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Not My Burden	By : Lunamaru Category: Dragon Ball Z > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 5278 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ, nor profit from writing this story.

Chapter List
- 4
- 5
Gohan=16 Goten=5 Trunks=6

Not My Burden

Chapter 5

When a Disaster Makes a Visit

“Gohan! I'm hungry!” Goten called out from outside, making the teen cleaning the dishes groan. What was it with Saiyans and eating a lot? It was costing them though: the Briefs had gone on vacation and on top of that, Trunks had been enrolled in school. Gohan had refused to take Bulma's money when she said that it was an advanced payment and instead got another job as a pizza delivery boy. Because he was 16, he got his permit, then license to drive the pizza delivery car, though he usually IT-ed or flew to the person's house, getting good tips because he was “super fast”.

But, now, Gohan was considering enrolling Goten into school too, since the boy had already learned to read, write, some math and science that the older brother could teach him in between jobs. But, with all the work he was doing, the teen was getting tired quicker and couldn't keep up his promise to play with Goten. It hurt to see his little brother's disappointed face, but he had to support them somehow. The teen almost had to get a third job as a bouncer, but decided against it.

Lately, though, Gohan was feeling more and more... unemotional... as the days went by. And he had this bad feeling in the pit of his stomach like something was going to happen and he wasn't going to like it at all. The urge to get a knife was there, but he had promised himself and Goten that he wouldn't do it anymore... Today at work, he had to get a routine medical check-up, which he wasn't looking forward to, since all the questions about his blood would pop up and he'd have to lie.

But for now...

“Okay, Goten! Breakfast will be ready in a bit!” Whipping up some Saiyan pancakes took a lot of practice-since the pancakes were full of rice and as thick as his forearm-, but Gohan managed to make 8 pancakes before Goten was running in the door, mud splattered across one cheek and fingers covered with the sticky brown substance.

“FOOD!” was the one word the boy said before he was running across the room, his blue and pink Chinese-style gi ripped in several places. Gohan quickly caught the boy in his arms and tickled his stomach, both laughing as the teen ran them upstairs and into the bathroom.

“Clean up, Goten, then we can eat...Mr. Piccolo is going to train you today while I work!” there was a squeal as his answer before the little brother escaped the big brother and was washing up quickly. Gohan chuckled lightly, and albeit a bit tiredly as he cleaned his own hands and followed after his energetic brother's footsteps.

“Saiyan pancakes! YES!” Goten was already throwing syrup on the massive plate of pancakes when the teen got to the kitchen before he was shoving them in his mouth and munching loudly. Gohan shook his head before settling in for some breakfast himself. Now was the time to broach the subject of school...

“Goten, do ever feel like you want to learn more...?” the boy looked up, a piece of pancake sticking out of his mouth as he thoughtfully ate it.

“Yeah, I'd love to learn more! Like about fighting techniques, and what happened on Namek and dad himself! I want to hear your stories, like about the Androids and meeting this “Mirai” Trunks guy and-” Gohan put up a hand, making the excited five year old pause.

“I-uh, that's not what I meant... I meant, did you want to go to school with Trunks?” Goten's black eyes went wide, his mouth hanging open as his older brother watched him with worry written across his face.

“Oh, that-that would be cool too...” but he couldn't hide the disappointment he felt at not having the chance to learn more about his family. The teen sighed, wondering how he could find the time when another thought process started.

“Um, Goten, I'll make you a deal... if you go to school with Trunks, you'll get to learn all about fighting, Namek, and the androids all from our dad himself on the weekends and after homework...” There was silence for all of a ten-second time period before the plates across the table were shattering on the ground and Gohan found himself with an arm-full of Goten. The boy was crushing his ribs and squeezing the breath out of him, but the older brother couldn't help but let the Son Grin conquer his features.

“I guess it's a deal then, huh?” the five-year-old only nodded with his own Son Grin in place. “I'm just going to go talk to dad first and make sure it's okay with him, then you can see him tomorrow, sound good?” the boy nodded, bouncing in Gohan's lap and making the teen laugh.

“Okay, go meet up with Mr. Piccolo and have some fun...I'll see you later...” Kissing the boy's forehead, Goten smiled widely before he dashed out the door, a yell of “YES!” sounding outside as he flew off.

Gohan sighed, taking off his green and pink apron-an old apron his mother had always made him wear even though it hadn't fit him at all- and picking up the kitchen. Quickly changing from his pajamas to his plain, black slacks and a tight, white, muscle T-shirt, Gohan focused on his father's ki and instant transmitted to the man.

---X

Goten was happy. Not because he got to train or anything, but because he was going to meet his father for the first time tomorrow! Well... this Goku person was supposed to be like him-happy, carefree and loves fighting. He even looked like Goten, apparently! Gohan was always talking about him... His older brother really loved their father...

“But... Gohan cried over that man...” Goten stopped flying, pausing in midair to contemplate this thought. “And-and he hurt himself with that knife, crying 'daddy' over and over again...does-does that mean this Goku is a bad man? Can-can I trust him? Maybe... I'll ask Mr. Piccolo...Trunks...and Gohan?” Now slightly confused about how he was supposed to feel about his own father, Goten started flying again, this time with a serious quest in mind.

---X

Gohan opened his eyes and immediately saw orange before he was being engulfed by it. He fell, momentarily blinded by the brightness of the orange, to the ground, his father's weight pressed over him.

“Ah, Gohan! It's been awhile! Wow, you seem stronger!” Goku's eyes sparkled with excitement and contentment as he ran an appraising eye over his older son's form. The teen was almost as tall as Goku, coming to his neck, if you didn't count his spiky locks. Though muscled, it seemed Gohan had a slender build, which might have been due to his rigorous schedule, and not due to his training. The full Saiyan frowned as he noticed his son's ribs were showing slightly, but shook his head when he found black eyes peering back at him through long ebony hair, the half-Saiyan having sat up.

“Yeah, it's been awhile, huh, dad...? Ah, about a month or so, right? Man, dad, I'm sorry...” Gohan was rubbing the back of his head sheepishly, making his father laugh in surprise.

“I'm just happy you visit...! I mean, you're so young and to be burdened with so much-ah, I'm sorry...” the look in Gohan's eyes made Goku want to look away, but instead he stared straight into them and admitted defeat.

“It's my fault, isn't it? I-I thought I was doing good by keeping away, but you...you and Goten aren't doing as good as you hoped, right?” The teen was blinking back tears before he shook his head and put his hands on his father's shoulders.

“Dad...It's no one's fault, just what happened. Even if we wanted to go back, what's done is done and we move forward... But I didn't come to get into that...” Gohan smiled widely, reassuring the father as he shifted more comfortably on the ground.

“Um, due to my work schedule, I don't have as much time to … play with Goten, and he-he wants ...” Goku was already frowning, wondering what this had to do with him when Gohan took in a deep, shaky breath and spoke softly: “He wants to know of Namek, of fighting techniques, of the androids, of our adventures... and of you, dad... he wants to know you...” Their eyes clashed and Goku had a moment of deja vu before the sentence ran through his mind.

“He...wants to know me?” was all Goku could say in response, tears coming to his eyes as Gohan nodded.

“Yes, and he wants to know it all … from you... if you are willing to tell him of all of it...” the teen smiled widely as the full Saiyan blinked and then grabbed his first born. Crushing him into a hug, they rocked back and forth, tears coming from both their eyes.

“I-I-this is the best day of my life! And it's all because of you, Gohan!” And then Goku leaned forward and promptly kissed his son full on the lips. The teen's mouth dropped open automatically, letting their tongues touch tentatively before Gohan pulled back, both slightly confused.

“Wh-what's...what are we-what?” was all the younger Saiyan could blankly say before Goku sheepishly rubbed the back of his head.

“Sorry, son... I was just so excited, I did something without thinking...I-” But he was stopped as Gohan leaned up, his eyes hooded as he stared down his father.

“You want to do it again, huh?” The question caught the man off-guard, so did the second kiss they shared as Gohan's hands wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer.

King Kai was just about to walk out of his home and announce to the two that he had food ready when he spotted them. He let his mouth close slowly as he turned back around, both of his two companions running to get into the house as he closed the door.

Goku, by this time, let his first born do what he wanted, which seemed to work out well when the teen moaned, wriggling on the father's lap. Then their lips were pressing together again before Gohan opened his mouth and let his father's tongue delve to meet his own. Goku's hands gripped Gohan's ass, kneading them gently as they battled, saliva mixing before they both pulled back for a breath.

“Oh, Kami, dad... I-I have got to go! I have to get to work and-we-this-us...” Gohan stumbled over the words, Goku sighing as he hung his head, not meeting his son's eyes.

“It...was nothing, Gohan... Go live for me, okay? I'll see you this weekend with Goten, ” As he was slowly being pushed up and off of his father, the demi-Saiyan could clearly see the pain on his father's face before he covered it with a large smile. The full Saiyan enveloped his older son in a tight hug before whispering a solemn: “Go”.

Gohan knew they would have to deal with whatever just went on between them-but now was definitely not the time. Giving his father a small wave and a big smile, the teen disappeared.

---X

Goten was done with training with Mr. Piccolo for the moment, since the Namekian said he needed “a break from the child-ness before it kills me...”. Apparently, Piccolo was allergic to him!

So, now, Goten was looking through some old photographs of his brother and father to get a better feel of the man. There were a few of Chichi, but she must have been the one taking the pictures, since her husband and son were in them all.

“Gohan... you were so...happy. With … dad,” Goten mumbled, his chest tightening as he frowned at the picture on top: Gohan had his arms thrown about his father's shoulders, who was sitting in the grass before them. Goku had a surprised look on his face as he stared at the camera, Gohan smiling widely as he laughed lightly at his father.

The next picture made Goten's heart stop for some reason: Gohan had his arms around Goku's middle, half asleep as Goku carried him home. The sleepy, yet contented smile on his brother's face made Goten feel powerless. And it was all because of their father.

Shoving the photos away from him angrily, Goten crossed his arms in front of his chest, wondering why he couldn't make Gohan as happy as their father had: Was he too useless? Was he not strong enough? Was he just not old enough? Wasn't he like Goku enough that Gohan would smile that carefree, happy, and /loving/ smile at /him/ too? Was Goten just not good enough for Gohan?

The youngest son never felt this … despair in his short life and could only cope by throwing himself on to his brother's bed with an angry pout. Small hands clenched the pillow closer to the tear-stained face as Goten smothered himself in the pillow. This emotion was hurting him and he didn't even know why!

That was until he spotted the glint of a knife on his brother's desk. Yes, one thing was for sure: he knew what he felt about Goku now.

Rolling off the bed with a slight stumble as he stood, Goten reached for the knife, anger flaring into the pit of his stomach as he spotted a fine line of dried blood along its edge. As he stomped out of the house with his ki rising, the five year old began to organize his thoughts, as his older brother told him how to.

Goku. Goku made his big bro happy until the man had died and left him alone to take care of Goten. Goku made Gohan sad, made him cut himself, and made the teen cry. Yet, the father was the only one who could make Gohan truly happy at the same time? Why did Gohan have to be tormented? Why couldn't... Goten be his happiness?!

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” The sudden burst of power overcame his senses as anger and adrenaline coursed through his veins. Gold flickered to life over his features as he grasped to the Super Saiyan transformation. He opened turquoise eyes to glare at the crushed blade in his small palm, blood spilling all over the ground as he opened his hand.

The shards dropped from his hands as he suddenly felt the pain, gasping as his SSJ form dropped. Shaking his head, Goten looked up.

Piccolo was staring down at him, a raised brow making the boy feel guilty for some reason before he shook it off, smiling widely to his mentor.

“Hello Mr. Piccolo! I hurt myself!” He said with his usual cheerfulness, making the Namek sweat drop as he landed beside the bleeding boy.

“It looks like you destroyed Gohan's knife in your hand, actually...” Piccolo said in a matter-of-fact tone, making Goten look ashamedly at the ground.

“I-I couldn't stand looking at it anymore...” was all the five year old said before he sighed.

“Yeah, that and your burst of power...” the youngest Son knew he was in trouble now if Piccolo pressed for answers. And he did.

“Any reason besides this knife here?” he asked, arms folded in front of his chest as he patiently waited for the boy to crack.

“I-I hate him....” Piccolo's eyes widened before fierce black eyes met his own.

“I hate my father...”

---X

It was inevitable that Gohan had to be late on the only day they were doing examinations on them at work, and had to be in at a particular time to make the exam. He missed his by...

“Five minutes! You're usually here early! Now you'll have to take Greg's place, since the poor bastard is sick...” Gohan's boss, Mr. Harold Sampson, gave him a disappointed stare. The pizza factory, called West's Greatest Pizza (kudos to the original title-sarcasm), was bubbling with business already, even though it was only 10 am. Gohan nodded his head and glanced to the health examiner with narrowed eyes. They always were so fascinated with his physical attributes... this was going to be one hella of a day.

The health inspector sat him down and looked over the information his boss had on him before staring at Gohan with a critical eye. Gohan fidgeted in his seat, glancing out of the small break room to the busy workers rushing by.

“So, Gohan Son... it says here you are only 16?” At the teen's nod, the man continued, shifting his reading glasses a bit. “It says here you were around 170lbs when you first arrived here? A healthy weight for someone of your height and fitness...(1)” The man paused, looking up as he tapped a pen absentmindedly against the papers in front of him.

“It is clear to me that you have lost a deal of weight, and by the gauntness in your face,” the health inspector stopped, watching as Gohan ran a shaky hand through his hair. “...your shaky hands and the testimonies of co-workers and regulars here is that you might be depressed, my boy.”

The demi-Saiyan could only open and close his mouth in silence as he stared at the man (now that he looked, there was a name tag that read “Carl Hogin” pinned to his shirt).

“Mr. Son, have you gone through some tragedy in the past few years that would cause this?” Carl asked gently, seeing the shock written on the teen's face.

“I-I... both my parents passed when I was 11...” the man covered his mouth in shock, trying not to gasp as Gohan continued, “My mother died during child birth, leaving me with my week year old brother... My father died....trying to protect me...” Tears fell onto Gohan's clenched hands as Mr. Hogin wrote down the information before placing a hand on the boy's clenched ones.

“Gohan, you need to get help... You can get better, you can overcome this... with the help of your family and friends, you will be okay...” Trying to smile at the teen didn't work, so Carl pulled out a business card, writing on the back of it.

“Here's the number of a well-known and very good psychiatrist, Dr. Linah. She is only a few blocks from here. Please give her a call...I'll... write off that you're okay to work,” Gohan's head shot up as the man smiled sadly down at him, pressing the business card into the teen's hands. “But only if you go make an appointment...” Nodding to Gohan, Carl left the pizza place, disappearing from view as the demi-Saiyan stared with pursed lips at the numbers and address of Dr. Linah.

---X

Piccolo blinked. Goten had gone off, hand bleeding to wash up, remembering the last time he had bled and Gohan had saw.

The Namekian didn't know if it was best to confront the little Saiyan on his feelings or let Gohan deal with him. After all, Gohan would probably be horrified at the thought that Chibi-Goku didn't like his look-alike. As he stared off into space, he raised his brows as Gohan returned from work early, his eyes upset.

“Ah, Piccolo! I thought you two would be out training, did Goten get hungry or hurt or something?” the half-Saiyan asked worriedly, pushing his own feelings aside for the moment.

The Namekian shook his head, sighing heavily as he leaned against the house. “There's something...Goten needs to tell you, kid...” Piccolo stated as the boy bounced out of the house, struck still as he heard Piccolo and saw Gohan.

“Uh, hi brother!” Goten welcomed as he jumped into Gohan's arms, the teen frowning deeply and staring at his younger brother with narrowed eyes.

“Thanks, Piccolo. I'll see you tomorrow, alright?” At the nod of a green head, the man was gone, knowing when to let the two have their privacy. Until he randomly got thrown into the mess, of course.

Gohan set his brother down, patting his head gently before pushing him inside. As he shut the door, Goten shuffled his feet, already feeling he had lost some war as he glanced up to his worried older brother.

“Come on, Goten, let's go sit in the living room,” As the boy scampered over to the couch, the teen slowly followed, his power fluctuating as he tried to put out any bad thoughts. Was Goten fighting with Trunks? Or maybe Goten didn't like Gohan being away so long? Or-

“Brother... I-I don't want to go see dad...” The boy admitted after staring at his lost-in-thought brother for a full minute. Startled at the sudden admission, Gohan blinked confusedly before sitting next to his baby brother.

“Okay, we can see him another time or meet somewhere-” he was cut off as the younger half Saiyan plummeted his fist into the coffee table in front of them.

“No! Gohan, you don't understand!” He cried out, tears of frustration running down his cheeks as the teen gasped in surprise, now knowing that it had been more serious than he had originally thought.

“What? What is it, Goten?” Gohan asked carefully, putting a gentle hand on the the boy's shaking shoulder.

“I-I don't want to see him, Gohan... I just don't want to see him!” he sobbed as he stared at his brother, refusing to hurt him with his words, even though he could see the dawn of recognition blossomed into his wide, onyx eyes.

“You-you don't mean th-that!” Gohan stuttered out, his heart beating quickly as he reached out with his other hand to shake the boy, but at the last moment, realized what he had been about to do.

“I do! I-I don't want to see Goku, be-because you were hurt by him-are hurting because of him! And you can't let him go and live be-because you love him so much!” Anger seemed to fuel the boy to speak further as he curled his hands into fists, gritting his teeth as rage made his power soar.

“He keeps on hurting you-making you sad, making you mad, making you distracted! I don't want to meet him-!” Gohan couldn't contain the instant reaction, his hand stinging slightly as he pulled away from the slap he had just given. Gasping at what he just did, the teen felt tears fall down his cheeks as Goten looked up at him, his cheek smarting as he cried.

“See? He's turning you against me! You can't love anyone else because he's the only one you love!” Sobbing as he ached throughout his body, Goten was suddenly screaming, too hurt to keep in his feelings anymore.

“HE TOOK YOUR LOVE FOR ME AWAY-HE TOOK YOU AWAY FROM ME! I HATE HIM!!!! I HATE HIM SO MUCH!!!!” and with his feelings poured out, he screamed wordlessly, his newly acquired Super Saiyan powers thrumming around him. The sixteen year old was flabbergasted and as Goten ran out of the door, all he could do was bury his head in his hands and cry. When would everything be alright? When would balance be found and everyone would be happy? When would this burden be lifted from Gohan's shoulders once and for all? None of the answers seemed to come as the hero fell to his knees before the broken coffee table, defeated.

-X

And there ends Not My Burden.

1) I have no idea if that would be correct XD Someone who knows better please correct me if the weight is off or something XD

After Note: Thanks for all the reviews, favorites, story alerts, etc. You have all given me inspiration to keep writing this.

Oh, and what an ending. Nothing gets resolved! I know, you're all like, WTF. This was just a prologue of sorts, after all. The real story is coming out soon, don't miss it:

Not My Father By me, Lunamaru! Hope to see you all there!

Much love and luck,

~Lunamaru

The Yaoi Queen of Doom~
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Not My Burden