Dusty Road

Now, I want to say here---that what I mention in Ed\'s history are events as I tried to understand them. I watched fansubs [I\'ve never seen the dubs]--so I may have something wrong. I saw a fansub of the movie too--and you can never be %100 about fansubs, of course. So. If I missed something--I will do my very best to correct it.

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WTF?! Scar, Full Metal Alchemist (Just kidding, of course---but it would have been hilarious.:)
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Yet, several days later, they were on a train pulling into the city that Ed had, thus far, left and avoided. He felt his mood grow darker and darker the closer they came.

“I forgot to ask,” Altec murmured, as they grabbed their things to exit the train. “What ever happened to that gypsy you met, Noa? Why didn’t you stay with her?”

Ed shrugged. “She got married.”

“Really? That’s interesting.”

Ed glanced at him as he checked his pockets to be sure he had everything. “Why?”

“Sounds to me like she was smitten with you.”

Ed looked aside, he almost walked away without saying a word and then, he wasn’t. He heard himself say, “She…was. But…I didn’t love her. Then when we were visiting Italy she met a man and wanted to stay.”

“A gypsy that didn’t want to travel any longer?”

Ed shrugged again. “She was a little irregular.”

Boy, was that an understatement.

He’d been fine with her at first. She was pleasant to travel with but she had a nasty habit of looking in on his thoughts when he was asleep. She said it was only to see the place he dreamed about. But one night Ed had dreamed about Winry. And the things he’d felt with her were so…real. Too real. He’d awakened and there Noa had been, crouched over him, with her lips on his. He’d jerked away and demanded for her to explain herself.

She had tried, through tears, to tell him that he hadn’t meant to kiss him but she had been looking in on him and he whispered in his sleep…and she couldn’t help it. It had just happened.

By this point, however; Ed’s general disposition towards the world wasn’t exactly trusting anymore. He’d accepted her apologizes but had warned her, not very kindly, to never do it again. His dreams were his, not hers, and they were private, and although he would never really know if she did it again or not, she swore she wouldn’t. Ed would have been okay, even with that, however; he’d woken up once in the middle of the night and saw her crouching over Al, her forehead touching his. And in a fit of blind rage that she would dare do it to his brother, he’d sent her packing. Frankly, he felt she was lucky he hadn’t killed her, but he didn’t want to talk about that.

“She sounds beautiful and very kind. Why didn’t you like her?”

“What do you mean?” Ed shot at him, giving the old man a sour glance as they stepped onto the platform behind Mariah, who was coughing again (reminding Ed horribly of Alfons Heiderich), and Al.

Altec’s eyes twinkled. “Well, from the sounds of her—what wasn’t to like?”

Ed rolled his eyes, giving an irritable sigh. Because I hated being spied on. Winry popped into his mind again. He wrestled it away, pushing it back.

“Ah,” said Altec, with an air of great wisdom on the subject. “You loved someone else?”

The old man was getting a little too close to Ed’s comfort zone. “That’s not something I want to discuss.” He strode ahead to take the lead. They followed him down the familiar streets (at least to him) to a small hotel. Nothing seemed to have changed since he had left. As he spoke with the clerk, he suddenly wondered if the Hughes from this world had ever had the courage to ask Miss Gracier on a date. He smiled, even if he wanted too—he wouldn’t be able to go see the man. He didn’t want to be recognized here. It would make him uneasy.

Ed and Al pooled their money and paid for the hotel room, carrying their things up to the room themselves. It was a sparse space with two large beds, a window, a water basin to wash your face under a small mirror, and a writing desk.

“We’ll go to the building tomorrow,” Ed informed them. “For now, let’s get some rest.”

“How far is it from here?” Mariah said, a little hoarsely.

“Not far. And don’t surprised it if isn’t there at all. The place was probably destroyed or burned down. It was a professor’s villa but it was left alone after I destroyed the Gate.”

“My, aren’t you a pessimist,” Altec told him, grinning.

In fact, Ed felt something of an optimist. With any luck, the place would be gone, he’d have nothing to show Mariah and Altec and they could get the hell away from here.

Altec excused himself for a few moments to take a letter to mail to his friend, the baker, saying it had to do with Noat. He agreed to meet them in the hotel restaurant for the supper that came along with their room.

Mariah ate very little, saying her throat was sore. She coughed into her napkin several times, always placing it very delicately back into her lap, smiling.

Ed felt uneasy again. What if she was like Alfons? No, no, of course not—Alfons had coughed up blood. He’d been living with Mariah for seven months and she’d never once coughed up blood.

What are you worried about her for?

He scowled. He had come to really like Altec and Mariah, as much as he hated to admit it. He glanced at Al, who was quietly eating at a bowl of soup and drinking a soda pop. Ed had to smile, forcing away his anxious thoughts of Mariah, as he remembered the very first time he’d given Al one of the fizzy drinks.



It had been Al’s second week in Europe with Ed. He’d taken his brother into a little store to pick up some bread to take with them and, on an impulse, bought a little bottle of the dark liquid.

“What is that?” Al had asked, looking curiously at it as Ed handled the bag of bread into one hand.

Ed smiled at him. “C’mere, we’ll sit down. You have to try this stuff.”

So they found themselves a bench in a mostly deserted park. Ed carefully twisted off the cap and handed the cool bottle to his brother.

Al gave him a suspicious look.

“Go on, try it. You’ll like it.”

Al, still looking warily at him, slowly raised the bottle to his mouth and took a quick sip. He flicked his tongue over his lips and then took another sip. He pulled it away and looked at it. “What is this stuff?”

“S’called soda pop. Take a big drink, Al. You’re probably not getting the full flavor.”

Al nodded. He tipped his head slightly and took a great gulp from the bottle. Almost immediately he choked, bubbles most likely burning his nose. Ed burst out laughing.

“What the hell is that stuff? It’s like acid!”

Ed doubled-over with laughter. Al slapped him over the head.

“People here drink it all the time.”

“Why?”

“Because it tastes good to them. It’s not bad once you get used to it.”

Al made a face and handed the bottle back to Ed, who grinned evilly at him.


The memory made him grin to himself, picking up his teacup and taking a sip from it. Altec returned then, reminding Ed of what he’d promised to do and he felt his good feelings evaporate. He set his teacup down. “I’m going to bed.”

Al started to get up. “Ed…”

He smiled at Al, waving his concern away. “Don’t worry, jus’ tired. Gonna need some rest for tomorrow.”

Al slowly sunk back into his chair, not really looking convinced.


That night, Edward Elric dreamed.

He dreamed terrible dreams. Nightmares. He dreamed of past fights and dead friends. He dreamed of spidery monsters and eyes…always watching…always watching. He dreamed of the Gate. It opened to the terrifying darkness. Ed could see the horrible, grasping arms but he couldn’t move. He couldn’t run. They wrapped around him, pulling him in, dragging him away. He screamed for help. For Al. For Winry. For anyone. But no one came. No one could come. They were already there, the little black things dissolving their flesh, tearing them apart.

Panic sunk in. He could see the monster he’d created. Sloth. He could see her original form. The rolling eyes, the steaming organs, the fleshy, flopping insides draped over her outsides. It reached out to him.

No! No! No!

With a jerk and a gasp he awoke. He sat up, forcing his fingers into his hair. He was covered in sweat and his head was pounding.

It was night outside. He could just make out Altec and Mariah sleeping quietly in the other bed.

“Ed?” Al was sitting up, still in his pants and his dress shirt. “Are you all right?” He rubbed his eyes, looking tired.

Ed heaved a few breaths, nodding. “Just a bad dream.”

Al nodded quietly. “You want something to drink?”

Ed smiled, suddenly feeling exhausted. “Sure.”

His younger brother nodded again, creeping up to get him a glass of water from the pitcher by the mirror. He brought it back to Ed. He shot it down in a few quick gulps, making his head spin. When he lowered the glass, he panted for air. He sat it on the nightstand. “Thanks, Al.”

“Try and get some sleep, Ed. Mariah wants to leave in the morning.”

Ed snorted. “I suppose that’s all right. The sooner we get this done, the better.”

Al was silent for a moment. “This really makes you uneasy, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah, it does.”

“Are you angry with me?”

Ed paused. “No. It’s not your fault. I made the deal.”

There was silence again.

“Well,” Al started, after a moment. “Try and get some sleep then.”

They laid back down. Al dropped off quickly. Ed rubbed his eyes and stared at the ceiling. Before he realized what was happening…he was asleep. And this time, he dreamed of a girl’s gleaming blond hair and bright blue eyes.

Winry…

The next morning, Ed awoke still feeling exhausted. He sat up and rubbed his eyes against the light streaming in from the window. Mariah was dressed, sitting at the writing desk, seeming intent on something. Al and Altec were gone.

“Where’s Al?”

Mariah turned around and her whole face brightened when she saw he was awake. “He and Altec went to grab some breakfast. They said they’d bring some up here.”

“Why doesn’t anyone ever wake me up?”

Mariah smiled softly. “Your brother said you had bad dreams last night. He wanted to let you sleep.”

Ed scowled. He got up and shrugged on his shirt (he’d really need to get a new one soon) and his vest. He got his hair out of his eyes without too much difficultly and washed his face off in the water basin by the mirror.

Breakfast was a quiet affair.

All too quickly, Ed had to put on his coat and grab his few possessions (he took them with him everywhere, just in case), and led everyone out into the street.

And to his immense disgust, fear, and misery, the villa was still standing. All it had was a sign saying, ‘No Trespassing’, on it.

He tensed and his left arm went cold. He felt sick to his stomach. But, he was Edward Elric, and he wasn’t afraid. He’d made a deal, he’d stick to it. So he went around the old college professor’s villa and bashed in a back door.



“Wow,” Altec said, standing and looking straight up.

“That’s where the Gate was opened,” Ed explained, pointing to the circular rim.

“And this is the remains of the Circle?” Mariah asked, pacing about the floor. It was still crusted over with blood and black goo from the Gate. A mere fourth of Circle was still there. The remnants undisturbed and this had puzzled Ed. The windows of the dome were broken; the elements should have washed it away long ago.

He and Al stood on the edges of the incomplete transmutation Circle. Al smiled sheepishly at him. “It’s tempting, isn’t it?”

Ed chuckled miserably. “Yeah, it is. We’re drawn to it.”

“What’s tempting?” asked Altec, pacing inside the Circle. Mariah coughed behind him.

“To complete it,” Ed told him, a half-smile perching on his face. “Not even to necessarily use it but just to complete it.”

“Why don’t you?” asked Mariah.

“What would be the point?” Ed asked in return. “It’s not like we can use it. Besides, it’s only a reminder of what we can’t have any longer. It’s useless to dwell on such things.”

Mariah smiled her warm smile. “It is useless to dwell, I’ll admit that. But I think it’s okay to have fond memories of something.”

Ed gave her a strange look. “What are you getting at exactly? You want me to finish this Circle?”

“Yes. I’d be interested in seeing what it looks like. I’m a traveler remember—“

“Don’t worry, I definitely do. I’ve only heard it about six million times.”

“—and I like history and culture. I’d like to sketch a copy of it.”

Ed narrowed his eyes at her.

Mariah ticked her head to the side. “I suppose you think I’m some kind of spy? Or that I work for that old Thule society?”

Ed raised his eyebrows. “The thought is crossing my mind right about now.”

“Oh, c’mon, Ed. She’s not a spy. We’ve been living with her for seven months. I think she’d have shown her colors by now.”

Ed crossed his arms. “You’re too damn trusting, Al. It’s gonna get you in a lot of trouble.”

Al rolled his eyes. “Come on, Mariah. I’ll show you.”

“Al, don’t you dare!”

Al whipped around and glared at him. “Don’t order me around, Ed. I can do what I want. I’m not a kid anymore.”

“Dammit, Al! What are you, twelve?! You know better than this! It’s not like we’re—“

“Shut up, Ed!”

And so, against his better judgment, Al took out his chalk and completed the Circle. He showed Mariah all the symbols and what they meant and tried to express in words how it all meant binding and structure and…and….life. Dutifully, Mariah had taken out a pad of blank paper from her satchel and was sketching in it, writing down what Al was saying as well.

Altec paced around the perimeter of the whole thing, rubbing his chin as he hobbled along.

Ed, seething, stood on the outside, coldly glaring at Al and the Vandermarks.

What have I done to deserve this?

He just wanted to get out of here. He’d accepted that he’d never be able to go home. He’d taken the realization bravely, with his shoulders squared and his face front. He was used to this world now. The whispers of war were just something else to deal with. He worked odd jobs and picked up skills. He fumbled with Winry’s excellent auto-mail on his own and had almost completely adapted himself. Did he miss his old world? Yes, of course. But did that mean he had to stand in this place he hated and recall how he’d almost grasped it—only to have it slip through his fingers because of the damn Gate? He sighed.

If there is a God, he either hates me—or he thinks I’m hilarious.

That made him scowl.

“Hey Ed, come have a look! I’m done!”

Al sounded so pleased. It took everything in Ed not to yell at him. He walked over to Al and stood next to him. Mariah was carefully walking around the Circle, making little marks on her pad of paper. Altec crossed over the perimeter to join her, looking interested in the designs. Al had finished the Circle almost perfectly.

Except right there.

“Here,” Ed said, in the tone of a grizzled old teacher. He motioned for the chalk. “You missed a line.”

Not even thinking about it, he got down on his knees. Al got down next to him, laying his hands on the perimeter to lean forward so he could watch Ed. Ed put one hand down in the Circle to steady himself and then made a few marks with the chalk.

At that same moment, they heard a cough.

There was a flash of blue light. Ed jerked his head up. Mariah was smiling at him. Her handkerchief was covered in something red, so was her hand. She laid them both down in the Circle.

He told them about Ed’s blood and touch activating the Circle…

Ed instantly withdrew his hands. Al did as well. “What the hell are you doing?!”

Mariah kept her bloody hand and handkerchief on the ground. She looked at the Circle. Altec was drawing out a knife. He slashed his hand, laying it down next to hers. He sat on his knees and looked at them.

“We’re old. You boys are young. We want you to go back.”

Ed stared at him, horror stabbing him in the gut. Why did people in his life keep coughing up blood?

“What?” Al whispered.

“We’ve heard your story. We want to see this Gate. We want you to go home.”

Ed could hardly comprehend what they were saying. “You said you didn’t want to see this Gate if you had to sacrifice yourself!”

“No, no. Mariah said if you had to sacrifice yourself. She never said nothing about herself and me.”

“Get out of the Circle,” Al ordered, in an icy tone that Ed had never heard before. “We can’t let you do this for us.”

Mariah looked up. She smiled. “We want to, Alphonse Elric.”

“But we don’t want you to! Else, hell—why did we bother rebuilding your house?! Why did we spend so much time with you?! Why did we…” Ed flailed his arms uselessly. He was grasping at straws. “We already said we wouldn’t sacrifice anyone to go across the Gate!”

“You’re not sacrificing us. We’re choosing to do it,” Altec told them, as if he were merely answering a question of how to best seal a wood plank.

“YOU CAN’T DO THAT!” Ed roared at them. “YOU CAN’T MAKE THAT CHOICE!”

“Can’t we?” asked Mariah, narrowing her eyes at him. “Can’t we choose when and where we want to die?”

“Why do you want to die here?” Al yelled desperately.

“We’re already dying,” Mariah spoke low. “Can’t you see?” She lifted the handkerchief, covered in blood. “I’m dying.”

“And I wouldn’t last long without her. I’m a terrible cook.”

“B-but…you can’t…you can’t do this! You—!” Ed sputtered. Alfons Heiderich had died in vain for him—he couldn’t allow that to happen again…

“Please, Ed.” Mariah stood now and crossed the Circle, Altec followed. She put an old, withered hand on each of their shoulders. Altec ruffled Al’s hair. “We will die soon. Maybe it won’t be this year and maybe not the next one but soon certainly. I know I’ll be dead before winter. I want to choose my fate. If I’m going to die, I want to do something extraordinary.”

“I, as well,” Altec told them. “I’m eighty-nine years old. I’ve lived long enough. If I’m gonna go, I wanna go with a bang.”

“And I was a traveler, you know and at eighty-six, I’m ready for the next big adventure.”

“But—!“ They both started.

Then Mariah was wrapping her thin, twig-like arms around both of them. “Equivalent trade,” she whispered in their ears. “I had you do all that work and all I ever repaid you with was food and a place to sleep. I told you I would make it up to you. You’ve paid the price…and now you’ll get what you deserve.”

Ed shoved himself away. “Woodwork isn’t worth a life!”

Altec cheerfully leaned over, wrapped an arm around Al’s head and rubbed his hair with his knuckles. “It is if you’ve been old, lonely, and lazy in the middle of nowhere for twenty years.”

“Oh, we weren’t that lazy.”

“Oh, aye, I suppose we just didn’t get out much.”

“That sounds much better.”

“Well good. Anyway. You boys came and it was the best decision we ever made, taking you in. You did good work and you are good boys. You’re honest and…troubled but you’re both wonderful. As much as you don’t want to admit it, Edward Elric, you’re just as worthy of praise as your charming brother. You told us your story. The abridged version—“

“And then unabridged version.”

“And you won me over. I thought, If I’m gonna die…I want to do it for these boys, so that’s what I’m gonna do. As it turns out, Mariah had the same idea, only she put in words much better—“

“That’s why he married me.”

“—and she was already sick then. She wanted to choose her fate. And I already said, I wouldn’t last without her. I’m a miserable cook. I want to go with her.”

The Elric brothers stared at them, disbelieving.

“And Edward,” Mariah said, reaching for him again and putting her old arms around him, she laid his head on her shoulder. “I want you to see that girl again. And don’t you wait around. Go see her the moment you get back and you better tell her how you feel about her.”

“And if she ain’t married (or even if she is), you better sweep her up and kiss ‘er.”

Ed stared off of old Mariah’s shoulder, looking at the floor but not seeing it.

“But Edward,” Mariah continued, choking back a cough. “If she hasn’t waited for you, don’t be angry or surprised. And don’t run away. Be her friend. She’ll want you around. And you too,” she told Al, sweeping an arm around his neck. “You charming little devil. If I didn’t have half the girls’ fathers in the village asking me who the heck was Alphonse Elric! If I had a coin for every time, I’d be a rich old woman.” She hugged them both tightly. “Allow me to do this for you,” she whispered to them. “I want to. We both want this for you.” She leaned away and Altec stepped from behind Mariah and joined the circle.

The old man tucked a wrinkly finger under each of their chins and chucked them upwards to look at him. “We want you to go home.” He smiled. “I was in the military when I was about your age, Edward. I saw many places and I was always gone…and I remember what it’s like to feel as though you have no home to go back to. You dream like I used to, of fighting and death. I’ve watched you both in your nightmares. It’s all over your faces how much you’d like to be home. As much as you’ve matured and accepted that this place is your home now, some part of you will always live in Rizenbool.”

Al, the coldness in his face gone, had shining tears in his eyes, staring up into their faces. Ed stared at the floor. “We…can’t let you do this…”

Mariah squeezed his hands in a surprisingly strong grip. “You probably feel as though this will be your fault? Boy, I’ll tell you right now, I’m choosing to do this. I’ve always lived my life how I felt like it (that’s why I was a traveler). And I’ll end my life how I feel like it. You can’t feel guilty for a decision we make. Without you two, I’d have to die in a miserable bed, regretting that I never did something extraordinary. But I’ve heard your story and you know what?” She gestured to the Circle. “I’m honored that I have the chance to do this. There is nothing I would want to do with what little time I have left, than exchange it so you two can go home. Rizenbool will always be your home.”

“Couldn’t’a said it better myself, Ma.”

“Well, I should think not.”

“Ha! Ha!”

Mariah stroked their cheeks. “Do you understand?”

Ed simply continued to stare at her. He couldn’t speak. He couldn’t think. He couldn’t move.

Al nodded; his lip was trembling. “Yes,” he whispered.

“Thank you,” Altec told him. He reached down and hugged Al first, then Ed. “You two remind me of my sons, except infinitely more animated.”

“That’s a terrible thing to say about our sons.”

“We’ll be goin’ to meet ‘em soon anyway.” Altec said, and he laughed.

“Tactless,” Mariah snorted. She turned to Al and hugged him tightly again, then she turned to Ed. He could barely get his eyes to focus on her. She smiled very softly for him and hugged him. “We want to do this for you. And don’t forget what I told you about that girl. Okay?”

Ed swallowed, staring over the old woman’s shoulder. He felt as though he’d been clubbed over the head.

Mariah pulled away. He stared into her tired gray eyes. She nodded to him and turned away. Altec followed her to the middle of the Circle. Mariah had a coughing fit and Altec helped lower her to her knees. She laid her bloody hand on the floor. Altec renewed the cut on his hand and laid it down again.

Al dropped to his knees, looking as though he might cry. He was breathing hard. “Ed.”

Ed couldn’t respond. His mind had ground to a complete stop. Why did people do this to him? Why did they insist on helping him? It all ended up going to hell anyway. His father, Alfons Heiderich, even Roy Mustang had protected him from the war and his own screw-ups in Lior. Hughes had been murdered. He had abandoned Winry. He had done so many stupid things…why would these two want to help him? Why? Alfons had died for no reason. He ended up coming back to this miserable place. How could he—


“Ed,” Al repeated. He reached up and tugged on Ed’s coat, effectively pulling him over. He hit his knees hard, jarring his teeth.

Ed blinked; he looked at Al. He started to shake his head, to try and talk, to attempt to object. Al shook his head and looked at the couple. “They really want this for us, Ed.”

Ed trembled. “B-but…”

“They want it…”

Al stared at the couple for a second more. They smiled and waved. The younger Elric brother looked down at the Circle. He swallowed the miserable indecision on his face and laid his hands down.

Instantly, blue light flared again.

Ed stared at Al. “We…Al…”

Keeping one hand on the Circle, Al reached over and took Ed’s left arm and laid it down. Ed saw the tears on Al’s cheeks. The elder Elric brother looked at Altec and Mariah. They were smiling, looking almost joyful. Altec had one hand on Mariah’s shoulder. Both of hers were on the stone, but she was looking up.

“Do it, Ed. Hurry up.” Al choked.

Still staring at them, Ed laid his metal hand down next to his flesh one.

If there’s a God….forgive me….don’t let it go wrong again.

The blue light flashed like lightening.

And there was their one-way ticket home.



Meanwhile, in the little village five miles up the road from the Vandermark house, their friend the baker sat down on a stool and opened the letter he’d just received. It had been sent express and marked as urgent. He had no idea what it could be. In any case, he pulled out the paper and opened it. Inside, Altec’s spidery writing said:

Jeremiah,


By the time you read this, Mariah and I plan to be in the Great Beyond, if you know what I mean. Yes, we decided to go on a little trip to Munich with the Elric brothers and we won’t be coming back. And I don’t mean we’re going to live in Germany, I mean that we’re going to die.

Mariah, as she’s been sick so long, and I made this decision ourselves, so please don’t seek any sort of revenge or anything. The Elric brothers are not even aware of what we’re planning.

Please take care of Noat for me and make sure he gets plenty of exercise. Our house is all locked up but there’s a key under the rug on the front porch. Your son is about twenty, i’n’t he? He’ll be getting married in the spring, right? Well, tell him he’s welcome to the house. The Elric brothers helped us rebuild much of it, so he’ll get plenty of use from it.

But before you do that, Mariah told me to tell you to go to the house. She said that in our room there is a closet on the left wall. Open it and look at the floor. There will be a box there. She said to open the box. In it, you will find the story of the Elric brothers. She wrote it all down so that people would know what became of them and us. Those two boys told us their entire story and she remembered as much of it as she could. She wants you to remove this and keep it in a safe place. She put in the last of our money so you could have it leather-bound by Aaron next door. She wants you, at least, to read it and for you to understand that it is the complete truth.

Thank you for always being such a true friend to us. Oh, and your cream puffs—I always hated them. Haha! Just kidding!

We’ll see you on the other side,

Altec and Mariah Vandermark


Jeremiah let the paper fall from his hand onto the counter. He looked up out the window, his mind completely blank.



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