choked moan into my mouth and shudders uncontrollably. Chest heaving
against mine as he struggles for breath. His eyes are open now as we kiss. As are mine. Even now,
we still can't take our eyes off one another. Bejiita sucks on my tongue, looking pissed and oh so
aroused. He made the first move. Of the two of us, he was the first to break and it makes him as
angry and frustrated as I am.

Bejiita's breath flares from his nostrils and swirls in front of his face like a smoking dragon
as he pants harshly. He tries to stop himself and miraculously manages to pull away. If even for a moment.

"I fucking hate y--!!" he grinds out before I stop him. He lets out an enraged little whimper as I
silence him with my mouth. He punches me at random. There's no force behind any of his blows anymore.
His hands fist the fabric of my ruined shirt and rip it. One chunk of crisp white fabric shorn and tossed
aside at a time. There's so much malice and need in his eyes. Even as he rips the cloth from me. My cue to
say 'Hey what are you doing?!' 'Stop that!' 'Get the hell off me!!' Or 'You know this isn't right!!' has
long passed. I couldn't make my mouth say the words. I still can't. It's practically a separate being
from me. Two traitorous parts of my body silently call for him now.

He hated me because I tempt him. I hated him because he tempted me even more.

I hold his head as he tries to pull away. Just like I did. Wanting this so much and hating
himself for it. So much hate... ironic it would have such a result.

"I know.. you do..." the words come out of me in a breathy, broken moan as my hands find their
way under the tight navy blue fabric of his favorite outfit roughly. His breath hitches as I run my
fingers up and down his sculpted back. A back I absolutely adore. Just passing over his tail spot.
The flesh beneath my fingers quakes and he sucks in air through his teeth even though I barely
touched him.

Snarling, he wrenches my hands from his body before back-handing me across the face.
I hardly feel it, his heart wasn't in it at all. My hips buck under him without my permission and he
releases a strange combination of a sigh and a growl.

"Why are you letting me do this?! You're supposed to be fighting me you little shit! Shove
me away! Hate me! Hurt me! Don't just lie there panting, hit me!! ... Just...don't let me..." his voice
and tirade dwindles, turning from indignation to plea and desperation. I just look at him through
half lidded eyes and shake my head. The fight has gone out of me. I didn't think there would ever
be a day where I fought until there was nothing left in me and didn't win in the end. This was a
very different kind of fight. One I had little chance of winning.

But I tried. Lord knows I did.

"Asshole!!" he bellows, his voice cracking. His teeth bared as he fumes. My hands continue
to roam and he rips away another sizable chunk of my shirt, leaving half of my torso bare.

"Let go... of me!!" He bites out, terse, and low and unconvincing. I slide my hands up his chest
quickly, unable to stop myself, toying with one of his dusky nipples until it hardens under my fingers.
Completely lacking the ability to part with his skin even under threat of violence. Shaking like a leaf,
his eyes widen as he watches me play with him. I can almost see the blood boiling under his skin.
What aches between his legs grows stiffer still and in a frantic attempt to stop this, Bejiita lunges
forward and sinks his teeth into my exposed shoulder.

"GAA-anghh!!!" I throw my head back and let out a strangled, throaty shriek as he bites me.
Hard. Teeth still embedded in my shoulder he tries to push himself off of me. Put some distance
between us. To bring me enough pain that pleasure takes a back seat and maybe I'll let him go.
To stop this insanity that's taken over our bodies. No such luck. Pain and pleasure are always
intertwined with us. I hold him down against me, ignoring the smarting in my shoulder. He strains
as he tries to lift himself by his arms. The pain quickly subsides into a steady throb as he pulls his
teeth out. Rivulets of red run down the curve of my arm. His plan, again, fails completely as he lets
out a shuddering breath and sooths the wound with broad sweeps of his tongue. Blood dribbles down
from his lips before his tongue snakes out to catch what he'd missed. I tremble as my fingers find
their way into his hair. Pulling his head where I want it.

"Why...?" he asks, just scarcely audible. Crimson stains his lips and the tips of his ears.
"Why...won't you push me away...?" he whispers not expecting an answer as he digs his fingers into
my skin and drags his nails down my chest. Not quite hard enough to draw blood, but enough to
leave marks. I arc into his sadistic caresses and breathe a little more deeply. Rolling my hips under
him. Getting delicious friction where I need it most.

"RRRG!! Ss...stop it...Kaka..rot..to...!" Bejiita presses his fingers harder against me, deeper
into my skin. He wants nothing more than to crush me under his strength. To tear me apart. To utterly
destroy me and everything he wants but knows he shouldn't. To finally be rid of me and what he
would call a weakness. The urge to hurt me warring with the urge to fuck me. As always.

I crush his lips against mine, no longer able to bear life without them. I watch pleasure
wrack his smaller frame under heavy eyelashes. "K...kisa..maaaa!" he groans into my mouth, barely
recognizable, yet sounding like a small climax in itself as he quivers with rage and warm desire.
He tries to punch me. He tries to shove himself off of me. Tries and fails. He kicks and struggles.
His whole body screams his need and his overwhelming anguish over his inability to conquer
himself.

I hear a faint popping noise of ki sparking around him. Bejiita lets out a short, throaty growl
that sounds almost like a sob as he shifts so that he's straddling me. Letting out gravely, unnerving
moans and pushing himself against me as well. We ravage each others' mouths and grab at anything
in reach furiously. Even as we buck our hips and rub our lengths together, we're still fighting.
Fighting the inevitable even as we welcome it with groans and gasps of delight.

"UUunnn..!!" he moans low in his throat and I growl and pant under him, touching, groping,
and kneading everything, anything. My every movement feverishly wanton. Grinding myself against
him urgently, clumsily. Everything about this was sloppy, messy, violent, artless, not even remotely
thought out. Not a shred of romance or tenderness. Any kind of technique thrown out the window.
All that's left is the result of yearning trapped too tightly, desire bottled up too much, lust squelched
and ignored for too long. Until it finally erupts.

"Bejii...ta...!" I moan. Hearing my own throat utter his name in such a way sounds so foreign
yet so natural at the same time. I moan it again as I reach for his hand and push it down to where
I want it mindlessly.

"Touch me! Touch me!..!" I plead with my mouth and silently with my eyes. As if he wasn't
touching me enough already. Not nearly enough.

| Pants!! Get them off! These need to come off!! |

In a frenzy of movement I nearly rip the fabric of my grey slacks as I lift my hips with
him still straddling me and push then down as much as I can. Panting. Aching. Delirious.

"IIinnh!" The freezing air makes me burn even more.

"UNnnn! Be...jii..ita..aa!" I'm actually begging. I never beg! My god I'm really begging!
It's amazing how much I crave contact. His contact. Bejiita, taken aback at my neediness, shudders
and his face gets very red, lit by the pale moonlight. He lets out a huff of air and looks away quickly.
As if thinking he should not have seen me this way. Somehow my uncontrollable fervor was something
so private he needed to force himself to look away. Shucking the husk of my so called sexual innocence
to replace it with pure wantonness is almost too much to bear. Or, that for all my pleading, it was
his desire for me that was his ultimate undoing.

His breathing is labored and quick as he looks back at me. I reach for his hand again before
he shifts back to push down the blue spandex material of his training uniform to free himself as well. My
heart beats double time at the sight of it. The smell of memories I'd tried so hard to forget drift past my
nose and remind me of their power over me.

I bite my tongue and resist an urge I always forget is there. I begin to salivate and watch
him closely. Wide eyed, barely breathing, aroused beyond belief, as he pushes his exposed phallus
against mine. For a small space in time there is no sound other than skin against skin and his harsh
breathing as he undulates his hips. Sitting up on my elbows, I just watch the thick, pulsing flesh
between his legs rub me. I can't pull my eyes away from his glistening tip. I feel his gaze burning
my skin. My eyebrows scrunching, watching in want and worry. Teeth biting into my lip until I
taste copper. I stop breathing entirely now, afraid to make any noise, lest I find this is all a beautiful
nightmare and I wake. But the throbbing I feel now, the frigid snow against my burning skin and the
heady scent of arousal cutting the chill in the air makes this all too real.

"Unnh..!!!" A small shuddering moan finally escapes me and my teeth dig harder into my bottom
lip. Bejiita breathes faster still and I watch his mouth as he gasps and licks the palm of his right hand.
It's descent is slow as it moves between his legs and wraps around our lengths. Like he's somehow
afraid of what will come next.

Our response is one and the same. Immediate and electrifying.

"IINnnnh!!!" I inhale sharply the instant his hand makes contact with the part of me that
screams for him. I feel him quivering above me and the pleasure scalds me as he strokes us.

"UHNn!!" He roars as his thumb swirls over the tips. Silence is impossible.

"AAAH! ...NNn!!!" I let out, pained, almost anguished shouts of pleasure. I am anguished.
Why did something so wrong and dishonest have to feel so good? The noises I make are so
strange in my ears. I almost don't recognize the sound of my own enjoyment.

"HNNnn! Nh...UUh!!"

Only a few movements from his grasping fingers and I'm writhing under him deliriously.
My arms give out and my head flops back down to the ground only to loll back and forth in what's
left of the snow. One hand is on his back as I dig my finger nails into his boiling skin. The other
clawing and fisting the powdery white on the ground, turning it back into water almost immediately.

Shuddering in time with every single movement of his hand, I push myself against him in
languid, desperate undulations of my whole body. Never wanting it to end. My eyes drift close only
to blink back open again suddenly as if they can't decide whether they want to be open or not.
My trembling refuses to cease and the pleasure I feel borders on lunacy. Bejiita's handsome face
reddens more and more by the minute as he watches me move, unblinking in rapt fascination.
Like some miracle had occurred, and he'd witnessed some sort of impossible magic.

"Uhh... HNNnnn! HSsss..!" My eyes roll to the back of my head and I have to force myself to
keep them open now. Make myself remember to breathe. To watch. To burn this in my memory forever.
The day I failed, but couldn't be happier about it. We roll our hips in perfect unison in time with the
slicking motions of his hand. I watch Bejiita sweat and moan above me. His skin practically steams
as the heat rolls out of his pores and into the wintry air. His eyes just barely open, eyebrows lowered,
lips pulled back slightly, caught between a smile and a grimace. Air forcing it's way through clenched
teeth at every thrust of his hips. I love the faces he makes... I could watch him forever.

| Well that's not true. It only took three months of me watching before I wanted to touch.
If even that long. |

"OOhh. ghhhn..ngh!!!" His hand speeds up. I'm thrashing under him now. Feeling as though I'm
truly going mad. It's too much...! and yet not enough. I pull him down by the nape of his neck and
drown out the sound of our pleasure with rough kisses. Needing to somehow ground myself in this
insanity with the pressure of his lips. He nips at my mouth and sucks on my tongue. He sucks hard.
Like it was something else. Something bigger. Winding it with his own. Tickling me from the inside.
Using his mouth like a pro without once losing the rhythm he'd built with his hands. Why does he
have to be so good at this? I whimper as he speeds up even more and I realize I've never... ever
kissed this much in my life!

Today is just filled with firsts isn't it?

I tangle my fingers in his hair tightly and he groans as we fuck with our mouths. My head
spins out of control and I thrust my hips up to meet his relentlessly. Melting the snow around us.
Creating heat where there was none. Finding pleasure amongst the pain of endless need.
Finding salvation in the last place I thought to look.

I cry and moan into his mouth. The cold stings the moisture in my eyes but Bejiita
keeps me warm.

| Oh...god... | that frightening sense of coming apart returns.

"UUnnmh! Hnnmh! Iiinnmh!" He pumps only three times more. That's all it takes before
a torrent of scorching hot, pearly liquid erupts and covers my stomach and his fingers. That's
all it takes before I feel more complete, yet more undone than I'd ever felt in my life.

[ .... ]

Still with his hand wrapped around us, Bejiita lies on top of me panting softly. His head
resting on my chest. His thick, raven locks spiking up just touching my chin. The wet grass we lie on
tickles the back of my neck. The clouds roll past the half moon over head. Sparkling stars bedazzle
the midnight blue sky. There's a strange timelessness to the way we lie here. Just breathing. Thinking
of nothing. Waiting in vain for my heart to stop hammering in my chest and my head to stop spinning.
Lying in euphoric detachment. For just a little while, nothing in the world matters but me and the man
who lay tangled in my limbs. Covered in sweat, blood and our release.

It's romantic in a way only we could understand.

I swim in the sea of temporary bliss of complete contentment and forgetfulness, before I 'sober up'
and realize what we've done.

And how much we enjoyed it...

How little I cared for my promises and vows.

How much I wanted to do it again. And again. And again... As often as my body would allow. As if
I'd ever be granted the luxury...

My lips already missed his company.

Bejiita pushes himself off me suddenly and hits the ground gracelessly. He sits up, breathing harshly, legs
bent at the knees and spread as he supports his upper body with his arms behind him. What's left of his erection
surrounded by stained blue fabric. Stained from both sides. My flesh hardens hardens and stands straight up
from me as I lie on my back and look at him. Watching him come down from the height of sexual satisfaction.
Sweat dripping down his face. Chest heaving, face flushed. I desperately try to think of something other than
the feel of his skin against mines. His taste at the back of my throat. The tempting flesh and it's renewed
hardness that begs his mouth for attention. The warmth of his body, the color or his eyes.

The tension is palpable as Bejiita takes in huge, shuddering breaths. Shaking his head, looking down at his
hand and the seed that covers it in disbelief. He looks at himself, then between my legs. His gaze pricks my skin for
just a moment before he shakily gets to his feet. He staggers a few steps as he catches his breath. Standing still only
long enough to pull up his tattered pants.

He looks at his hands again, then at me. An enigmatic expression on his typically unreadable face.

He flies off quickly into the night without looking back.

And of course, I watch him as he goes.

Continued.

Author's Notes

1. I actually can't think of anything to say right now...
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[ Himitsu ]