Who\'s to say what normal turly is?

A/N: Warnings Yaoi, rated R for self mutilation, drugs, and for over all adult themes. If you are under 17 don't read!! If you don't like yaoi don't read!! Don't flame me just because it's yaoi.
In this chapter it's strictly Quatres' POV'
Note
//...// Quatres' thoughts

Who's to say what normal truly is?
Chapter one: Questions with no real answers
By: chibi yukie isha

"Okay Quat just don't start. I know, I know shouldn't be hurting myself and all that good stuff. But hey, this is my body and I get to do what I want with it, kay? But if it makes you feel any better I haven't done it for a weeks and I don't plan on killing myself any time soon-" Duo's words were cut of by the stinging pain delivered to his check by Quatres swift backhand.
"How you can say that!?! You idiot!!"
~~~~~~~

That's how it happened. I was rushing to find Duo; I had been so busy with helping maintain my fathers' business that I hadn't even had a chance to see my guest. I felt so ashamed for being a horrible host. I knew Duo would forgive me and I had every intention of apologizing, but something entirely different happened.

When I bumped into what I thought was a young lady but was really Duo I felt like such a klutz. He had obviously let his hair out of the braid which made him hard to recognize, and it made me feel even more foolish when I addressed him as a Miss. I apologize for it immediately after I had pulled him up to his feet. Though he still hadn't looked straight at me so it was no surprise to me when he addressed me with a very sarcastic 'buddy,' instead of the usual `Quat,' But it did shock me to know I was hurting him, he'd said something about his arm, that the one I was hold was sensitive or something along those lines. That did it I really felt ashamed I had been pathetic in terms of being a host, I had knocked my guessed down and call him a she, and now I was hurting him. I really hated myself at this point. As quickly as I could I began to say how sorry I was and try to take a look at the damage that had been done. Then when I caught site of Duos' arm I couldn't help but let out a shocked gasp.

All over Duo's arms where cuts and pinkish scars. I can't believe I never noticed them before, they were all over. A thousand thoughts went through my head that moment. //When did he get this? Are they from fighting? no they look almost... deliberate. no...Did he do this!?// I hadn't heard a word he had spoke to me as I ran my thumb passed the scar the crossed his wrist, but finally I looked up wanting to see if what I was thinking was true. I had to ask him, I knew he wouldn't lie, he never does and I almost felt sorry for using that agents him, but I had to know. I open my mouth and hoped I could get the guts to ask him such a personal question, but before I knew it he was cutting me off.

"Okay Quat just don't start. I know, I know shouldn't be hurting myself and all that good stuff. But hey, this is my body and I get to do what I want with it, kay? But if it makes you feel any better I haven't done it for a weeks and I don't plan on killing myself any time soon-" Duo's words were cut of by my swift backhand. I couldn't help it, that last line made me furious. 'I don't plan to kill myself anytime soon,' how could he say that 'any time soon,' how could he even imply suicide at this point!?! And before I knew it I was verbalizing my thoughts.

"How can you say that ?! You idiot," I practicality screamed at him, I really just couldn't help it. He was one of my closest friends how could he do this to himself!? "Well tell me Duo how?" When I still didn't receive an answer I became impatient. He just stood there with this shock expression like he'd never seen anything like what was going on so I began to pull him toward my sleeping quarters. I really wanted to know what was going on with him but I didn't believe it necessary to speak of personal things in such an impersonal environment, my bedroom would be much more suitable. Also even though his arms where mostly covered with scars I wanted to put ointment on the ones that where still healing. I suppose he was still in shock when we got to my room or else I don't think he would have let me push him into the bathroom. I went to the cabinet and got out the med kit taking out a small bottle of ointment. But just when I was about to treat his cuts he pulled away at the last minute, needless to say I was really ticked and ready to scold him but once again my words where cut short by his own.

"What's that? Hey, your not getten' any where near me with that stuff Quat!!" I could tell he was slowly beginning to inch away from me. But before he could go anywhere I reached out and grabbed his upper arm with a firm grip, not to hard though I didn't really know where the cuts ended.

"Duo you're not going any where. It's just ointment it will help heal your cuts and help your scars faded as well. Now please don't fight with me." I began to pull him back so I could start over again but he began to jerk away. I sighed I was not in the mood for his stubbornness I was overly worried about him and I really wanted to help. Why was he refusing to cooperate?

"Okay, now I'm sure I won't let you put that stuff on me. They're my arms Quat I can take care of them." He stated flatly.

"And you call this taking care of them." I shocked myself on that one. That was really rude of me but I just couldn't see why he insisted on leaving his cuts untreated. But I really wish I hadn't said that as I saw the hurt flash through his eyes. But the hurt was quickly turning into rage and I found that I was the one cutting him short this time when it seemed he was more then willing to voice his anger. "Okay, that was extremely uncalled for and I regret saying that but please Duo why are you fighting with me about this. Why won't you except my help. Please Duo I want to understand why." This really was frustrating I really wanted to know why. It just didn't seem necessary to inflict this kind of torment on ones' self.

"Quat listen you're one of the closest, most loyal, makes you feel better, always be there for you, kind of friends that I could ever ask for. But this is one of those things that just don't need to be explained, it is what it is. It's one of the things where I don't say anything about it and you pretend not to notice. You know, let's not go there and say we did kind of things." He said this while still managing his notorious goofy grin. This time how ever I did not find it funny in the least, it also made me wonder. Duo could never lie not with words anyway, so was that the reason for the silly grin he kept on his face all the time? Was it so he could hide with out flat out lying? I cringed inwardly at the thought; I really should have seen this before. It's times like this is when the statement 'dumb blonde' hits me again. But one thing was for sure I wasn't about to ignore this, and I'm not about to let it get any worse.

"No Duo, I'm not going to ignore this. As you said I'm one of those friends who are always there for you and I'm here now and I want to know why." I was doing my best to hide my inner sorrow. I know Duo doesn't want, or doesn't think he wants, my sympathy but who knows maybe that's just what he needs.

"Quatre please let's just drop it." I could see this was really making him uneasy now. I really didn't want my friend to feel that way but what else was I to do? I was hoping to just treat his arms and leave the questions for later but now he wasn't letting me do either. What was I to do, I wasn't about to just let him go as if nothing happened. Finally I looked him straight into his eyes but this time I didn't bother to hide my sorrow. Our eyes lock for quiet some time until I heard him sigh.

"Okay Quat, I'll let you put that stuff on my arms but please no questions." I nodded once in agreement. There was really no reason to put this on him now when he wasn't ready. So I spoke of it no further, but it really was killing me inside. // Why Duo? Why can't you trust me? And what in the world would make you do this...// I thought as I was spreading the cool ointment up and down his arm with a clean cloth. I sighed one of his cuts were right on top of the vain, and some were just way too deep for my liking. After I had finished with his left arm I went to his right and began to do the same as I had with the other arm. But suddenly I found myself staring at the torn sink with mournful eyes. There on his right arm, from the inside of the elbow to his wrist, written in American and Japans was a sentence that read 'there is no peace,' //Oh Duo no...//

"Quatre if you don't mind I'd like to keep that one." I don't know why but I found myself agreeing. I don't know what it was about that simple statement but it made me wanted to just break down and cry right then but I couldn't. No, not in front of Duo that wasn't going to happen. But I felt something needed to be said at the moment but what? I couldn't ask him about it, so then what. Finally I found word that should be said, something that was very obvious but needed to be clear.

"Duo?" I whispered softly and felt him stiffen as if he were waiting for me to ask him another question.

"Yeah Quat?" He replied softly.

"I'm your Friend..." That was it the only thing I could really say. But I knew it was enough when I felt him relax and when I looked back up he gave me a smile. Not one of those fake grins but an actual smile.

"I know Quat..." Was all he said as I began to work on his arms once again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ TBC~~~~~~~~~~~

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