Cursed Life

Chapter 2
“Edward,” I suddenly hear braking into the nothing of the drugged up state I had been in. I guess I was laying there for awhile just staring blankly I believe I drifted out of time and space and all things physically human as I had that dreaded needle stick into my arm, now I am laying in Winry’s house in Resembool she was the one who said my name and Alphonse was standing at the end of my bed dressed in armor. “Wake up Edward its time to eat your breakfast” she said smiling and walked over with a tray of food and set it over my torso.
“What a weird dream” I thought but I was just glad it was a dream it felt so real though I wish the part of Al’s body being stripped away was really the dream. “Winry” I say looking at the blonde girl she was dressed in an overall pink dress with white flowers on it.
“Yeah what is it?” Winry wondered clasping her hands in front of herself.
“Is this real?” I wonder and picked up my spoon and dipped it into the oatmeal and scooped some up and ate that though there was the bottle of only milk to drink I wasn’t going to drink that. As I ate off the metal spoon it didn’t feel metal I don’t know what it felt like but it was smoother but there edges were sharp it was odd.
“Yes of course it is, and I am sorry” Winry sighed, ”Its so awful.” Winry looked down at her feet.
“Ah don’t be sorry lest I have Al’s soul right?” I wonder looking at my baby brother being kept safe in that suit of armor.
“Yup Thanks Brother I am glad I can still be with you” Alphonse said turning his head of the helmet toward me. I don’t see how he could thank me though maybe it would have been better if his soul could pass on but I couldn’t leave his soul to be sucked into such a horrid place as that no sir I couldn’t.
“Well I am glad your with me too still I just can’t lose you Alphonse,” I say sadly then Granny comes into the room and walks next to the bed with a warm pan. There was a sponge too ah how embarrassing I thought.

“After you eat you need to have a sponge bath,” the old hag tells me I don’t know if I liked this thought.
“Can’t Alphonse do it he is my brother and the only male around here?” I wondered hopefully eyeing the steaming bowl of clean water that I will use to clean this dirty body.
“Hmm so long as you don’t make a mess you can do it yourself I suppose,” Granny agreed and set the water basin down alright so this is when, then and there I decided I was going to use at lest 5,000 dollars from mothers savings, to make me an auto mail leg and arm so that I didn’t have to always relay on everyone else.
“Also I want you both to take five thousand dollars out of the Elric savings fund and make me a Automail arm and leg.” Both Granny and Winry looked up from the cleaning of the room they were doing Granny had started to dust once she lit her pipe and Winry had started to knit in the corner in the rocking chair both looked up at me shocked.
“Edward are you sure you want to do that it’s a very painful processes,” Granny said seeming to be worried about me for once.
“Ah it will be a pain nothing to bare compared to want Alphonse has been through I need to get this so I can take care of my brother I need to right my wrongs.” I explain to Granny who listened to me thoughtfully sucking on her pipe then she blew out the smoke.
“Alright we will do it,” Granny agreed and put her pipe back in her mouth turned around and started to dust once again.
I smiled feeling a lot more content now with myself then to just lay around and grow old and turn into a useless stump of a human where I will always need someone to do things for me. Once I had finished my breakfast Granny took the tray, then her and Winry left there room shutting the door so I could wash. Alphonse picked up the sponge and rung it out then walked over and pulled the blankets off my body and helped me out of my white underpants. I could feel his cold metal brushing over my hot leg as he did this. “I feel so embarrassed,” I say to Alphonse as he then lathered up the soap on the wash cloth.

“Ah no need to feel Embarrassed I don’t mind Brother” Alphonse said in a soothing tone and he rubbed the warm soapy sponge over my body doing my chest first once he had removed the bandages besides a bit on my arm to keep it closed. I watched as he ran his large metal hand all over my body it was surprising how gentle he could be even in that big suit of armor. He washed every part of my body when he had to wash my crotch I blushed and looked away though I could almost imagine his face was probably the same. He was only my brother so it wasn’t all that awkward and he finally got done cleaning me up and got a clean pair of under pants and slid it over my leg and up past my hips.
“Thank you Alphonse your to kind” I say to him as he walked over with a comb and started to comb my hair and it felt pretty good to I think Alphonse had good hands no matter what size or what they were in. Then he covered me again with the blanket and he helped me put my bandage on again.
“Your welcome brother,” Alphonse said softly to me but in a very kind and pleasant tone. “I mean this is the lest I can do for what you have done for me.” He said to me as he held the bandage strap while I spun it around my torso. That way it was nice and tight and no infection could sneak into my open wound.
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“Man I hate sitting around in this boring old room all the time in this boring old bed,” I say to Al three days later I was getting wrestles waiting for Granny to pull through on an arm and a leg for me.
“Ah I am sorry Big brother,” Alphonse said in his most sympathetic tone that he could. “Maybe I can take you outside for a little bit I could carry you and you could get some fresh air.” Alphonse said in his very sweet tone he normally used.
“Oh that is a good Idea,” I nodded in agreement ”I am sick of laying here and having those fucked up dreams where I think I am in some kind of mental hospital.” I say to Alphonse who nodded his head the most he could in that big metal suit.
Alphonse didn’t seem to want to say much about that as he stood up and walked to my drawer and pulled out a blue t-shirt and walked over to me and put the hole around my head carefully and I slid my one arm through the sleeve. I also noted that Alphonse and everyone always seemed to have some kind of white light surrounding there bodies I just couldn’t seem to shake it. No matter how many times I blinked or closed my eyes I then conclude perhaps my mental capacity isn’t as stable as I might have thought or perhaps the blood loss has impaired my eye site or has done something to it to make things look brighter. “Well I am glad you like my Idea of going outside.” Alphonse said braking into my thoughts he had returned from the drawer again. Holding up some black shorts he was going to put on me. He pulled the covers off of my lower half and helped me slid into the shorts.
“Well it’s a good Idea,” I shrug as he then got a warm blanket and put it over his arms then scooped me up. Though of course his arms were still hard the blanket made it feel a tad bit more bearable to be held in and of course it was for warmth if I got a chill.
Alphonse chuckled “Well I just want to make you happy,” he said and walked out of the room and down the hallway of the Rockbell house. Then to the front door and he opened that too wow it was a beautiful blue sky day. The air was mild there was no breeze though Alphonse walked around back to a big hill that over looked a valley full off flowers and tall snake grass. Alphonse then set down himself with his legs crossed and adjusted me to where I was leaning against his chest with my back and my one arm was on Alphonse’s leg like an arm rest.
“Well I want to make everything up to you Alphonse once I get this arm and leg I swear I will train and become strong not only physically but mentally so I can find away to get your body back.” I say looking up into his white glowing eyes coming from the dark hallow sockets of the eye holes in the suit.
“Well Big Brother I think you have done enough as it is there isn’t to many people who can say they saved someone’s soul.” Alphonse tells me as we together look out across the peaceful looking valley.
“Eh well I don’t think I deserve your kindness for what I have done to you,” I say sadly “If I had listened to you in the first place then we wouldn’t be in this predicament.” I say brushing some of my golden hair out of my face and lean more into Alphonse.
“Ah don’t say that Ed, you do so I know you didn’t mean to I am not going to hold a foolish grudge there is really no point to.” Alphonse said to me and watched as a few pretty butterflies flew from flower to flower in the meadow.
“Well that is very mature of you Alphonse and very kind of you still very wise I’d say you taught me something then. Revenge isn’t the way to go about life even if your in a very bad situation we will just try to move forward from our mistakes.” I say happily though I must admit sitting here in the grass with Alphonse was nice but so dull I’d have loved to train. Do anything but just sit around if I don’t do something soon I’ll just be a big flabby blob of person.

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“Alright Edward,” Granny said on the fourth day once they got the automail limbs constructed right to there liking. Also for my body size of course I watch as the two females set up there tools. “This is going to hurt as we have to attach the nerves to the wires in the mechanic arm.” She was smoking her pipe took a drag blew the smoke out then put out the pipe and set it down on the dresser. “Actually this will be pain you probably will hardly be able to bare.”
“As I said this will be nothing compared to what Alphonse has been through so just go ahead I am ready.” Or so I thought I watched as she brought the tools over and the interesting look arm and leg to be attached to my nerves Alphonse had to wait outside. The last thing I heard from Granny was….
“Hold still now this will hurt like a fucking bitch” Everything in that world went black and I woke up screaming in pain in that same white room. I sat up in the bed and I saw Alphonse ever sitting in that corner. ”AL what is going on why am I here again why do I keep dreaming this dream?” I wondered to him my body felt sweaty yet chilly I felt something hard and cool against my right thigh. As I sat up it wasn’t hard to miss my new steal right arm.
“Well the doctors all agreed that since you had been behaving lately that you could have an auto mail arm and leg.” Alphonse explained to me.
I look at my automail arm and open and close the fingers it was amazing, “but I haven’t been moving much all I do is lay here and sleep how is that good behavior?” I chuckled.
“Well Doctor Mustang was the one who thought it be nice if you had some artificial limbs he even paid for them himself.” Alphonse told me helpfully.
“Oh well wasn’t that really nice of him,” I say to Alphonse and then push the covers back and note I am now in a blue hospital gown with my own hospital bracelet and everything. Then as I turn my legs and set my metal foot on the ground with a small clinking sound the door to my room opens and Doctor Mustang enters along with the blonde nurse.
“Morning Edward I am glad to see you awake and seeming to be some what fine after the surgery.” Mustang said standing next to me with a pleasant look on his face.
“But I thought Granny and Winry where the ones who put on my arm and leg.” I say pushing my new metal hand through my golden locks I could feel the cool steal on my scalp as I did this it felt so real. This didn’t feel like a dream to me not at all really I didn’t want to believe I was here I am not crazy.

“Well I am sorry but they didn’t” Doctor Mustang said with his stupid Apologizes again damn him and his stupid saying he was sorry that just seemed to really piss me off when he said that to me. “Now it seems like your able to move your arm pretty well it doesn’t feel to heavy on you dose it we tried to make it feel like a normal arm as much as possible.”
“Shut up you fucking lie to me!” I say my eye twitched and I stood up quickly with no problem and marched toward Mustang and made to grab at him but the Blonde nurse had a remote control which she pushed a button on and my arm stopped in mid air. Also my leg it stopped in mid step, which pretty much set me into suspended animation. “What the hell…” I said very annoyed by this and glared at Mustang the most.
“Clam down Edward,” He said in that same annoyingly clam voice of his, “As you see I am not going to allow you to have complete free roam with that arm and leg and I sure am glad I didn’t.”
“You made me into some kind of FREAK!” I roar angrily not pleased in the lest to be standing there frozen like this, “Did you have your bloody fun experimenting on me!?” I demanded to know my golden eyes flashing I was so pissed off now. “Don’t tell me to clam down you made me into some kind of weird fucked up TOY!” My heart beat rapidly against my chest my eyes brim with tears. “WELL Sorry pal I ain’t some damn play thing now unfreeze me now!”
“And why should I do that are you going to clam down?” Mustang wondered holding the clip bored to his chest and waited for an answer.
“Yes I won’t hurt you obviously I can’t anyways since I am your stupid toy now!” I mutter and bring my left hand up into my teary eye and sniffled.
“No Edward your not my toy but seeing as your reacting violently toward me without even thinking what sort of damage you could have caused me with your metal fist I am glad I did this. You proved that it was a good Idea for me to install the device and have proven also that you aren’t in fact ready to leave this hospital room.” Mustang’s voice was irritating me, “Now if your going to continue to throw tantrums then try to be violent towards me with your limbs I’ll just take them away.”
I whimpered still feeling annoyed at being frozen like this ”That isn’t fucking fair limbs shouldn’t be a privilege!” I snap what a fucked up doctor I thought. Why where the tears just spilling out of my eyes I was feeling so frustrated. Also pissed and humiliated by this doctor who just stood there and stared at me I began to hate him I wanted out of this place.

“Well in this case they are I am sorry Edward,” Mustang replied to me, “Now can I trust you if we let the arm and leg move again?”
“Yes I said that already” I said behind a wall of tears and me left fist was digging into my left eye as I cried. I feel the joints in my arm and leg loosen and I stood up straight and I brought my metal fist into my right eye it felt cold and odd but I didn’t care I was so embarrassed and still pissed and frustrated. “Will you stop apologizing your not sorry, it annoys me when you do that!” I say and turn around and walk back to the bed and lay down with may back to them.
“Edward,” I hear Alphonse’s voice from the corner, “Its ok Big brother don’t cry” I hear him stand up and hear the clinking metal of his large metal feet and then feel the weight of him sitting on the bed and he put a metal hand to my shoulder to comfort me.
“But Alphonse everything is so screwed up” I say to my brother who was still very real to me even if no one else could see him I could feel Mustang still in the room ever staring at me with unseeing eyes. “I just want to be with you again be with my family again.” I reach my new metal hand up and go to touch the metal hand on my flesh shoulder but there was nothing there I turn around and only the doctor and nurse are there the doctor was scribbling something down on his note book.
The blonde nurse walked over to me and bent down, “Don’t cry Edward,” She said in a soothing tone of voice and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. “We are only trying to help you not frustrate you.” She said softly in my ear I tried to imagine maybe that would be what my mothers voice perhaps could have sounded like at the moment that was the only female I could really tolerate at the moment.
“Easy for you to say lady” I said still facing the wall my heart was broken in two when I saw Alphonse fade away into nothing ness. I felt like laying here and dieing I felt like a lost boy with no hope. With no one to love me a Boy who would grow up alone in a mental hospital grow into a man and die alone and insane. I am not insane that was what frustrated me the most. “You tell me not to cry I tell you I am not crazy you don’t believe me thus the tears ever flow.” I say still not wanting to look at her.
“Well all you have to do is prove to us that your not in poor mental health and we will allow you to leave.” Hawkeye explains to me softly and as simply as she could.


I sighed how was I suppose to do such thing I wonder to my self they already believe me to be nuts I don’t think I’ll be able to change there minds just by acting like I am not crazy. When before I didn’t think I was crazy anyways so how can I be something they want me to be when I didn’t even know I was crazy to start with. Insanity it’s a curious thing really who is really insane really why is one form of psyche and logic more fitting then others. Why is my world more crazy then hidden secret worlds of the doctor or nurses mind? I had no more to say to these people at present I just hope they would go away. I tugged my shoulder from the lady’s hand I didn’t like her touching me it annoyed me.
“Ah ah Edward your not going to sleep again you been laying in that bed and have been cooped up in this room for awhile I’d like to take you to get something to eat in the cafeteria for breakfast if your willing to behave.” I heard Mustang’s voice brake into my silent wonderings.
I turn around to look at them Hawkeye was still on the edge of my bed, “Hmm alright then whatever sounds good it is kind of boring in here anyways” I huffed then noted Alphonse was sitting in the corner in front of my bed again well his soul was in the armor anyways.
“Alright then come along Edward and do you need to use the restroom?” Hawkeye asked me and stood up and I sat up and swung my legs around and put my feet on the floor and stood up.
“Ah yes I could use the restroom before eating thank you” I nodded at Hawkeye “Well lead the way then?” Of course I had to rely on them for everything. Which also was very annoying and I didn’t like it at all.
Mustang then turned toward the door and pulled it open and it made a digital unlocking sound and he stepped out I fallowed with Hawkeye behind me there was one plain high white brick wall right in front of my room the hallway was long with many other rooms on either side of the walls. The floor was a white tile floor the ceilings had high white florescent lights running down the length of the hallway at the end toward the right was a huge steal arching door we were head in that direction. I could hear people screaming from there rooms as they too were slipping father and father into the deep cool waters of insanity. There screams made my blood prickle and my hair stand on end. It also made me walk closer to Mustang but I noticed behind Hawkeye Alphonse was fallowing which also made me feel better. We stopped at a door a few feet away from the steal door it was the restroom Mustang opened the door for me I walked in and he fallowed. “Its alright Edward no one is going to hurt you.” Mustang said to me in a reassuring tone. He put his arm around me in a sort of fatherly like way.
“You have to fallow me?” I wondered to him a bit annoyed with this though the arm felt pretty good.
“Yes sorry Edward,” he tells me “I have to make sure nothing happens to you.”
“I’d hope nothing would happen as I piss,” I grumbled and walked from his side and did my businesses then flushed and went to the sink and washed my hands.
“Well you never know Edward,” He said to me firmly in his believe that I was insane I sighed and shuffled out of the bathroom my long golden hair laid over my shoulders as I moved. We came into the hall way of screams I shivered and the protective arm came back around me and he lead me on. We stopped outside the door that had a black small thing with a slit in it with a red light on it. He took a card from his pocket and slid it through the key slot and the light turned green there was a buzzing sound it scared me I jumped a tad and we walked through the door into a large lobby where there was and exit to the left with about six glass doors. To the right was a large horse shoe shaped receptionist desk and also a place to clock in behind the desk.
To the right of the Desk was another hallway that lead toward an exit outside from what I could tell cause day light was coming out of it. We turned this way and headed down the hallway there was people sitting on benches or in wheel chairs in this hallway muttering things to themselves or some where napping. This hall had white stone walls as well and we came to a large doorway to the right of this hall and inside was the place to eat there was a lot of people in here too. Most of them were talking to friends or perhaps some where talking to themselves as they ate or read books or just stared blankly out the window. One thing I noted though was most of the people here where kids my age. “What you looking at!” A Boy with black hair snapped at me. I guess I was staring I didn’t even notice I was this person had big violet eyes and looked to be about ten years old as well. “I’ll pound your face in if you don’t stop I hate people who stare!” He said in a very Wrathful and pissed off tone but he never stood from where were he was sitting though.
“Wrath that will do” Mustang scolded him” He isn’t meaning to look at you now go back to your breakfast” This Wrath boy went to open his mouth again to say something but he shut it and went back to eating his cereal. I looked down at the ground not wanting to piss anyone else off. “So what are you hungry for?” Mustang wondered to me as we got up to the line where a few nurses were helping other children get food.
“Hmm I’ll have a pancake,” I say glancing up a bit at the food line and saw them and I noticed Mustang still had his arm around me too. “You know you don’t have to have your arm around me like this I am not going to run away.”
Mustang then removed it “Sorry its just you seemed a little worried back there so I thought you wanted a comforting arm.
I blew air out of my mouth and caused my bangs to fly up, “Ah I see I wasn’t worried I am fine I can deal with stuff!” I huffed “Right Alphonse!” I say looking behind me at my 8 foot tall brother in the armor.
“Yup I know your tough brother,” Alphonse confirmed with me happily as we moved down the like and Mustang got me a pancake. On a plastic tray and had some plastic spoon how was I suppose to eat a pancake like that I thought.
“You see Alphonse agrees” I said to The doctor happily with a cheesy smile.
“HEY Jerk your holding up the line!” I hear a boy behind us I look around Alphonse to see a boy with short red hair and green eyes waiting for me to move.
“Well sorry gez don’t have to be so cranky” I tell this kid he was an attractive boy too.
“Don’t tell me what to do,” the boy retorted back.
“Edward come on now,” Mustang had moved down the line and I quickly fallowed after him.
“Ah yeah that is right just run away you tiny little chicken!” The red head shouted at me.
The next thing I know my body is moving before I seem to even realize it or even Mustang did. “WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO MIRCOSPOICE YOU CAN’T EVEN SEE ME WITH A HIGH POWER TELEPHOTO LENS!?” I was straddling the boy on the floor and holding him by his shirt collar shaking him back and forth I had socked him one as well with my metal fist. Of course this busted his nose wide open and he had crimson blood all over his shirt also this sent the rest of the loons into a frenzy too some where rocking back and forth covering there ears a lot of them were screaming too now.
“Ed,” I hear Alphonse’s annoyed voice behind me “Why did you have to go and do that now they will send you back to your room.”
Mustang dropped the tray and rushed over to me and another male nurse came over as well and they both grabbed my arms and hauled me off of him. “Edward Elric that was very naughty!” He said to me and gave my ass a harsh slap and man it stung he was good at this. I suppose he was he had to deal with mental cases from five years of age tell seventeen years old. The swat woke me up a bit so did Alphonse’s voice I saw the boy curled in a corner with his hands over his head crying now that I was off of him.
“Get that boy back to his cell!” A dark haired nurse lady yelled at Mustang “He isn’t fit to be out here if this is how he acts!” she frowned at me.
I was rubbing my stinging ass with my flesh hand glaring up at Mustang who grabbed me by my arm pit and ushered me toward the door. “Its not my fault he was taunting me everyone in this damn place was making fun of me and eyeing me!” I snap up at Mustang as we go out into the hallway.
“Edward you need to ignore people like that and of course I can’t let that slid tell I see more improvement I am afraid you’ll have to be in solitary confinement still I am ashamed of you. I had more faith in you Edward” Mustang said seeming to try and lay some kind of damn guilt trip on me or something to make me feel bad for what I had done.

“Well no one calls me a pip squeak and gets away with it I’ll sock any man in the mouth for it!” I declare clinching my metal fist which clinked together as I did that.
“Well that is unacceptable I should have give you more swats for what you just said!” Mustang had a very annoyed tone in his voice as he slid his card through the slot once again and he had a nice grip on my too he sure was strong.
“Ok, ok I get it gez I am sorry alright but no one has the right to call me such things gez!” I said still annoyed by this of course Alphonse was fallowing the whole time “I am not going to run away you don’t have to grip me so hard.”
“Hmm I can’t tell that” Mustang said and marched me back to my room and unlocked the door, “I’ll be back in ten minutes with your breakfast.” He said and shoved me in there and gave my ass another smart swat I yelped. “And think about what you’ve done!” he added before slamming the steal door in my face and I could hear the key in the lock. As I stood there rubbing my smarting behind.
“Gez what the heck is there problem I mean I am in a crazy house what do they except me to be sane?” I wondered to Alphonse and then pulled up my gown and turned my back to Al. “Did he leave red marks cause that really stung.” I say as I show him my smooth bare hinny.
Alphonse sighed, “Edward if you behave properly then you’ll get out” my younger brother also scolded me ”And I mean out of this whole place not just your room And there is a red mark but no hand prints.” He added as he looked my naked bum over I dropped the gown and walked over to the bed and sat down it hurt to sit as well a bit but not to bad.
“Yeah, yeah alright I hear you Alphonse, I just wish everyone else could that way I wouldn’t be in here in the fist place.” I say lacing my arms in my lap I lay back and looked up at the boring white ceiling and sighed.
Ten minutes later Mustang brought my tray of food into me a fresh pancake and a plastic cups with Oj and milk. The pancake was already cut up and he sat it down in my lap then went to the door and stood there to watch me eat to make sure I didn’t make a mess or something. Mustang was looking over his charts in silence for a few moments while I ate the pancake. I drank the orange juice but I didn’t want the milk I hate the stuff. “So Edward have you thought about what you did back there?” He wondered to me finally to me and put the Papers back down on his clip bored and put it under his arm he waited for me to answer him.
I looked over at Alphonse It was really hard to tell what he’d think from a emotionless helmet so I don’t think he’d give me much help though he did some what before the doctor returned. “Yes I am sorry I hurt the boy for calling me such insulting things.” I say looking the doctor in the eyes. “I won’t do it again please give me another chance?”


“I think we will but you’ll be staying in here the rest of the day, just so we can be sure,” Mustang said to me and I slammed the tray on the ground and kicked it toward him. Damn it I did have this uncontrollable temper I noted it was as if I moved without even thinking about it my body moved when my mind thought I was just sitting still.
“I DON’T WANT TO STAY IN HERE I SAID I WAS SORRY DAMN IT NOW LET ME GO!” I rage more the roaring even scared me it was as if it was someone else yelling out of my body. This was annoying me too like I had no control over my emotion or my voice. I was getting frustrates and once again stood up I really wanted to hurt him now.
“Well that is just to bad Edward shouting about it and throwing your tantrums will not make anything better” Doctor Mustang bent down to pick up the tray and I was on him faster then even I could think. I had him pressed against the wall with my steal hand and was going to hit him in the gut but he acted fast and spun me around by my metal arm he held it behind me so I couldn’t move and made me pretty much kiss the floor I felt him straddling me now.
“NO, NO Doctor I am sorry I am sorry!” I screamed kicking my feet I was no match for Mustang at the moment I was much younger then he was and didn’t have much strength my metal foot clinked angrily against the hard floor.
I feel him clean my arm with a wet swab he must have had in his pocket or something and then he quickly stuck the needle into my arm. ”Sorry isn’t good enough obviously from you you’re a naughty boy.” He said pushing the injection into my arm.
“AH Doctor That hurts that hurts why are you so mean to me Stop it Please Alphonse Help me Alphonse I am sorry. Stop it you fucking doctor STOP IT!” I said trying to get away but Mustang was pretty strong. “S…s stoop,” I started to speak meekly and weakly I felt fuzzy again and the cold floor that my cheek was pressing against was gone and so was the wait of the damn doctor on my back.
I began to float again on this cold endless dark waters going here and there going everywhere but nowhere all at once. I feel as if I float on forever and ever in some kind of timeless place where thought and reason and life didn’t matter and wasn’t even there. Humans were never even thought of in this place it was just nothing not even dark not even light. A place that seemed to be frightfully peaceful and quiet I liked this place of nothing of no where I liked this feeling of just floating ever floating on the waves of insanity.