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Unforgivable	By : thePrincesJewel Category: Dragon Ball Z > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 7485 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own DragonballZ, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
- 8
Standard disclaimer, I suppose.

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He raised two fingers to his forehead, and drew a deep breath. Zweb was right. It was past time for him to go home. His determination wavered when he realized that the only signal he was easily picking up was Vegeta�s. He was not ready for that, not yet! Wait, there! He flickered, and vanished.

Zweb stared at the spot he�d stood. �Fare thee well, my friend.�

Vegeta exploded from the pool, water fountaining around him. �KAKAROT!� The familiar chi he�d been searching for unconsciously for nearly six months� he�d felt it! He turned wildly in the air, searching. I sensed him! I know I did! Where is he?! Eager, and uncertain, he closed his eyes, senses stretched. Kakarot? I felt you� didn�t I?

He drifted closer to the ground, finally landed. Dejected, he walked the few steps to a tree, and sat beneath it. �Kakarot�� he breathed. �Why?�

Almost in answer to the question, the emotions he�d sensed in the younger man nearly a year before swept him. He started to steel himself against them, force them back, as he always did, when it occurred to him that in them he had the answer. This time� he would feel what Kakarot had felt, see what he had seen. He closed his eyes, and lost himself to memories that weren�t his own.

�Goku?� �DAD!� Incredulous cries of relief, and delight, rang in his ears. Goku smiled at the two boys, catching them as they swooped in to hug him. The next few minutes were clamorous, with Goten demanding to know where he�d been, and Trunks trying to find out why he�d disappeared.

�Easy, easy!� Goku laughed, fending them off. �I�m here, I�m home! I just went to visit a friend, is all.� Neither boy noticed the shadow that swept across his face and stayed in his eyes, or the way his smile dimmed slightly. Back only moments, his mask was already firmly in place.

�Dad! You�ve been gone for months! Almost a year!�

�Nobody could sense you, Goku! We�ve all been worried about you!�

The ruckus only grew worse when he got home. Trunks and Goten took turns calling family and friends to let them know Goku had returned. Most of them arrived while Chi-Chi was berating Goku - a process that took a solid hour and a half - and added their two cents. Most of them - and Chi-Chi, when she finished screaming at him - broke into tears. It took some time for them to settle. But when they did, they expected answers.

Almost in chorus, they demanded one simple thing. �WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN????�

�Oh, I went to see a friend.� Goku smiled innocently around at the group. A tiny little frown started when he realized they all looked extremely upset. �Um, is that bad?�

�YOU TOOK OFF WITHOUT TELLING ANYONE WHERE YOU WERE GOING OR THAT�� Chi-Chi was off again, at full volume, waving a very dangerous looking frying pan that had previously contained the fried rice that now decorated Master Roshi and Yamcha.

�Uh, Chi-Chi, I�m real sorry! I didn�t know you�d get all upset if I didn�t tell you I was leaving first!� It was the wrong thing to say, and everyone knew it. There was a collective groan when Chi-Chi took a deep breath, and a collective strangled squawk when she merely smiled and said,

�That�s alright, Goku. You�re back now, and that�s all that matters.� She walked up to him, smile firmly in place. The frying pan rang smartly upside Goku�s head, and knocked him to the floor. �But you aren�t ever taking off without telling me again! Do you understand me?�

�Yes, dear.� Goku collected himself, rubbing his head ruefully. I should have known. I�ve lived with her long enough. I�m so tired� �I�ll just� go�� He slumped back to the floor.

�Goku?!�

Vegeta shivered, his arms wrapped tightly around his legs. He�d treated Kakarot just as Frieza had treated him - except for giving him away after to anyone who wanted to put him through his paces. Left him battered, broken, and bleeding. Kakarot had cried. Vegeta hadn�t given Frieza - or any of the others - the satisfaction of seeing his tears. Kakarot hadn�t cared if Vegeta saw him cry.

Kakarot hadn�t wanted him to hurt anymore.

�He�s coming to!�

�Goku?�

�Are you alright?�

He could hear Chi-Chi sobbing, saying she was sorry for hitting him so hard. Muzzily, he tried to figure out what was going on. �Gwk?�

�Hey, man, are you all right?� That was Krillin. Krillin? Oh, that�s right. Zweb sent me home.

Goku opened his eyes. �I�m okay. Just tired, is all. My grandson ran me ragged before I left.�

There was a long silence.

�Um, Goku? You don�t have a grandson.�

�Sure I do. Radda named him Krill, after you.�

�Radda?�

�My daughter.� Chi-Chi�s sobs stopped. An ominous silence took over the small, crowded room. Goku sat up, one hand pressing the side of his head. His wife packed a wallop, his ears were still ringing a bit. �She�s named after Raditz.�

�And just who,� Chi-Chi said very slowly and very clearly, �is her mother?�

�Zweb. She�s who I went to see.� I thought they were noisy when I came back! Now what�ve I done? Ohhhh! Whoops. That probably wasn�t the best way to say that.

I don�t understand him. How could he believe that letting me hurt him like that would make me feel better? How could he let me do it a second time when he knew what I did the first time? Did he think I wouldn�t turn to the drugs again? Vegeta snorted, if he had, he�d been right. Nothing had been more embarrassing when he�d finally regained control of himself than to realize Kakarot had rescued him from himself!

He threw himself backwards, staring up at the stars. The stars� he�d been feared throughout them, once. No one had known of the fear he�d carried. Even Raditz and Nappa hadn�t realized that their Prince had been Frieza�s plaything. He had acted his part well, pretending a disdainful scorn for a creature he feared and dreaded above all else, but was forced to obey.

Have I become that for Kakarot? He hides behind that smile, that cheerful expression. I know better. I know he fears me, I felt that. I saw it in his eyes. I remember his terror. Does Kakarot hide what I did to him because of his pride? A chuckle escaped. Kakarot has no pride. No, there must be another reason.

His mind drifted back. He just faded. Oh, he came to spar, but he didn�t train as much. I remember Chi-Chi telling me, that day I decided to kill myself. I remember, too, that he came after me. He was the last thing I saw before the blackness, and the first thing I saw when I woke up. He took me out of there, and took care of me. He was there to ask me something?

Probing into what he�d read was very similar to yanking scabs from half-healed wounds and adding salt. He didn�t know why Kakarot had come, didn�t know why he was always asking if he�d remembered something, didn�t know why he always came back to this thrice damned pool. �I don�t know why I keep coming back here, either!� Vegeta snarled. �I should be training. I should be eating, sleeping, anything but being here! I should be�� His voice trailed off as he admitted it. �I should be apologizing to him.�

I bloody damned took advantage of how scared he was. There was no reason for what I did. Oh, the first time� one challenge too many, one sure way to prove conquest. But that last time? That should never have happened. I just wanted to hurt him. I wanted to hurt him for making me remember, when it was my own fault for reading him without asking.

All those �Geta moments. Gah, it turns my stomach to think how weak I acted. Kakarot, though� he wanted me to stay �Geta. He wanted me to be someone he could talk to� so why didn�t he? Vegeta frowned. What he had picked up from the other Saiyan was nothing short of contradictory. There was such an intense longing and need associated with the idea of �Geta being someone to trust enough to talk with, and such a repulsion of the need to talk to �Geta.

He watched the storm clouds pass over while he thought that over, and compared it to his own life under Frieza. Vegeta began to realize that he was not so different from Kakarot, after all.
- 6
- 7
- 8
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Unforgivable