Broken Will: Rewritten

A/N Hoho!! Welcome to third installment of my suicide enducing tale of depression. Yes, it will be a Max/Bryan, but I want to make this at least ten-fifteen chapters so the two wont meet for a while. And about the summary, Kai dumps Rei, then Bryan convinces Max to tell Kai how he feels and you know the rest.



Disclaimer- Do you really think the owner of beyblade would write a story like this?

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I sat on my bed, arms wrapped around my knees, thinking. This was all getting too much for me. If I didn't tell Kai about my feelings for him soon, I would crack. But Kai loved Rei and Rei loved Kai. There was no space left for me. There were probably locked in each other's embrace right now, possibly having sex. Why couldn't I tell him at the beggining? Maybe he would have accepted me. I can't be that ugly...can I?



There was a knock on the door. My mom came in, a towel round her midriff and her hair in rollers. "Max, are you all right? You haven't eaten since you came back from school, and it's nearly ten o'clock." She looked at me with worried eyes. Heh. At least somebody loves me. "I'm fine mum. Just not very hungry." She gave a sigh and left. And as she left the room, I was struck by a craving.



I didn't know what for, so I lay down on my bed trying to remember anything I was addicted to. Was I a smoker? Had I got into under-age drinking? Then it hit me. I had to talk to Bryan. But my computer had a virus and some technician guy who came round said it wouldn't work for another three days. I could just use a school computer. But then I'd have to wait till tomorrow. I folded the balnket over myself and switched off the lamp next to my bed.



Why was I so desperate to talk to Bryan all of a sudden? I hardly knew the guy and I'd only talked to him once before and I just couldn't work it out. 'Maybe it's 'cos we're both gay'...'Finally meeting someone who understands me.' My puzzled thoughts led me into a deep sleep full of strange dreams.



*



When I woke up the next morning, I had no idea of the surprises in store for me the next day. I got to school in the usual depressed mood, wondering if if I should eat lunch. Nah, eating takes up time that could be used in the computer room talking to Bryan. I got to school, tired after running there, oblivious to the scene I was about to witness. I got into class early with only a few people there. Mr Sickles was late as usual and everyone was either talking quietly, or stripping on the tables. I looked at one of the shirtless guys and felt a firmiliar tightness in my pants. No. Stop thinking like that. You only have eyes for Kai. But does he have eyes for you?



Mr Sickles walked in and the guys got off the tables and put their shorts back on. The class silencenced as he walked in. She made her way to the front of the room, and cleared his throat. "Now, class, today, we are going to pair up and write poems. I will give you and your partners twenty minutes to complete the task" What? Pairs? POEMS? I knew this man was psychotic. Besides, who would pair up with me in the first place? I sighed and raised my hand, ready to ask Mister Sickles if I could go to the toilet. At least that way, I could escape the embarassment of not having a partner. But before my hand could leave the table, Hiromi pulled up a chair and sat on the other side of the desk in front of me.



"Hey, Max." I sat there, shocked. Hiromi, one of the most popular girls in the ENTIRE school, was pairing up with me. "Eh..hi Hiromi." She smiled a plastic smile and put a lined paper down on the desk between us. "Look, I'm not too keen on this so you can just do it yourself, and we both know that you'd look stupid without a partner so...get to work!" Jeez...what a bitch. Oh well, it won't be that hard.



"Okay, class twenty minutes is up!" Mr Sickles came round to collect our work and paused, skimming mine. "Wow, you two, this is great stuff!" Hiromi smiled her plastic smile. "Thank you! We worked really hard on it." She looked at me with eyes saying 'don't you dare...'. Mister Sickles walked away, still marveling at our-my work. Hiromi returned to her desk, and high-fived Mariah who was sitting next to her. Apparently, Miriah had manipulated Michael by promising him a date if he did the work. Whores, the lot of them. We spent the rest of the lesson writing essays and proof reading our work. Jeez, literature is so dull.



LUNCH HOUR, CAFETIRIA

Yes, this was it. I had finally given in to hunger and went to get lunch. The queue was miles long, and it was a good half an hour before I was even half way there. Then it happened. Kai and Rei were sitting on a table together, eating each others faces out. Oh....it was so hard to watch Kai getting molested by that slut. Then they stopped, and pulled away from each other. They each had stupid grins on their faces, and were loking at each other like the other were a million bucks. Then, Li walked by, turned Rei around, and kissed him full on the lips. And I mean FULL. To make it worse, I gasped as Rei kissed him back.



Kai's face transformed from blissful to I'm-gonna-kill-you-brutally in a flash of anger. He pulled Lee away and punched him. Li fell over instantly, knocked out. "Rei! What are you doing!!"



"Kissing Li.." Rei said it like it was an everyday habit. "What? HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN ABOUT ME?!?!?"



"No, of course not." Rei remained calm as ever.



"Then what are you...."



"Look, Kai, it was just a kiss. I just wanted a taste of him is all."



" What? Look, if you're gonna lick every fucking penis that comes your way, then there's no point in this relationship!"



"Kai-"



"No! Just...no!" And with that, he left. Rei sighed and followed after him. Hey...this could be my chance. I could be the one to ease Kai's pain and rescue him before he commits suicide or something. Hah! Get real Max. Kai's never gonna want you. He'll probably date Takao next. ~Shudder~ that name brought chills to my spine. Just weeks ago, I was having a nice dream about Kai, when he comes in and kisses me. It was like....gross...worse than kissing girls.~Double Shudder~. I got my food and sat down to eat, alone as usual. Joy. Stale bread with slug soup (or as the lunch ladies like to call it, vegetable soup).



I finished the meal (I will never eat lunch in this school again) and left for the library, hoping to talk to Bryan. Then I came across Kai in a jam packed corridor. "Max..." I looked at him as if to say, what the hell are you doing talking to a nobody like me? Go flirt with Takao or something! "Max, theres something I need to tell you..." Uh oh. Was he going to come crying to me about all his social problems and teenage hormones? Wait. He's feeling emotional. Now's my chance. "No, Kai, theres something I need to tell you first." His eyes brightened up.



"Kai...I love you."



My heart skipped a beat and time seemed to stop. Kai was holding a mike in front of my face and my statement had just rang out through every speaker in the school. Oh God. This is not happening. Tell me this is another dream!! TELL ME I'M ABOUT TO WAKE UP!!!! Kai laughed, a cruel smirk. No. No dream of mine could create such an evil look. "Congratulations Max. Now the whole school knows." My blood boiled liek a volcanoe. Anger ran through my veins, bursting to be released. Everyone in the corridor was silent, except for a few giggles here and there. Kai held the mic to his face.



"Who would have known that Max Mizuhara was GAY? And to think he had a chance with me??!" Rei and Kenny came up behind Kai, laughing their guts out. Kai continued. "And none of this would have been worth it without the help of my friends here!" I stood there, frozen in shock. I managed to mutter three words. "But...but, how?" Kai laughed his evil laugh and lokked me in the eye, piercing my insides witha sharp sword (figure of speech...). "Well Max.Let me explain."



"No Kai, let me." Rei. "You see, a few days ago, you were in the computer room talking to someone. Luckily, Kenny here managed to read part of the conversatoin and that just happened to be the part about you loving Kai. So naturally, Kenny came running to us and told us everything." Kenny sniggered. Kenny? I never pinned him as the type. Oh, well. You can't trust people if you don't know them. Slowly, the anger inside me reached boiling point. I hate him. I Hate Him. I HATE HIM!! I brutally lashed out and struck Kai on the jaw with my fist. Kai fell back, and was caught by Rei. He stood back up and retaliated, punching me. Blood streamed from my nose and I smiled, fixing Kai with a malicious look. "Nice one Kai." And with that, I walked away.



The walk home was a slow and painful one, The blood on my face remained uncleaned and had dried where it was . I got home and rang the doorbell. My mother opened the door. She was mess. Her face was covered in tears and there was a large bruise on her forehead. Before I could react, she reached out and hugged me. She slowly let go. I'd known he was abusing her from the start. Everytime we went out as a 'family', she hardly said a word, and never argued with him.



I wish she's never divorced Dad. He was worth ten of HIM. She'd met him a week after the divorce. His name was Steve. At first it was great. They got along and he treated her like a queen. But then he found out she had a son of her own. He tried to convince her to have a child together. Something they could share. Something that was Both their's. Not like me. I was just a footnote in his great plans of two kids and maybe a new house.



The first time he hit me was when I was twelve. He'd asked me to congratulate him on getting my mother pregnant. He asked me to call him father. Of course I refused. Then he smacked me right acroos the face. And forced me to say it. I looked him in the eye and spat on his face. He'd raised his fist, and just as he was about to hit me, my mother walked in. He'd told her, he was teaching me a martial art. But she'd seen through it. She didn't do anything though.



Then she had the abortion. By that time, he was heavily alchoholic, and he would come home, knock her up a bit, then pass out on the kitchen floor. Usualy, it ws me who cleaned up his vomit. He'd wake up three days later, while I was at school, and without me to distract him, he'd go straight for mom.



"Mum...? he hit you again. Didn't he?" She shook her head. "No Max, I fell over and bumped my forehead no the counter. But listen closely. He's not abusing me Max. He's really a good man, and I'm sure he's just going through a tough time at the moment...just go to your room, and don't get in his way when he returns. okay?"

All I did was nod and walk past. If she was gonna be ignorant, it wasn't my problem.
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tbc



Okay, THATS the end, a bad ending, but I need to work on the next chapter .... By the way, Max's dad in the anime is the abuser in this one, and his real father divorced when Max was four.