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Unforgivable	By : thePrincesJewel Category: Dragon Ball Z > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 7485 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own DragonballZ, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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More Goten angst. He�s come to a very unhappy conclusion about Trunks. Be warned.

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He watched as she buzzed around the kitchen, preparing their meal. �Oh, Goku! There you are! Go wash up for lunch.� He sighed, slumping a little. Each day, he expected someone to come for him. And each night� He forced himself to walk to the bathroom, washing the dirt and grime from his skin.

His reflection in the mirror was pale. Pale enough that she�d noticed a difference, and she hadn�t noticed much at all about him. He washed his face, ran the brush quickly through his hair. His uniform wasn�t overly soiled, but he shed it anyway. He stepped out into the hall, crossing to the room he�d avoided as much as he could. He grabbed a fresh change, retreating again to the bathroom to put it on.

�Goku, call Gohan in, would you?� his mother requested as soon as he reappeared in the kitchen.

He flushed. �Gohan is at work, remember? He�s at the hospitals this week.�

She paused, frowning. �At� oh! Oh, that�s right. Well, sit down. I didn�t make it for you to stare at it. But do try not to inhale it this time!�

�Yes, ma�am,� he mumbled, fumbling with the chopsticks, bowing his head over his plates so that she couldn�t see his face. He knew something was wrong with his mother, had known it for years. Her obsession with him, believing he was his father. He�d tried to talk to Gohan about it, but his brother never seemed to have any time for him. For any of them. At most, he was at home three or four hours a week, he�d spent a whole day at home only once in the last year� or so his wife had complained. And when he was home, he was always trying to catch up the work he�d brought with him. His concerns had been dismissed with the casual statement that their mother was just getting old. Gohan had never even looked up from the papers that had been scattered across his desk. That had been two weeks before he�d moved in with Trunks� and she had only gotten worse.

�Goku� is there something wrong with the food? You aren�t eating.�

�Uh� no! No, it�s fine. I just� I was wondering when Gohan might be able to come visit again, was all.�

�Why, he�ll be home this evening, of course. Just as he always is.�

He dropped the chopsticks, fumbled to catch them before they fell on the floor. �Uh, right. Of course.� He set the utensils aside. �I� I�m not feeling too well. I�m going to go lay down.�

�Are you sick?� She jumped up and hurried to him, one hand going immediately to his brow. �You don�t feel hot.�

�Cold,� he whispered, pulling away. �I just need to lay down. I�ll be fine.�

�Well� if you�re sure��

�I�ll just lay down. I�ll feel better soon.� He hurried from the kitchen, pausing outside his room. One hand rested against the door, his forehead slowly falling forward to join it. The knob turned under his hand. He bolted to where he belonged, shaking, tearing off his father�s clothes and crawling wearily into his bed.

He hasn�t come. He hasn�t come. He hasn�t come� he won�t. He really meant it. His eyes welled, he willed the tears away. My prince, my love� my hate and my pain. Trunks� why? Why wouldn�t you just give me a chance to explain? Couldn�t you have given me that? I wasn�t bleeding anymore, I was healed!

He threw an arm over his eyes, then flipped and buried his face in the pillows. I didn�t want to die. I just� I wanted you to know what you did to me. I wanted you to see my pain� not just the pain I caused myself, but the pain I tried to cover by hurting myself. I wanted to keep my promise to your father - I wanted you to know. But you didn�t see that, did you? All you saw was that I�d cut myself again� and bled a lot.

I didn�t want to leave you, Trunks. I just� I wanted you to love me. The way I love you. I gave you everything, Trunks. Everything I was. I gave you me. My heart, my soul, my love. I gave you my body, my loyalty, my life. I don�t have anything left. Just� just a promise. A promise to tell you my only secret. But I think� I think you already know. I think you knew just how much you hurt me. Emotionally and physically. I�ve had time now, time to think.

Tears slipped from his eyes to soak into the pillow. Snatches of overheard conversations, the growing savagery in their times together. Watching as Trunks flirted with one girl after another, often tossing a casual, laughing look at him before walking out with one, coming to him later reeking of her. The scents of the lovers Trunks had taken that he hadn�t seen. The spars that had taken on decidedly unfriendly tones, with Trunks slamming him into the ground and taking him brutally, demanding that he scream his name for the world to hear.

I can�t deny it anymore� that you didn�t know what you were doing to me. I love you so much� but I can�t remember why. I told your father I remembered when our times together were fun. But� I was wrong. I remember fun times as chibis. I remember having a ball the day before you took me as yours. I remember how much that hurt, but how glad I was that we were together�and how bad I felt when you came by two days later smelling of sex with someone else and told me you needed a good fuck.

But� I remember tenderness, too. I remember you crying when you realized I was cutting myself. I remember how you would stop the bleeding, how you would hold me and tell me it would be better. And I remember that it would be. For awhile. And then something would happen, and you�d start hurting me again. You�d rape me�

I realize that now. I realized that after I talked to your father. What he said� he�s been there. He�s been me. Maybe� maybe I should call him. Mabye I should find out� what he did. How he got over the man he loved. The one that only hurt him. Maybe he can help me.

Slightly comforted by the tiny bit of hope he�d given himself, Goten drifted into a fitful sleep.

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Trunks: What? I wouldn�t do that! I wouldn�t! He�s my best friend!

Jewel: *points at muse*

Trunks: Hey! You! I wouldn�t do that to Goten!

Muse: *glances up. Looks back down at future chapter*

Trunks: I am not like that!

Muse: *smirks knowledgeably*

Trunks: But� but�

Vegeta: Give it up, boy. Jewel and that damned muse of hers don�t listen.

Goku: *very sad* Jewel? He�s been hurt all along?

Jewel: Looks that way.

Vegeta: Dammit, Kakarot, it�s just a damned story!

Goku: *just looks more unhappy. whispers* I know.
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- 48
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Unforgivable