Worlds Collide

A/N: The Candy Made Me Do It, I hope you don't take offense to be shortening the awww. It just messed with my computer and browser making it hard to read other reviews. Anyway, I'm still very glad you reviewed the story. I've wanted to have those two kiss for a while now. I've had many issues with bras (I got mine at the end of 3rd grade), and I learned to hate them early. Ed's little joke backfired on him, but it isn't as though Roy hasn't made Ed feel jealous. Nomme de Plume, yeah, it was cruel. As far as Aideen, it means she's getting stronger, but I'll let whether that's good or bad for later in the story. Kuragari, I tried to keep it light, especially Roy's reaction. And yeah, Ed was stupid. He's allowed once in a while.

Chapter 26

Guilt and Shopping

Ed walked through the halls of central looking at least half as sheepish and stupid as he felt. Twenty-seven years old and he was still behaving like a stupid child. Under his arm, he held a box of every single one of Roy’s favorite desserts, reminded of when he’d done this not so much as an apology. He walked by Breda’s office, waving at the long-time friend, who was on the phone and could only wave back. He walked by the office he’d stormed into so many times as a teenager, not paying attention to the open door or the man inside.

“Boss!”

Ed closed his eyes and grimaced. Shit, he didn’t want to face him at the moment. He turned around and stood at the door.

“Hey, Ed. Happy birthday.” Havoc actually looked eager to talk to him. “You can come in, if you want.” Ed hesitated. If Roy walked by and saw him in Havoc’s office, he’d have to buy up a whole damned bakery. “What did I do to everyone today?”

Ed stepped inside, shutting the door behind him. “What do you mean?”

“Well, when I dropped off some stuff to the chief, he practically growled at me.”

Ed approached the man at the rather large desk. He looked down at the top of the once shiny piece of furniture. “Damn, what did you do to this thing?” there were nicks, water marks, stains all over the top.

“Can’t say I always feel like taking especially good care of it,” Havoc said, “knowing it was Bradley’s. But, I really should because no replacement I get is going to be this huge.”

“With the way you treat it, I’m surprised it’s lasted this long.”

Havoc smiled. “I wanted to talk to Roy when I came in, fellow parent and all, but he looked like he’d have bit my head off. I was wondering if maybe you could give me a little advice.”

“I can try. Having problems with James?”

“No, believe it or not,” Havoc said with a sigh. “Elysia. You know it’s her birthday today…” Actually along with forgetting his own, he’d forgotten Elysia’s. “And instead of doing something with the family, she wanted to go to some dance with a bunch of older kids Gracia and I don’t know. They’re all able to drive, and a couple are old enough to drink.”

“That would be a no.”

“That’s what I told her. Making that decision was easy. What came after it wasn’t. She told me she hated me, that I had no right to tell her what to do because I wasn’t her real father, and that I’m the worst person in the world.”

“She’s fifteen, Jean. What do you expect? Look, as a parent, I can’t offer advice. Mine are just maturing, but still young enough to be considered cute and precocious.” Ed put a hand in his pocket. “But as someone who was a teenager not too long ago, she doesn’t mean it and you’ll have to give her time.”

“I was hoping for a solution.” Ed just shrugged. “Now, do you have any idea why the fuhrer’s so angry at me?”

“It’s my fault. But you don’t want to know.”

“My commanding officer and the leader of the country is mad at me. I think I have the right to know why.”

“I warned you.” Ed took a deep breath. “I forgot what today was. So when Roy was trying to wake me up pleasantly, I thought he wanted something. He usually does, and as a joke, I made him think I was calling out someone else’s name in my sleep.”

“Ed! Why me?”

“I don’t know. But he’s really upset. Especially since I deflated his ego a few nights ago by telling him he wasn’t my first crush, which apparently he thought he was.”

“Well…”

“You were.”

“Me?” Havoc started laughing.

“Don’t make fun of me. I was twelve. I couldn’t tell the difference between gay, straight or bi. I just thought you were nice looking.”

“So you liked me before the fuhrer.” The laughter grew.

“Yes, but what does that…” Ed realized the reason for Havoc’s sudden change in mood. “You can’t throw that in his face. He might never speak to us again.”

“It might be worth it. He took every date I ever had, but the man he’s married to had a crush on me first. I could have snatched you out from under him.”

“And gotten arrested for pedophilia. Legal adult or not, I don’t think the military would have looked too fondly on it.” Ed leaned forward on Havoc’s desk. “Look, you can’t tell him I told you. Not today.”

“I promise, but you know I’m going to eventually.”

Ed nodded, rolling his eyes and making his way to the door, finding a dark-haired man standing, shooting daggers at him. “What shouldn’t he tell me, Ed?”

“That he liked me first!” Havoc blurted out, laughing again.

“We’ll see how easily you laugh if you’re charred to a crisp.” Roy grabbed Ed by his shirt, dragging him into the hallway. “So how long has this been going on Ed?”

“Nothing was going on, Roy. He was asking advice about Elysia.”

“Then why did you shut the door? Havoc never has his door closed when he’s just talking to friends.”

“Look, I came here to apologize you jealous bastard.” Ed heard the footsteps of Havoc behind him, knowing that to have the older blond following was a very, very bad idea.

“And that’s why you went into Havoc’s office first? Trying to get your stories straight?”

They were now standing at Roy’s office door, which the older man opened, revealing Breda, a rather flushed Fuery and Frank, Gracia, Winry, and Al.

“Happy Birthday!”

Ed looked up at his husband. “You son of a bitch!”

“Originally, I was just going to ask you to come up here to visit, but this worked so much better.” Ed began hitting his husband, but Roy just wrapped his arms around his, placing a kiss on his cheek, and whispering in his ear, “You should just be glad I don’t believe in birthday spankings like some people do, after your behavior.”

“You try it and I swear you’re a dead man.”

Behind them, Havoc was laughing, obviously in on it all.

“I still couldn’t believe it when the chief said you’d forgotten.”

“I didn’t forget. I thought it was tomorrow. I’ve had a lot on my mind and I thought today was Wednesday, not Thursday.” Honestly, coming to grips with the fact that he was going to have to get a bra for his daughter had forced the fact that he was now twenty-seven completely out of his mind, though Roy’s confusion as to why he’d decided to do the shopping today seemed to make much more sense.

“Come on, Brother, Gracia made a chocolate cake for you.” Al grinned from Roy’s desk. “And Winry and I only have a short recess before we have to go back and fight Robert’s deadbeat father.”

Ed couldn’t have agreed more with the description of his nephew’s biological parent. He’d had to testify on his brother and sister-in-law’s behalves already that morning, and deadbeat seemed to be the general impression.

“And Fuery and Archer went over to the diner to get about a couple dozen sandwiches,” Breda said with a smile. “Though I’m sure they didn’t mind the wait since they were otherwise occupied.”

Ed looked over a Fuery and Frank, seeing the older man looked just a bit smug, and Fuery was crimson in embarrassment.

Al stood over said cake, lighting well over two dozen candles on top. “We had a heck of a time fitting all these on. You need to blow them out and make a wish.”

“One that doesn’t involve castrating me for this,” Roy teased.

********

Later that day, when they were alone in the office they had to share, Frank found Kain once again standing over him as he sat. “Everyone has heard about us at the diner,” his superior officer said.

“Really?” Frank smiled. “Then I guess that we won’t have to pretend it didn’t happen.”

“But what do we tell people?”

“We kissed?” Kain was flustered. Frank liked it.

“You know what I mean. Are we…” Kain folded his arms. “You said that you don’t have relationships, but…”

“I was warning you, Kain. I’ve only managed to date once, and it ended very badly. You are my friend, so obviously, I don’t want the same thing to happen.”

“Then, we have to make sure it doesn’t.” Kain tentatively reached a hand out to touch Frank’s face, and though Kain looked somewhat nervous, it was Frank who felt that at any moment, his calm demeanor might break. He looked up at the younger man tentatively, his blue eyes trying to hide everything going through his mind.

When a calloused hand met his cheek, Frank remained still, trying not to lean into the touch and definitely not to move away. Unconsciously, he licked his slightly chapped lips, his breathing going just a bit more ragged. This was uncharted territory for the older man, and he was willing to let the younger guide it.

“Will it matter that you’re my superior officer?” Frank asked, his sapphire eyes meeting Kain’s chocolate ones. Kain shook his head, rubbing Frank’s temple with his thumb. “Then what are you waiting for?”

The younger man leaned down, pressing their lips together, almost chastely before shifting just enough to pull Frank’s bottom lip between his own. There was such a tender affection in that kiss, Frank tried very hard not to let it affect him, tried to pretend that there wasn’t a part of his rigidly trained psyche that just wanted to melt into Kain’s touch.

When his commanding officer, a man nine years his junior, moved his hand down Frank’s cheek and gently rubbed the back of his neck, as though he already knew how sensitive that area was, Frank’s breath caught in his throat and his mouth opened, just enough that Kain took advantage, softly, sensually slipping his tongue between the former spy’s parted lips. It wasn’t the first time Frank had been kissed this way, but honestly, he’d never felt someone take such care into the act, as though Kain was purposely mapping out every ridge, every tooth for future reference. The tongue withdrew, and the lips placed another soft kiss at Frank’s somewhat abused bottom lip before he pulled back.

Despite the fact that Kain’s simple kiss had left him in nearly a pile of mush, Frank could only manage a faint chuckle. “Your glasses are steamed up.”

********

Ed waited for Aideen to climb into the front seat of the car, not failing to notice that she still looked suspicious of him. Nicholas was off to Winry and Al’s, where Auntie Pinako was baby-sitting. Ed only prayed his son helped with his cousins rather than make a situation worse.

Aideen shut the door and looked over at Ed as he pulled out from in front of the school. “Daddy,” she said, “is there a reason we’re going shopping today? I mean, it’s your birthday, so it has to be something I really need.”

“Well, honestly, I got my days screwed up. Too much time in the lab. I’d have taken you tomorrow if I’d really thought about it. But, we are getting something you’re going to need.” Ed could feel the heat rising to his cheeks. “We need to get you a bra.”

“Oh,” was all she said at first, looking out the side window. She didn’t turn as she added, “So why didn’t you say so last night.”

“Because your brother’s nosy, and I didn’t know how you’d react.”

“You didn’t have to keep it from me like it’s a big secret.” She looked down at her chest for a minute. “You really think I need one?”

“Sorry, honey.” They’d reached a stop light, and he glanced over at his daughter. “You’re taking this remarkably well.”

“I saw one of Auntie’s in the wash when I spent the night. She explained what it was, what it was used for…” She looked down again. “I still don’t think I need one yet.” She looked over at Ed. “Auntie said she didn’t know if the ‘two men’ raising me would be able to ‘bring themselves to talk about them.’”

“Sounds like Raine.” Ed pulled through the intersection. “Did she explain to you why they would grow?”

“Part of growing up, becoming a woman. She said that even though they’re mostly for feeding babies, as far as their purpose goes, that a lot of men like them.”

“Not all men.”

“No, she said not men like you, or Lieutenant Colonel Fuery.”

Mentally, though Ed was thanking Raine for having gotten the most awkward part of this out of the way through medical knowledge and being a woman, though far too blunt for her own good. Ed also wanted to talk to her about being so blunt with his daughter.

"There are also decent men who won't be fixated on them that aren't like me or Fuery."

"Oh."
“Did she explain some of the other things that might happen?”

“She said that I might notice that something makes me feel really good, and I’ll notice it,” She blushed, making Ed seriously wonder if he should be asking her this. “down there. And that it can get wet, and eventually when my body says it can… have babies, I’ll get a period, but not like the kind in English class.” She almost audibly swallowed. “She said that part sometimes hurts, and there’s bleeding.”

Yeah, Ed was really going to have to remind Raine that he needed to give this talk, or at least clear when it was appropriate to tell Aideen all of this. Personally, Ed didn’t know about his daughter, but to hear those things come out of the girl’s mouth not only made him want to lock her away until she was eighty, but also pray that the car could open up and swallow him.

“I didn’t know you knew that much.”

“Auntie said I might as well know it. Some of the girls in school talk about it, or their sisters going through all of this stuff.”

Ed pulled in front of the women’s clothing store, parking the black vehicle. “Was there anything else?”

“She said there was more, but that I was too young yet.” Aideen rarely blushed, but at the moment, she looked as embarrassed as Ed felt. “I wish I’d been too young for all of that.”

“Unfortunately,” he said, running his hand down her long hair, “embarrassment over these little talks is just one more thing that comes with growing up. Auntie Pinako and…come to think of it, your papa had to explain a lot of this to me.” Now there was a disturbing thought. Before they’d been together, one of Ed’s sex talks had come from Roy, on an official capacity discussing STDs, and since Ed had been young, he’d also learned quite a bit about positions and the act of sex itself. Now along with being embarrassed, Ed was just a bit traumatized by that last, absolutely unnecessary thought.

Aideen was not the type to hesitate for anything, yet Ed felt as though he was forcing her inside of the shop as he put his arm around her back and walked through the door.

“If it’s any consolation, I guarantee you that some of the changes your brother will go through will be embarrassing for him, too.”

Aideen held her hand up, index finger and thumb about an inch apart. In other words, it was a small consolation.

********

When Roy got home, he saw Ed once again in the kitchen, this time, bent over in the fridge. Unable to resist, he gave his husband’s behind a little tweak, getting a startled yelp from within the fridge.

“Hello to you, too,” Ed said as he pulled out of the fridge with a pitcher of lemonade.

“So how did it go?”

“We’re going to have to talk to your sister. I had to do very little talking because Aideen’s known about most of this stuff for going on two months.”

Roy had some mixed feelings about that idea. While he was grateful he hadn’t needed to give this talk to his daughter, he might have liked some advanced notice that his sister was already doing it. “Did she get some?”

“Yeah, about four training bras, they’re basically just shortened tank tops, and a couple lace ones.”

“Lace ones?”

“Relax. They’re not dirty lingerie, but she saw them, thought they were pretty, and it was the first time she looked happy through the whole ordeal. So we got two.”

“There weren’t any that locked in place?”

“They don’t make them,” Ed said, rolling his eyes. Then added quietly, “I checked.”

********

Nicholas hoped he’d never see the look of pure anger and humiliation on Aideen’s face when she saw it. Printed in one of those “rag” newspapers that came out in the evening was a picture of his sister, holding up a bra—yes he knew what they were—when she’d been shopping that day. The headline above it said “First Daughter Growing Up and Out.” Nicholas’s first instincts were to grab his papa’s gloves and incinerate the papers and the newsstand that sold them.

Nicholas put his hand on Aideen’s shoulder, and looked up at his sister, who was now an inch and a half taller than him. Her entire body was as stiff and rigid as a board, her gold eyes flashing only her rage, and her hands were balled into fists so tightly that her knuckles had gone white.

“Who did this?” she said.

Nicholas watched as his papa grabbed one of the newspapers, the man who ran the little stand arguing at first. “This isn’t a library. You have to pay—”

Their daddy smacked his right hand down on the wooden counter, cracking it and leaving a hand-shaped indentation behind. “Take a good look at me and the man holding the paper and say that again.”

“Oh, I’m sorry Lieutenant Colonel Elric, Sir. Fuhrer Mustang.”

“Son of a bitch.” Nicholas gasped at his papa’s sudden curse. “It’s the little prick from the ball.”

“Well, we know what’s going to be waiting for us when we get home.”

Nicholas knew there was no doubt the reporters would be waiting for a reaction from the family, from both his fathers.

“Aideen,” he said to his sister, seeing she hadn’t moved from her spot, still seething.

“I want revenge. You’re good at that kind of stuff. Any ideas?”

“How bad of a revenge?”

“How bad can we manage?”

“How about making the entire country hate him and throw things at him?” Aideen raised a dark eyebrow. “You’re the media’s darling. They love you and don’t want to see you hurt. That’s why they will be at the house, waiting to hear what you and our fathers will say.”

“Fine. But where does the country hating him come in?”

“Cry.”

“What?”

“Cry, tell the media you’re embarrassed, that the man hurt you by putting that in the papers. Make the media hate him and the country will hate him.”

Nicholas watched Aideen through the car ride home, seeing her at first contemplating his idea, then trying to make herself cry, obviously lacking in the skill he’d become rather good at. “Think of something sad. Like Carlida or Black Hayate dying.” He watched as she thought, eyes darting a bit as she was obviously trying to come up with something. He glanced up at his fathers, who had partitioned the vehicle between them so the adults could curse the reporter in peace. “Did you think of something?”

“Today when I was shopping for… well, you know. It was printed in black and white. There was a girl a little older than me shopping with her mom. Today, if our mother had been here, it would have been her.”

Nicholas could see the tears welling up in her eyes. “I think you have it.”

The car pulled up to the front gate, where their papa stopped the vehicle, stepping out, their daddy at his side.
The two adults began to officially talk, Nicholas nudging Aideen out of the vehicle, tears freely flowing down her cheeks.

“Miss Mustang,” one of the reporters said, seeing her exit the vehicle, “what do you think of the article printed this evening?”

“You don’t have to answer anything,” Nicholas heard their papa say as he rolled down the window.

“I’ll answer,” Aideen said, sniffing. “I think the article was a mean and terrible thing to do. I just don’t understand why that man won’t leave me alone. He wouldn’t stop dancing with me at the ball, and now, he put something that was personal in the paper.” She rubbed away the tears with her hands. “Most of you are very nice to me, and I know that, but you just don’t understand what it’s like to have every minute of your life in a paper or on a newsreel. It is embarrassing enough to have to shop for those, and hard enough to do it knowing your mother…” She was getting choked up, and whether it was real or for show, he was certain the world would hate the reporter come morning. “your mother would have been the one taking you, but…” There was a faint sob, and both their fathers were now at her side to comfort her. “It isn’t fair. I want my papa to be fuhrer because he’s good at it, but that doesn’t mean I want cameras following me everywhere. Tomorrow, that man will have made money off the picture and story, but I have to go to school, and I know everyone will have seen it.”

Their daddy gathered Aideen into his arms, their papa rubbing her back as he did.

“She’s had a rough night, and we’re going home now,” he said in his best fuhrer voice. Once again their papa climbed into the driver’s seat, their daddy climbing in the back, Aideen still in his arms.

As the door was shut, Aideen looked over at Nicholas. “I think…” She sniffed. “I think I got too into it. I started thinking about our mother, and I couldn’t stop crying.”

“So this was planned?” Nicholas winced at the sharp gold eyes focused on him.

“I told her that if she cried to the reporters, they’d make everyone hate the man who wrote the story.”

“And you went along with it?” Aideen nodded.

“Why, you devious little brats.” Nicholas found himself being gathered into his father’s embrace.

“We okay back there?” their papa asked as the partition was rolled down.

“They staged the whole thing.”

“Remind me not to get on their bad side.”

********

“Ed, are you sure you don’t want to…”

“Roy, believe it or not, I’m exhausted.” He curled up on his husband’s chest, tucking his head beneath Roy’s chin, his metal arm and flesh leg thrown on top of Roy while the rest remained on the bed, Roy’s arm wrapped around him.

“I swear you’re part cat.” At that, Ed lightly licked Roy’s chest.

“Can’t purr though.”

“You should hear yourself during sex sometime.” Roy chuckled, rattling the chest serving as Ed’s pillow.

“So you knew all along that I was kidding this morning?”

“At first, no. I was jealous as hell. Not that you or Havoc would do anything, but the thought that you would dream you were… It pissed me off, to be honest.”

“You just cussed,” Ed said, running his hand down Roy’s arm, feeling sleep slowly capture him.

“I’m breaking precedent today.”

“I felt really guilty. Could have told me you figured it out, bastard.”

“I know you felt guilty. Sixteen pastries guilty.”

Ed jabbed him a bit in the ribs, tickling the older man more than harming him.

“I can’t believe Havoc was in on the whole thing. Making up that story about Elysia—”

“That wasn’t made up. He asked me the same thing when I was practically growling at him when I first came in.” Ed could feel Roy’s hands rubbing circles on his lower back. “I told him that teens have the tendency to lash out against authority figures. And sometimes you just have to wait for it to pass.” Roy kissed the top of Ed’s head. “I have had plenty of experience.”

“So you gave out parenting advice based upon your experience with your husband.” Ed could hear Roy, flustered, trying to come up with a response. “Consider that one before you go to sleep.” With that, he squeezed his grip around the brunette tighter.

“Thanks so much.” There was another kiss to his hair. “Happy birthday.”

“Mmm-hmm.” Ed let the sound of his husband’s heartbeat lull him to sleep.