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Mirrors of Yesterday	By : ZaKai Category: Fullmetal Alchemist > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1942 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Alchemist, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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�

Mirrors of Yesterday

IV

Portrayal of Desire

�

When Roy opened the door, his
mouth instantly began to salivate.� He�d
been hungry before he came home, but the delicious smells in his apartment only
served to make him acutely aware that he�d hardly eaten at all today.

He let
himself in and shut the door as his eyes quickly settled to where Ed was
sitting on the couch and reading a book.�
Roy only
had a moment to take in the studious look of concentration that was painted on
Ed�s face before the man marked his spot with a finger and glanced up at
him.� Golden eyes scrutinized him
silently before moving to look at the clock, then back
to him.

�What
time do you usually get off work?� Ed asked, the unknown accent threading
through his speech in a way that made Roy
think he could listen to Ed talk all day.�
The accent wasn�t so thick that Ed was hard to understand, but was heavy
enough that it was definitely noticeable.

Roy took a moment to take in how Ed
was dressed.� The sleeves of his shirt
were rolled up to just above his elbows and his hair, which had been gathered
at the nape of his neck the day before, was pulled up into a high ponytail.�

�Six,� he
finally answered, moving his gaze from Ed as he put the umbrella away and shucked
off his overcoat.� After hanging the coat
up, Roy
breathed in deeply through his nose and said, �Smells good.�

Ed opened
the book again, and grunted, �Thanks,� before turning his attention back to
what he was reading.

Well... that went well... Roy thought wryly as he turned and made his
way into the small kitchen.� On the stove
was a pot that, until now, he�d forgotten he owned.� There was a lid on it and Roy debated silently with himself about
whether it would be okay if he looked inside.

�Hungry?�
a voice said beside him, and Roy
closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to hide the fact that Ed had
startled him.

�No,
actually, I just thought I�d see if what you made was edible,� Roy said smoothly, then cringed
inwardly.� This wasn�t the Ed he was used
to, and the last thing he wanted to do was offend�especially since he wanted Ed
to stay...

Not turning
his head, Roy
moved his gaze to where Ed was standing beside him. �The look Ed was giving him almost made him
laugh.� It was the same look Fullmetal
gave him when he�d been had and was trying to think of a good comeback.�

Finally,
Ed cleared his throat and said mildly, �Even if it�s not, I�m sure it�s the
best this pot has ever cooked.�� And with
that, Ed pulled off the lid and began to stir.

Roy smirked, feeling a little
relieved that Ed was still Ed, despite how much older he was.� Oh, of course, the response hadn�t been quite
the cocky and snide one his teenage subordinate would have given, but rather
the banter one would expect from someone more mature�and really, it was more befitting
of this Ed.

Grabbing
one of the two bowls that were sitting on the counter, Ed ladled out a thick,
brown liquid with chunks of what looked to be vegetables and meat.� Without a word, Ed turned and held the bowl
out.� Roy picked up one of the spoons from the
counter, took the bowl, and slowly stirred before taking a bite.

It was
good�better than good, it was amazing.�
He looked to Ed, who was waiting with an expectant look on his face,
then said, �Okay, it�s edible.� You can
stop looking at me like you�re waiting to see if I�m going to die or not.�

Ed smiled
and gave a good-natured chuckle before dishing some up for himself.� Without taking his eyes from him, Roy slowly took another
bite and wondered what Ed really thought of him.� So far, they�d kept the mood light, but how
long would that last?

Taking a
bite of his own stew, Ed made a small �mmm� sound, then glanced around.�
�Where do you usually eat?� he asked, obviously wanting to sit down.

�At the
cafeteria,� Roy
grunted, then walked over to the couch and sat down.� �Sorry.��
Ed glanced briefly at the paper covered desk as if wondering what kind
of table it would make, then shrugged and took a seat on the other side of the
couch.�

They ate
in silence, and Roy
tried to imagine what could be going on in Ed�s mind.� It was nerve-wracking, really.� Normally, he didn�t worry too much about what
people thought of him.� After all, he was
handsome, brilliant, talented, and could put on a great show of being
flirtatious with the ladies to avoid any suspicion that he was anything but a
ladies man.� Of course, he cared what his
superior officers thought of him because he wanted to be promoted, but even
then he was acting; pretending to be loyal.

But now...� Now, he�d let someone in on
his secrets; and not just anyone, but someone he wanted... someone who
shouldn�t even be here... and, worst of all, someone who probably would never
want him in return.�

He took
another bite and stared dully down at his food.�

Roy had always suspected that one day
he�d fall for someone that he couldn�t have, but he would have never, in his
wildest dreams, believed he�d fall for Edward Elric.� He glanced over at Ed, who seemed to be
absorbed in eating his food.� This man,
this Edward... he wasn�t the same.� It
wasn�t Edward Elric the Fullmetal Alchemist that Roy had fallen for.� Fullmetal was much too young for his taste;
much too wild, cocky, and bratty.

This
wasn�t to say that he didn�t care for Fullmetal...� Roy
glanced over at the photograph on his desk of the boy and his brother.� The truth was that Roy felt more like an older brother to the
two boys than anything else...� He felt
protective over them, wanted to help them, yet still liked to tease them when
he could.

Roy looked down at his bowl again
with a frown.� He didn�t feel that way
toward this man; this Edward Elric.� The
man wasn�t the boy he knew.� This man...
yes, he was Ed, but he wasn�t Fullmetal.� This Edward still had obvious �Ed�
traits.� He was intelligent, witty... his
basic looks�blond hair, gold eyes, a little on the short side�were the same as
Fullmetal�s, but there were fundamental differences.

This Ed
was much mellower, and had a deepness that Fullmetal lacked.� His mannerisms were more mature, the way he
held himself, his hair style, his clothing, even his accent was different...

Roy resisted the urge to look at Ed
and took another bite.� So far, there was
no sign that Ed was revolted by what he�d learned last night, and Roy wondered
briefly if Ed even remembered what had happened�after all, they�d both been
drinking�but then dismissed the thought.�
If Ed didn�t remember, then Roy
was sure the man would have been a little more alarmed at finding himself in
bed with him.

The
desire to look at Ed finally won out and Roy
lifted his gaze from his bowl to see that he was being stared at.� His gaze fixed on Ed�s for
a moment, then, not wanting the moment to become awkward, Roy said, �This is really
good.�

�Thanks...�
Ed murmured, idly moving his spoon around in his bowl.� �It�s actually my mother�s recipe; though...�� His voice became thoughtful. ��Pinako made it the same way, so I don�t
know... maybe it was hers first...�� He
shrugged as if it was of little consequence.�
�I haven�t been able to make it properly for a long time.� I�ve had to substitute some of the ingredients...�

�Because of where you�ve been?� Roy
asked interestedly.� Obviously, Ed had
been living somewhere other than Amestris for quite some time; long enough to
acquire the accent in any case.

Instead
of answering, Ed lowered the bowl to his lap and stared down at it in silence
for almost a full minute before saying, �It�s probably best if I don�t tell you
anything...� It�s possible that I could
be changing the future right now, just by the fact that I�m here and talking
with you...�� His voice trailed off, and Roy thought he seemed
dejected, and maybe even a little lost sounding.

�I�ve
actually been thinking about this a lot today,� Ed finally said, still looking
down at the bowl in his lap.� �I�ve been
wondering if I should leave.� You know, go somewhere else until I�m able to return to where I
belong.�

At that, Roy�s heart sank and his
stomach clenched.� He felt a sudden and
insane urge to beg Ed to stay, to plead with him, or even to try arguing with
him, but it wasn�t his place, and that wasn�t how he worked, so he simply
waited.� Ed had quite a few good points,
ones that Roy
had thought briefly about himself.� He
didn�t know what the future held, but Ed did; and if he thought it was best to
go, then that was what would have to happen.

Ed
glanced at him and Roy
imagined that he saw a pleading look there as well.� Finally, Ed said, �The problem is that
leaving could also cause difficulties...��
He shook his head, looked back down at the bowl and sighed heavily.� �The truth is that I really don�t know what
the right answer is.�

Roy blinked.� Ed
was admitting he didn�t know something?�
But, then again, he had to remind himself that this Ed was much more
mature than the one he knew.� Roy still had problems
admitting when he didn�t know something, but he was getting much better at
it.� A small smile briefly touched his
lips as he thought that maybe when he was Ed�s age he�d be better.

The
silence stretched out over a couple minutes and finally Roy decided that Ed was
finished, so he said, �Well, you�re welcome to stay here as long as you�d like,
but I�ll understand if you have to go...��
He trailed off as a lump formed in his throat.�

Maybe
this was all just an excuse to leave that didn�t involve what had happened last
night.� He normally wouldn�t believe that
Ed would have that kind of tact, but he might believe it of this Ed.� This Ed wasn�t Fullmetal...

�No
matter your reason,� Roy
said.� �If you need to go, then I won�t
hold it against you.�� He stood and
walked to the kitchen, where he rinsed out his dish and left it in the
sink.� The sound of Ed scraping the last
of the stew from his bowl met his ears, but Roy tried not to think about that, about what
he�d just said, or about last night.�
Instead he tried to decide if he wanted coffee or liquor�it was a safe
thing to think about...

He could
hear Ed getting off the couch and coming up behind him.� Roy�s
body instinctively wanted to stiffen at the closeness, but he forced himself to
stay relaxed�at least outwardly.� He
listened to Ed rinse out his bowl, and when the water was off, Roy asked, �Would you like
something to drink?�

�It�s not
about you,� Ed said shortly.

�I never
said it was,� Roy
answered easily, then reached up for the alcohol.� �Will this be fine for an after dinner
drink?�� He turned and gave Ed a neutral
look.� �I have coffee or tea as well, if
you�d prefer.�

Ed�s lips
pressed together and Roy
was sure the man was also clenching his jaw.�
He was used to seeing that expression on Fullmetal�s face as well,
though the teen tended to be more petulant than what his older counterpart was
being.

�I simply
said that I would understand if you had to go.�
Now, if you are having some
sort of problem with me, then you�d better come out and say it,� Roy countered easily.� Of course, he wasn�t exactly being fair, as
Ed obviously saw right through what he�d said.

�I don�t
have a problem with you,� Ed said,
anger threading through his voice.� �This
isn�t about you, and it�s not about me.�
It�s about changing things that shouldn�t be changed.� It�s bigger than you or me.� I know you understand these things because
we�ve talked about it before.�� Roy raised an eyebrow at that and Ed broke off with an
angry curse as he must have realized that whatever conversation he was talking
about hadn�t happened as of yet for Roy.� �You see?�
What if I make a slip like that, but worse?� If me being here causes you to treat me�my
younger self�differently, then it could change history!�

Roy set the bottle down on the
counter and folded his arms before saying irritably, �Do you really think that you�re
so important that history will be permanently scarred because you�re here?� As you said, it�s not all about one person.�

Ed opened
his mouth, then shut it for a moment before opening it again and saying, �Yes,
but it�s my history...�� His voice was no longer angry, but held a
desperate note to it; a pleading to be understood, and suddenly Roy felt ashamed.� Ed looked away; obviously uncomfortable with
the fact that he was showing such weakness and also embarrassed that he�d just contradicted
himself so badly.

�Don�t
worry about it,� Roy
said softly, then, on impulse, unfolded his arms and rested a hand on one of
Ed�s shoulders.� �Yes, it�s not all about
you and not all about me, but...� Perhaps
we�re all entitled to a bit of selfishness here and there.��

For a
moment, Roy
thought that Ed would shrug his hand off, but he didn�t.� Instead he, kept his gaze away and murmured,
�I thought I�d gotten over it being all about me...� I thought I�d grown out of it...�

Roy shook his head.� �I think we all retain a little bit of
selfishness, no matter how old we get.�

�Maybe...�
Ed said quietly, then shook his head.� �You must think I�m some sort of fool.�

Roy raised an eyebrow at the fact that Ed seemed concerned
with how he looked in Roy�s eyes, when Roy was so concerned
about what Ed thought of him.� �No, I
don�t,� he murmured, then gently squeezed Ed�s
shoulder.� When Ed glanced up at him, Roy said softly, �I think
you must be human.�

Ed seemed
to digest this for a moment, as if it was one of the most profound things
anyone had said to him, then, without warning, he began to laugh.� Covering his face with one hand, Ed shook his
head.�

�You�re
definitely not the man I remember you being,� Ed said, still laughing.� Roy
frowned, not exactly sure if he should be offended by this or not.� The laughing died to a small chuckle, and Ed
dropped the hand from his face, studying Roy
for a moment before saying, �Don�t give me that look.� It�s not a bad thing, it�s... well...�

Ed turned
a little so that he could lean back against the sink, then he folded his arms
and gave Roy a
bemused look.� �All those years...� I guess I only saw what you wanted me to
see,� Ed murmured and shook his head a little.�
�I was an inconsiderate ass, both then and just now, and I apologize.�

Feeling a
little uncomfortable now that the topic of discussion was him, Roy grabbed the bottle and said, �How about a
drink?�� Or two, or three... �Ed nodded his head, then
wandered back to the couch where he plopped down and rested his head on the
back of the sofa.�

Letting
his eyes wander over Ed�s body, Roy
took a moment to appreciate the sight before turning to pour a drink for each
of them.� What would they talk about
now?� Should he bring up the topic of Ed
staying with him for a while, or maybe he should just leave it alone...� He didn�t really want to talk about himself,
but he also wanted to know what Ed thought of what he�d said last night...

Roy grunted and told himself to be
honest.� What he really wanted to know
was if Ed would consider being with him... Though, in what
way?� He�d told Ed it wasn�t all about sex, and that was true,
but...� Be honest with yourself, Roy thought as he put the cap back on the
bottle.� You want sex.�

Just the
thought of it made his body react, and as he put the bottle away, he tried to
argue with himself.� I want a relationship too.� I
want someone to hold and be with.� I want
love... �He paused in his thoughts,
then conceded, And
sex...

Yeah, he
wanted all that other stuff, of course he did, he craved it desperately, but
right now, at this moment, he wanted sex.� Right now, he wanted nothing more than to
walk over to Ed and run his hands all over his body.� There was no point in trying to argue with himself.� He knew it
was true, but he wasn�t going to get
it...� He should just be content that Ed
didn�t hate and despise him and let it go... but it was so damn hard...�

Picking
up the two glasses, Roy
walked over to the couch and handed one to Ed before sitting down.� He took a small sip, trying to think of
something to talk about, but everything he came up with either seemed like a
lame conversation topic or was an awkward subject that he had no desire to try
breaching right now.�

In the
corner of his eye, Roy
saw Ed take a sip and shift a little to get more comfortable.� He was staring straight ahead at the
bookcase, and Roy
wondered if Ed was just as uncomfortable with the silence as he was.

Roy let his own gaze move around the
small apartment.� It would probably be
better to say that his living space was �tiny� instead of �small�, but it didn�t
really matter.� He really didn�t need
more space than this, given that he spent most of his time at work anyway, and
what time he did actually spend here was either at his desk or sleeping.� It was a good place for a bachelor like
himself, but how well would it work for two people?�

He took a
sip and thought about Ed�s words.� He�d
thought of leaving, but he�d said it was because he didn�t want to mess up the
future.� He didn�t want his younger self
to be treated any differently...

Clearing
his throat, Roy
said, �You don�t have to worry about me treating your younger self any
different than what I do now.�� He
glanced over at Ed to see that the man was giving him a silent, questioning
look.� Feeling that Ed wanted more of an
explanation, Roy
continued.

�You�re
not the same, the two of you.� I don�t
think of you as the same person.� I know
up here...�� He tapped his forehead.� �...that you�re the same person, but...�� He trailed off and shook his head.� �To me, you�re not the same person.�� Ed stared at him in thoughtful silence for a
moment, as if trying to digest what he�d just heard, then took a sip and stared
down at his glass.

�Ed...� Roy said quietly.� He wondered if the longing in his voice was
just as obvious to Ed as it was to him.�
When Ed slowly lifted his gaze, Roy
continued in the same soft voice.�
�Please... don�t go.� If you�re
worried about changing things, then stay here.�
Let me hide you until you�re able to go back to where you belong.� I want to help you.�

Ed opened
his mouth, then closed it again before looking back
down.� Roy felt himself deflate, and he took a long
pull from the glass.� Had he said too
much?� Had he pushed too far?� His words left an echo of desperation in his
own ears; his tone flaunting his pathetic loneliness...

�Why?� Ed
asked, breaking into his thoughts.� �If
you don�t see me and my younger self as the same person, then why would you
want to help me?� I�m practically a
stranger to you.�

Roy glanced at Ed, then away.� It was a good question, and one that he was
sure Ed knew the answer to.� In a weak
attempt to save himself, Roy said, �Well, you�re technically the same
person, and we do know each other...�

�No, we
don�t...� Ed murmured.� �You know who I
used to be.� You knew me when I was a
child, but you don�t know me now.� I...
well, I worked under you when I was younger, but I�m finding out that I really
didn�t know you either.� We were
associated with each other, but we never really knew each other.�

Roy turned his head slightly and
looked at Ed silently.� �But now,� Ed
said.� �We don�t know each other.� Not really.�
I�m a man now.� I�ve lived a life
that you�ll never know�one you�ll never understand.� And you... well... you�re not the man I
thought I knew.� You�re so... different.� You�re...��

Ed
grimaced a little and his eyes took on a searching look as if he was trying to
find the right words.� �You are the same as I remember.� I mean, I heard you talking on the phone with
my younger self, and that was who I
remember.�

Taking a
sip, Ed cleared his throat, then continued.� �I suppose now that I think about it, I did have glimpses of the real you from
time to time...�� His eyes took on a
slightly far away look, and Roy
was sure he was remembering something, though he doubted Ed would tell him if
he asked.� Finally, Ed came back to the
present and said, �But... it wasn�t like this, like now.� You... you�re not...�

Ed
floundered with his words for a moment, then finally settled on, �Maybe I see
you differently now that I�m a man, or perhaps it�s because I�m older than you
right now... I don�t know...�� He shook
his head, and murmured, �I just don�t know...�

Roy studied Ed for a moment, then downed the rest of his drink, stood up, and moved over
to the kitchen.� Maybe Ed really didn�t
know, after all, he was in a situation that was unusual and bizarre.� How often did it happen that you were stuck
in your past?� But Roy couldn�t help feeling as if Ed�s
reluctance had to do with what had happened between them the night before.� Maybe he was just being paranoid, but why
shouldn�t he be?� After all, people �like
him� weren�t exactly welcome with most people.�

He set
the glass by the sink before retrieving a candle from one of the drawers,
setting it in a holder, and lighting it.�
The only electric light in his apartment was in the kitchen, and it cost
too much to keep it on for long periods of time.� Besides, in the small town he�d grown up in,
there had been no electric lights.� That
was a city thing, not a country thing, so he was used to using candles.

Picking
up the candle holder, Roy
turned off the kitchen light before walking over to his desk and setting the
holder down.� He took a deep breath, then said as professionally as he could, �I have quite a bit
of work to do, Ed.� If you�re tired, you
can pull out the bed.�� He paused, then said, �I�ll find a place on the floor when I get too
tired.�

�I�m not
kicking you out of your bed.� I�ll sleep
on the floor,� Ed said stubbornly.

Roy turned and looked at Ed before
saying, �You�re my guest, and it would be bad manners if I had you sleep on the
floor.�

�Well, if
I�m going to be living here for a while, that means I�m not a guest,� Ed
countered, his voice holding a stubborn note.

�I
believe we already had this discussion,� Roy
said, folding his arms and giving Ed the most condescending look he could come
up with.

In
return, Ed stood up, set his glass down on the desk, and stepped in front of Roy before folding his
own arms.� His jaw was set in that mulish
way that Ed had about him, and as much as Ed seemed to be trying to stare him
down, Roy
couldn�t help noticing how the candle light made Ed�s golden eyes glow in a way
that mesmerized him.� His fingers itched
to reach out and touch Ed�s face, and he yearned to bend down and press his lips
against Ed�s.

�Mustang...�
Ed growled in a way that was very Fullmetal-like.� �We didn�t
come to an agreement last night.�

�Yes, we
did,� Roy said
smoothly.� �We shared, but I don�t want
to make you feel uncomfortable or make you feel like you�re any less of a man
by sleeping in the same bed as me.�� Roy wanted to drop his
head into his hands in embarrassment.�
This was not Fullmetal, and he
shouldn�t be making childish challenges.

Ed�s eyes
widened a fraction, then they narrowed; and, despite his embarrassment, Roy couldn�t help letting
himself smirk a little.� So... Ed was still the type of person who didn�t take well
to being challenged.� He supposed some
things never changed, and maybe that was a good thing...

Or maybe
it wasn�t, Roy thought
as Ed turned quickly and began tossing the couch cushions on the floor.� Ed didn�t seem to be too pleased with
him...� After pulling the couch out into
a bed, Ed turned and said coolly, �I do not
have a problem sleeping in the same bed as you, and I do not have issues with
my masculinity.� After all, I�ve slept
with plenty of men.�

Ed
stopped as he realized what he�d said, then closed his mouth and took a deep
breath through his nose, making his nostrils flare, before pointing at Roy and
saying with embarrassment threaded through his voice, �Not like that.�

Roy raised an eyebrow and said, �I
didn�t say anything.�

Ed opened
his mouth, then shut it again and looked away.�
�Look...�� Ed trailed off, then scrubbed a hand over his face.� �I�ve slept in the same bed with a few
different men in my life, but that�s all it was�sleeping...�� To Roy,
it sounded like Ed was making excuses, sounded as if he was trying to avoid
something, but he didn�t want to interrupt.�
�It was a necessity.� I don�t have
a problem sharing a bed with you, but that�s all it is, alright?�

There was
a long moment of silence before Ed turned and looked at him.� Roy
tried hard to keep his expression the same, but found that he couldn�t, so he
turned toward his desk and began to shuffle through the papers stacked there.� He didn�t want to show weakness...

�Sure,
Ed,� he replied in a businesslike manner.�
�If it doesn�t bother you, then it doesn�t bother me.�� He wanted to ask about the men that Ed had
slept with and why it had been necessary for him to do so, but again he doubted
that Ed would tell him.� Right now he
felt pleased that he was going to stay and that they seemed to have come to a
permanent agreement on the sleeping arrangements, yet he also felt apprehensive
about climbing back into the bed with Ed.

Just a
sleeping arrangement... but still, it was better than nothing...� Roy
looked over all the work stacked up on his desk and felt little desire to go
through any of it...

�You
know,� Ed said, and Roy
almost turned to look at him, but stopped himself.� �You�d probably be more productive if you had
a regular sleeping schedule.� A colleague
of mine did a study about the effects of sleep on the body, and he came to that
conclusion.� From what I�ve seen, you�re
just working yourself to exhaustion, then sleeping when you have to.�

�My work
is my life,� Roy
said, moving to sit.� He had goals he
wanted to reach and he wanted to forget how lonely his life was�wanted to
forget that he was different and that people would hate him for it if they
found out.� Overworking himself helped.

�I
understand that, but...�� Ed trailed off,
then said, changing the subject, �Do you have a place I can hang my
clothes?�� I don�t like leaving them
piled on the floor, and since these are the only ones I have right now, I�d
like to keep them as neat as possible.�

Roy waved a hand in the general
direction of the small closet between the coat rack and the first of the
bookcases.� �There are hangers in
there.� Feel free to use whatever space
is available.�

There was
another moment of silence in which Roy
began scanning a report.� He wanted to get
his mind off of Ed and the fact that he couldn�t have him.� After a minute, he heard the closet door open
and a rattling as Ed grabbed one of the hangers.� �I don�t sleep well when someone else is up,�
Ed complained.

�From
what I�ve seen, you can sleep anywhere,� Roy
countered as he slipped his glasses on.�
Why did they make the print so small anyway...?�

�You may
not have noticed, but I�m not as young as I used to be,� Ed said wryly as he
shut the closet door.�

�I�d
noticed something like that,� Roy
said.� Picturing Ed in his mind, the
desire to touch him flared hot and sudden; making him squirm slightly in his
chair.� His body didn�t seem to
understand the complexity of the situation he was in...

He heard
Ed grumbling something, but it sounded like gibberish to him, then the bathroom
door shut, leaving him in silence for a few moments.� Roy
sighed heavily and shook his head as he began scanning another mundane
request.� For someone who didn�t seem too
keen on sharing the same bed, Ed was certainly adamant about him going to bed
at the same time.� Though it could be
just as Ed had said about him not sleeping well when others were up, but it was
hard to believe.� Roy had often seen Ed sleeping next to his
brother on a floor or on a couch, while Alphonse, who couldn�t sleep, continued
researching.

The sound
of the bathroom door opening met his ears, before Ed said, �Fine, stay up, but
don�t expect me to take care of you when you get sick because you�ve worked too
hard.�

Roy turned slowly in his chair to
look at Ed, who was now burrowing under the covers with his back toward
him.� What
is that all about? he wondered in bemusement.� �Yes, mother,� he said and felt a little
amused at the small rumble coming from Ed.

Turning
back to his desk, Roy
lost himself in his work.� He was
interrupted twice by Ed tossing and turning in his sleep, and murmuring
something.� The third time it happened, Roy decided he�d call it
quits for the night.� Maybe Ed really
didn�t sleep well when others were up, or perhaps it was something else; but
whatever it was, Roy
didn�t need a grouchy Ed on his hands tomorrow.�

Standing
up, Roy
stretched and looked at the clock.� It
was two o� clock in the morning.� He
wandered to the kitchen and put the now cold pot of stew in the fridge before
undressing and getting ready for bed.�

After
blowing out the candle, Roy
stood by the bed, staring down at it for several minutes, then finally crawled
under the covers.� He turned his head and
stared in Ed�s direction.� While he was tired, he was also aroused at being
in the same bed with Ed again, and he wondered if he should go take care of
himself so that he didn�t do something he�d regret.� But, at that moment, Ed turned and laid his
arm across Roy�s
chest while snuggling up to him.�

Roy groaned inwardly because now if
he wanted to get up, he�d have to move Ed�s arm, and he didn�t want to do that.� Turning his head, Roy gazed at Ed�s sleeping face in the
darkness.� Why did it have to be you? he
wondered.� His base instincts were
pulsing and throbbing through his body, and his mind was trying to convince him
that he should just do what he wanted.�
Ed was a man, and what man wouldn�t enjoy some sexual attention?� But then, what would happen afterward?� The situation would be so awkward... and
then, Ed might decide to leave.� He
really didn�t want Ed to leave...

In the
end, he decided to try ignoring his need in favor of just being close to
Ed.� He slipped an arm under Ed�s neck,
wrapped his other arm around his body, and held him near.� On impulse, Roy softly pressed his lips against Ed�s
forehead, savoring the feel of his skin beneath his lips.� He wanted to do more than that.� He wanted to let his hands wander�wanted to
take advantage of the situation�but again he held himself back.� Ed was obviously not interested, and he
wasn�t the type of man to force someone against their will...��

He lay
awake for a long time as he thought about the situation he was in and what the
best way to deal with it would be.� How
would he hide Ed when the man�s younger self was such a recognizable
character?� How would he be able to live
with Ed, knowing there was no chance they�d ever be able to get together?� Would he do something stupid and make Ed want
to leave?� He�d never felt this way about
anyone...� How could he keep himself from
looking like a fool?�

As Roy finally began to doze
off, he realized there had been no tossing and turning, and no murmuring, from
Ed.� He was sleeping peacefully now, and Roy wondered again if it
really was true that Ed had a hard time sleeping when others were awake.� He thought about Fullmetal and about the
times he�d seen the boy sleeping with plenty of other people around.� He hadn�t had too much of a problem at those times.

Then it
dawned on him.� Each time he�d seen Ed
asleep, he�d had some sort of physical contact with his brother.� Perhaps it wasn�t the fact of other people
being awake and doing things that was the problem, he thought.� Perhaps Ed simply had a hard time sleeping
alone.� He tried to dwell on it more, but
his body was too tired and it wasn�t long before he fell into a deep and
restful sleep.

�

Thank you
all for reading thus far. I hope you�re enjoying the story. If
you�d like to receive email updates, either let me know in a comment and
include your email address in the comment or email me at zakaii(at)gmail(dot)com.

�

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Mirrors of Yesterday