Adult-FanFiction.org : Gundam, Beyblade, DBZ, FMA

As Loyalty Can Be	By : Kimmy Category: Dragon Ball Z > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 6353 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Dragonball Z, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
- 8
(7)

He was late for dinner, Goku realized, as he stood outside the house that he shared with Chichi. The others had probably already eaten. He looked down at his clothes, or rather, the lack thereof. He had stopped on the way home to take a bathe in the river, and then decided that the only clothes worth saving were his undergarments. He scratched his head when it occurred to him that he was facing a dilemma.

He could walk through the door the proper way and greet her like this. Or...he could use instant transmission to grab something from his closet, put it on, and THEN walk through the door. He frowned. Perhaps it would be better to avoid all the fuss that his lack of clothing inevitable would lead to? It wasn’t like he had an inexhaustible amount of spare changes after all...

He suddenly felt like growling from sheer irritation. Why did he care about this?! Why was he standing on the porch outside his home, fretting, worrying even, over CLOTHES?! Such things were of no concern! Or at least...that’s what he had used to think.

Turn, and turn again.

It wasn’t just clothes, it was a million little things. Details, getting on his mind. Things that he had used to think were so simple, like washing dishes, or picking up firewood... They had taken a hold on him.

A couple of days ago, for instance, Chichi had asked Gohan to do the dishes after dinner. ‘I’ll do it later, Ma,’ the teen muttered, trying to sneak out, only to get an earful concerning how unappealing and downright obscene it was, dirty dishes lying for hours in the sink, they had to be taken care of, now, now, now! Gohan argued back, his voice sullen and whiny in a way that Goku had never heard it before. ‘I can do it instead,’ he readily volunteered. Apparently, that had been a mistake. ‘You just had to take his side, didn’t you!’ Chichi screamed, upset, almost in tears... over what?

Take sides? He had never wanted to do that. Washing dishes...it was throwing a stone in the lake, it was blowing a leaf off his face...it was nothing!

Resolutely he opened the door.

“Goku,” Chichi said sternly, walking out of the kitchen to meet him. “So now you see it fit to–” She fell silent then, a look of pure surprise settling over her delicate features. “Goku! You’re practically naked!”

“Hehe,” he grinned, the humor of the situation getting to him. The look on her face! Didn’t expect that, did she! “Aw, Chichi. I was sparring with Vegeta and my clothes got ruined, that’s all. I’ll go put something on right now. Hope you saved some food for me,” he casually added over his shoulder, heading for the bedroom with long strides. “I’m really hungry.”

“We haven’t eaten yet,” she said in a clipped voice. “We were waiting for you.”

“Oh.” He gave her an uncertain glance before stepping into his room. They had been waiting for him? He knew she liked to have the whole family gathered around the table, and he hadn’t missed a dinner since he had come home, but surely...

Opening the closet, he pulled out a pair of simple white gi pants and a light blue shirt with a round collar. Surely they could have gone ahead and eaten without him? The leisurely swim he had taken earlier surfaced in his mind, making him feel guilty. Guilty. He felt like slamming the closet door.

Had he hurt her now? What did dinner represent to her? He did not WANT to comprehend her reasoning.

The kitchen was warm, heated from the oven and the southern facing windows. Delicious aromas filled the room, not just from today’s waiting meal. Feasts from other times had settled into the very walls, it seemed, a banquet of memories.

He watched her carry the large pot filled to the brim with mutton stew and carefully place it on the table. Next, the even larger bowl, ceramic, with a lid that had a hole for the spoon. She still served rice in that bowl, one thing that hadn’t changed. He saw her put her whole body behind the lift, her slender back arched and her arms nearly quivering from the strain. He knew better then to try to help without her asking, though. This was so important to her. Her task, her duty, her room, her stronghold.

“Yay, food!” Goten leapt to his seat and Gohan followed, only less enthusiastic. Goku watched how the eager smile slowly left the face of his youngest son, how he looked around, anxiously, noticing the veiled tension around the table.

“You’re welcome to eat,” Chichi said, a signal that they could begin the meal.

“Ah, this is really good, Chichi,” Goku said, bringing the first bite to his mouth. It was, it tasted heavenly, but the fact of the matter was that he had planned to tell her that even before he had started filling up his plate. The boys murmured in agreement. He wondered if they knew that silence right now would have offended her. Perhaps not... perhaps it came easy for them, spontaneous even. Yes, Mom. Really good, Mom.

They ate in silence for a while, Chichi’s displeasure evident only in the unyielding firmness of her expression. Then, with measured movements, she put her fork down, folded her hands, and stared him directly in the eyes. Her voice was low, but it cut the air like a knife.

“Is it such an arduous task, to eat dinner with your family?”

“Of course not,” Goku fumbled, at a loss of what to say. “I... I was busy, I already told you so.”

“You told me? You TOLD me?!” She made it sound like the worst thing he could possible have uttered. “You did not tell me, you didn’t tell me anything! You just LEFT! No goodbye, no time when you would come back... nothing!” She was half on her feet, unbridled anger inflaming her voice.

“That’s not what I meant...” Just be quiet, he wanted to say. Please be quiet, and look at our sons. Gohan kept eating, outwardly ignoring them both, though distress was clear in his stiff posture, in the way he stared fixedly at his plate. Goten was biting his lip, his eyes big and sorrowful. Confused. Goku wanted to take the boy in his arms, hold him there and tell him...tell him something good. Something that would make the sorrow and the confusion go away.

“Not what you meant? That’s right, you never mean it! You never mean to hurt anybody. You just don’t think, do you, Goku?” Her voice was coated in blistering scorn. “Don’t you have anything to say?”

No. Nothing right now, nothing that wouldn’t just serve to prolong this. He lowered his head, shook it slowly, thick black hair obscuring his view. “I’m sorry, Chichi.”

“I’m sorry, he says. I’m sorry, as if that was all it’d take.” She sat down again, grabbing her fork, neatly spearing her food. Chewing it like it had been tough as leather.

Goku started eating again, not thinking about the taste, just... waiting it out. The minutes dragged by, while nobody said a word. He could swear that the clock on the wall was ticking much louder than before.

“Goku,” Chichi eventually sighed. “Of course I can understand that you occasionally want to spend the whole day training or socializing with your friends. That is perfectly reasonable. All I ask is that you tell me in advance, or at the very least that you call me to say that you will be late.” She leaned over and put her hand over his. Stroked it lightly. “That isn’t to much to ask, is it?”

He thought fleetingly that her outbursts of anger burned just like dry leaves. Bright but brief, swiftly crumbling under the intensity of the heat. From time to time, though, the resulting calmness could be misleading... sparks might still lay there, dormant, ready to burst into flames if they were disturbed. “No.” He cleared his throat. “No, that isn’t to much to ask.”

“Good,” she said, commending him with her tone of voice. “That is very good, Goku.”

Oh, yeah? For the first time since the discussion had started he felt truly provoked, tempted to confront her with some harsh words of his own. Not a sound passed his lips, however, as he studied his half eaten meal, dark bangs once again falling in front of his eyes.

“I’m glad that’s settled,” Chichi said, giving his hand a pat before letting go. She turned to Goten, her expression softening when she met his large troubled eyes. “Aw, don’t worry sweetie.” She tousled his wild mop of hair. “Mommy’s not mad anymore.” She smiled at him, lightly at first, then wide and cheerful, when he answered with at smile of his own. Goku breathed out, feeling his shoulders slightly relax.

“Alright,” Chichi said with bright resolve. “Now let’s just have a nice, normal family dinner, shall we?” She gave Goten another smile. “Tell me, sweetheart,” she said. “How was school today?”

“Fine, Ma,” Goten chirped.

“And what did you learn?” Her voice was a bit amused, prompting him to embellish on his short reply.

Goku recognized the exchange. It was like a ritual.

“The usual,” Goten said, not showing a lot of interest. “Reading from the book, you know... the one about the boy and the tiger. And... and we sang a song!” Goten laughed suddenly, and started to sing, his voice sweet but somewhat loud.

"Charlie the camel has ten humps, ten humps, ten humps. Charlie the camel has ten humps. Run, Charlie, run. Da-da-da-da-daaaa!"

Chichi looked a bit taken aback, but the she smiled good-naturally. Although when the boy launched into the second verse – "Charlie the camel have nine, humps, nine humps, nine, humps" – she held up a hand to silence him. “Alright, sweetie,” she said gently. “That’s very nice, but the dinner table is not a place for singing.”

“But, Ma!” Goten jumped up and down in his chair. “Just the end, it’s really funny, I promise.”

“Well, go ahead then,” she smiled. “Let us all hear the last verse.”

Goten paused, the attention dampening his enthusiasm. He gave his father a glance, brief and shy, before looking at his brother, who nodded reassuringly. Taking a deep breath, he started singing again, confidence growing with each word.

"Charlie the camel has no humps, no humps, no humps. Charlie the camel has no humps. Because Charlie is a... HORSE!"

They all joined Goten in his delighted laughter. “Very good,” Chichi said, bringing her hands together, applauding her son.

For a while they all ate in silence, the mood considerable lighter then it had been before. Goku relaxed completely, enjoying the food. Goten started to talk about his visit to Trunks, and Goku turned his eyes towards him, listening to the bright eager voice as if he was still listening to song.

“Trunks has four rooms full of toys, and he says that they’re just for kids, but I know he likes them, because when I said that he could give them to me he said no.” Goten noticed that his plate was empty, and he held it up for a second helping.

“So,” Chichi said, giving her oldest son her full attention. “How was your day, Gohan?”

---

Goku lay in bed, unable to sleep. He turned over on his stomach, pressing his face into the pillow. Sigh. He turned the pillow next, laying his cheek against the slightly cool surface. His eyes had long since got used to the dark, the dim light from the stars outside the window enough to make out the lines of the furniture in the room, the features of the woman who lay so close beside him.

“Mmh,” Chichi breathed, her eyelids fluttering open before sluggishly closing again, more than half asleep. She moved her hand, it stumbled across his shoulder, brushing against it softly, resting there for a while, before she pulled it back. Her arms close to her, as she always used to lie.

Her brow was relaxed, the mouth soft, lips plump from sleep. He wondered briefly what she would say if he was to lean over and kiss those lips. If she was to wake up with his lips on hers, with his hands on her body.

With Chichi, he thought, some things were endlessly discussed. Food, shores, times, dates, she always let him know what she thought. Some things, though, were never spoken of at all. As if ignoring it could make it invisible. As if pretending it didn’t matter, could mean the same as acceptance.

They didn’t touch each other in bed anymore. Just undressing. Lying down. A few words exchanged. (“I’m so glad you’re back, Goku.”) Sleep.

In their first year together, things had been so different...

He crossed his arms on the pillow, rested his chin on his arms. These were good memories; they should have made him smile. Why couldn’t he smile?

They had been carefree. Everything was new to them both, but still it seemed so simple. He was excited, thrilled even, at this new adventure that life had given him. Chichi, she had come out of nowhere, his fiery partner, his laughing companion. His wife.

What they had shared in bed – and not only in the bed, for that matter – was merely a small part of what they were together. How couldn’t he find it irresistible? The lingering touches, the intimate kisses. So free they had been together, in the forest, on the meadows, the green grass cool against their skin, their skin hot against each other.

She was his laughing companion.

And then... it changed. As everything always do. Her stomach stretched round with child, and she turned her strength inwards... or, at least, that’s the way it had always seemed to him.

She put up walls, for protection, perhaps. They had never used to lock their door before, but now she insisted upon doing it every night. He didn’t understand. What could she possibly fear? What kind of thief did she envision, lurking in the forest, walking on the meadows?

Lifting his chin off his arms, Goku turned to look at the peaceful face of his wife. Strange thoughts. Fit for a sleepless night.

The last time they had touched... He rather didn’t dwell upon that memory, but how could he not? They had been here, in this room, in this bed, just a few weeks ago.

He had been gone... it hadn’t seem like such a long time, but then again, perhaps it was. He had two sons now, two, and one of them was almost an adult.

Maybe she had just thought it the proper thing to do. The newly returned husband, and all that. She was glad that he was back, he didn’t doubt that, yet... when she had turned towards him, insisting hands telling him what to do, it was like she was farther away from him then ever.

Was this what he remembered from their very first year together? Was this all it was to it? This manipulation of caresses, this awkward moving in position, this deliberate rubbing of flesh against flesh?

He was hurting her then, he knew. Not physically, but still she would turn her face away, so she didn’t have to look at him.

Some things were never spoken of at all.

She lay next to him, a warm presence that couldn’t be ignored. What he longed to do was to wake her up, pull her closer, shout at her, kiss her - something, anything that would make her slam the doors open in avid recognition. Yet... she was just sleeping. Her brow was serene. He was the one who was tossing and turning, reaching out and pulling back. Perhaps, he thought, as he tucked the blanket more snugly around her resting form, perhaps it wasn’t a question of pretending.

Maybe the only pretending had been the embarrassed touches they had exchanged those few weeks back. Perhaps it just wasn’t there, the thing they had been trying to imitate.

He turned over on his back again, careful not to disturb Chichi. The words echoed in his mind. Was this the way it was now?

Undressing... Lying down...

He stared at the dark ceiling, not even blinking.

Sleep...
- 6
- 7
- 8
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

As Loyalty Can Be